I am all for breastfeeding and natural childbirthing. Not because it is the "in thing" nor am I a New-Ager harkening back to the "good ole days" .

I just believe that breastfeeding and natural childbirth are part of the grand design of God when he created the heavens and the earth. He made our bodies to conceive, carry, birth and nourish babies!

But obviously in this fallen world, not many people believe what I believe - Christians or not. I had someone ask me (paraphrased) - what's the big deal in having a natural birth? Baby still comes out in the end, right? And of course I have heard what every breastfeeding mother hates to hear "Formula is as good as breastmilk".

Yes, no matter how we birth, by the grace of God, both mother and baby come through it fine and glory still is given to the Lord of Hosts. And unless a child has severe allergies, a formula-fed baby turns out as well as a breastfed one.

In other words why bother?  Take the easy route - have an epidural (afterall, you only throw up what!) and feed the baby formula (then you get to sleep all nite while someone else feeds the baby). Why make life difficult?!

Yes, why make life difficult?

Well, for one, I believe in following God's design for our bodies  He is my Creator and He knows how our bodies function best.

But what if someone else doesn't believe in what I believe? How much do I push my views forward? Should I launch into a "Why you should birth naturally" and "Why you should breastfeed" walking advertisement? Or should I just keep my mouth shut and be nice? Especially if they are non-believers.

A recent example : My sil gave birth recently. She did the whole managed birth deal (even before contractions were felt, she had the epidural put in?!) and then attempted to nurse all of one week. Despite me telling her to hang in there, to just take each day as it comes, making 2 special trips (with all 6 children in tow) down to her place to show her how to nurse lying down, she stopped nursing directly after one week. Instead, she dutifully pumps out the milk every 3hrs or so - even at nite!

Yes, kudos to her for being so dligent but - what a waste of time and effort!!! All that pumping, washing, sterilising of bottles/teats/pump. And yet, the amount she pumped is insufficient for the baby's needs. So she has to supplement the ebm (expressed breastmilk) with formula.

She could have spent all that time and effort nursing baby directly and bonding with the baby at the same time! Yes, it is tiring to nurse a newborn baby especially if it is the mom's 1st time. But isn't that what motherhood is about?

Since I don't really know her that well (I can count the number of times we have spoken since she got married!) I didn't push things too hard.

But now, I am wondering - should I have?

Disclaimer : I am not against taking epidural or any other pain relief during childbirth nor am I against giving a baby formula. BUT I am saddened by people who aren't even open to having a natural childbirth and who don't persevere in breastfeeding their babies.

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Articles for the Christian SAHM can be found at
www.BuildingUpMoms.com

Posted by Delci

At one stage, I was VERY enthusiatic and passionate about spreading the nursing, natural birth message. HOWEVER, along the way, I have learnt to follow the person's Q.

I realised that for those who are closed minded, there is no point for me to waste my breath, while others, every single effort is rewarding.

Eg, for breastfeeding. What I now do a lot is, I ask them, before birth, and when just gave birth. Before birth, I try to gauge their seriousness to breastfeed. And after birth, along the way when the learning curve is steep, I keep asking them if she wants to continue trying.

Those who are firm, will say "yes" alllllll the way. Those who are not, well, I'm sure you can tell, they will give the erm and arm...


cheers,
Delci

Posted by Michelle

I find it strange that she'd rather pump it out even at night! I suspect, mebbie she is not confident that her breastmilk alone can meet the baby's needs. So by pumping out, she can at least tell how much is given. Sigh, but we all know pumping out is not as efficient as direct feeding ....

The world is really going crazy (just the other day i read abt a SAHM returning back to workforce - with 4 girls now taken care by 2 maids - and find herself "meaning and satisfaction" at workplace!!!)

I am a SAHM and I bf my first one till he is 28 months, I hv one christian mom coming to me and said to my face i hv pampered by child too much by bf him till 28 mths!!! I was shocked when i heard that and each time she gave me that look.

I believe we need more moms like urself =)) to encourage new mommies =)

* sorrie, typo error in my previous comment (typed ur dh name wrongly)

Posted by Jessica

Hi Sister Serene,
I certain understand the frustrations of people who are not willing to give it a chance to challenge the "norms" that the world has taught them. Most people (even Christians) tell me to listen but believe with a pinch of salt and tell me that painless natural births and fulfilling bfeeding experiences are for the lucky few... Granted that I'm not yet a mother (so i do not yet have my own stories to share), but I have been blessed deeply by your sharing and also what the Lord has been teaching me in His word regarding the blessings of children and how He's created all things for His divine purpose (including our bodies to sustain life.) I do believe that God's promises are for ALL who believe. Do be encouraged that even as you encourage mums of today, you're also seeding God's truth into the mums of tomorrow and the next generation. =)

Posted by Anonymous

I recalled my SIL literally calling me "stupid" for going through the pain of natural childbirth instead of relying on "science" for a painless childbirth. She went thru 2 planned c-sections so that she can juz see the babies (after they have been cleansed) and get to choose her dates.. and thereafter chucked to maid lor... sometimes i feel sorry for people who are so detached... the journey of motherhood, involved lots of ups and downs, is beautiful and satisfying, this can only be true if you are willing to experience it instead of finding an easy solution to it.. sigh...

Posted by Anonymous

Hmmm.....Is your SIL working? if she is going back to work, she may not be bothered about the bf because it will be difficult to do so after the maternity leaves. Besides, working mothers have a lot to juggle and employers are not exactly understanding. Could you provide encouragement or advise on how to manage work and motherhood too? Becaue of this difficulty, many working mums stop at one. For many, because of financial reasons and cost of living, being a homemaker like you is not an option at all.

Posted by MamaLim

Well, this blog and my website www.BuildingUpMoms.com is specifically for SAHMs :)

Obviously we SAHMs and our dhs have made the decision that mom is going to stay home and focus on raising the children, making the home a pleasant place and be a helpmeet to our dh. So there is no torn loyalty of "am I suppose to be there for my children and dh" or "should I be there for my employer?"

I am afraid I am totally unqualified to say anything of help to WOHMs except to encourage you to ask yourself and your dh - what are your family goals? What are your goals for your children? Does mom working help or hinder these goals?

A lot of pple say - "oh I am not so "lucky" to be able to stay home." Well, the truth is - we made plenty of sacrifices that need to be made so that we can achieve the goals we want to achieve.

If we set ourselves up to NEED to have condo/pte apartment living, 2 cars, a maid, enrichment classes, branded clothes, manicures, facials, massages, then of course mom HAS to work :)

No, one need not to be as poor as a church mouse to be SAHM one just needs to ADJUST one's expectations and change one's worldy mindset.

And about bf & working - I personally know MANY women who have worked and pumped - some up to 2years for EACH child to make it work. It is a question of - how committed are we to making bf work isn't it? Do we really it is the BEST for the baby.


Edited by MamaLim on Nov. 13, 2007 at 10:49 PM

Posted by Michele

Hi Serene

I pray and really hope there are more moms like U =))

Eversince i became a SAHM, I totally enjoy the process and every bit of it. I always tell those who said to me "Wow, u make such a BIG sacrifice!" this, u make an EVEN big sacrifice should u return back to work force!!" After that, those who asked the question never ask anymore ha ha!

I noticed, many of my friends who are working moms and their children look after by maids, have started to drift apart from me. Dun get me wrong, i didn't push my values onto these friends but i realised they just find it difficult to understand why i chose to stay at home and "waste my time". Although that sadden me, but i feel this path is not really taken by many, especially when everyone else is talking abt "upgrading their houses/cars".

One of the many blessings that come with SAHM really is to live life simply and trusting the Lord even more each day. It humbles me.

Thank U for your blog!!! I pray u would hv time to write often. =)

God bless