Sep. 13, 2009 - Starting and Finishing School

Well, my husband has finished his course of study.  He is now a certified Commercial Diver.  He has been home all of one week and we have sent out a dozen resumes to companies all over the North West and North East.  Relocating is highly likely but know that that may not be what God has in store for us.  There are a few companies in our area but it is mainly inland work which could take him away from us more than offshore work.  We are praying for clear direction from the Lord in this regard.  We are also praying for patience.  I found myself getting upset that it was taking so long...and it had only been a week.  I guess since he has been laid-off for almost a year (Oct. 16 will be one year), I am struggling to wait on the Lord.  We know that realistically it may not be until Spring until he gets a job.  Winter is usually down time for most companies in the Northern hemisphere.  I am struggling with accepting where we are right now and accepting life's circumstances, as they are.  God has and will continue to be faithful to us.  I know that He will direct us to the place He wants us...even if it is here in Wisconsin.  I wouldn't mind staying close to family and friends. 

On other news, we have begun our fifth year of homeschooling and this year reflects last with hubby doing the majority of the teaching.  He finds himself overwhelmed and many times, ill-prepared (welcome to parenthood and the problem of all home-school moms :) ).  He struggles with uncertainty, that he is doing enough, teaching enough - sounds familiar! Sweetheart started the fourth grade (boy, how time flies!) and Angel is in 1st grade.  Little Man is in preschool (at home) and enjoys coloring and learning. 

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Jul. 22, 2009 - Months of change

The past few months have flown by and with it so many changes in our lives.  It has been so long since my last post that I am not sure how many of you will actually read this, but I guess that isn't why I'm writing this.  The title of this entry is so fitting and I guess I need to sort out everything, hence the post.  Writing will help me remember and when I look back someday, praise thr Lord for His provision and stong arms to rest in.

After my last post we had many months of waiting for July to come so hubby could leave for his training.  I continued to work part-time and WH finished out the school year with Sweetheart and Angel.  At the end of March, hubby and I found out we were expecting our fifth child.  We were surprised but happy to see this new addition to our family.  The Lord had to work on me the first two or three after I found out.  I felt that we had enough of our life up in the air, not knowing where we would be in the next few months, no job yet and wasn't sure the the timing was right for a new child.  I finally came to accept that a baby would just bring a new element of surprise and excitment.  So, finally accepting this gift from the Lord brought me peace.  I think the resounding lesson I have learned in the past four months is to LOOK TO THE LORD FOR STRENGTH AND GUIDANCE!  He will guide our path and give light in the darkness. 

I continued to work but was plagued with pretty bad morning sickness.  I would get home from work and fall exhausted on the couch.  My WH was truly wonderful! He made dinner and cleaned up and took care of the kids.  I learned to praise the Lord that I was in the beginning stages of pregnancy while he was there to help. 

During this time, my husband's grandfather's health was deterioating fairly quickly.  We felt the Lord wanted us to make a trip to Missouri while we still had the ability to see him.  As these are lean times for us, this was not an easy decison to make.  However, I knew we would regret not going if he did pass away in the near future.  While his grandfather's health stabilized we still planned to go visit.  Right before we left for the trip, my mother called to let me know that my uncle had taken his life.  She was broken-hearted, as you can imagine.  She had been praying for him for so long and it seems he just gave up.  He suffered from Parkinson's and we think he may have fallen into a pit of dispair. 

This began a very long, tiring process of closing his estate.  Packing up his house and cleaning and such....my parent's devoted two months to this task.  It isn't over of course.  Now comes the part of selling what can be sold.  My mother and her sister and parents divided his items between their homes in preparation for selling. 

My last day at work was June 30th.  I wanted to make sure I had plenty of time to get my husband ready to leave us for 8 weeks.  Plus, I wanted undisturbed time with him.  Well, as undisturbed as you can have with four children.  The last day of cleaning out his house came on the first of July.  My parents and my family and my sister (who was visiting from California) all went down to chip in.  It was a bittersweet moment for me.  In the past nine years my uncle had become pretty much a recluse.  My grandparents would visit once or twice a month but he wouldn't even answer the phone.  I have great memories of happy times with him from when I was younger and just a couple memories from after I got married.  I was glad that I could help my family close up his house.

The next day brought a shock that I am still recovering from.  I had my 18 Week appointment scheduled for that morning. I had made plans with my sister to make a cheesecake and asked if she wanted to come over early and watch the kids so that hubby and I could go together.  This would be the last appointment he would go with me to in a long time so I wanted him there.  Unfortuantly she was late and I had to leave without him.  Everything was normal up until they went to check the heart beat.  Not being able to find one. the doctor brought in the ultrasound machine.  My heart started beating harder but I found peace while praying and waiting.  I'm an optimist by nature and wasn't going to bring worry on until we knew for sure.  I figured the baby was being sneaky and hiding.   Not so.  The ultrasound showed there was no heart activity.  Tears started flowing and I was missing my husband more and more.  The doctor said they would do one more ultrasound with the technician to verify but I would have to wait as she was finishing one up.  I asked to call my husband and thankfully my sister was there to watch the kids and he had her car.  He was there within ten minutes and they gave us a couple minutes to grieve together. 

It was confirmed in the ultrasound room that the baby had died.  We were devastated, of course.  So started our journey of bittersweet sorrow.  We checked into the hospital that day.  Not wanting to wait as hubby was due to leave in less than ten days I wanted and needed him there with me for as long as possible.   Going to the hospital for the delivery of your deceased child is so forgein,  I still have not absorbed all that has gone on in the last month.  I was induced and that in itself wasn't so bad.  The delivery of our precious little Sam went without any complications - Praise the Lord.  The whole expierence, while very sad and heart-breaking, was also filled with gladness and praise.  The Lord gave us Sam for the time he was given.  It was very short and we will always miss him but we look forward to seeing him one day when we get to heaven.  Any mother who has lost a child can understand the bittersweet feelings I have. 

We spent the holiday weekend planning our Sam's memorial service and burial.  The memorial service was beautiful and glorified the Lord - exactly as we wanted it.  Of course, we had some obstacles to overcome (mainly our son was throwing up the day of the memorial) but refused to let them deter us from being there and being wrapped in the loving arms of our Heavenly Father and friends and family. 

After the burial on Tuesday, we had to quickly get hubby ready to leave that Sunday.  My parents graciously offered to watch our children so that I could go with my husband the first week.  And believe me, I needed that time with him as much as he needed it with me! For different reasons.  It's not easy going back to school and I was glad to be there to help him adjust.  Also, I needed quiet time to let all the changes sink in.  We had some times of joy and laughter but also shared some moments of grief.  In everything that has happened these last fews months, the greatest gift has been Sam and what he did for my husband and I.  The grief of losing a child can sometimes overwhelm and pull spouses apart.  It only brought my husband and I closer together in a way that we haven't been in years.  Which makes this time apart that much more difficult.  It also opened the door for us to be recipents of so much love and support from our church family and friends.  Words fail to express how much we have appreciated everything that people have done for us.  We are humbled by their generousity and love. 

My husband is into his second week of training and is looking forward to finishing.  We don't know where He plans to take us but are resting in the knowledge that He will show us the way in His time. 

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Mar. 31, 2009 - New Developments on our Home Front

Life around here is still pretty hectic for me! My husband is still unemployed which has given us many opportunities to grow closer to the Lord.  I am still working part-time which isn't terrible.  They are great and work well with any schedule changes.  And lately, we have had many!

At the beginning of the year, my husband was offered a job at a local company.  Unfortunantly, they were going through negotiations and a hiring freeze was put into place.  This was where we truly saw the Lord's hand in guiding us through this life change! Two days after he was offered the job, he was unemployed again.  This would have to be his shortest career ever :). 

Anyway, I'm jumping ahead of myself! Right before this job was offered to him, the company he was laid-off from informed him of an important meeting for all laid-off employees.  The meeting didn't fit into our schedule and so he didn't go.  He was one of only four who didn't make the meeting.  He received a phone call letting him know that he was eligible for retraining or going to school because of the mass lay-off.  He was given a phone number to call.  By this time, he was "hired" at the other company and decided to not pursue the schooling.  I remember praying for the Lord's direction in this.  I was uneasy with hubby taking another unsteady job - we didn't want him to get a job and be laid-off in the near future.  The Lord answers some prayers so quickly.  Like I said, he was only employed for two days!

Thus, we knew where the Lord was directing us.  Under the Trade Act of 1970-something, people who lose their jobs to imports or outsourcing are eligible for retraining.  My husband met with the coordinator and was given a list of things he needed to do and then the waiting began.  In the meantime, we researched careers that hubby would like to pursue.  You see we had to do all the information gathering and such.  We needed to be prepared when the final approval meeting came. 

We celebrated our 10 year anniversary on February 20th and to celebrate we took a trip to Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon.  There my husband mentioned that commercial divers were used to repair and mantain the Hoover Dam.  The seed was planted.  When we got home, WH spent hours (and hours and hours) researching this field.  He received course packets from three different schools that offer commercial diving.  Fortunantly, there is one in Minnesota (pretty close to home).  Now, this wasn't something that we picked out of the sky.  You'd have to understand my husband.  He has been scuba diving for 13 years and was in the Coast Guard - he loves the water!  He often wishes he could dive professionally or have a job on the water.  So, when this opportunity of schooling came up we figured he might as well go for something he's always wanted to do!

We still weren't 100% sure this was where the Lord was steering us.  We've spent alot of time praying and seeking wisdom from the Lord.  Hubby's final meeting for approval was scheduled and we were as prepared as we were going to be.  We had some concerns, though.  As we live in Wisconsin, we weren't sure that the school would be approved (it's in Minnesota).  Also, there is a grant cap and we weren't sure if or what that would cover.  He would need specialized equiptment and gear.  Also, with it being in Minnesota, he would need lodging and we weren't sure if they would pay for that. 

Before the meeting, we prayed together and asked that the Lord either close the door firmly if this wasn't the way He wanted us to go or approve everything if this was His will.  Well, again, we felt the Lord's direction.  We went into the meeting and the lady we met started filling out forms and asking how much everything would cost and such.  It took me about 10 minutes to realize she wasn't just gathering information, she was approving the course! He would be going to school and becoming a commercial diver! We came out of the meeting awed but praising the Lord!

My hubby will be leaving to start school July 12.  It is an 8 week course and he will graduate on September 5th.  It is a very intensive course - they work 10 hours a day for six days.  We will not see him the entire 8 weeks (although, we may go visit). God has been so faithful in all of this.  We have learned patience (although we are far from perfect) and a deeper trust (but have a distance to go).  I just wanted to share this life change with everyone!  And, share about God's faithfulness and provision!

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Mar. 15, 2009 - Happy Birthday, Peanut!

It is hard to believe but my little peanut finally turned two! She is in the 5th % for height so you can understand why she's still our peanut:) She loves dogs, cats, fish, but mainly dogs.  She enjoys singing and imitating everyone.  She is pretty funny to watch as she tries to be big but in such a small package.  She loves to snuggle and has a specific "snuggle spot" with dad in his recliner. 

March 10, 2007 Peanut joined our family.

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Mar. 15, 2009 - A Geography project

Our family participated in a Geography fair this past Thursday.  We only had three weeks to prepare but I think we did a pretty good job! We decided to research New Zealand.  We chose this country because WH was there for two months his senior year of high school and also because they are similar to our country in many ways.  We got a couple books and videos from our library and started learning about the beautiful country.  We also used the internet to decorate our display board.  I also used the internet to find different recipes so that we could have a sample for people to try.  Their "claim to fame" so to speak (at least they claim) is a pavlova.  Unfortuantly, with working, I just didn't have time to make it.  So, I found a website of a woman who once lived in the US but moved to New Zealand.  She posts recipes using the fresh ingrediants found in New Zealand.  New Zealand is submerged with the Europeon culture and they usually have afternoon tea.  So, the recipe I made showcased that fact - afternoon tea.  I made a spin-off of Rice Krispie squares that calls for dates and does not use any marshmellows.  Everyone seemed to enjoy them.  A friend took pictures for me as I forgot my camera.  Hopefully she will send me some and I can post them!

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