• I set a time limit with things I'm not in the mood to do. 

Most of us can do something for 15 or 20 minutes that we aren't interested in - people usually devote that much to a movie or television show before giving up on it.  So, I look at a clock and tell my daughter I'll do this for 20 minutes, but then I have to get on with something else. 

 

Of course, I do "fudge," usually in my daughter's favor.  Maybe I actually get into the story, game, or whatever, and end up staying longer.  That's OK, but I gave her a reasonable amount of time up front to do with her what she wanted.

 

An similar alternative to the time limit, suggested by another homeschooling mom of one, is to offer two choices *you* can enjoy at the moment.  You'll play x or y, and those are the options.

 

This has a couple of benefits in that the choices are yours and you feel like doing them.  It also eliminates the need for the child to make a decision about what to do.  They usually gravitate to the same things, either out of habit or because it worked yesterday...  Offering an option chosen by Mom may add some spark to their day by changing-up what they would normally do and moving them into a different interest or activity that you'll both enjoy.  (Thanks, Dana!)

• I find a way to participate without really participating. 

I am the "official Pony hairstylist."  I don't get into the storytelling that much, though I love to listen. And I don't mind organizing their stuff, brushing their hair, or braiding.  So, I sit on the sidelines and do this type of "maintenance" while Kate goes on about the other things that go on in Ponyland.

 

• I have Kate bring her things to where I need to work and I watch.

This works exceptionally well if the play session looks like it might take a while.  We bring the toys to the kitchen, usually, and I supervise while I do whatever it is that needs doing.  My work usually takes a bit longer than it would have to, but we're both satisfied.  Kate knows I'm paying attention, I'm not down there on the floor for the whole event, and there's no guilt about "things undone."

 

• I buy toys that interest me!

Admittedly, this is a big fun part about children, right?  You can be a kid again and play with their stuff.  I adore Legos, ball drops, Zome Tools, and making doll clothes, among other things. 

 

Also, because our "play" interests are so very different, I can help my daughter use skills and such that are a bit outside her normal choices.  And, once we start, she usually gets into whatever we're doing because we're doing it together.

 

As I evaluate toys or games to bring into the house, I consider whether my husband or I would enjoy playing with it.  If we wouldn't, then most likely we aren't going to want to play with her using it.  Then, the game or toy becomes a source of disappointment, rather than fun.

 

Obviously, not everything works this way, but it certainly helps.

 

• Explore the (less than) obvious in games.

Somehow, I didn't consider board games or card games for my daughter for a long while because she couldn't read.  I then discovered that there were so many card games that didn't require reading - Solitaire, Uno, and Old Maid to start with, plus other picture card games.

 

And then there's checkers and plenty of other board games besides "Chutes and Ladders" and "Candyland."  Some favorites here are chess (Kate insisted on learning at about 5 1/2) and Mancala - which is a great game for practicing simple counting.

 

Jigsaw puzzles are great, too!  Even the simple 24 piece puzzles can be a challenge if you have races with your child to see who can finish it first.  Ravensburger makes great puzzles with intermediate numbers of pieces (35, 60, 150) to transition from easy puzzles to harder ones.

 

Don't forget Sodoku - there are children's versions with 2x2 squares rather than 3x3 that most children can learn.  The "dots and boxes" game is another fun one to play with children.

 

• Finally, take up, or share, a hobby with your child.

Most of us aren't going out on the dance stage or soccer field with our children.  But, we can share an activity with them that can become part of our special time with them. 

 

My daughter and I collect postage stamps.  I've been collecting since I was about nine; Kate since she was around 4 1/2.  She loves looking at the miniature pictures, finding the countries on a map, and evaluating whether a stamp is worth keeping or not. 

 

While Kate sorts through my extra stamps and learns things -"Who was this guy, Mom?" - I can work on my own albums and share the enthusiasm with her.

 

This could easily be translated to other hobbies, though.  Birding, music (small children often do well at outdoor concerts which are more informal), hiking, martial arts, baseball cards, pottery - the list seems endless.  The trick is to find the way for them to join you in your "adult" hobby, but at their level. 

 

For Kate, I just gave her a pile of stamps and told her to choose the ones she liked.  Then, she sorted the "keep" pile into catgories (animals, birds, fish, etc.).  Then, we put them in envelopes.  She still isn't quite ready to deal with albums, hinges, perforation rules and such, but she's got "her" stamps and loves to look at them and sort through more as I can provide them to her.

 

I think that all too often parents of only children are worried about finding "other children" for their onlies to play with.  So playdates, homeschool groups, and other activities start to crowd the schedule.

However, constantly shuttling a child from one activity to the next doesn't seem like the way to teach them to be self-reliant, independent, and able to make themselves content when there's no one else around.

It's important to remember that one of the primary reasons many of us homeschool is so that, as parents, we control the types of socialization that our children are exposed to.  Thrusting them into a variety of group situations so they aren't "alone" may be counterproductive to that goal.

It's not always easy to find your "inner child" on demand.  After being cooped up on a rainy day and then your spouse is late coming home from work, playing just might not be in the cards.  And that's OK.

But, at other times, the invitation from your child to play may be a hidden invitation from God to slow down and enjoy the special single blessing you've been given.  And that's way more than OK.