It was an interesting lunch we had yesterday. Dh's cousins (mom's side) decided to hold a family gathering of all the aunts, uncles, cousins who are in town. I actually got to see what a HUGE family gathering is like! Now one would require a LARGE house  or one would have to book a huge room at a hotel or club to host something like that. One of dh's cousins had the HUGE house.

And we had roti prata from Casuarina Prata and satay for lunch. Yums! The kids gorged themselves silly of course. Me? I had self-restraint.

Dh's grandma had 5 children. And they produced 14 grandchildren for her and I don't know how many great grandchildren since not all were there. I have never met most of them since I married dh 13 years ago!

However, although the older generation grew up in a large family, sadly, most of the 14 grandchildren had the token 1 to 2 child. So, we, with our 6 + 1 children were an oddity amongst them. And I do mean an oddity like the town's circus act

Many just came up to us and gaped. Now that was not pleasant especially to pregnant, grouchy me.  But other than that, it was well...interesting. Makes me wonder how big a house we would need to have to house a gathering of our own, if the Lord should choose to tarry a little while longer and blesses us with grandchildren!

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Change #1

Two weeks ago, our youngest child self-weaned. It was a surprise to me as she had been most unwilling to let go of the morning and night nursing session just before that.

Every morning when she wakes up, she'd ask to be nursed and if I should delay her by say, bathing before nursing her, she would scream blue murder! But on that fateful day, 10th September, she just lay on the bed and did not ask to nurse. I waited for about 10 minutes and still she didn't ask. I took that opportunity to bathe her and she didn't protest.

Come after dinner, where she usually fusses to nurse, she again did not ask to nurse! In fact, she looked for her bottle of water to sip just before I brought her up to sleep.

And that was it. Our nursing relationship came to an end.

Am I sad? Not really, especially since this time round it was really a non-event. I didn't have to encourage her to wean or to say "no" to her. I really dislike nursing when I am pregnant and I usually can take it till the 2nd trimester. Longer than that, I cringe every time they nurse. It really grates on my nerves each time they latch on.

I am glad that it was so smooth sailing this time.

Change #2

24th Spetember, the littlest one - so far - moved into the Girls' Room. She was a bit disoriented in the beginning and protested a little. But she slept right through. It was really nice to have our master bedroom back to ourselves! Dh called it - the reclaiming of the Promised Land! Lol!

The only downside is that she now wakes up earlier than normal. A whole hour earlier! She is an extremely light sleeper and every little sound would stir her. So, since the common bathroom is right next to the Girls' Room, sounds of any of the children going in to wash up before coming down for breakfast inevitably wakes her up. Well, she just has to learn to get used to these noises.

Reaction from the girls have been sweet. They are so thrilled to have her in their room.  And in order to accommodate all the 4 girls in the room, I have had to re-arrange the furniture in the bedrooms. Which always thrills everyone. They love to have a new look to their rooms every few months.

Changes - we have changes very often around here. Keeps us on our toes! Sometimes it gets tiring but other times, it helps to jazz things up a bit.

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This is not a new concept. I don't know if it exists in the Western countries or not but I believe it is not unusual in Asian countries. Not common but not unusual either.

But it is something that really bugs me!

Here is how it usually plays out : Baby is born, mother and child go through the traditional confinement month and thereafter, the baby is handed over to a nanny (could be a stranger or a relative) and the mom returns to work. The nanny takes over all care of the baby 5 to 6 days per week - day and night. The new parents only see the baby after work - if at all - and takes the baby home only for the weekends.

I am sure we all know of someone here in Singapore who does that. I personally know of 4 couples!

I feel sad for the baby. Sure, there must be some circumstances that forces one to do this, right?! Is it really true, that one is forced to do this? Or is it a case of wanting everything but not wanting to give up anything?

Can a child ever be close to his parents when this happens? Maybe. You can never underestimate the grace of God, especially in those truly desperate situations. But, in these cases that I know of, none are desperate cases.  It is all a matter of convenience - for the parents, of course.

Does anyone ever asks the child how he feels? Will the child end up always having a sense of rejection and inferiority? Yes, the nanny may love the child very much and care for him as her own but the fact remains that she is not his mother.

There are of course other repercussions - discipline is one big major issue. Does the nanny discipline the child the way you want her to? And if she doesn't, what do you do?

What about the values of the nanny? Are they the same as yours or only similar? We are often told - values are caught, not taught. This simply means that the child will pick up the values of the person he spends the most time with. And we all know how impressionable children are. How much time do these parents spend with the child compared with the nanny? And even then, the time the parents spend with the child is not even in one's own home but the nanny's home.

And for those who farm out their child to the grandparents - grandparents should be able to be grandparents, not parents.

Yes, I am very disturbed by this. Especially since the cases I know of are the result of the mom not wanting to give up their careers or veer off the career path they have planned. Like it or not, parenting causes lifestyle changes. To expect it to progress as though life is the same sans children is childish and selfish - there! I have said it. I have made my judgement even as I told myself not to!  

I am sorry - but why have a child if you are not going to be there for the child? Is one's career so important? Can it not be slowed down, put aside, temporarily, for the sake of one's own child?

Do not tell me that one has to work. There are lots of working moms out there who do not farm out their child in this manner. There are also couples out there who scaled down their financial commitments in order for mom to stay home and be there for the child. We sold off our old home at a loss in order to be debt free. How important is your child's welfare to you?

How can one farm out their child in this manner? A child is not a pet - there for you when you need it and to be put aside when you are busy and tired. Yes, parenting is tiring. And it is a long term commitment.

But what about quality time you may ask - is there such a thing??? It is somethng drummed up by the "experts" to make the working mom feel less guilty. A young child doesn't understand the concept of quality time. But the child understands how it feels to want to tell something to mom and mom is not there.

And to play the emotional card - how does it feel when your child runs to the nanny when he wants comfort instead of to you?

I say again, sure, there may be cases where the situation is dire and mom really cannot handle looking after the children and working and needs to use this arrangement - perhaps being widowed? But by and large the people who choose this option are not in this situation.

And yet I suppose I shouldn't be shocked if more people take up this option. Afterall, we have wombs for rental, why not moms for rent too, eh?  Sigh....

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In case you are wondering how far along I am, I hit Week 13 today! I have installed a pregnancy ticker at the sidebar. It looks like this :

So anytime you feel like asking me how far along I am? Just check it out, ok?  EDD is supposd to be 5th March but I have gone past my EDD the last 3 births so I really wouldn't be holding my breath for the baby to pop on or before its EDD.

Since my oldest has been praying for a baby boy 2 babies ago, he seems convinced that this will be the baby boy he's prayed for. Well, we'll see. And yes, I must find out the gender of my babies. It is stressful enough to come up with a name, especially their Chinese name. Can't imagine having to come up with two names!

And...if you are wondering how I am feeling? The polite answer is, "not good".  You don't really want to know what I think!

And no, please do not tell me to try this and that remedy, ok? Thank you but I have probably tried them all and NOTHING, I mean NOTHING works. It used to be that something would work - at least a day or two. But this time around, ZERO stuff works.

I am just glad that I do not actually throw up. I just feel like throwing up. And you know this cheecky baby of mine? She imitates me when when I make that retching sound and grins! Lol!

I am still nursing her though we are down to 2x/day. Whew! I don't know how other moms do it but I absolutely dislike nursing through a pregnancy. And in case you are wondering, the last 5 babies were conceived while exclusively nursing.

I generally still don't feel like doing anything. But having no choice sorta gets things going. Lol!

Cooking would rate as the worst thing to do. Looking at the raw food and then smelling the cooking fumes! Woah! But the alternative is MSG-laden catered food or MacDonald's. Yucks! Truly stuck between a rock and a hard place. So I cook. At least the kids will eat what I cook. They won't eat catered food.

And like what I shared in my article, Being Frugal - Groceries on Building Up Moms, at this stage, I have given up on Menu Planning. I cook what I think I can stomach but even then, sometimes I can't bear to eat what I have cooked.

But the kids are so thrilled about the baby.  Especially my oldest. He has been diligently praying for a baby since I don't know when. And when I told him he had to help around the house more than he already does, he rose to the challenge. Let's see if this keeps up!

I know having 6 children and being pregnant with the seventh is not at all common and yet I am so thrilled to know 3 other MOMYS who are exactly where I am! Hi Misti, Shyla and Angie! It is nice to be able to complain er.. share our discomforts.

Next up will be my review of my 2 robots!

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Sigh....In the past 10 years as a SAHM I have had countless number of people telling me that I need a maid*. When I had 1 child then and now when I have 6 children. This refrain is repeated ad nauseum! Sigh.

Does it annoy me?

YES!!!

Why do people do that?! And I have noticed that it is people who have a maid who'll tell me to get one! Then in the same breath they would complain about their maid.

I was thinking and thinking about this after a very recent suggestion that I get a maid (like this morning!) and I think I have got it figured out! Haha!

The answer could be this very telling reply I had from a fellow SAHM who has a maid : You need a maid because since I can't handle the children and the household without one, how can you?Meaning : if I, with less children need one, you with a lot more children and younger ones at that, definitely need one.

Hmm...

So is it a case of maidless SAHMs making SAHMs with maids feel bad/inadequate that they need a maid? Would they feel better if we finally get a maid? I hope not coz I am sure that is not the intention of maidless SAHMs.

Would I like to have a maid? Yes and no.

On bad days when the house is in a mess and I am so, so physically tired, Yes! So that I do not have to do the housework and other stuff that I don't like to do - dusting, changing of bedsheets, cleaning the fans, the toilets.....And perhaps the occasional need to run some errands/dr's appointments without 6 small bodies tailing along. An extra pair of hands is definitely helpful. And how nice to just open my mouth and get things done without me having to get off my butt!

But generally, no, coz I really cherish the privacy we have right now. Plus the need to watch out for, manage and care for another person will probably stress me. Even if she is a good helper. But mostly, I like not having to look over my shoulder all the time, being able to leave money and other valuables around. Even having my parents or ils over at my place when I want to rest makes me feel awkward. Can't imagine having a stranger in the house all the time!

Will I never get a maid? Well, I have learnt to never say never! We may have to one day. Like if I ever get blessed with twins  or have elderly or sick parents/parents-in-laws stay with us.

But I tell you what I am planning to get to ease the workload (besides training the children to be helpers in the home), I am getting the....Roomba and the Scooba from iRobot!!!   Now these can be my maids and I don't have to bother about them intruding my privacy!  I told dh that if they work out, they would be better value for money than a once-a-week part timer cleaner since they can be used daily! Ok - so I still have to dust and wash the toilets but hey! that'll be a fraction of what I do around here!

And do you know what I would really like? A cook! Yes! A live-in personal cook would be my idea of bliss! Imagine just turning up at the meal times and having healthy, yummy meals all prepared for you. Every meal, every day. Heaven!!!

Edited : No, I made a mistake, I don't want a live-in cook either! Lol! I just want a personal chef that'll come, whip up delicious meals and leave - 3x a day!

* maids - This for you US and Australian moms In Singapore (like the other SE Asian countries), a live-in maid is relatively cheap. And so, it has become very common to have a maid in the home. When one doesn't have one, one is looked upon with either admiration or as if you have 3 heads on you.  It is as though one's household cannot function without a live-in maid. But there are households without maids even WOHM households.

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Recently there was a spate of articles in the Straits Times about parents spending huge amounts of money to make sure their child/ren are kept ahead of the pack. I already wrote briefly about this on Of Babies and Tuition.

In case it wasn't clear in that post, let me state again - I certainly do not believe in hothousing our children.

BUT

I believe in encouraging them to do the best they can and will not hold them back if I can help it;.

Why do I say that? My oldest read very early. He read "milk" to me at the grocery store one day when he was barely 21 months old. And most of our children are able to hold a pencil and write simple letters by the time they are 2.

Does that mean I was/am hothousing them??? NOPE! They learnt what they learnt through our daily life and through their playing with each other.

When I mentioned that most could hold a pencil and make lines that became letters  the person I was speaking to was shocked. And when I said, "No, I am not hothousing them", the person replied, "You're not?" sceptically.

Oh please! I have 6 children, 10 and under. I need to cook, homeschool the older ones, keep the younger ones out of trouble and clean the house. Do you think I have time to hothouse them even if I wanted to???

I don't hold back the children. This is what I'll say. If they show interest in reading, and I am able to give them simple 10 minute lessons on phonics, I do it. If they are interested in counting and matching numbers to the things they count, I buy them simple number matching "workbooks" from Popular and let them play with it.

If they get it wrong, they get it wrong. If they get it right, good for them. They have progressed with no stress on either them or me. But this is not hothousing lah!

There - I have gotten this outoff of my chest!

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Yep the baby of the family has turned one!

Our family tradition is to throw a Thanksgiving Birthday Party when the baby turns one, to give thanks to God for watching over the little one in his/her 1st year of life. We did this when we had our 1st born more than 10years ago. It is not your normal birthday party. So, no, no balloon sculptors or magicians

It is actually a simple affair with the main focus on giving thanks and glory to God. It is also a time to fellowship with friends and relatives who have supported us in prayer and gifts and love the past year.

The 1st year of a child's life is often fraught with excitement and anxiety. The entire family has to adjust to the baby and depending on the baby's personality (high need? low maintenance?) it can be a long or short period of adjustment. And then if the baby should fall ill in his/her 1st year of life, it is again worrying since the immune system of a baby is underdeveloped and complications can occur due to a simple infection.

This time round, with the children being older, we could involve them more. We started the programme with a worship session led by dh, with ds#1 on guitar, dd#1 on vvocals & ds#2 as the powerpint "operator"! Dh also got ds#1 and dd#1 to present a song that dh had written some tears before. Dh & I had to give our "speeches" as well.

So as I prepared the night before for my "speech" - something dh has insisted that I do the last 2 parties  - this is what I wrote.

Hebrews 13:5 - 6.

For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
So we may boldly say : “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?”

As I look back on the past year, I can only say THANK YOU LORD for your mercy and grace. And Lord, I sure need more of it in the years to come!

The Surreal Birth

In order to start this right, I think we need to start with Deborah’s very unorthodox and very exciting birth story. One that will be very hard to forget! Deborah was birthed not in a hospital delivery suite but in the hallway of the hospital’s 24 hr clinic! If you want more details of the birth, do check out my website at www.BuildingUpMoms.com under Pregnancy & Labour.

Suffice to say that the birth was and is a great testimony of how great and good our God is. When I was told that my gynae was going off for his holiday on 7^th June 2007, God gave me Hebrews 13:5-6 which says, For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we may boldly say : “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?”

And truly He was my helper. God was my midwife, my gynae. He was indeed my Helper. If I had to do this again, I wouldn’t change a thing! And for those who are curious, I still had to pay delivery fees to my gynae who was not there.

In Thanksgiving

Besides the awesome, supernatural birth, I have many things to be thankful for as I look back.

1.     For God who was truly my Helper

2.    For my dh who has helped every time he is available even when he has tons of work that needed to be done (This is the 1^st time he actually took the entire month off to help me during my confinement!)

3.    For the children who have been such great help and who have matured nicely the past year.

a)    Ds#1 has been a great help in carrying the baby when I am busy.

b)   Dd#1 has been a help in entertaining the baby especially on long car rides.

c)    Ds#2 is extremely patient with the baby and is willing to look after her for long periods of time without complaining.

d)   Dd#2 is very helpful in making sure the bb doesn’t fall off the bed if I need to take a quick shower.

e)    Dd#3 is quick to bring toys and books to the bb the moment she hears her crying. She’s also very quick to offer me to her!

f)     And they are all very good at following the bb up and down the stairs to make sure she doesn’t topple over.

4.    For grandparents who helped to cook, bring food, entertain and watch the children when we had to go for doctor checkups.

5.    For friends who cooked for us again and again and again.... Brother Andrew and Aunty Helen (who cannot come today) we love your food and are extremely grateful that we get fed when mama is too tired to cook.

6.    For friends who prayed for us

7.    For friends who listened to me vent and complain when the going got tough

The Adjustments

There has been many, many adjustments to make as we grew from 5 to 6 children.  Going from 1 to 2 children is often a shock to the system, right? From 2 to 3, you sorta get a hang of it and then from 3 to 4, you think – hey! This is easy. Then...going from 5 to 6 ... woah! We are truly, truly outnumbered! And this is when we need the older ones, even the 2 year old back then, to be helpers. And praise God, they really rose up to the challenge.

Yet despite all that, everyone has had to adjust. There is one more person to look out for, to think of. But I think dh and I had to adjust the most! Going out with them always presents interesting challenges.

Many things had to slow down or come to a standstill the past year. Ministry commitments, school even housework had to take a back seat at times. But throughout it all, the presence of the Lord was palpable.

Who else can we go to for wisdom and counsel but Him, our Helper. As we struggled and cried and fought in the past year to adjust, God has been an ever present Help.

Thank you for giving me an opportunity to share and give a testimony to His goodness and faithfulness.

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Of course I didn't follow my script exactly  But the points were covered and we all had a great time. The bb fell asleep during the most crucial moment - the cake cutting! But hey! at least she didn't cry, right? Lol! She did have much fun crawling all over the floor (yucks I know!) and bestowing her smile on her chosen ones.

I'll try to see if I can post some photos up here. But my general rule is to not post any photos on either blog or website since I value our privacy.

God is good!

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It's been almost 3 weeks since my last posting, just before we went off for a church camp at Desaru, Malaysia, courtesy of Singapore Christian Canaan Church!

The camp was great! The people of the church were very warm and friendly. We had a great time there! We spent 4 days and 3 nites at The Pulai, Desaru Beach. We did not venture out to check out the beaches or any tourist attraction since this was basically a working holiday for us.

The only downside to the trip was the awful spread of food available! You know how one usually puts on weight after a break of sorts? Well, the younger kids and I certainly didn't! Everything was spicy. The only non-spicy stuff were soup and bread and a fish dish which was cooked in the same way every lunch and dinner! The only variation was the gravy/sauce poured over it!

The lack of food unfortunately contributed to a milk supply dip! The baby was definitely not pleased and she didn't like the fish either! Lol!

We were given a huge loft bedroom, a 2-storey room. The downside of this is that the stairs connecting the 2 levels were rather erm...basic?! Check out this photo of the rooms. Our loft is similar to the picture on the extreme left. See the stairs? It had "holes" in them and the railings of the banister were like one metre apart! Highly stressful for me since we have a crawling baby who love stairs!

But the kids had a blast sleeping together downstairs while dh, the baby and I slept upstairs. The group had organised a durian/fruit farm tour which I unfortunately had to miss in view of a tired 3yr old and the baby. And I also had to miss out on the seafood dinner!!!  

But it worked out well since the durian farm tour took place at the peak of the noonday sun and lasted 1 whole hour! And the seafood dinner though yummy to me, did not appeal to the younger ones. Also, the dinner didn't end till past 9pm and by the time dh and the older ones returned it was past 10pm and everyone was so so tired. Those who stayed behind with me had a treat though! I brought them to the brand new playground and we ended the day with a bubble bath in the hotel room! The older ones were so envious!

Despite all the fun we had, it was not a real  holiday. Dh had to work hard, he preached 5 sessions over the 4-day camp. We all sat through the teachings* and had our little break in the afternoons when dh was free. But it was a break from our usual routine and was great for memory making!

It was also our 1st road trip as a family! You American moms can stop laughing at us. Singapore is so small that our usual car ride is at most 30minutes long. So any car ride over that time frame is considered long! Driving to Desaru from our home took us almost 3hrs due to the bad congestion at the border (we took the Tuas link). But coming back via the Causeway link was a breeze. The journey was under 2hrs!

The children behaved tremendously well considering this is their maiden car trip, even the baby. She only cried when we were stuck at the border congestion for 40minutes. After I nursed her, she went right back to her carseat and dozed off.

The success of this trip has made me more confident of taking longer drives up to Malaysia for future holidays.

But upon coming back, I spent 4 days clearing laundry by the loads! Thankfully, God granted us great weather so the clothes dried pretty fast. Since we went by car this time round, we had to be economical in our packing. Our Honda Stream has a miniscule boot space so we brought the bare minimum only. And this helped me when we returned home. Much easier to unpack and laundry was a much lighter load.

All in all, it was fun and the 3yr old is still praying every night, "Dear God, thank you for bringing me to Desaru."  Amen I say!

* The older 2 were required to sit and listen to daddy preached while I brought along activity books for the the younger ones to occupy them.

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The 3 yr old still drops certain consonants when she speaks. Consonants like "S" and "K", "C" and she still can't pronounce her "F", coming out as a "P" sound. So when she speaks to me when I am not fully paying attention, I often do not know what she's saying.

Just a moment ago, she asked me for the black remote control (that's the one for the TV). I could only catch the word, "black. The other 2 words were alien to me!  I made her say it three times and I could sense her growing frustration. But I still couldn't figure it out!

So I called for reinforcements! I turned her to face her group of siblings (ya we have a GROUP of siblings here!) and asked her to repeat what she said to me. Amazingly, dd#2 figured it out.

"She wants the black REMOTE CONTROL, mom!" Ahhhhhh! Black remote control - right!

And then I burst out laughing. It suddenly dawned upon me that it was very funny that I often need a sibling to de-code unclear toddler-speak.

Now what would I do without all my other children, eh?

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I know I am biased but our 6th blessing is really a cutie pie! Ok - when she's not bawling in my ear or waking up countless times in the middle of the night!

But it is amazing how she is able to charm the whole family with her antics and her totally cheeky grins. No matter how annoying she has been, her siblings adore her to bits. Every night, each will give thanks to the Lord that she is "very cute".

Someone with one child would tend to assume that by the time one has her 3rd or 4th or in our case, the 6th baby, mom and dad gets a bit jaded. But I can honestly tell you that it is not the case. Truly the person who said "love multiplies" is a wise one indeed.

I just can't help melting at her first smile, her first chuckle, her first everything! It still amazes me that the antics the 6th child gets up to can still make us smile as though she's our first.

Dh is similarly charmed. The moment she hears his keys jangling at the door, she drops everything and crawls to him and woe to him should he not acknowledge her presence immediately. She would protest loudly till he picks her up. And then she'd beam - triumphantly. Too cute!

Yes, having a large family is tiring and it would seemingly be easier if we had stopped at 2 children. But then I think of all the joy and sweetness we would have missed out on! Now if only the baby will sleep through the night.....................

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Oh man! To be sick is bad enough but to be sick with sick young children is totally not a good combination!

And I don't even know where and how we caught this bug!

I was the first one to be hit - had raging high fever the whole of Saturday nite and Sunday. I was alternating between cold and hot. And the body aches I had were so painful it was an agony nursing the baby in bed. And I kept dozing off through out the day. I lived for when the baby napped so that I could crash out too. Otherwise I drifted in and out of consciousness.

Thankfully the children have been well taught to be very independent so that when I manage to rouse myself from the stupor, the house wasn't thrashed.

Then on Monday, the 2 younger ones got hit. The suddeness onset of the fever was what really shocked me. One moment the 3 year old was jumping over me and singing and then shortly after, she started becoming very listless and by lunch, she had a high fever of 39.2. And then she threw up....twice.

Thankfully dh was around and he could help to clean up while I kept the baby away from the mess. (The last time this happened, I had to deal with a screaming baby who wanted to crawl to me while I was cleaning up vomit - not pleasant at all!). She then promptly fell asleep on the sofa.

The baby then went to take her afternoon nap while I crashed out again. But then when she woke up, she had a high fever too! 38.5!

I was like - huh? How come they were well one minute and totally wiped out the next? It was scary.

Then came more drama - she threw up on me 4 times! She wasn't crying or coughing. She was being carried in my arms. She popped out her thumb, turned her face and threw up copious amount of milk and part of her lunch. We got her changed and then she threw up again and again and again! It was really scary. But the thing was she was totally unfazed by it all.

It was already 7pm when the drama happened. Our paed does not run a night clinic. So we called him to ask if we should go and check into the A & E department or just wait till the morning to see him. He told us that unless there is blood in her stools or bile in her vomit then we could wait till the morning to see him. The worry was dehydration with all that throwing up. In that case, she needed to be warded and be put on a drip.

Oh man! I did not want that!

So we prayed and I sms-ed our prayer warriors to pray for us.

Amazingly, the baby's fever cleared with no medication within an hour's time! And the 3 year old's fever was brought under control thru nurofen.

More drama - Wednesday, #3 was hit. Again, the fever was high, 39.2. And on Thursday, #2 was next. And again, her fever hit 39 degrees. And when she woke up this morning, Friday, she threw up 4 times. Thankfully, she threw up in the toilet and not in bed!

It has been a long tiring week.

Most of us are on the road to recovery - I hope! And I pray that the bug stops here! A friend said that she had a bug go round and round the kids for 3 weeks! Yikes!

I really thank God that dh has been able to be around for us all this week. Otherwise, it'd really be a Herculean task trying to function alone with kids falling sick left, right and centre!

Thank you saints for praying for us. It is really appreciated!!!

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Articles for the Christian SAHM can be found at :

www.BuildingUpMoms.com

Incident #1

Tuesday afternoon, the older 3 followed daddy to the supermarket. The younger 2 were napping and so I was left with a very chatty 4.5year old.

She started asking all sorts of questions about mammals (our science topic this week) and when she'd finished her long list of questions she proceeded to put her box of books back on her bookshelf. However, she was frustrated with a file that kept falling over into the space where her box was to be placed. She tried to hold the file upright with one arm and shove her box in with the other but the box was too heavy for her. She sighed.

I stood at the side of the room watching her, wondering what she was going to do and if she was going to burst into tears in frustration. She turned to me and said, "Mama, I need help. I just need someone to hold the file for me and I can put the box in."

So I went to help her. As she was pushing her box in, she turns to me with a bright smile and said, "God gives us ideas!"

Hilarious!

Incident #2

Then when it was her turn to take her afternoon rest, she turns to me and asked, "Mama why is it this way? Why did D comes 1st and then S and then A and then me?

"Coz God choose you to be #4 that's why." I said with a smile.

"Chose," she corrected me and skipped away happily to take her rest.

Ah! She's been paying attention to those grammar lessons we've been doing in school!

This is the same sweet child who told me solemnly one night after her nighttime prayers, "Mama, when I grow up, I want to be a Christian just like you." When I told her that she need not be grown up to be a Christian, her eyes widened in amazement. And so, I led her to a prayer of salvation.

Ahh!!! I live for these moments. I am just so blessed to be able to be there to witness them and most of all, lead them into the Kingdom.

Actually, I have been super blessed to have been there to say that special prayer of salvation with the 4 older children. I don't ever take it for granted that just coz I am home with them, I'll naturally be the one who gets the privilege. I am sure daddy is eating his heart out on this one!

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Articles for the Christian SAHM can be found at :

www.BuildingUpMoms.com

Child #5 did it AGAIN!

A few months ago, as a 2.5yr old toddler, she locked herself in the bedroom during nap time. Today, now 3, she locked herself in the toilet after doing her big business!

Sigh.

Things are never boring around here.

The thing was I was nursing the baby when she locked herself in this time. I heard lots of screaming and "Oh no!"s from my oldest (I was nursing the baby in the master bedroom) and my heart sank. After being a mom for a long time  you sorta know when a scream means blood and gore (serious) and when a scream is just an annoyance (just ignore).

Well, this was a serious kind of scream. I quickly unlatched the baby and ran downstairs. The little miss was truly stuck in the toilet.

Just get the spare keys you may be thinking, right? Well, our toilets have sliding doors. And the sliding doors have locks that come WITHOUT keys!!!

God certainly has equipped me to handle her antics. All the other children were gathered at the door to watch the show. Calmly, I told her to get on to the stool and push the button DOWN.

Click!

Ahh!!! The sweet sound of freedom!!! And so, she was released, with tears streaming down her cheeks and a messy bottom!  

The last time she locked herself in the bedroom, we couldn't find the spare set of keys coz we had hidden them so well!

As with today, the little miss was able to obey my instructions to get on a stool (yes, we have stools in every room) and turn the door knob and release herself without the required key.

Frustrating as it all was, I thank God for watching over her. And that she is able to take my instructions well. And it sure helps that God gives me an extra dose of calmness whenever such crisis arises

On a lighter note, this little miss at 3 years old surprised me yesterday when she spelt her name for me! She wanted me to write down her name on her notebook and just to tease her, I said I didn't know how to spell it. I asked her to spell it for me. And she did!

She did it three times! So it wasn't a fluke shot. Ok, so it helps that her name is a short one and not something like Nebuchanedzzer but hey! It was pretty amazing to me since I have not been consciously doing anything schoolish with her until last week!

So don't underestimate your little ones. They can lock and un-lock doors and spell their names - all without formal teaching! Haha!

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Articles for the Christian SAHM can be found at :

www.BuildingUpMoms.com

Talking to a toddler is often amusing and frustrating all at once.  

They really say the cutest things at times but struggling to understand that words can sometimes cause both them and me to be highly frustrated.

Example #1

Last nite, the 3 year old says to me on the way up to bed,

R : Mama, I cannot hold your hand
Me : Why? (She always insists that I have to hold her hand going up the stairs when it is nap or bed time)

R : Coz I need to hold that brown thing
Me : What brown thing?

R : That one - pointing to the banister
Me : Oh! That's called the banister.

R : Banister?
Me : Yes. (And grins happily at me)

Today, I teased her about that brown thing coz she'd forgotten the word. When I reminded her of it, she said "That's what E (older sister) said."

Now let's see if she remembers it tomorrow!

Example #2

Up to a certain age, my children can't pronouce the "F" sound. It comes out as a "P" sound. So going through the basic letter sounds are very hilarious.

The lesson goes like this -

Shows her letter F and asks her what it says. She says "fff" for "pire". Lol! (Er...it's fire for those of you who did not get it! )

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For more serious stuff, check out my website at :

www.BuildingUpMoms.com

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Over the last weekend, our family of 8 travelled to Bintan for a short break. This is the first time we travelled with 6 children in tow. One of which is a crawling baby!

On hindsight, we should have travelled before the baby could crawl or after she could walk! Preventing her from wanting to go explore the floors everywhere was sure tiring!  The last time we travelled was as a family of 5 and I was 8 months pregnant with #6. That was less tiring for me!

But the children sure had a blast. One told the granparents that it was a "very, very, very, very good holiday!"  And they all loved looking at the photos taken.

This trip was a sudden impulse thing. And we are so blessed that the moment we decided on it, we were blessed with funds to go. For those whose dhs are NS men, you may consider booking your trips through SAFRA. We had a good deal this time round.

The villa we booked had 3 bedrooms, and came with 1 double bed, 2 single beds and 3 extra mattresses! It also had a fully functioning kitchen with cutlery and even dishwashing liquid!  I add this coz the last time we went to Bintan, we stayed at a villa owned by NTUC* and I'd to bring my own dishwashing liquid along!

If you are wondering how we prepared for the trip for 6 children and 2 adults, see Going For A Vacation at Building Up Moms.

* If you are a NTUC policyholder, you can book certain resorts at a greatly discounted price.

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Articles for Christian SAHMs can be found at :

www.BuildingUpMoms.com

A mom on an email loop commented that the behaviour of her friends' children were less than desirable. And she'd linked it to the fact that the moms were all working moms.   Perhaps there are some of us who feel this way too when we look at other people's children's behaviour. It is always easy to judge others. But oh! Please be very careful! We really don't know what each family is struggling with and the difficulties they may be facing. It is easy to judge by what we see.

These are my thoughts :

You know - it really is not whether one stays home or not that determine how the children turn out.

For every so-called good and well-behaved child a SAHM produces I am sure someone can provide an equally good and well-behaved child that came from a WOHM family

If you stay home only to produce good and well-behaved children, I think your focus is off 

There is honestly no guarantee that a sahm WILL produce a good child and a wohm a badly behaved child.

Both sahms and wohms have their own struggles, albeit different ones. We choose which struggles we want to put up with

At the end of the day, let's not forget that each child is his own person and will make his own decision no matter what you have taught him. We just pray that what we, as moms (working or not), have taught will stick in their minds and influence their decisions. And that they will not make a decision based on rebellion!

Ah!!! Do you have one of these?

Always wanting to do what ever the older ones are doing and always insisting that "I can do it! I can do it!" Bursts into tears when you "help" her with the task on hand? She used to walk herself back to the house and walk out again when we carried her out. Ditto putting on the car seat belt! Drove me nuts especially when we are in a hurry!

Well, guess what? We've had more than one of those! So I should be used to it by now, right?!

Today's incident was rather yucky though.  The latest one in potty training proclaims loudly, "I am going to pee pee!" and marches of to the loo. This is pretty much a normal occurence here. I find it really amusing that they need to proclaim to us everytime they need go to relieve themselves. They would even wake us up to tell us that they need to go move their bowels early in the morning!

Well, back to the latest incident. As I left her to pee and wipe up after herself, I went upstairs to shower. She usually knows how to leave the potty alone till I empty it of its contents. Imagine my surprise when I went to empty the potty but found it empty! And there were puddles of liquid on the floor..............

I calmly called for her and we had this conversation :

Me : Didn't you say you needed to pee?
R : Yes
Me : But why is there no pee pee in the potty?
R : Oh! I poured it into the toilet!
Me : Oh - Thank you but next time, just leave it, ok?
R : Ok! (And happily walks off to play!)

I quickly went to do a quick rinse and wash of the toilet! Ah! The things children get up to!

Later on, big brother came up to me and asked - "Mom, did you wash the toilet?" Lol! When I said "yes", he heaved a sigh of relief.

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Articles for the Christian SAHM can be found at :
www.BuildingUpMoms.com

From January to August, we have a birthday every month, except for the month of March. And we have 2 birthdays in the month of May!  

March is not a birthday month but it is a wedding anniversary month!

So we are kept busy (and fat!) feasting with special meals and eating lots of cakes!

Now that's something someone with 1 child cannot boast of, eh? Lol!

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Articles for the Christian SAHM can be found at :
www.BuildingUpMoms.com

Recently on a local email loop I am on, there was a discussion by mothers on how involved live-in helpers should be with the care of their children. It was interesting to listen in to the discussion since I never had a live-in maid.

I know of some SAHM friends who tell their helpers to concern themselves only with household chores. Only in extreme circumstances would they allow their helpers to handle their child/ren. But on this discussion thread, these ladies were saying that they only concern themselves with playing with their children. Feeding, bathing, cleaning up after the children were not part of the deal for these moms.

I must qualify that most of these moms are working fulltime or part time. Please, I write this not to say that they are wrong. Obviously I do not agree with what they are doing but I won't go around telling them that they are wrong. (Working moms have their own struggles.)  Then what's my point, right?

My point is this - what jumped out to me was that it is clear that we see bathing, feeding, cleaning up after the children as something less important than playing with the kids.That's why we are able to farm them out to others.

But to me, bathing, feeding, cleaning up their messes is part of the deal of motherhood! So is waking up numerous times in the middle of the night.  

I know that when time is an issue (especially if you are a WOHM) then you need to prioritise. Play seems to be of most importance to most of us because we want to be fun parents. So the mundane stuff gets tossed aside.

Bathing, feeding, waking up in the middle of the night, and yes - even cleaning up yucky bodily fluids - do help us to bond with our children. They see that we care. They see that we are willing to help them out. It is not something they have to turn to "Aunty" to for help. Things that we do for our children, day-in-day-out is what becomes a familiar and comforting ritual to our young children. Remember, they are creatures of habit.

They also internalise, unconsciously, that these are things a mom does for their children. So that when they grow up, they will not think that these duties belong to the maids and helpers and would (hopefully!) be willing to do the same for their own children. 

I know someone who told the mom, "Mom, I am not the maid!" when told to wipe the table!  I would not want my children to say that should I ask them to help feed their younger siblings or clean up the mess a younger child has made.

Life is full of boring, mundane, inconvenient stuff we need to do. Parenting seems to magnify these stuff a million times. So are you going to do it or are you only going to be the fun-don't bother-me-with-the-mundane-stuff  type of parent?

As an aside, I recommend that you read Sacred Parenting by Gary Thomas*. It is a great book on how parenting moulds and brings us closer to God but not in the usual way you would think!

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(*) Sacred Parenting: How Raising Children Shapes Our Souls
By Gary L. Thomas / Zondervan

Instead of the typical instruction manual on child rearing, Thomas's inspiring and affirming book demonstrates how God uses kids to profoundly change their parents. Through scriptural insights and encouraging real-life stories, you'll learn how others handled difficulties and challenges---and how it transformed their walk with God. Discover the spiritual potential in your parent-child relationships! 231 pages, softcover from Zondervan.

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Articles for the Christian SAHM can be found at :
www.BuildingUpMoms.com

It's just a few more days and it'll be the end of 2007. Scary!

What are your resolutions for the new year? Many? A few? None?  When I was younger, I used to list out many resolutions and then as I grew older (and more cynical I should add.  ) I would whittle down my list to just 1 or 2 and then as more respobnsibilties came, by way of becoming a wife and mom, I didn't even bother to make any resolutions. Why bother? was my thinking? Such a futile exercise - right?!

But I have come to realise that without a goal in mind, there isn't any standard to measure how a year had been.You know that saying don't you? Aim for nothing and you'll hit it everytime!  

All of us need to take stock of our lives once in a while. Instead of just going with the flow (in a laid back, passive way) and then grumbling about the state of affairs, we should instead reflect on the past year, think about how we can make the coming year a better one and then ACT on it.

Yes, ACT on it. In order to better the circumstances we are under, we need a plan and then we need to ACT on it. New year resolutions are an exercise in futility only if we set up the resolutions only to ignore it. And to be realistic, focus on maybe 3 resolutions at most.

May I suggest that regardless of what your other 2 resolutions are, you should set one of your resolutions (the 1st and most important resolution) to put God first. After all, as I was reminded when we did the book of Ecclesiastes a few weeks back, that :

"here is the conclusion of the matter :
Fear God and keep His commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man."
Eccl 12:13

Otherwise, everything is as the Teacher says :

"Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher. Everything is meaningless!" Eccl 12:8

In case you are wondering, what are my resolutions?

1. Fear God because :

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, 
And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. Prov 9:10

and I sure need wisdom to parent these 6 blessings of ours!

2. Be more organised
This includes setting up systems to help me think less.

If you are also interested in this, there are loads of planners out there to help you. From menu planners to household chores planners. The list is never-ending. You can choose free planners from these websites :

http://avirtuouswoman.org/2005/11/29/household-notebook/
http://flylady.net/pages/cjmain.asp
http://organizedhome.com/printable-planner-forms
http://www.donnayoung.org/household/
http://www.kristensguide.com/Printables/index.asp

Or you could buy planners like these :
Spring Fabulous Household Forms by Heidi Jo Kemp
Practical Homemaking ePlanner
Let's Get Organized by Cindy Rushton
Make Your Own Brain-In-A-Binder Planning Printables by Cindy Rushton
Mom's Mini Planner or Mom's Chore Organizer both by Homeschool With Index Card

Remember these are tools that help to run our household more efficiently. You don't have to follow everything they lay out for you. Don't feel like spending any money? Let me give you another perspective - buying these planners (only if you do not like the free ones out there) is way cheaper than living in chaos or having to pay someone else to do it for you because you are too disorganised. Besides, I'd rather pay myself the money I would have to pay the cleaners!

And just like homeschooling planners, I usually DIY my own planners but for 2008, I decided to splurge and invest in a beautiful Housekeeping Journal called Yearbook for the Homekeeper 2008 from www.MarmeeDear.com. Yes, it is awfully expensive! But if it helps me to be more organised, I think it will be worth it. I will let you know how it performs for me!

3. Enjoy my children
This includes disciplining and discipling them so that they can be enjoyed and not endured!  

Children are blessings from God but if we do not train them up in the way they should go, they will most certainly be a nuisance not just to us but to those around us.

As we plod on our mothering journey and it seems never-ending, I leave you with

Galatians 6:9
And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

Let's us not lose heart as we change the umpteenth diaper, wipe up the mess, cook yet another meal and wash another yucky toilet! Remember :

And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ
Colossians 3:23-24

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Articles for the Christian SAHM can be found at :
www.BuildingUpMoms.com