try this one:

Tim: wanna hear a plane joke?

Tom: Sure why not.

Tim: Never mind, it's probably way over your head.

what! you did'nt think that was funny? okay, but this will keep you laughing for years.

A man walked into a plane and sat down. He heard the loudspeaker say 'this is your automatic captain. Everything is automated in this plane. Automatic snacks, automatic landing gear, automatic everything. You have nothing to fear, nothing can go wrong, ckk, go wrong, ckk, go wrong, ckk, go wrong, ckk, go wrong, ckk, go wrong, ckk, go wrong, ckk, go wrong, ckk, go wrong, ckk, go wrong, ckk, go wrong, ckk, go wrong, ckk, go wrong, ckk, go wrong, ckk, go wrong, ckk...

here's a good one

Q:

Imagine your in a box, chained and on an island. The key to the chain is in water 1000 feet under water, and the water is filled with sharks. The box is on fire. How do you get out?

A:

Stop imagining.

okay, this one's easy:

Q:

A man got ready for work and when he left home he took three left turns and when he came home he found two men in masks. what is his ocupation?

A:

A baseball player.

okay, you've got to get this one:

Q:

A man who lived on the ninty ninth floor of a sky scraper and when he left home he went to the elevator and pressed the button to go to the first floor and went to work.

when he came home he pressed the button to go to the thirty first floor and walked the rest of the way. Why?

A:

He was a midget.

Q:

what kind of game do squirrels play?

A:

chess...nut.

Q:

what do you get when you cross an alligator with a first aid kit?

A:

gator-aid.

Q:

what's the most expensive type of dog?

A:

a golden retriever.

ed:

did you here they started making computers out of wood.

fred:

no.

ed:

they did it so it would be easy to log on.