Our new featured artist is Edie Carey and her song "If I Start to Cry" really touches a cord in me when I hear it. Because I have only heard part of the song being that cdbaby carries a two minute preview (which is actually pretty darn good!), I didn't get the whole jist of the song until I read about the album. It appears to be about a young girls who is facing some very painful questions as she reflects on her mother and father's divorce.
got so much to ask you
It's never the time
Why would I spoil a perfect evening?
We've gotten this far on being polite
Besides, I know you're proud of me
When I was made
Did they leave out a part?
Did you know this and choose to guard the secret?
You said everybody's born with a beautiful heart
Well, what was wrong with hers and
Why did you leave it?
If I start to cry, I may not stop
Love runs dry, I run off
Can you help me with this heart inside my chest?
It ain't perfect, but you should see me use it
But it only works when I make a mess
When it looks like I'm about to lose it
If I start to cry, I may not stop
Love runs dry, I run off
Yeah I'm just like my mother
Yeah I'm just like my mother
And if you don't love her,
What does that mean about me?
If I start to cry, I may not stop
I wanna know why I run off
I wanna know why I'm like this
I wanna know why
After reading the full lyrics, the impact from this song is so much deeper for me. These are issues my eight-year-old daugther is experiencing on only a superficial level at this point in her life, but I can see that through the continued absence of her birth father that she will have hard questions like this in the future. Despite the absolutely wonderful father she has now in my husband, the tears of confusion and insecurity will have the ability to plague her heart. I have and will continue to pray against this. This song did such an outstanding job of simplifying the web of emotions behind such a heart and it touched me deeply. There are far too many children from broken homes today, but that simply means that we need not forget to address their hurts with validation and consolation through their Father who will never abandon them.
"Lord, I pray your hand of protection over our children. I pray that your secure and loving arms will be an ever-present comfort to their hurting hearts. I pray for the ability to be parents that reflect your love and not our own sense of pain. Dear God, one day our children will have the ability to speak their heart's hurt and I pray that they are confident enough in our love for them that they will speak it to us and we pray for the wisdom to be exactly what they need in that moment. Lord, we love you and thank you that you are not plagues with sin and selfishness as we are. Thank you that we can trust you to be everything you have promised...for all eternity. Amen"
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• Jan. 20, 2006 - I am from a divorced family...
If I can offer just one bit of advice, I hope that I am speaking out of line, answer her questions about her dad. I wasn't allowed to ask questions, so I had to get my answers from everyone but my parents.
Chrissy