Building An Ark in Singapore

Nov. 9, 2008

Baby Sitting Other People's Children

Please note that this is totally a personal opinion.

Recently, a reader on Building Up Moms wrote and asked for some advice regarding babysitting. A friend has also taken up responsibility of babysitting her orphaned teenage niece. And both are facing challenges in their new duties.

I must say that I have no experience in babysitting other people's children, regardless of the child's age. But I do know it is something not as easy as it sounds. So let me just say, "hats off to you ladies who have chosen to help a friend or relative by babysitting their child/ren."

You see, I would try very hard not to babysit another person's child. And it is not because I have 6 children of my own to look after. It is just that watching out for another person's child is a heavy responsibility.

If my child should fall and knock herself, it would easily be accepted as part and parcel of growing up and being a child. But if the child I am babysitting had the same accident, I would be guilt stricken. Which also means that as long as the child is under my care, I would be on high alert making sure that he/she does not have any accidents while under my care. And that is so not my parenting style.

And then what about discipline? The parent and I may agree on the principles of discipline but how we work it out could be very different. And that could be a great source of friction.

And if the child placed under my care is an older child, it would present even more challenges. Like it or not, the older child sets an example to the younger ones at home.

All the advice I can offer to any of you considering this option is to :

make sure this is what God wants you to do,
your dh is in full and total agreement for you to do this,
lay down the ground rules - for the parent and the child from Day 1 and stick to it, and
make sure it doesn't distract you from your basic calling of being a parent to your own children.

PS : And in the same way, I would not choose to run a school after my children have flown the coop. Imagine being responsible for a group of children that are not my own. Faint!