You might read this and think that the inspection must have gone very well and life is lovely and all is well. Well-you'd be wrong. Actually, I was running around Monday feeling quite certain that God must hate me. After hearing nothing all day, I got a call that the contract had fallen through. Apparently there is quite a lot of waterproofing that needs to be done. And since that time, we've heard quite a bit of speculation about all kinds of things--such as, the people were trying to find as much wrong with the house as possible so that they could get us to drop our rate further, etc. All speculation aside, something has not smelled right with this whole deal. And now that I've lived two more days since Monday, when I was simply a sniveling puddle, I could almost tell you that I'm glad it's fallen through.

Blessings:

-Before we were given this horrible offer, we didn't know what our rock bottom price was. Now we do.

-I've discovered through much of this that I'd forgotten what Jesus said, "Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves." I'm not sure I've ever understood "wise as serpents." Now I'm beginning to get it.

-I'm recognizing God's hand in my life again--for instance, our realtor has misplaced the packet that I sent her on our house--it has EVERYTHING--all the manuals, receipts, etc. for everything regarding the house. She was sure she never had it. God helped me find it--in the trash bag in the car. I was able to come out with a date and signature for its delivery.

-My friends are WONDERFUL!! They have held my hand, sent me hugs, commiserated and prayed with me through this whole thing. I am experiencing His love through my friends in such a special way.

-Sometimes I just whine to friends when things are bad. But sometimes they are bad enough, that I know I just sound whiny, or I know that nobody else should have to bear the burden I feel I would be placing on them. Then, I find myself at my Lord's feet in a way I am not otherwise. I'm afraid that sometimes my unwillingness to get out of myself and lay myself at His feet leaves Him with no choice but to allow difficult circumstances to lead me there. And there is such a beautiful sweetness in sitting at His feet.

-I finally have "the peace of God" again--I think my will was really getting in the way. I know what _I_ want. And suddenly, I wanted it more than anything else. Now--I don't think the house we're looking at here is outside God's will. And I do want it desperately. BUT I don't want it more than my relationship with Him. AND I know that God knows what's best. I don't. I will trust Him to guide us to the right place. If this "dream home" of ours isn't it, so be it.

Thank you, Lord, for giving me your peace. May I be able to use this situation to witness to others as to your goodness and mercy.

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Posted by HomegrownHearts

I'm so glad you're feeling better now. Or at least dealing with things better.

Here is a version of an affirmation a friend of mine uses for himself all the time - maybe it will help you to repeat it to yourself when things look dreary. "The Creator of the Universe has a perfect plan and purpose for my life and a perfect solution for every situation."

He sees the big picture and I think He's using this situation to bring you nearer to Him. It hurts to be stretched sometimes, but there is a plan and a purpose for it all. Try to focus on Him rather than on the 'junk' swirling around you (I know, easier said than done!) and rest in His peace.

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Posted by Schmind

I was praying for you today and did the typical, "Please God work this deal out for them." But then I felt that wasn't really what I should be praying for. So I prayed that you would just feel peace in all of this, no matter what the outcome.

Thanks for showing me that God really does answer prayer. That little BLOG did a lot for my prayer life and relationship with God!
Thanks!

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Posted by Terry

God often uses a "death to the vision" to draw us closer to Him....and then provide in ways we would never expect...but it is hard to go through it! We will continue to pray!

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Posted by JenIG

oh man, i am sorry to hear you've been having a rough go at it. YUCK ! i know that those are the times when i learn and grow the most, but still... it is never pleasant in the midst of it.
hang in there on those shakey days!
much love, jen

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Posted by kimahrens

I read your Feb. post and understood what you were feeling (through different circumstances). After reading this one I feel terribly convicted. Through all the things that have happened in my life I have never questioned God, but lately with some issues with our oldest, I have been doing the unthinkable of saying "God, what on earth are you trying to do to me?!" I am in a bit of a dry spell in my relationship with him because I have focused too much on my problems and let those concerns fester. Thank you for your post, and I will be praying for you.

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