Ok, I am back again after being gone for awhile. These last couple of weeks have been eye openers for me. Things have been kind of rough but I know through all of this stuff I am learning valuable lessons. I have been feeling kind of down lately. It just seems that everything I have been trying to accomplish has to go wrong in one way or another. I have been told that the closer you try to get to God the more the Devil trys to steal your joy and boy is that true! But I have to remind myself that I have the option to let him steal it or not. I have to admit I have been letting him win. I let myself get so worked up over little stupid things and from there it just seems to snowball. Anyone out there know how I feel? I sure hope I am not the only one. 

Anyway, we are finally all getting better. We have been sick off and on for about three weeks and now it finally seems to be going away. Work is going very well and I am very happy there. I was able to go back to church this past Thursday but I guess since I have been gone for about two weeks I just feel lost there. I dont know if lost is the word I want to use but I cant think of a better one. I love my church and would never dream of leaving but I just felt like I was not a part of it on Thurs. I know I am a part of it and I am involved in lots there but oh well. That all could be another way that Satan is trying to get at me. So, my friend gave a devotional that night and it really hit home with me. It was about being still. You know, " Be Still and Know that I am God". It sounds like such an easy thing to do but it's not. I am always running around doing something, cleaning something, etc... I try to do my devotionaly daily but it just does not happen. I bearly have time to have a moment to myself, another thing that is SOOOOO important. I had to stop and think, when is the last time I was just quiet and still to open myself to God. It's been a long time. Too Long. So, as I was driving home kind of in a bad mood because I just was, I turned on the radio and was listening to KSBJ as I always do. I started to sing along, I forget what song was on and then I just stopped singing. This was weird for me because I am always singing. I find it hard to not sing. But I just drove and listened. I suddenly found myself crying. I was not really sad but I just felt this overwhelming peace and it blew me away. I took a moment to be still and God spoke to my heart. We are so blessed to have a God who remembers us even when we forget him. Now I would like to say everything was perfect after that but we all know that would be a lie. I still keep putting off my devotionals but God keeps reminding me that I need to spend time with him. I am just in amazed at his patience with me. I pray for that kind of patience.

Miles is doing GREAT. I have the most AWESOME child!! No, he is not perfect. He has a hitting problem and he talks back alot but I still adore him. I bought him some toys from a teachers store and he just amazes Zach and I with how smart he is. He has these sorting bears that are in all different colors and there are different color cups to go with them. He sorts them all into the right color cups easily. Not only does he sort them correctly but he picks them up with these little tongs I got him. He has great fine motor skills. I also got him these dinosaur links, they are like that barrel of monkeys toy. He loves them. I love to watch him learn. We also have a game where we ask him to find different shapes around the house. I will say " Find a rectangle" and he will point out the drawer, or a book, or the window sill. He loves to learn. He is also learning some sign language. This week at daycare his class was learning about feelings so when he gets upset he will tell me " Mommy, I'm angry" etc. He has been teaching me some stuff too. I have been so absorbed with my problems lately and I had noticed he was really acting out. So last night instead of coming home and cleaning etc.. I spent the whole evening playing with him, and I can really tell that is what he needed. Today he has been such a pleasure. No temper tantrums, he is doing better on talking back and he has not hit today. It's wonders what a little Mommy and Me time will do. He did not even fight me on nap today. I just got him this cool Marble Works toy and I told him that if he took a good nap then when he woke up we would play and he said " Ok"  and went to sleep.  Also he loves to help me clean house, especially vaccum. I takes a long time cause he has to help me push it but I let him help me today, I took about 10 min longer but it was worth it to see the smile on his face.

Well, I have probably wrote too much and if you finish reading this you deserve a medal so I am going to go. I will try to put some pics of Miles doing his "work" later. Take Care and God Bless.

So, I came across this pic and it made me sad. My little baby is growing into a little boy and too soon he will be a little man. In this pic he was only 8 or 9 months. Now he is a very tall two and a half yr. old. Time goes by too fast. I want to rewind. I find myself really wanting another one but I dont know I really want another one or if I just want to relive his babyhood. Anyways, Zach and I have come to the decision that we are not going to try to have another one until we get out of traning, which if we go in next Aug. it will be 2 years of school. So I guess I will be about 29 by the time we start trying again. We have prayed long and hard about this and feel it is the best. Going to school full time and raising Miles will be hard enough without adding in an infant. It is not what I had pictured for our life. I figured we would have another one around the time Miles turned 3 but God's plan for my life is much better than anything I could do on my own. I keep reminding myself, "Mishelle, it is not all about you." Aside from that, I have been having some stuff going on at work. Part of the problem is that I was passed over for a position I was next in line for. But even though I really want to quit, I feel God wants me to stay for some unknown reason. Quitting would be much easier than continuing to work somewhere I am unhappy but God's way is not always the easy way. I keep telling myself that this is not the job I will have for the rest of my life, it is not my calling. A verse has continued to pop into my head for the last month. I am taking it from The Message. I love the way it is worded, I find it easier to relate to.

I know what I am doing. I have planned it all out- plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.                

  Jeramiah 29:11

I know God has given Zach and I an awesome calling and he has a reason he wants me to stay where I am right now. I dont know why but he does and that is all that matters. He has awesome plans for everyone, they just have to make the decision to follow him and his plan for their life. Well, I am going to go hang out with my husband. I could be cleaning my house which is a wreck,( all you parents of toddlers know what that is like. I can spend hours cleaning and he can wreck it all in 20 min.) but I can do that tomrrow. I want to be lazy. Every woman should take some lazy time. I hope you all sleep well, Take care and God Bless.

P.S. I found my new fav. singer. Her name is Corinne Bailey Rae. Check her out, especially " Like a Star".

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