Homeschooling mom to be.

I've been tagged....and need advice.

Ok, so the rules were that I was supposed to link to people, but I don't know how to do that.  They were also that I was supposed to tag six other people, but I don't have six friends to tag.  So I'm just going to fill out my answers, and leave it at that.  I'm just supposed to state six unspectacular facts about myself.

1.  I am one of six children, the second oldest child and the oldest daughter.

2.  My two brothers, the only two boys, are twenty years apart in age.

3.  I used to jump hurdles in junior high.

4.  Before marriage, I lived in the same house for 18 years.  Since marriage, we've lived in five places in four years.

5.  I like eating lemons.

6.  I love the East Coast of Canada.

Ok, now that that is finished, I need some advice.  My daughters, aged two and three, are bored.  Is this a normal thing for kids their ages?  I put playdough in front of them, I colour with them, I let them play in the water "doing dishes".  I get them to help me with laundry, vacuuming and sweeping.  They will do these activities for about three minutes before claiming they're done.  I don't know if I should allow them to move from one activity to another so quickly, or make them stick with one thing, if only for ten minutes.  They get whiny because they're bored.  I'm inclined to make them stick with something.  But I've been informed that they're too young for that.  Any thoughts?

Mama J.

Another Unusual Weekend.

What was so unusual about it?  My in-laws took my oldest daughter to their campground/trailer, and we kept the youngest one at home with us.  Going to the camp was incentive for our oldest to continue the second half of her potty training.  She did wonderful, and had her reward this weekend.  It was interesting, because other than one night, the girls had never really been separated.  It was funny because neither girl mentioned the other, except the oldest said, "N can't come because she won't pee on the potty".  That was it.  They left with her on Friday evening, and returned Sunday afternoon.  I can't believe the difference going from two children to one.  I don't remember much of having only one anyway, because they're so close together.

Anyway, we took the youngest to the beach with us on Saturday,  where we narrowly escaped being caught in thunderstorm with a torrential downpour.  We had the wipers on the fastest speed and still couldn't see out!  We then went to Walmart to find a cabinet for the bathroom.  The one we wanted wasn't in at that time, so we have to check back later.  Sunday we went to church as usual, and then took a couple of university students out for lunch.  It was a nice weekend, even though I missed my girl.  I can't believe, by the way, how fast they're growing.  We had bought them both new sneakers in April, and I had to buy N some more a couple of weeks ago, because the other ones were already pinching her toes.  This time, I bought some with lots of room!

Well, my husband has decided that we can go back east in September!  I'm so excited, we haven't been out there for 3 years!  I actually feel homesick for it, even though I've never lived there.  My husband's goal is someday to live there again.  Whether we will or not, or how soon that will ever happen, doesn't really matter.  It's fun to dream about.  I know he misses it terribly.  He lived there until he was 29, when he moved here.  I hope we can go back someday, but for now, visits are wonderful.

Mama J.

What have I gotten Myself Into?

Well, these adjustments are harder than I thought they would be.  Or maybe I just have unrealistic expectations.  I had a big homesickness issue on Monday night.  I wanted to go home!!!  I miss our independence as our own little family.  I think, no matter how old you get, when you live with your parents (or your husbands' parents) you feel this ingrained need to work extra hard and explain yourself all the time.

Anyway, I'm finding that it's going to be extremely difficult to teach my girls the delicate balance that sometimes needs to be kept in relationships.  The balance between keeping the peace, and asserting yourself when there's genuinely a problem.  The balance between speaking firmly, but in love when those problems do get addressed.  The difference between love bearing all things and becoming a doormat.  Not that I'm becoming a doormat, don't get me wrong.  But some personalities find it easier to become one than to deal with the dread of the inevitable confrontation and possible criticism, however founded or unfounded it may be.

Sigh, it's going to be a really, really long winter.  I really want to do what's right and make this work.  But I want to be on our own again too!  I'm also afraid of putting my husband in the middle if his parents and I don't agree.  Not that it would be intentional for me to do that, but he would naturally feel an obligation to be involved.  He would feel the need to defer to his parents because they're older, they were here first, they're his parents.  But he would feel the need to defend me if the fault does not lie with me.  It's really complicated, and there are so many facets that come up.  I truly want to keep the peace and do my duty as a wife and mother, but it is going to be really challenging.  I'm having to come up with ways to work around obstacles I never anticipated, and some of them make me shudder. 

However, having said all that, I am thankful that we have some breathing space during the summer months.  His parents go to their trailer to relax every weekend.  It's not that we don't get along, but of course, there's that old saying about too many cooks in the kitchen.  I realize this sounds like a lot of complaining, but it's really not.  I'm just beginning to grasp what lies ahead of me, and it's a little daunting.  I tend to be an overreactor, even if it is justified.  I'm an emotional person, and so it stands to reason that my reactions would be emotional as well.  I try to counter that by walking away, but unfortunately, that can be construed as rude by the other party.  So I often find myself blamed for things that were never my intention to put forth.

Ok, I'm going to stop now because it's beginning to sound too much like a teenaged "nobody understands me" sob story.  Lol, this was actually meant to be a positive thing, because as I realize these things, I can be better prepared to find a way to deal with them.  The children are adjusting slowly.  They sleep through the night, which they didn't after our last move.  They go to sleep later than usual, and wake up really, really early.  They don't have much appetite these days, and they don't seem to know what to do with themselves.  But that will work itself out as they become accustomed to the idea that this is their home now.

I've been asked to host our weekly Bible Study here tomorrow evening, so that will be another thing for us as a larger family to adjust to.  Thankfully this house has two livingrooms, so we can pretty much stay out of each other's way without inconveniencing each other as well.  I just have to be careful not to complain too much, and to remember to be thankful.  If you think about it, send up a little prayer for me....for us.  Thanks.

Mama J.

I'm married to the best man alive!!!!

Ok, that might be overdoing it a wee bit....but I had the most amazing weekend with my husband and he surprised me!  My friend had offered to take my girls to the zoo for the day so we could have a bit of a break.  We haven't had any dates (with the exception of a few movie nights), nothing big, since the kids were born.  I asked him if we could do something overnight, since my friend volunteered for that as well, but he told me we really couldn't afford that.  So I was set to simply enjoy a day in here with him.  Well, my friend picked the kids up at nine am Saturday morning, and my husband then told me to pack an overnight bag with some swimming stuff.

Off we went!  He took me to a lovely city two hours away.  First of all we went to Sunfest there, where there were a whole lot of vendors from different ethnic backgrounds selling their wares.  We strolled around a huge park full of them browsing.  Then we went to lunch, and then to visit some really quaint shops downtown in the city.  After that, we checked into our hotel, where he had booked the "romantic package" for us that included a suite with a sitting room, a bottle of champagne, chocolates, robes, dinner coupons, and free breakfast!  We went swimming in the hotel pool, had dinner, and then went to a movie.  In the morning, we had breakfast, a morning swim, and it wasn't until after lunch Sunday that we picked the kids up.  At that time, my friend said they kids were good, she had fun, but she was exhausted, because she couldn't believe how much energy they have.  And she went to school for, and works with, kids all the time!

Anyway, we came home and had a relaxing day playing with the kids in the sprinkler out back.  It was such a lovely weekend, and so unexpected.  I'm so glad that my hubby was able to enjoy some time off too.  Being self-employed is a lot of time committment.  He did have to make and take a few phone calls anyway, but it was such a nice time enjoying each others' company.  We had kids right away, and barely had time to settle into marriage, so it was something that sometimes felt like it was missing.  I'll be enjoying th glow of this weekend for a long time!

Mama J.

And the Dust Settles.

The Mountain Maiden....or Matron.

Well, we are officially all moved.  I spent the morning this morning cleaning out the old house and returning the keys to the landlord, and walking through one last time....to say goodbye to our independence for a season.  Now it'll take me weeks to sort through the mountains of stuff.  Combining two households is a chore!  We have to sort through who has what and what to do with the duplicates.  Since it is only supposed to be temporary, I don't want to be too hasty about what to put in a garage sale.  But neither do I want to get rid of it all and have to replace it when we part ways.

My hard-working hubby sorted through so much stuff in the garage today and got it as organized as he could with the limited space he had.  I dont' know how he did it.  He's definitely king of the mountain.  I'm trying my best, but he's the more experienced "climber" of the two of us!  We're planning a big garage sale, and my in-laws decided to combine with us and get rid of their unwanteds as well.  I actually enjoy doing that sort of thing.  Whatever we don't sell we'll donate.  There's a shop here that sells stuff to raise money to send Bibles to Mission fields.

Well, my kids are handling the change alright, which is saying a lot for them. But they're already familiar with the house, since they've visited often, and been overnight once or twice as well.  They've been a little bit on the whiny side, but that's expected, since they're completely out of sorts and out of routine.  My three-year-old, who was toilet trained, started having accidents again.  But things will settle down once we get most of our stuff sorted out.  They'll adjust alright.  Now I am off to get my kids ready for bed.  Good night!

Mama J.

Welcome to Chaos

Whew, we're up to our ears in boxes!  The thing is, I'm moving over as fast as I'm packing them up!  Each day I take a load over the new place and try to put away as much of it as I can.  It'll be sooo nice to get settled in.  We hired movers to come for the really heavy stuff, like my piano.  So they're showing up at seven thirty am on Friday.  I decided I'd try to get as much as possible moved over before then, and we can use the weekend to clean the old house.  It's been tiring with two small children.  Poor kids are going to feel unsettled for a while.  I had all these offers of help over the past few weeks, but suddenly they're nowhere to be found.

But anyway, the kids are a welcome distraction in the evenings.  There's certainly no lack of entertainment where those two are concerned!  This is going to be a really short post because I should get back to packing.  I'll check in when we're settled in the new place.  See you all later!

Mama J.

Grand Central Station.

That's what my house is feeling like lately.  My mom, brother,and sister are staying with us for a week while my dad gets the kitchen renovated.  My other sister, who is a single mom, is out of work for now, so she often comes over for time out of her little basement apartment.  I feel like I'm running all over the place all day.  I know I shouldn't complain.  After all, we rented a larger house with the intent of doing stuff like this.  I guess I've felt like I've been running on empty lately.  I haven't taken the time I should for my quiet time with God.

The one verse that has kept coming to mind is "be not weary in well doing".  I can't even remember where it's found, my brain is so foggy lately.  My three year old has tonsilitis.  But anyway, that's off topic.  I can't help being weary if I'm trying to do it all myself.  And I have been.  My husband has a lot of stress at work, so I don't ask him for help or support, so that I don't put more of a burden on him.  My mom works, and homeschools my two youngest siblings, and I hoped this would be a chance for her to get some rest.  But there's no harm in praying together.  I'm not burdening them by asking for that.

Another thing I have to learn is that my siblings are my siblings, not my babysitting charges.  My mom is there, she's their mom, she can deal with things that come up.  The only things I need to worry about are getting my house tidied, my kids taken care of, meals made, and comfort given.  It's only hard if I'm not seeking the Source of comfort myself.  What makes me think I can do it all alone?  I don't have to.  Maybe there's some pride at play here, so I need to work on that.  Other than that, I just need to learn to relax about a lot of things.  I never considered myself and uptight person, but I guess I am when it comes to things I want to be perfect that aren't....which is just about everything.  Oh well, I'll put my feet up, read to my kids, and listen to the chaos.  Who cares, I was never asked to stop tornados....only Jesus calmed the storms.

Mama J.

Revelation.

I was reading my sermon notes the other day, and came across the verse that says "A soft answer turneth away wrath".  I've always applied that to speaking with other adults.  But I realized how dumb I was, like getting hit in the head with a brick....it echoed with a big resounding 'DUH!"  I've been butting heads with my three-year-old.  Anyone who has kids that age or older know this is nothing profoundly surprising or fascinatingly new.  But I realized that I get really impatient with her when she fails to respond the way she's been taught, or she lashes out at me because she's frustrated.  Here's where the "duh" comes in.  I show my impatience with her, and it makes her frustrated!!!!!

Isn't that an amazing find?  Aren't you glad I solved all problems involving two- and three-year-olds?  Simply answer them softly and gently, and "poof" all your temper tantrums and yelling matches will go away!  Ok, that's exaggerating a wee bit.  But it does make a huge difference.  I think in a way, I expected that because they were my children, they somehow inherited some of the teaching my parents gave me.  That would have to be a fascinatingly new medical discovery!  But it's true, for some reason I always knew that other "troubled" children just needed some love and discipline, but I expected my children to fill their brains by absorption or something equally non-viable!  So now that I have a big red brick mark with "duh" imprinted on my forehead, I'll get right to work speaking softly and gently at my children, which I'm sure will always happen, and just come naturally......duh.

Mama J.

A Long road ahead.

Great Long

We had a wonderful weekend as a family!!!!  I'm so glad we finally got to have that.  My poor husband usually has to work long weekends.  We spent Saturday at a huge farmer's market in Mennonite country.  You need a whole day to see this place!  However, since the morning was fairly cold and rainy, we didn't stay too long.  But our girls did get a pony ride out of it.  We then had lunch at a restaurant and spent the afternoon wandering around a tourist village full of quaint little shops.  My husband purchased our last name on a certificate with the coat of arms and some of the name's history.  He's planning on giving it to his dad for father's day.

We did come home for a little bit, but since the sun had come out and made it such wonderful weather, we invited my parents and siblings to join us for a picnic in the park.  We stayed out too long and the girls went to bed very spent.  We had church Sunday morning with a wonderful message and then we took my grandmother out for lunch.  We pretty much spent the rest of the afternoon and evening relaxing.  Yesterday we went to a neighbouring city and watched the nationals for racquetball.  My husband used to play in all these events, so it was great for him to be able to see all his old team mates and competition.  They are all asking him when he's going to play again.  I really hope he can someday.    All in all, it was  a great time, and it was so nice just to be a family together.  I hope you all had a great weekend too.

Mama J.

Garbage Bag Diving

Graciousness....a lost art?

Wow, I've had a lot of thinking to do these past few days.  It all involves a couple I know in a really new relationship...as in the past two months new.  I'll have to give you a bit of background before I can properly explain.  The young man I've known for years and years.  He has always been extremely respectful and chivalrous.  This extended to all ages and groups and types.  It's simply in his nature.  He's also had a lifelong dream of buying some land and building his own house.  In the past year, he finally purchased a lot of land, designed a house, and had it approved for blueprints.  He was to start building this spring.

Ok, so here's where my concern comes in.  He was here to visit with his new girlfriend, and offered to take her dishes to the kitchen for her, since he was already up.  She turned her back on him, and said "no, I can do it myself".  That in itself is not a big problem, but it's not allowing him to do for her what is in his nature to do.  I did not find it a very gracious response in the least.  No one questioned whether or not she was capable of doing it herself, and would it have hurt her to graciously allow him to offer this service to her?

The other concern is this: after all that time, effort, money and excitement, it sounds as though he's not going to build his house after all.  It sounds as though she will finish her degree this fall, and she wishes to continue her education in another part of the country.  I suspect this is why he's not continuing with his plans, he wants to go where she's going to school.  I guess I just question how healthy this is.  Especially since the relationship is so new.  If it were a time-tested relationship where there was a lot of depth and committment, I could see how they might come to this compromise.  I'm just worried that he's doing all of this when it may not work out.  Perhaps I'm making more of it than I should, but I honestly have to question this.

I wonder if he's doing this to please her.  But I wonder also whether he'll be happy in the long run, having given up his dream.  I always thought that the woman followed her husband (if that's where this will lead them).  As I said, I do realize that I may be making too much of this.  The girl is really a very nice, friendly girl, very appreciative of services others do for her.  I find nothing wrong with her personally, I just wonder if they were really meant to be together.  Of course, it's not my place to question that if they have prayed about it and believe that to be the case.  I don't know if I should approach the man with my concerns, or just leave it be.  I do pray about it a LOT.  Hmmm...it's very confusing.

Mama J.

Whew, as the dust settles....

Wow, what a crazy weekend.  I dont' think we stopped to breathe!  My brother and his girlfriend arrived Friday evening.  I had prepared the room ahead of time, so that was taken care of.  They stayed and chatted with us for a while before they were off to meet the first of a long line of people.  They were home later and we stayed up way too late talking.  The next morning, they prepared breakfast for us.  We had to wait on my brother he slept in at my parents' house and it took him longer than he anticipated to get to our house.  They went to a wedding Saturday afternoon, but I had to get my kids out of the house.  My poor hubby had excellent timing and chose that day to come down with a whopper of a cold.

Anyway, we got some shopping done for the girls and bought them a few items of clothing.  Saturday evening was the big family get-together with everyone there.  It was planned for my parents' house, but at the last minute, they asked to host it at my house, since I had more space.  So we hauled enough food to feed an army across town and set up there, only to find out everyone would be about two hours later than expected!  Oh well, it was still a lovely time with long chats and catching up.  Sunday was church, and my brother left immediately after, and we were invited to my in-laws for a family get-together at their house.

Whew, are you tired after reading that?  All of that with toddlers underfoot, I think I deserve some kind of medal!  My poor worn-out husband went back to work this morning, coughing all the way.  I secretly called my mother-in-law to ask her to give him something for his cough.  He loves to remind me that he's a tough guy, and I agree, but also love to remind him that he's also a sap.

Great weekend coming up!

My big brother is coming!!!!  He moved to another Province about four years ago.  Yes, we've seen him since he moved, but it's always excited when he comes back.  He's bringing a special someone with him this time!  He finally met a lovely girl, whom he's started courting.  She'll be coming along so our family can meet her.  I'm so excited.  Since my parents have a very small house, my brother will be staying with them, and his girlfriend will be staying with us.  I'm going to have to get off the computer so I can get the spare room all set up for her.

He's coming back for a friend's wedding tomorrow, but tomorrow night we're going to have a big family dinner.  On Sunday, we're going back to visit our old church.  I'm so excited.  I've met his girlfriend in person once, very briefly, but that was well before there was any interest on my brother's part.  She is going to school in Montreal, but her parents live in the same town as my brother.  He had bought himself a piece of land last year, and designed his house, and will begin building it this spring.  It's all so exciting!  Hopefully I'll remember to take photos so I can post some up here.  That's if I get my brother's permission, he's rather camera shy.  I'll post after the weekend.  God bless.

Mama J.

Gettin on the bandwagon

It's official.

100th Entry.

Tales from the Crib.

My girls have developed such a sense of humor, even when they're doing something wrong.  It can be so hard to keep a straight face and deal with the issue when I just want to laugh at them!  Two days ago I was walking through the mall with them.  My oldest did really well.  She didn't hold my hand, but she stayed right by me, stopped when I told her to, and came back to me when I called her from a bit of a distance.  My youngest, however, was running wild.  Finally, I told her she wouldn't be allowed to walk by herself since she wasn't listening.

"Hold my hand please," I said.  "No" she answered.  Patiently, I tried again, "Hold my hand please, we're not walking until you do".  Her answer this time was to put her hands behind her back, look at me with wide eyes, and say, "it's all gone!"  Complete astonishment on her face, as though she didn't know what to do, how could she hold my hand when they were all gone?  They are also both drama queens.  Usually the drama happens mostly when they're hurt or angry, but it does crop up in play time once in a while too.  This morning, it sure did!  My oldest was perched up on the back of the couch on a corner.  She yelled "HELP!" to anyone who walked passed, but when offered help, she refused.  Finally, her sister came over to help.  With a dramatic sigh and rolling of the eyes, the elder promptly replied, "I am the only one who can help now".  I honestly have no idea where they get these things to say!  I'm not the least bit imaginative so I would never dream of coming up with these things.  I just have to sit down and laugh.

Mama J.

Quilt!

Hello!  I finally figured out, after a long process, how to post photos of my quilt!  This is the underside, where most of my problems showed up!

This is a close-up so you can see the embroidery that was done first.

This is the whole thing together, and I'm not quite finished the actual quilting part, just about half way done.

 This is a skirt I'm knitting for one of my girls.  I found a pattern at a store, and thought it was so cute, I decided to try it for myself.  If it works well, I'll make a matching one for the other of my two girls.  I just haven't yet decided who's going to be the guinea pig!

So that's the extent of my creative endeavors so far.  I've made quite a few mistakes with the quilt, but I know how to avoid them for my next attempt.

Mama J.