Is this not confusing? I am talking to the husband, more than ever do I want my kids out of school. We can do this at home, too. I like the Charlotte Mason methode and we have all the books for year 1. The girls are fine with it, but the hubby is not ! So, it's a no-go for now. I am getting unhappy. I'm praying a lot. God didn't answer. Since two years I am praying to be able to homeschool - but they are still in school. I am getting desperate! I am talking to friends, we are praying at the wednesday biblestudies. Nothing! A good friend told me that homeschooling is legal in Belgium. I had check that out before, it sounded pretty good.  I talked to the husband about moving to Belgium that way he could still work in Germany. In theory this worked. He didn't think so. And it was true, lately he had been working in Berlin where we live. Normally he worked during the week in Bremen and came home for the weekend. So why not come home to Belgium ! It is the same distance from Bremen whether he would go to Berlin or to Belgium. But what if he would be working in Berlin now? Finally he would be able to come home every night, that's what we wanted for a long time. His company wants people to move closer to work not further away. No, that was not in the plan either.... God, what do I do? What do you want me to do? Maybe I should just go by myself with the children? A friend from my biblestudy group reminded me that God wants me to obey my husband. Yes, I know....but....I must obey, must obey.....

I read quite a few books. I read in my bible, I prayed , I read my bible some more. Well, I love my husband with all my heart and I don't want to hurt him by leaving him. I enjoy him coming home every night. We are like a normal family again, that feels good. I did pray for that and God supplied. No, I don't have any right to destroy that. Slowly I began to realize that God wanted to show me that my focus had changed. Yes, I read the bible and prayed but most of my time was spend trying to find ways to take the kids out of school. Something else God showed me was that I didn't trust him. Everyday I worried about the girls. Didn't God tell us not to worry? Yes, but....nothing but, that had to change.

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