Yet another rant...

Why do people ask for advise but refuse to take them?!

I'll let it pass once, twice, maybe even three times, but consistently so??? I get annoyed. If you don't trust my judgement and advice, then why ask me???

I am not saying I know everything or I am always right, but really, if you don't like what I say, disagree with my philosophy of life, then why ask?

Strange.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Articles for Christian SAHMs can be found at :

www.BuildingUpMoms.com

Here we go again. There's been a huge discussion about using the cane on children over at the Asiaparents list. Every once in a while, this discussion comes up, as do the discussion on sleep training.

You'll hear the same arguments put forth by the same people unless they have left the group. Over and over, these hot topics keep coming up. Over and over the same points put forth.

In the beginning I used to put in my few words and cross swords with those who oppose using the cane and sleep training. After being on the list for many years (5? 6? I don't remember) I have learnt not to bother. It takes up too much of my effort to craft and write my response.

There is truly a wealth of information out there and if these parents are truly at their wits end over how to discipline their children, they can do their own research and come to their own conclusion.

I almost succumbed this time though.

Someone mentioned that they would cane the child if the child didn't get his schoolwork, like spelling!  I am all for biblical chastisement but vehemently disagree with using the cane to help the child learn!

Please! Use the cane for disobedience, not for schoolwork!

Then someone else mentioned that the cane worked when the kid is young and then fail when the kid grows up. Of course it fails by then. By the time the child is 8, the cane should be used very sparingly, if had at all.

There was also mention of the cane or any corporal punishment causing a rift between the parent and child due to the fear it creates. I personally believe that the cane administered correctly does not do that. Our children are afraid of the cane, not of me. And only when they have done something disobedient.

Look - they even use the cane as a "horse", riding it all over the house or brandishing it as swords!  

Our relationship has its ups and downs, as with all relationships between inperfect, sinful people. But my children are always free to tell me if they feel they have been unfairly treated. There was once they "ganged up" to tell me that I am as fierce as a tiger or a dragon. That my angry words are like the fire the dragon spews forth (this comes from watching too much Shrek, I tell you!). It was very funny.

They were most puzzled when I burst out laughing coz they thought that I may be upset with them. But I thought it was cool that they could tell me such things.

So no, I disagree with all the bad stuff associated with the cane BUT with a disclaimer. Use it CORRECTLY. Don't use it over every small little thing (like sleep or homework!) and never in anger. The child is a child. You are the adult. Learn self-control. Stop blaming everything around you.

Those against the use of the cane (and sleep training) can be very persuasive. But I stand my ground. I believe in both and have seen postive results in our children.

PS : Do note that this is my opinion on my blog. You are free to disagree but please don't be rude. And I still reserve the right to delete your comments.  

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Articles for the Christian SAHM can be found at :

www.BuildingUpMoms.com

Hmmm....this competitive rat race is getting ridiculous. Everytime I hear of parents drilling their babies with flash cards ala Glen Doman or some other gifted programme, I feel sad for the babies.

Why can't we let babies BE babies? Flashing cards at them at 2months? Better still, I just read that someone is letting their 9 month old baby watch a video to learn numbers?!

Are we really that desperate to get our children ahead of the crowd?

Which brings me to the issue of tuition* in Singapore. When I was growing up (erm...I am not that old, ok?  ) tuition is something that only the weaker students had to keep up with school work. It was viewed as an embarrassment that one needed tuition.

But nowadays, the tuition industry is alive and buzzing (some earn up to $20K per month, according to a Sunday Times report last week). It is the norm to have tuition. And one is considered weird or probably poor if one didn't have a whole slew of tuition/enrichment classes to attend.

From being viewed as something to be avoided at all costs, tuition is now seen as a MUST HAVE item or one would fail. Sad isn't it?

So since every kid is going to be needing tuition and/or enrichment  by the age of 6 or 7, shouldn't you let your baby at least enjoy his/her babyhood?

* In the Singapore context, tuition refers to extra paid classes conducted either by a private tutor in a one-to-one or group scenario.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Articles for the Christian SAHM can be found at :

www.BuildingUpMoms.com

Everyone knows that the cost of everything is going up! From rice to coffee and now, electricity. So everyone is obviously trying to cut down unnecessary expenses.

So it is with great interest (and slight horror I must admit!) that I read in today's Sunday Times' article :Power hikes : Low-income families to feel pinch most that a 4-member family can have utility bills of up to $400 a month! And these are families living in 4- or 5-bedroom flats!

And then comes the next bombshell - all these families have more than one tv in the home.

One  family profiled owned 4 tvs while another had 3! And get this - the TVs are swtiched on up to 9 - 10hours A DAY!!!

Oh wow!

Computers left on I can understand since you don't really want to keep switching it on and off. But TVs?! And it is reported that all 4 TVs are turned on a the same time if the children are home. That means probably a TV in each room.

Oh wow!

Btw our family of 8 has a utility bill of an average of $180 t0 $200 per month, depending on whether it is cool or hot weather. I would love to be able to cut down to $150 per month though.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Articles for the Christian SAHM can be found at :

www.BuildingUpMoms.com

Straits Times, 15th March 2008, "Wooing women back to work", Insight, S8

A recent government survey found that one in three women mid-lifers has never held a job and the 2007 Report on Singapore's Labour Force identifies 3 main reasons.

They are : housework, poor health and raising children.

Few will dispute the merit of staying home to care for the children and home

But, as sociologist Jennifer Jarman from the National University of Singapore puts it : "The question that many will have to answer is whether the financial, social and personal rewards for working outweigh the costs of that kind of work."

************************************************************************************

Hmm......what does that say to you? Well, it got me worked up again lah!

That kind of work vs financial, social and personal rewards.

Is that all it boils down to? Ahh!!! Here we go, worldy wisdom again!

That kind of work is raising souls for eternity, that kind of work impacts future generations and in turn, the state of the world depends on that kind of work. Grrr..............

Then in Sunday Times, the next day, there was an advertisement by the National Family Council titled, "The best of both worlds". It tells women how it is "possible to have the best of both worlds at home and the workplace".

Their solution is one where everyone work their way around you and your needs so that YOU can have the best of both worlds! The sub-head reads "A supportive husband and an understanding boss allow Madam xxx to enjoy both motherhood and a fulfilling career".

Let's get real here - can we really have the best of both worlds all the time? Maybe for a season but all the time?

Coz ultimately something has to go. Now who or what is it that has to let that something go? Husband? Children? Grandparents? High powered career path? Spiritual health?

Obviously, this is my very opiniated opinion  - it is not possible to have your cake and eat it all the time. You may pull it off for a period of time but it is not sustainable. Someone/something will suffer. The superwoman myth is just that - a myth.

Back to the question posed by the sociologist -

Have YOU, dear SAHM, done your sums, so to speak and concluded that it IS worth it to give up the financial, social and personal rewards for that kind of work that you are doing now?

On some days I am not sure! Especially when there are whiney and sick babies to tend to and a temper tantrum throwing child to discipline and train.

But Yes, it IS worth it to me. I do not want to give that kind of work up to get the so-called financial, social and personal, rewards that the world has to offer. Thanks but no thanks!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Articles for the Christian SAHM can be found at :

www.BuildingUpMoms.com

Yet another high profile, crusader of family values leader was caught with his pants down!

Last week, Eliot Spitzer was found out to have paid for the services of a high class call girl. It was especially embarrassing for him since he had been targeting prostition rings during his reign as governor of New York.

Some months/years?! back there was a another high profile case of a church leader who was found out to have been leading a closet homosexual life while publicly denouncing it.

What does one make of it?

Were they set up by their enemies? Were they just making a stand for morality publicly to win voters and look good?

I don't know. But I do know that all of us are really just one step away from the edge when we toy with sin.

Romans 3:23
"for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God".

This scenario brought to mind the three common sins that snare great men and women, even godly men and women : girls (sexual sin), glory and greed.

I remember reading about this in John Crowder's book, Miracle Workers, Reformers and the New Mystics. He'd mentioned that these great men and women of God who walked so closely with God and were allowed the privilege of being God's vessel moving in great signs and wonders, were not immune to these sins either.

Speaking of The New Mystics (Crowder uses this term to refer to Godly people performing powerful signs and wonders as the apostles did), after I read the book, I was left wondering if only unmarried and childless men and women of God are allowed that kind of privilege of moving in signs and wonders. Afterall, one can only received that kind of power after long, long hours of communion with God. Now how is one supposed to have long hours of communion with God when you have a houseful of children?!

But then you have people like Brother Lawrence who says that even the simple act of cutting vegetables or gardening can be an act of worship!

Did you just go, "Huh?"

Well, I did until yesterday when I watched Rob Bell's Everything is Spiritual DVD. I finally accepted what my dh has been saying all along - "everything IS spiritual".  We've been so well trained to think one ought to be either spiritual OR practical but that is wrong.

Watch that DVD if you get a chance to (it's available at SKS Books) - Rob Bell says it so clearly and simply - everything should be spiritual with us because that's how God made us to be. There is no either/or. It just is.

Now - please don't ask me how to be spiritual while cutting vegetables or wiping someone's snot.  Obviously I am not there yet! I am still a work in progress and I truly thank God that He does not and will not give up on me.

Phil 1:6
"he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Articles for the Christian SAHM can be found at :

www.BuildingUpMoms.com

No, I am not talking about using up 8 tubes of lipstick per year but INGESTING it!!!!

Thursday's (13th March 2008) Urban*, reported that it was calculated that a woman who uses lipstick daily ends up ingesting 8 tubes of it per year! Yucks!

And the best part is most women (me included) don't even know what goes into a tube of lipstick. Does it make you think twice before slopping it on? Actually, I think most of us won't!

Why?

Coz vanity often comes first.

Now those of us who don't use lipstick must be now patting themselves on their backs for going au naturale.

Do I use lipstick? No, I don't. Though I must confess not by choice. After the birth of #5, my body rebelled against it. Lol! Everytime I put it on (and trust me, I tried many brands), my lips would itch like crazy. So now I have gone sans lipstick for 4 years already.

Actually even without it, my lips still itch like crazy. I developed dry lips despite the numerous times I apply lip balm (not vaseline) per day.  Sometimes I wonder if it is the result of wearing lipstick constantly since university days? Afterall, I developed dry eyes afte wearing contact lenses for 10 years.

Oh well, I guess I really have to focus on inner beauty, eh?

* Urban is a free fashion paper that comes free with Straits Times every Thursday.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Articles for the Christian SAHM can be found at

www.BuildingUpMoms.com

As a homeschooling mom, I have to say that I really, really dislike school holidays!  And that is probably an understatement!

Why? You may ask since it does not concern me. But it does concern me. It is amazing what ruckus the let-loose public school children get up to every time the school holidays roll around. They annoy me to no end with their screaming and screeching from mid-day to late at night.

They do this day-after-day till the school hols are over! Sometimes in their homes but usually downstairs in the void deck.

And I often wonder - where are the parents/guardians? Do they know where their children are? And why do they let them out so late at night?

Yes, I understand that children need to let off steam and work out their nervous energy - hey! I have 6 children, I should know!  But there's obviously no thought given to those who live in the surrounding blocks. If they did it in the playground/badminton court area, I can understand. People who chose to buy flats there do know that such sounds are part of the deal. But I don't live near the playground/badminton courts!

And what about letting them lose at night - probably unsupervised? Well, if they were supervised and they were allowed to shriek and scream that loud, then I have nothing to say about the person supervising them!  

Even as I write, I can hear such screams and loud talking from the flat opposite mine

Yes, I know this is part of the deal of public housing but I sure wish these kids were more considerate! Thankfully, most of our children are able to sleep through such noises and so that probably makes me the one that is least tolerant.

Ok - rant over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Articles for the Christian, Homeschooling, SAHM can be found at :

www.BuildingUpMoms.com

↑ Grab this Headline Animator

Recently I wrote an article Choosing Friends for my website Building Up Moms.

I mentioned that it is important to choose friends wisely or we could be pulled down by thoughts of coveteousness and envy. Also, a godly friend provides godly counsel but a worldly friend provides worldly counsel. To read more, click HERE.

I bring this up coz I recently learnt of a dilemma my cousin* is experiencing. When she first had her baby, she was stressed over babysitting arrangements. She thought her mom would look after her baby but her mom said, "no". She didn't want to stop work to look after her grandchild. Since my cousin couldn't trust a stranger to stay home with her baby alone, she was willing to stop work to look after the baby herself.

But everyone around her told her that that was a silly idea, especially since she had been selected to attend a course as part of her job. Apparently this course was a tough one to get into and she had been dreaming about it for ages.

So she put aside her maternal instincts to want to look after her baby herself and got a live-in maid. She then managed to persuade her mil to watch over the maid while she was out working. All was working well, or so she thought.

Then came a bombshell - due to a misunderstanding, her mil quit on her! So she was back to square one. Again, she said she would stop work and look after the baby herself. And again, a huge chorus of voices told her not to!

So she continued working and attending her course and meanwhile her baby is farmed out to her mom's place where her mom's maid and her maid will look after the baby till her mom comes home from work. She will visit the baby after she finishes work but the baby stays on in her mom's home from Mondays to Fridays and only goes home with her over the weekend!

Confused, yet?

I know that I, personally, would not be able to stomach this arrangement. Leaving your baby to go to work is hard enough but to leave the baby behind and only take him home on Saturdays and Sundays??? And this is not to be a short term arrangement either. This arrangement is to last a minimum of 2 years till her course is over.

Her heart cries out to want to care for her baby herself, but the voices around her told her it is silly, that she is wasting the chance of lifetime to give up on the course and work. And that this is the best arrangement.  

Who benefits from this so-called best arrangement??? The mother who is stressed? The baby who is torn apart from the mother? The grandmother who now has to look afer her grandchild? It doesn't seem best to me at all! This is what happens when one takes counsel from the world!

How can it be the best arrangement when mother and child are separated day and night and meet only for a few hours each day? And for what? For a course? For work? Is it worth it???

Some people may say - ah! but it was her mom who let her down coz if her mom had agreed to look after the baby, none of this would have happened. But let me ask - whose baby is it? Why should the grandmother stop work to look after the grandchild?!?! Why is it ok for the grandmother to stop work and not the mother? Is it because the grandmother draws a lower salary than the mother? Is it because the mother has a graduate's degree and the grandmother doesn't?

The world has gone crazy if they can think that this sort of arrangement is best.

And you know what is sad? My mom is one of those voices who told her not to stop work!

I told my mom - tell her that her baby's well-being is more important than any course. She can always take up the course later on in her life. But my mom kept quiet and obviously did not relay the my message to her.

The main consensus seem to be : her work and her course are far more important than the baby's bond with the mother. And even though her heart tells her it is not right, the general consensus around her tell her it is right and good and so she listens and acts on the advice given. And you know what else? No one asked her dh his opinion!

Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!  

* I have many, many cousins (my mom comes from a family 10 siblings!) but sadly are not in contact with any of them. Many times, updates I hear of them are through my mom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Articles for the Christian SAHM can be found at :

www.BuildingUpMoms.com

↑ Grab this Headline Animator

I've been wanting to blog about the Special Report, "Only Hope" that Straits Times did last Saturday (1st March 2008) on the population crisis in China.

Main point the 6-page special made was that the draconian population control policy China implemented in the hopes of achieving economic success quickly has succeeded so well that it is now causing a "demographic time bomb and widening the gender imbalance" (ST, Special Report, S1).

I guess one could blame English economist Thomas Robert Malthus for first putting forth the idea that the world will be in great poverty if population was allowed to grow without restraint. (Please do not ask me to explain in detail what he said since the last time I read of him ad his work was 20 years ago! ).

A few points that I was thinking about :

Poor Stewardship

It is due to Man's poor stewardship of the earth that earth's resources are being depleted faster than it should. And it is due to Man's sinful nature that many corrupt governments thrive resulting in many people living in poverty. It is not true that it is population growth that has resulted in poverty. Go and check out critics of the population explosion myth.

But due to the scare mongering put forward by Malthus, many governments decided to control population growth with a series of incentives and disincentives to make sure that their citizens obeyed the call to produce no more than 1 - 2 children per husband and wife. Singapore was no different.

A lot of the incentives came in the form of monetary incentives and rewards, monetary punishment or fines. So, as Susan Long puts it aptly, "the problem with indoctrinating people to think about children in a cost-benefit analysis framework is that once children are systematically viewed as a liability, there is no turning back." ST, Special Reports, S2).

The Bible views children as blessings to be how the desired and sought after. Proverbs 127:3 says they are a reward. Not a liability! Hence even with more monetary carrots dangling infront of them, many couples are choosing not to have children or to have just one or two, hardly enough to keep the economy going.

Isn't it ironical governments limited family size in order to bring the country forward economically but now it is the limited family size that is causing many economies to slow down since there are not enough people in the workforce?

Man played God and now has to pay the price for it.

The ME Culture

Another issue that jumped at me is the flourishing of the ME Culture, not only in China but all over. You see this especially in developed countries where a certain level of afflunce has been attained. The ME Culture says I come first. Everything and everyone else comes second.

So you have the titles of two articles in the same report titled, "My trophy kids make me look younger" and "Better to have a pet than a child" both by Sim Chi Yin and Susan Long (ST, Special Reports, S4 & S5, respectively).

Isn't it sad?

We've chosen to not look upon children as blessings, a reward of the womb. Preferring instead, to  view them as an accessory to our looks/lifestyle OR choosing to manifest our maternal instinct on pets! All very warped and against what God had ordained.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Articles for the Christian SAHM can be found at :

www.BuildingUpMoms.com

↑ Grab this Headline Animator

Did you read today's Straits Times' article on the above? Yep, 28,000 parents thus far, have attended parenting talks initiated and funded by the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports.

I am not against those attended/are going to attend these talks. It is great that parents are interested enough in the development of their children that they are willing to take time off to listen to what the experts have to say.

I just want to say - be careful who you take your counsel from. Not to totally discard what these experts have to say (remember the saying - don't throw the baby out with the bathwater) but to ask if they are dealing with the issues from a biblical or a worldy viewpoint.

It is really more difficult to raise children in these modern, liberal times. It used to be that parents can count on schools and society to back up what the parents taught at home. But now, Christian parents are discovering that we have to fight back and shelter our chilren from society's liberal rules! And of course, goiung against the tide is always tiring and lonely.

Perhaps if you 've gone for these classes, you may wish to share what is taught?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Building Up Moms website is back in action. For how long? I really don't know. But the POLL is still on!  So do go and vote and let me know.

Most of us like to be in control of our lives, right? For me, being a first-born (who got my way most of the time) coupled with almost 10 years of independently running a home and a houseful of children have helped the control freak in me to blossom.  

And this struggle to be in control of my own life vs letting God control it is unfortunately a regular occurrence.  

There has been an issue I have been struggling with for a few months. And last night, I was prompted by the Holy Spirit to read Proverbs 3:5. So I took out my Bible and read Proverbs 3:5 - 8.

 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, 
    And lean not on your own understanding; 
       In all your ways acknowledge Him, 
    And He shall direct your paths. 
       Do not be wise in your own eyes; 
    Fear the LORD and depart from evil. 
       It will be health to your flesh,
    And strength to your bones.

Wow! The verses jumped out at me  and spoke to the situation I have been struggling with.

Trust God or Help Him?

I say that I trust God and yet when it comes to the crunch, do I really trust Him? Or is the control freak in me going to surface again? A lot of times we can pay lip service to faith and God but how we react tells the truth.

And am I trying to help God? Like how Sarai helped God to bring to pass the prophecy given to Abraham? Which in the end brought a lot of grief till today.

I need to let go and trust Him.

What wisdom do I have?

God is telling me not to be wise in my own eyes but to trust Him and to fear Him. Proverbs reminds us that there is a way that seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death. (Proverbs 14:12 and 16:25). My wisdom is useless and can bring me harm. If He has said something, then the only wise thing is to obey and not argue and complain (hey! isn't that what we tell our children? )

Pride a sin

Fear God and depart from evil - think about it. When we do things our way, we are being evil. Not evil in the sense of commiting a murder but evil in the sense that we are prideful. We think we know best and so turn away from God and do our own thing. We commit the sin of pride and being sinful is evil. (*)

So if there is any issue that you have been struggling with God, may I encourage you to meditate over these verses.

As for me and my struggle - It is really not easy to relinquish full control to God  but He knows best and I know He knows best . So I have to change my attitude and walk the talk! And I sure hope I do not whine about it too much!

(*) We like to categorise sin in its varying degrees of sinfulness. Eg. murder is worse than lying. But in God's eyes, a sin is a sin. That's why we all need Jesus!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Articles for the Christian SAHM can be found at :
www.BuildingUpMoms.com

For anyone that may be interested, here's my 2 cents on it. But before the review, I must give you some background (an excuse to digress! Lol!)

Most of you know that we do not have a live-in maid or part time helper. So that means all housework and cooking are done by ourselves. I say ourselves coz now I have helpers! Yay!  They may be little (oldest is 9.5yrs old) but they are certainly more energetic than me! So might as well channel all that energy into productive labour, eh?

Depsite having helpers. the work load is still heavy. So I am always in the lookout for better and more efficient home making tools.

We currently use a very basic Moulinex Gimini vacuum cleaner first and then use the 3M mop (the purple one with a sponge head) to mop. It is working out pretty well. The 3M mop allows the floor to dry up very much faster than the traditional cloth mop.

But I am still looking for something to cut down the cleaning time so I borrowed my dad's Osim iEcologi which can steam clean and vacuum at the same time! Wow! I thought a great invention. Vacuum and steam clean at the same time?! That sure would cut down the time I spend weekly vacuuming and mopping! And steam is supposed to kill more germs without any chemicals.

But I am sorry to inform you that while it really steam cleans and vacuums very well (even dh noticed the clean feel of the floor when he returned home) the time taken and the energy expanded to complete the job is waaaay too much for me!

Time
Theoretically, you should cut back on the amount of time required for housecleaning BUT it actually takes longer! Why? Coz you can't just vcauum up the wet floor (caused by the steam), you need to go over the same spot at least 3 times to dry the floor!

So in the time taken to clean downstairs using the iEcologi, I could have vacuumed, mopped the same area plus wash the entire toilet (wash basin, commode & all!) 

Weight
Also the iEcologi is heavy!!! My arms ached terribly after using it. The stronger the suction, the more strength is required to push and pull the machine! Even the connecting extension poles are heavy - it has to be made of high quality metal to allow the steam to pass through without destroying it, I suppose.

The strength required to push the machine also means I can no longer vacuum with one hand and carry the baby in the other!

Noise
It wasn't as noisy as I thought it would be. At the lower suction level (Levels 1 & 2) , the sound is comparable to my usual vacuum cleaner. So that was helpful. A noisy vacuum cleaner means I only can vacuum when the baby is awake.

Purchase?
No, I will not be purchasing it. It just takes too long for me use it properly on a daily basis. It is a great machine if one doesn't have to work within tight time constraints and is willing to overlook the weight of the machine. The thought of having to lug the machine up and down the stairs is another deterrent.

But I must say I was slightly tempted when dh commented on the clean feel of the floors.

Another option 
Robots such as the Roomba and/or Scooba from iRobot are good alternatives . A friend recenly purchased an iRobot from Courts. She absolutely loves it. But I seriously doubt it would work for us. The amount of stuff generated by 8 persons versus 4, (especially when 4 of the 8 are 6yrs and under!) is not the same. Also for the robots to work efficiently, you need clear the floor space. And it does not do corners!

Besides I've got a helper in my oldest ds who vacuums downstairs for me daily  So I don't need an Roomba. I guess I should train him to mop then I won't need a Scooba either, eh?  

What Next?
I am now exploring a basic water-based vacuum. I like it to be water-based as this lessens the dust from re-entering the air throught the back vents. Unless one has super high grade HEPA filters, there is always dust re-entering the air.

How does this help me? Well, the last time I used a water-based vacuum the floor was very clean after that. That means that if necessary, I could mop once every 2 weeks instead!  

I'll keep you updated if we should find a reasonably priced and effective water-based vacuum.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Articles for the Christian SAHM can be found at :
www.BuildingUpMoms.com

Those who have been reading my blog for a while will know that I have a few pet topics (who doesn't? ) And dressing modestly is definitely one of those topics!

While Christmas shopping the past week, I realise that it is getting increasingly difficult to find fashionable, modest clothing in Singapore! And to make things more difficult for me, modest, attractive nursing clothes are an even rarer find!

Everything is tight, and body hugging OR it has plunging necklines OR it is deliberately designed to draw the eye to one's chest! It seems that everything is focused on the chest!!! Now when you breastfeed, you certainly have a chest!  And while some women love the attention that gets them, I don't! And I resent the fact that designers all over seem to think all women like that kind of attention!

It makes me wish I could sew! Ah! One of those skills that I desperately wish I'd learnt when I was young and single! Now I understand why many women start their own business selling clothes/jewellery/bags that they can't seem to find anywhere.

But since I can't sew anything more complicated than a straight line  I have to fork out a lot more money to buy clothes from overseas. And spend a lot more time surfing the net to find these modestly and fashionably designed clothes. Sigh.

End of grumble!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Previous articles about dressing and modesty can be found here :

God Looks At Our Hearts, Man Looks At Our Appearance
When Little Girls Dress Like Tarts

**********************************************************************************************

Articles for the Christian SAHM can be found at :
www.BuildingUpMoms.com

Today's (12th December 2007)  Straits Times ran an article under the "World" section entitled, "Making Britain the best place to grow up - New policies will re-shape how kids study and play". p19.

Did the sub-heading give you the creeps?

The government of UK is launching a 10-year programme to "re-shape childhood and covers every aspect of children's lives, from how they spend their free time, to childhood obesity and the role parents play in their education."

Yikes! The government is going to determine how the children grow up, be educated and even play?!

Although the Plan does not aim to take over from the parents to raise the children, it seems to come mighty close to it.  But what's more scary is that most parents are only too glad to let the government do so! For more on this Plan, just google The Children's Plan and you'll find BBC and Telegraph.co.uk's report on it.

I am sure it is a well-intentioned plan to help those who are needy and come from disadvantaged homes. But what makes me really wary is how involved the government is becoming in family life. Are we all headed the way of America's CPS (Child Protection Services)? Where families no longer have any rights to raise their children they wish to.

I have read of a situation in the US of how a baby, a nursing baby at that, was removed from the family home and into foster care, just because the family refused to allow the baby to undergo blood testing for a disorder they knew the baby did not have! And you have the CPS coming to "interview" families who have been complained against by disgruntled neighbours or family!

Families need to take ownership of their own children! Be accountable for them. And stop blaming everyone else. Yes, it is more difficult to raise a child in today's world than the world we grew up in but then even the more we need to get down on our knees and pray for our children's souls! Not let the government play nanny!

Good policies make our parenting job easier but be careful not to keep looking at the authorities to take over our job!

*******************************************************************************************

Articles for the Christian SAHM can be found at :
www.BuildingUpMoms.com

Yesterday I went downstairs to buy instant noodles  and had a surreal conversation with the provision store owner's wife.

I'd noticed that they had re-organised their wares both in & out of their shop. So being Miss Kay Poh  asked her what caused the revamp which I thought made the shop look more spacious and more organised. She was however not a pleased woman.

Immediately she launched into a complaint about THE government! Said that there are now new & stricter rulings which require shopkeepers all over Singapore not to clog up the space outside their shops and that all wares/stands displayed outside the shop must be moved into the shop when the store closed.

So I asked if it had to do with the 2 siblings who died in a shophouse fire recently. (The wares stored along the corridor of the shophouses made the fire worse and they died trying to escape from the blazing fire). And here comes the part that shocked me. She said :

"Just because of the 2 dead persons the whole of Singapore has to suffer!"  and "This is not the first time someone has died what!"

Woah!

I was so shocked I gaped at her and didn't hear the rest of her grumblings.

Amazing isn't it? Two people died in a shophouse fire due to neglience of the shopkeepers so the government stepped in & made sure that stricter rules were in place and enforced - for our safety.

But obviously shopkeepers all over the island are not happy as this has resulted in less display space for their wares which equals less sales and moolah! Who cares about safety? Who cares about lives that could be lose in more fires?

Like I said - talk about being self-centred. It's all about ME!  

***************************************************************************************************************

Visit www.BuildingUpMoms.com for articles on being a Christian SAHM

21 because, although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Professing to be wise, they became fools, ...24 Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves, ...
26 For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. 27 Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.
Romans 1 : 21 - 27

Our local newspapers have been full of news that caught my eye lately.

Of course, the highlight of it all was the sitting of Parliament to debate if the government should repeal Section 377A of the Penal Code which deems sex between two men illegal. I won't go into the details as it has been covered extensively before the sitting and after the sitting. For the moment, the conservative silent majority has "won". How long this win will last, I am not sure. If you are wondering which side I am on, I am with the conservative silent majority .

When I worked as a Public Relations executive in a major fashion house, meeting gays was a daily occurence. Some were more in your face while others were very subtle. They were great fun to be with. I'd like to think that we get along just great. I have nothing personal against them but all the same, the bible calls sex between men shameful Rom 1:27 and an abomination. Lev 18:22.

Be careful now! The the gay activists will now try the soft approach to win the conservative silent majority to their cause. Probably through the media. I am quite sure we'll see more and more sympathetic portrayals of gays in the local media. It is already happening in the western media. Notice how almost all the popular tv/movie shows has one gay character? Brothers & Sisters, now showing on Channel 5 has one. Then of course there's the wildly popular, Academy-award winning movie by Lee Ang, Brokeback Mountain.

The other issue that caught my eye in the newspapers was the front page news that there was an increasing number of Vietnamese who were aborting their girl babies. Abortion is murder. Secular and scientific minds often argue that a foetus isn't a baby. But if God knew us before we were even conceived Psalm 139:16 a foetus is a baby!  These women were murdering their babies because they were not of the preferred gender.

Sadly, they are not the only ones murdering their babies. Locally, newspaper reports have mentioned the increase in abortions over the years. Here, we often abort because the baby was conceived at a "inconvenient" time. Or worse - as a form of contraception!

And then there were two reports of arrests of mothers - one in Malaysia, the other in Australia, of allegedly murdering their children. One toddler was found stuffed in a suitcase and dumped into a lake.

What is happening? Why are women murdering the babies - either in utero or when already borne to them? Why are men preferring men? And trying to persuade everyone else that this is merely an alternative lifestyle?

Read the entire first chapter of the book Romans and you will have your answer.

Because they wouldn't acknowledge God! Romans 1:21. So God gave them up to their vile passions, exchanging what was natural for what was unnatural - mothers killing, abandoning their children, men having sexual interest in other men and women with women.

Even when not brought to the extreme, there are mothers who are only too glad to "abandon" their children so that they can have self-fulfilment in their careers. Or mothers who would not nurse their babies so that they can preserve their bodies.

Recently, I witnessed how a new mom would have as little to do with her newborn baby as possible by claiming that she needed to rest. She would not do the night feeds. She seldom carried her baby except to feed the baby with the expressed milk.

This is not natural. I was sad for the baby who was held more often by everyone else in the family than the mother. And who was not allowed to nurse from the mother because it was inconvenient for the mother who wanted to keep the baby on a rigid schedule.

Be careful when we would not acknowledge God. Be careful when we try to be wise in our own eyes. Lest God gives us up to our vile passions! Be careful the wrath of God!

For articles on being a Christian SAHM, do check out
www.BuildingUpMoms.com

*******************************************************************************************************

Lev 18:22 You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination.

Ps 139:16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
                     And in Your book they all were written,
                     The days fashioned for me,
                     When as yet there were none of them.

I am rather disturbed by the increasing trend of dressing little girls like minature grown up women. Why can't a little girl be a little girl? Why do so many mothers dress their little girls like tarts???

Just on Sunday, I saw a young girl of about 9yrs old dressed in a skimpy (in style and material) spaghetti strapped dress with thigh high boots! What sort of image is she presenting? And why, oh why, did her mom and dad allow her out of the house like that? And did they buy the outfit for her???

And another time, I saw a girl at the cusp of puberty dressed in a white, thin and short (mid thigh) singlet style dress with no supporting undergarments. You know what that means, right? Certain anatomical parts will show thru the thin material. And she was jumping and running around the shop with her younger brother! Yikes!

With paedophiles all over the place, why, why, why, do mothers and fathers allow their daughters to dress like that???

But you know what upsets me? That most adults probably don't think there's anything wrong with it. When a child dresses like a sexual being, is it no wonder that she attracts attention of the wrong kind? And then adults tsk! tsk! at them for getting pregnant  and having abortions at such early ages!

I had one young Sunday School teacher looking at me in shock when I said that we do not let our daughters wear spaghetti strap tops or dresses. She actually consoled my daughter saying, "Nevermind, when you are older, you can"!!! Yikes! Was I glad that my daughters were not in her class!

Modesty is often thrown out and looked upon as prudish and unfashionable in this modern and progressive society. So we then have mothers trying not to look like mothers (See What Does A Mom Look Like") but "sexy and hot"  and then getting their daughters to look like them!

Ah!!! Now what's even more disappointing? Christian parents, Christian mothers are doing the same!!! How many times have you gone to church and seen skimpily clad ladies? And I am not talking about the Youth Ministry!  Sadly, we no longer know what is modest and immodest coz our spirits have been de-sensitised by the media and the fashion houses.

But please, I beseech you, as children of the great King, dress modestly for His sake!

I have written about modesty before in
God Looks At Our Hearts, Man Looks At Our Appearance.

Check out
Building Up Moms
A website to encourage and build up the Christian SAHM.
Building Up Moms Resource Corner
Books for Men, Women, Children and the Family.

Do you realise how easy it is to blame everyone else for your problems, except yourself? I know coz I do it a lot!  

Yesterday (14th May 2007) I read in the Straits Times' Forum Page that the people at SMRT should be more flexible in letting parents feed their infants. At first I thought it was one of those over zealous officials that refuse a nursing baby's right to nurse coz of the modesty issue. But I read on and found out that the "infant" in question was already 1 year old and the parents wanted to feed her biscuits! And when the official on duty told them that they should have fed her before boarding the train, they said they did!

Huh? Unless a child has a medical condition that required constant feeding, I personally do not see why she can't wait to eat til they reach their destination since she had fed just before boarding the train. The writer (the girl's aunt) insisted that the girl was hungry!?!?!

If she had just fed before boarding the train. How could she be hungry so soon? This is Singapore and we know how efficient our MRT system is (I say this without any sarcasm!) - theycouldn't have waited more than 10min for the train to arrive. It was said that the girl cried till her t-shirt was soaked!

A few things went through my mind -

1. Could it be that the girl is used to eating on the train but was caught this time? And now she's crying coz she can't get her way?

2. Or could it be that the girl was just throwing a temper tantrum coz she has been denied her demands?

Whatever it was - it was clear that the writer was insisting that it was not the girl's fault nor the parents' fault. Hmmm.........

Building Up Moms 
A website to encourage and build up the Christian SAHM.
Building Up Moms Resource Corner
Books for Men, Women, Children and the Family.

Is it me or is there a worldwide conspiracy to get mothers back into the workforce?!

When we left for our 5 day trip to Johor on Thursday, 26th April, 2007, Dh asked if I wanted to bring that day's newspapers along. I said yes. And so, on one of the rare free moments during the trip, I read the article about the push to get more women back into the workforce, "Getting US mothers back to work" by Linda Hirshman for New York Times Syndicate published in Straits Times (ST).

Then on Friday, 4th May, 2007, ST ran an article titled, "S'pore's Workforce : Beefing It Up With Women" by Lynn Lee. And a side article on East Coast GRC MP Jessica Tan who was quoted as saying, "I think I am a better person when I have both work and family." But in the paragraph before that she is also quoted as saying that "her husband would probably be happy if she gave it all up to spend more time at home.". Hmm.....

Anyhow, all these wouldn't have raised my eyebrows coz these are not a new topics or opinions. But there was an outragingly rude comment by Linda Hirshman, on what being a stay home mother means.

She wrote and I quote "Should we care if women leave the workforce? Yes, because participation in public life allows women to use their talents and to powerfully affect society. And once they leave, they usually cannot regain the income or status they had." (emphasis mine).

Why am I upset by her comment? Read carefully. What is she saying? She is saying that staying home wastes a woman's talent and potential. By staying home, we cannot "use our talents" and "powerfully affect society." Mothers who stay at home produce no economic value in society's eyes. They are like leeches, parasites, no?

I suppose she has never heard of the saying, "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world"?!

All these articles and comments again proves to me, that all the talk about motherhood being a noble calling and that mothers are the rock of the family is just lip service. (See my post on the comment made by Mr Lim Swee Say in Interesting News Articles The Past Week or Two.) No one truly believes in it, save a few. A mother must be a working mom before she can be bestowed any titles and be considered a role model in today's modern, progressive world.

A mother who chooses to raise her children herself instead of working, has wasted all the efforts by her parents and the state to educate her. And yet, the irony is that studies have shown over and over again that a mother's education level affects her children's IQ. So a mother - stay home or otherwise, never wastes her education!

A mother who invests her time and energy raising powerful quivers for the Kingdom of God is laughed at. Her efforts to train and raise morally upright citizens are dismissed as a job "anyone can do". Why else does the world keep pushing for schools to teach morals and sex education to the students? Soon the schools will take over parenting! See 2nd part in Interesting News Articles The Past Week or Two.

A mother who chooses to spend time and effort caring for her children them instead of farming them out (or "outsourcing" to use the current hip term!) to childcare agencies with its endlessly high turnover rate of childcare minders or babysitters, grandparents, maids, etc.... is being silly. She shouldn't be wasting her time! She is not fulfilling her potential!

I could go on...but the main point is : this is what happens when we use economics to measure our worth. All work is measured in terms of monetary value. And it is clear that society deems mothering as having zero value.

How about you? Do you also think that way? I have written about this before in :
SAHM = Brain Dead Mom? And Why I Choose to Stay Home.

It does not matter to me what the world calls me (yes, I still get angry at how rude people are) or thinks of me. I stand firm and secure in knowing and obeying God's call on my life. He has blessed me with children. My duty is to raise them up in the fear and knowledge of the Lord. I believe I am the best person for the job (otherwise He would have given my children to someone else!).

If the world calls me foolish, it is ok. If the world labels my "work" ZERO! It is ok because I know there is great eternal and spiritual value in what I do. What other work has such eternal consequences and value as leading the little ones He placed in my home into His Kingdom?

Indeed,

"For what profit is it to a man if he gains the world and loses his soul?" Matthew 16:26

So again, I ask : How about you?

As we prepare to celebrate Mother's Day on Sunday, 13th May 2007, do you look upon your choice to be a stay-at-home-mom as a privilege to mold lives and save souls? Or are you waiting for the day you can go back to the workforce and do something meaningful with your life?

Happy Mother's Day!

*******************************************

Check out our website for articles for Christian SAHMs.
www.BuildingUpMoms.com
We also stock Christian books for Men, Women, Children and the Family at 
Building Up Moms Resource Corner