~Lesson 16

Destructions: Turn these boring endings into satisfying

 endings. You don’t have to use EVERY element.

Pick and choose the ones you like.

_______________________________________________

Before: Just as the space creature opened it’s mouth to eat me, I woke up. It was only a dream.

A memory? I could still picture those razor-sharp teeth

A Feeling? I couldn’t belive how scared I’d been

A hope? I’ll probably never have the same dream again

A decision? I won’t watch scary movies anymore

Revised ending: Just before the terrfying dream got worse I woke up, but I could still picture those razor-sharp teeth .

I’m never going to watch a scary movie again!

_______________________________________________

_______________________________________________

Before: And that is the story of how I saved my little sister from drowning.

A memory?  I could still feel the current’s pull

A feeling? Relief washed through me as her hand grasped mine.

A hope? Maybe someday Mom will let us play by the stream again.

A decision? I’m never going to let Lizzy  play there again

Revised ending: we stumbled onto the the bank, but I could still feel the current’s pull. I’ll never forget how she screamed for help, but relief  washed through me as her hand grasped mine. Mom says I saved my little sister from drowning, but Lizzy claims that she saved me!

________________________________________________

okay that was lesson 16

~Lesson 15

Destructions: think of a favorite book or movie. Write a

nutshell summary. Now, try to identify the hook, the

problem, and the ups and downs of the story, you may not need to use all the lines. Or…you may use the back side of the sheet if you need more lines.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Title: the Witch of Blackbird pond

“Nutshell” summary:  bright Kit Tyler must move from

sunny Barbados to Prutain Wethersfield, Connecticut where

 she befriends a lonely lady, a mistreated child, and an

out-spoken young man.

Hook: Kit argues with Nathaniel

Problem (first “down”): She [Kit] saves a little girl’s doll &

 is suspected of being a witch since no-one in America  can

swim with such agility

Up: she has kind relatives.

Down: she fails at teaching dame school.

Up: she meets the Widow Tupper and finds a friend.

Down: people think Widow Tupper is a witch.

Up: Nathaniel visits Widow Tupper & meets Kit again.

Down: people find out Kit has been visiting Widow Tupper

 & she is forbidden to see her again.

CLIMAX (darkest moment): Kit is accused of being a

witch, is locked up & put on trial & the guy who has

 previously professed his love to her disserts her.

Resolution: Nathaniel risks his life to save Kit as does

mistreated Prudence.

Satisfying Ending: Kit is released, saves Widow Tupper &

 realizes that she loves Nathaniel, and he asks her to marry

him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hope you enjoyed it!

The witch of blackbird pond is one of the greatest books to

read!!!!!!! I recommend you read it this summer; it’s the

type of book that you can take outside and read under a tree

or in an open field and stuff.

 A note-

Mrs. Marlow,

I am not quite ready to write the summary of my book yet,

 though I do have part of it down. So if you want me to

 post the part I do have done please let me know and I’ll

be happy to comply!

New Scene~

Yes, Mrs. Marlow was right the rafting scene didn’t hold much interest for me.

So with her permission I’m going to write a different scene.

Here it is:

Summary: A Stranger threatens Margaret Campbell.

Before you read this please keep in mind that this paragraph is from James’ point of view, since it is from a different chapter.

Scene:

As I got closer the quarters something didn’t feel right, it was too quiet. I set the trunk down at the door and peered into the gloomy room. It took a minute for my eyes to adjust; Margaret was toward the back of the room, her eyes wide and staring. The man in front of her wasn’t much larger than I was but he was definitely older.

“I’m warning you, if you don’t leave now you’ll regret you ever set foot in here!” Margaret threatened the stranger.

“Now sugar..”

“Don’t you ever dare to call me that!”

“Sure, now if you’ll just come with me I can show ya a real good time.”

“I’m sorry I have responsibilities here, now if you’ll be so kind as to leave.” She hinted.

“All right if you won’t cooperate then I’ll just have to convince you-” as the man made a dive for her she moved to the side. The man stumbled to his feet, but as he whirled on her he found himself staring down the barrel of a Derringer.  “w-w-where’d ya get th-that?” he asked stuttered.

 Margaret smile grimly “my papa taught me to carry it. Now I want you to walk out that door and never come back here again, do you understand me?”

“And what if I don’t?” the man asked, Smirking.

“Then I’ll be forced to use this weapon.” She sounded firm but the slight tremor in her voice ruined her bluff.

“You won’t use that, it probably doesn’t even have bullets in it.” The man moved toward her and the gun went off. He felt his shoulder where the bullet had clipped him.

“I missed on purpose I won’t do it again.” She promised, her voice deadly.

“All right I’ll leave but you’ll regret this!” he sneered at her.

“I’m sure I will.” She watched him retreat before lowering the gun and leaning against the wall. I walked in and she jumped, pointing the pistol at me. “It’s just me.” She uncocked the gun and put it in her dress pocket. “I’m sorry, a man was in here and..”

“I know, did he hurt you?” she walked over to the table and sat down.

“He only scratched my hand, it’s fine.” I set the trunk down and sat next to her. “Are you Okay?” I asked, she was shaking really hard.  “No, that was the most terrifying that has ever happened to me.”  I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and he laid her head on my shoulder. “It’s all right, I don’t think he’ll come back around here again! Where did you get that pistol?” she wasn’t shaking quite as hard now.

“My papa gave it to me, I always carry it when I travel.”

“He taught you well, I was right you are a good shot!”

She smiled.     

I hope you like it! Tell me if you have any suggestions to make it better!

Also you may have noticed I used the word ‘good’ in there, while it is a dead word, I think that it is acceptable since it was something people would use in everyday conversations, so I think that it is fine where it is, however if it is not then please let me know and I’ll change it.

Thanks!

-Lesson 14

Destructions (a.k.a instructions): Take the summary and

expand it into a full, riveting, action-packed scene!

 Summary: Josh and his friends ride the rapids in a leaky

raft and survive.

My version:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  “Come on!” Emily called “we’re going to be late!”

“I’m coming!” I called back, as I stumbled into the raft.

“What kept you?” Eric asked.

“My Mom had to do her hair.”

Eric made a face.

“Stop yakking and let’s go!” Emily grumbled. We shoved

off and I noticed the river was very high today.

“Is the river supposed to be so fast?” Eric asked nervously,

“Umm no, it’s not” Emily replied, “Does anyone else notice

 that the water is getting closer to the walls of the raft?”

“Yes! I think we’ve sprung a leak!” Eric screamed.

“Look out for the rapids!” Emily yelled back.

Oh no! I thought we’re going to crash! Somehow Eric

 maneuvered us out of danger and Emily’s makeshift patch

 kept us from sinking. “Whoa! That was close!” I enthused

“I think Josh screamed the loudest.” Eric teased me.

“Oh yeah? You screamed pretty loud yourself.” I teased back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2^nd Try, Lesson 13!

This is the story of Paul and Silas in jail, but I wrote it from
the jailer’s point of school.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 “Will you please be QUIET!?!”  I shouted over my shoulder.
What did those 2 men have to sing about? They were in jail
and it didn’t look like they’d get out anytime soon. I sighed,
why did I ever take  this job? Sure it payed great, but was 
it really worth all the trouble with these criminals? 
Hey! I reminded myself  Your family is better off then most
people!  “might as well settle in for the night” I was half-asleep 
before the shaking started. “what’s going on?” I fell out of my
cot and grabbed my sword. The prisoners were all shouting
and the floor was shaking unaturely. I rushed into the jail
only to find the doors had all fallen over.  Oh NO!! I might
as well be dead, when they  officals find out all the prisoners
escaped they’ll kill me for sure!  As I drew back my sword to
strike myself I heard a voice  “don’t hurt yourself!! We’re
all still here!”  Impossible  I thought. I call for a light which
my sevant brought me. I then ran into the jail and found the
man was right! Every single prisoner was there! “Sirs,”
I addressed the 2 that had been praying and singing, their
God must be very powerful and good to be able to do this.
“How can I be saved?” They replyed  “Belive on the Lord
Jesus Christ and you will be saved”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lesson 13

Mrs. Marlow gave us 3 options and I did the second, so here it goes!

List #1, 2, 3 at the bottom of the second page and write who is the POV character.

Sentences

1) Sarah swallowed nervously. It was obvious Tom was angry with her.

2) Tom was so mad at Sarah he wanted to scream, but he knew she was scared.

3) Tom was so mad he wanted to scream, but Sarah was scared.

My answers

1) the point of view is Sarah’s.

2) this one is Tom’s point of view.

ok I think I finally got this computer to behave it's self and
let me post stuff I type up in Word!

please tell me if some more problems come up with this
post. thanks a bunch!

Lesson 12-

Mrs. Marlow gave us a paragraph that we are supposed
to indent properly

So here it goes!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Original paragraph:

“Batter-up! We haven’t got all day!” Tom shouted.
“Stop yelling,” Katie said.

she grabbed the bat and scowled at her brother. He scowled
back. “No girls,”

Sean piped up from the pitchers mound. “ What do you
care? She’s not on your

team,” Tom snapped. Sean glared at Katie for a moment,
then shrugged. “Suit

yourself. But I’m not going easy on her just ‘cause she’s
a girl.” “Who’s asking

you to?” Katie said. “Play ball!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Version:

“Batter-up! We haven’t got all day!” Tom shouted.

“Stop yelling,” Katie said. She grabbed the bat &
scowled at her brother. He scowled back.

“No girls,” Sean piped up from the pitchers mound.

“What do you care? She’s not on your team,” Tom snapped.

Sean glared at Katie for a moment, then shrugged. “Suit yourself.
But I’m not going easy on her just ‘cause she’s a girl.”

“who’s asking you to?” Katie said. “Play ball!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wow I looked at the answers after I was done and
I think I got 100%!

Tell me what you think of it!

Lesson 11: Nutshell summaries.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Title: The Witch of Blackbird Pond

Nutshell Summary: bright Kit Tyler must move from

Barbados to puritan Wethersfield, Connecticut where she

befriends a lonely lady, a mistreated child & an outspoken

 young man.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Title: They call her Mrs. Doc.

Nutshell Summary: an older lady must move and reminisces

Through her life since she met her late husband.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

okay now here is my story  in a nutshell!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Title: A Yank in the Confederate Army

Nutshell Summary: young Margaret Campbell

Stumbles Into Confederate lines and learns to

survive and find her Yankee Cousin with the help

of  rebel soldier, James Anderson.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

thanks for reading this! Tell me what you think of it!

I will be posting most of my lessons on the weekends

So there will probably be more than one entries in the day.

Lesson 9

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Boring beginnings test answers

2

1

5

3

9

6

7

4

8

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Practice

Sentence: One sunny day Bella and Jacob went to the

Beach and discovered a lifeboat washed up on shore.

Revised:  “what’s this?” Jacob wondered, “do you think

Anyone is inside.” I asked. “well lets go look!” Jacob

exclaimed. As we moved forward  to look inside a groan

 escaped from the boat. “oh  there’s a man in there!”

 Jake called over to me. “well is he hurt or something?”

 I called back, there was no way I was going near the

 guy if he was bleeding. “No he’s not bleeding, he

looks dehydrated.” “oh I have water. Wow does he

look dehydrated!” I gave Jake my canteen.

“Mr.? hey Mr. would you like some water?” Jake

 shook him gently. “you bet I would!”  he responded.

 “wow! He’s alive! I’ll go get him some food.” I volunteered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hope you've enjoyed this! please feel free to comment!

Here is lesson 8!

I’m supposed to write a scene and use one of my characters

 in it. so here it is:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Character: Margaret Campbell

Setting: The beginning of a battle

…my head snapped up as I heard the drum calling the men to

 arms. I looked quickly at James positioned at the door.

“don’t worry, not a yank will come through this door.”

 He promised fervently. I hurriedly finished rebandaging the

patient’s arm, and went to look across the field with James.

Yankees were pouring out of the trenches and running across

no-mans land. Oh Lord please keep William safe & keep up safe too.

I prayed quickly as James raised his rifle and fired.

after discharging a few rounds he ordered me back inside.

So I went back and checked all the men’s wounds, all the while

thinking about Will. Was he lying in some ditch bleeding or was

 he safe back in the trench?…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

so that’s a fragment of my story, hope you enjoyed it!

My “Writing Camera” practice:

Here is how it works!

Mrs. Marlow gives me a dead sentence which I am

supposed to turn into an exciting paragraph.

So here it goes!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before: It rained all week during out camping trip.

After: Thunder roared, and wind shook the tent.

“who’s idea was it to come camping in Washington?”

Bill griped, “yours” Maria reminded him. The sound of the

rain pelting the tent had been a constant companion this

past week. By now everything was soaked, even the food.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before: Katie saw a scary sea creature at the aquarium.

After: “Mommy look out!” Katie screamed “it’s going to

eat you!”  people turned to stare at the frightened little girl

 who pointed to the shark. “don’t worry honey,” her mother

soothed “The shark is trapped behind the glass.” The

monster seemed to smirk at her from behind the glass as

Katie further down the aisle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before: As I entered the cave, I found the object of my

Search- the lost treasure of the Ancients.

After: as the stone was rolled away I saw the entrance to

The hidden cave. It was pitch black and dripping with water.

There were spiders everywhere and it looked like the door

would close at any minute. I hurried down the tunnels

avoiding the giant spider webs, suddenly there was a huge

drop-off . using a vine we swung across the riveen barley

making it. As we came around the bend in the tunnel, I saw it!

The  object I had searched for since I was 10 , the lost

Treasure of the Celts. The cheast was so large and heavy

that it had To be lifted by 4 men. The treasure was made up

 of gold and silver coins & jewelry made of rubies of

emeralds. It was beautiful  and worth several millon dollars

but we donated it to museums across the country.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hope you have enjoyed my souped-up paragraphs!

Please feel free to leave a comment!

Here’s lesson 6!

“Dead” words list

Cool, Hot, Weird, Strange, Creepy, Disturbing,

Fun, Exciting, Thrilling, Odd, Tasty, See/saw,

Go/went, There, Here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tour of my bedroom

As I woke up I took a quick look around the familiar room,

the nightstand with books piled underneath it stood next to

the bed, leaving a tiny space between to walk.

 The wall with cards, old magazine covers, pieces of paper

 that had no meaning except to the owner were taped up all

 over, and the bulletin board with it’s photos and drawings,

 filled to it’s limit, that is constantly growing.

Right next to the door is the closest filled with cloths that

 were on they’re way back to Chelsea, since I had

 out-gowned them.

Underneath the double window that was 80 some years old,

 was an old desk from a torn-down schoolhouse, and a

dressing table that was a wedding gift to my Mama from

Papa (there isn’t enough space they’re room).

Underneath the shelf covered with varying objects from

Derby cars to a porcelain doll, is chest of drawers with

a current Beading project and a pile of CDs on top.

Next to that is my Cedar Chest that holds all of my

Special things- my baby blanket, pictures of me in a

Wedding dress, my special stuffed animal, T-shirts with

Signatures of people I probably won’t see again, and many

other special things. Next to the chest is my bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You’ve now had a tour of my bedroom,

Hi! Here is my 5th lesson.

 A word of warning:

This is an excerpt from a story about the War between

 The States (the civil war) and there are some parts during the battle that are not the most peaceful and may disturb some people. It is not incredibly violent, but it does portray what some people might have experienced.

With that in mind please read the excerpts below and tell me what you think of it! Thanks a bunch!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Character: James Anderson 

Emotion: Startled/ Sacred

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“ James look out!” Margaret shouted. As he looked

 up he saw the rifleman take aim & fire, a jolt  went

through him  as he realized it was too late to move out

 of the way. He felt something slam into him, as he

fell over he heard a scream of pain as the bullet hit

someone to close.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Character: William Edwards

Emotion: Sacred/worried

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“ James look out!” He heard Margaret shout. He saw her shove James over & watched her twist as the bullet found its target “NO!” he thought as she screamed in pain, “where was she hit!?!” he demanded as he helped James try to find the wound.

“ Oh Lord,” he prayed, “Anyone but her, please help us!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Ok tell me which excerpt you like the best or if I should put both excerpts in my story.

Thanks for reading this!