Posted in On Our Journey

Too bad I'm not into customizing my blog with music.  I'd find something really bluesy to go with this post because, like all good blues tunes, we saw it comin' and we couldn't stop the train wreck. 

We survived a week of DD attending summer day camp.  Sigh.

Without a doubt it was a great experience for her.  It was a drama camp, held daily for one week, from 9am to 5pm.  Monday morning they auditioned parts and Friday evening they put on the performance.  It was intense, but the participants - all 45 of them - did an amazing job!

However, and it's probably just me, but I don't quite see how families survive this, especially if one extrapolates it from one week to nine MONTHS of the year.

And, in fact, I'm quite sure it was *much* better than a typical school year.  Except for the exhaustion (more on that later), DD was quite happy to get up and go again the next morning.  It was all fun and she was enjoying it with two friends while she was there.  I didn't have to beg her to get up at least.

But, oy vey!  The evenings were terrible! 

I finally figured out that we were all suffering from "re-entry" issues.  At first, I only applied my thinking to DD, but later I realized it was all of us.

Of course, on a daily basis, DH has to adjust from being at work, where he's the "boss" and pretty much able to control all the details and issues, to being at home, where *I* have been the "boss" for the majority of the day.  Handing over control to him, yet retaining some consistency, has always been a bit of a challenge for all three of us.  However, it comes down to having DH come home to DD and myself.  So, it's one person re-entering the family unit.

However, for this week, we had DD off doing her thing as well.  And for the day, she was, essentially, one of "many."  Yes, she was assigned specific tasks, a group to work with, etc.  But, for the most part, she was autonomous and one of a group.  Even the ride home, with two friends and another parent, she was still in a different, though transitional, dynamic. 

But, then, as soon as she hits the door, she's our daughter, with all the usual, normal, routine expectations.  And, being an only child, the focus of many questions, hugs, and general, pointed, interest.  As she later pointed out, "It's a shock to the system." 

And, let's not forget.  For the week, she was keeping the hours of a full-time job - 9-5.  While I tried to get her into bed early enough, there was the conflict with finding time to do things with us in the few hours we had.  Many of our usual family bonding activites, like a trip to the pool, were out.  There simply wasn't time and, as the week wore on, DD was simply too tired to add that extra exercise into the day. 

And, there's Mom. Here I am, suddenly, with time.  Time that DH insists that I view as, predominantly, "free time."  And, I tried.  I really did.  I read books - in the daylight, with no booklight!  I watched two (2) movies.  I caught up on some paperwork, did some research on various household matters, and held conversations with myself, and God - without interruption.  I drank a whole Starbucks Mocha without having to share.

It was an eerie preview of the "empty nest" as well as a welcome break from the routine.  I commented to DH later that it was a bit scary how easy it was to get used to having DD gone for the entire day.   

However, the circumstances also created for me a time of transition as well.  I found that having my "peace and quiet" suddenly shattered by folks coming home, bringing mail to deal with, questions to answer, and with demands to fulfill, was jarring.  It's not that I didn't welcome my family home; I just needed time to adjust to their presences after nine hours of being alone.  I never quite figured out how to make that adjustment easily.

So, it was rough.  We squabbled a bit, I'm sorry to say.  DD was *extremely* defensive about anything that suggested she wasn't "autonomous" and able to do things for herself.  Surprise.  She'd spent all day "doing for herself" and suddenly it seemed she was no longer capable.  DH expected "normal" and got anything but, which is always upsetting.  And I seemed unable to shift gears, finding the continual distractions and disruptions of my lines of thought just so "rude."  :)

However, it's over.  [Insert happy dance here.] 

The performance was wonderful.  DD had a great time and learned quite a lot.  Hopefully, her parents did, too.

And, if time helps us to forget some things (though I distinctly remember loads of details regarding labor and giving birth to DD, so I'm dubious), perhaps we'll let DD do another week-long camp next year.

Perhaps....