My Weirdo Wacky Survey Thingy...
If you could be anywhere right now, where would it be and why?
With Whom?
Would you rather eat mayonnaise out of a jar with a spoon or go skinny-dipping in a public swimming pool?
Man, you're sick... (Me: I'm glad I don't have to answer that question, hehe....)
What is your cell phone greeting?
OMG!!! you don't have a cell phone?!?
How well do you think you know yourself, and if you think you know yourself so well, what kind of person are you?
Most people I know couldn't answer that one...I'm pretty slick...
What is your (most common) last thought as you go to sleep at night?
When you think about something as you go to sleep, do you normally dream about whatever it is?
Why did you choose to take my survey?
*Tear* I feel so touched that you remembered me...
Anyways...if you had to pick, prep or punk...which would you pick?
You're into labels? That is so dumb!
So....say the bathroom door is locked and you're taking a shower...Suddenly, you hear a bone-chilling voice coming from the vent, saying...something really scary...What would you do?
So...what's your cell phone ringer anyway?
Oh, I forgot...you don't have a cell phone...Sorry about that...
Do you like sparkly things? Why or why not?
You're heartbroken...how do you handle it?
What is the WORST smell in the world to you?
The best?
I'll bet now you're wondering who I am...I am the GREAT and POWERFUL...oh, you weren't? Oh, sorry...just thought you might want to know...
Were you wondering who I am...even for a second?
Do I look fat in this dress?
GOTCHA!!! Ha...I'm not wearing a dress...I'm wearing my wonderful Happy Bunny t-shirt.
It's really sad how I think I'm funny when I'm really not...Don't you think?
Well enough about me...what about YOU???
We're nearing the end of the quiz...sadly. I cannot come up with any more stupid questions. How do you feel about that?
Adios, Amigos...
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

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  I got these quiz results for a Harry Potter quiz I took...I was rather delighted by them, lol...

You scored as . Hermione Granger 65% Harry Potter 65% Ron Weasley 60% Sirius Black 55% Remus Lupin 55% Albus Dumbledore 55% Ginny Weasley 50% Lord Voldemort 50% Severus Snape 50% Draco Malfoy 50% Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...? created with QuizFarm.com

Comment telling me how true you think these results are...

You scored as Fun. Your fun fun fun! Please rate my quiz! Outgoing 81% Fun 81% Dramatic 50% Nice 44% Immature 25% Shy 19% mean 19% what kind of person are you? (shy,outgoing,fun,mean,immature,dramatic or nice?) created with QuizFarm.com

  I like these results, too...

You scored as Merry. You like to live life to the full and that includes having a little fun at the expense of others.  But when the situation arises you are as bold and brave as any great warrior. Merry 81% Eowyn 75% Aragorn 69% Faramir 63% Frodo 63% Galadriel 56% Sam 56% Pippin 56% Legolas 50% Gollum 44% Your Lord of The Rings Alter Ego Is...? created with QuizFarm.com

  I think these quiz results are just right...I haven't heard the song, 'Don't' but Since You Been Gone is definitely my theme song...kind of (my real theme song is probably Audience of One or Majesty or something like that, but whatever). Miss Independent is also pretty accurate!

You scored as Since U Been Gone. You're out of your slump and moving on strong. You regret not letting go of the other person sooner. Don't (on next album) 63% Since U Been Gone 63% Miss Independent 56% Breakaway 56% Low 56% Come Here 56% A Moment Like This 44% Because Of You 38% Just Missed The Train 31% Hear Me 31% I Hate Myself For Losing You 31% Beautiful Disaster 25% Addicted 13% Behind These Hazel Eyes 13% What Kelly Clarkson song r u? created with QuizFarm.com

  Pleasantly Surprised...

You scored as Daphne. You're Inner Scooby Doo character is Daphne! you are girly, ditzy, but you work just as hard as the others and try to prove people wrong who think you aren't smart or brave. Daphne 60% Shaggy 55% Fred 55% Scrappy 55% Scooby-Doo 45% Velma 40% What Scooby Doo Character is inside you??(Pics) created with QuizFarm.com

  As usual...I always get Gryffindor on these quizzes, and every time I take a Harry Potter character quiz, I almost ALWAYS get Harry Potter...or I tie Harry and Hermione.

You scored as Gryffindor. Congratulations, you scored Gryffindor! You are courageous, nice, loving, and have a huge knack for adventure and fun, you love a thrill. Gryffindor students range from many different appearances and actions but they all are people who won't lose without a fight and are very brave. Gryffindor 63% Hufflepuff 58% Ravenclaw 54% Slytherin 42% HOGWARTS SORTING HAT!!!(PICS) created with QuizFarm.com

  On Friday night, and yesterday, I went to my first purity retreat with PureFreedom, and I LOVED it!
  On Friday night, the girls and guys that went to the retreat were together for a worship service and talent show (the talent show by the way, was not for singers and people with common talents...this talent show was for people who could do strange things with their bodies and voice), and the most I got out of it that night was that some guy with blond hair could pull off a really great Gollum impression...other than that all I remembered about it was that the music wasn't to my taste.
  Still, I wasn't pessimistic about it...somehow I got the feeling that things would improve the next day, when the girls and guys were separated.
  How right I was!
  Not to say that guys are bad or anything, but when there's a big group of females together, it's much more personal. You can cry in front of people you don't know, and know that the girl next to you is probably getting ready to cry too. It's such a tender, warm, personal atmosphere. I feel like I know girls I didn't even talk to on that retreat.
  So we get there the next day, having gotten out of bed too early for my liking, and go into the entrance that they said would be the sanctuary where the girls were going to hang out. I was feeling a little more alert by the time we got into the sanctuary and sat down in the second row because I had downed an iced frapuccino I grabbed at a gas station.
  The other girls (meaning Colleen, Tayva, Brenna, and Kaitlyn) and I chatted for awhile until one of the speakers (whose name I don't remember, but was really cool) got up on the stage and...I can't remember exactly what she said, but I think she basically laid out a little bit of what we were going to do that day.
  Before I knew it we were outside heading out to another part of the church we were in (it was a big church, and we were headed for the second building, I belive). We made our way through a gym, and through a few hallways that led to a big room that was dimly lit...all around there were round tables with white tablecloths, decorated beautifully with teacups and saucers at every seat...there were chocolates and expensive tea party roll-up cookie type things...I have NO idea what they were, but I get the feeling they were something fancy...
  I nearly squealed at the sight of it, lol...it was awesome!
  The next half hour or so we spent getting hand massages (given by a lady who adopted us into her group because we did not have an adult leader) with WONDERFUL smelling lotion...I really wanted to find out what kind it was and where I could get it, but I never found out. I drank my tea and ate the 'fancy stuff' slowly because I felt so pampered and wanted it to last. It was very nice...
  Then this really cool blond lady named Laura got up on the small stage that was in the room and started speaking to us about our priceless value. She said each and every one of us girls were like priceless teacups, and basically (in so many words) she said that there were three types of ways we could allow ourselves to be treated by guys and by ourselves (mostly this pertained to sexuality, and how you let guys treat you), and those were styrofoam cup, ceramic mug, and priceless teacup. A styrofoam cup is completely trashable...if you treat yourself and let guys treat you like a styfrofoam cup, a guy can like you one day, dump you the next, and it won't really hurt him one bit. Trashable. If you let yourself be treated and let guys treat you like a ceramic mug, then it might hurt a little to let you go, but he can find someone else. It won't hurt him too much. I mean...think about it...if you dropped a ceramic mug and it broke, you'd have to clean it up and it's worse than having to throw away a styrofoam cup, but it's not the end of the world. It's not like breaking something totally valuable. Semi-valuable, Semi-trashable. Now a priceless teacup is a girl who makes a guy work for her heart...someone who is hard to get, and it would hurt to lose her. Valuable.
  Coming out of that tea party (that sounds so babyish, but I mean...that's what it was! A tea party!) I was in such a romantic mood. Totally motivated to stay pure, and all that jazz.
  The next half hour to an hour we spent back in the sanctuary talking about how girls relate to each other...how girls are really mean to each other. One girl will try to up her confidence by saying another girl is fat, or calling her one of three names I have right at the top of my head...They'll talk bad about one girl behind her back, then kiss her on the cheek and give her a big hug the next time she sees her.
  The cool-lady (that is what I'll call her since I can't remember her name) read us some of her old diary entries that shocked her. One of them literally went like this.
 
  Dear Diary-
  I'm so glad the school year is over. No more Tammy, and no more Gigi...I'm not sorry I called Gigi a ______ because she is one.
 (I think this was followed by more Gigi-bashing, lol).
  I don't know why people talk bad about me. I love God more than anything.
  I love God!
 
  Everyone in the audience gasped. She said, "Go ahead and gasp. It's bad, I know," and proceeded to make fun of herself for awhile.
  The next thing she did was to ask all of the girls to separate into 3 groups, and surrender different things. One group was for the mean girls...the girls making fun of other girls. The ones who were causing pain. The second group was the girls who were on the receiving end...the ones who had been made fun of and victimized. The next group was for the girls that were comfortable. She challenged all the girls to either surrender to God their bad habits of being a 'mean girl' and victimizing others, surrender their pain to God, or to step out of their comfort zone and help people who were hurting if you were not.
  As for me...I was a little bit of everything. Mostly comfortable, so that's where I want, even though I have a habit of being pretty mean when I don't like someone. The last one...Luckily, I have never really been picked on to the point where I don't want to go on, and even when I am picked on and it hurts me, it is usually done out of love, and I get over it...when a girl is being dumb and badmouthing me for no reason, I usually get mad instead, but I have been in that group of girls who have been picked on and talked about...to a degree.
  After that little exercise, we breaked for lunch. It was REALLY good, too...we went back out to the 'Tea Party Room' and everyone got a really big, DELICIOUS brownie, a little bad of tater chips, and of course, a chicken sandwich with pickles. Lunch was SOOOOOOO good...
  After lunch, we spent the rest of the afternoon doing little things like talking about modesty...watching modest fashion shows, hearing testimonies, and receiving one real pearl each in exchange for surrendering our 'fake ones' (meaning addictions, obsessions, bad relationships, whatever is hindering your relationship with God) written down on a piece of paper. Also, we listened to each other's testimonies and stuff. One girl who was part of the worship band gave her testimony about her relationship with a dad she barely knows...it had us all crying (like I said, with the girls there was a very tender atmosphere), and it was even worse when she started singing a song she wrote about it. She has an AWESOME voice...
  So anyway, towards the end of the day, I went to the bathroom...I think there was a lot of evidence that the speakers who were talking to the guys must have had a lot to say about respecting a girl...They must have challenged the guys to hold the door for a girl at least once in the next...however many days, because I came out of the girls bathroom to find a bunch of guys having just come out of their conference room and waiting to go back into the girl's sanctuary (and the main one). There was this guy just standing there holding the door to the sanctuary, looking at me like he was waiting to accomplish something great...I kind of looked at him weird because of the way he was standing there just looking and waiting, lol, but if I had known that all the guys were so eager and ready to be a gentleman, I would have smiled at him and said, "Thank you," loudly and waltzed on in. Especially after that conference.
  The door thing happened a few more times to all of our little group...it was great to watch guys who were so eager to be a gentleman that they'd actually inconvenience one of the girls by rushing to the door in front of her and saying, "Don't open the door! I'll get it!" lol it was hysterical...
  The rest of the day was great. We had a funny speaker who had been with the guys all day who did a really funny impression of Adam and Eve.
  I'd like to go to one of those conferences again someday...it was a life-changing experience, and I strongly recommend that you go to one...this thing is great for almost any age group.
 
  After we left the conference, we went to Laura's house. She just got home from Arizona after 2 months of being there and some people had planned a surprise party for her...it lasted 4 hours, and I was there for 2 or 3. There was great food there, and it was awesome to see Laura, not to mention a ton of my old church friends again.
  It was April Fool's Day yesterday, in case you didn't know...so as soon as I got there, Kameron came up to me and said, "Kendra, we're playing an April Fool's joke on Laura...we're going to tell her you're my girlfriend."
  It was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO gross acting like I liked Kameron, but the response we got from Laura was great. She kept telloing me, "I can't believe it!" and saying, "That's gross, Kendra! I'm just kidding...it's cute," even though I know she really did think it was gross. Lol...we only could have pulled that off with Laura. Luckily, it worked for awhile because most people played along, but then my sister suggestively reminded Laura what day it was, Laura guessed it, and Kaitlyn gave it away.
  It truly was funny, though.
  Other than that, we hung out inside, watched Laura open presents, and I got to see people I haven't seen in awhile which was awesome...I miss my Sarah Lee and Brittany so much!
 

You scored as Nicole Kidman. You are most like Nicole Kidman. You have a natural elegance and poise that is rare nowadays. Your grace and quiet nature makes you pure and almost angelic. You style is more classic than trendy, but you always look good no matter what you wear. You're sophisticated, focused, and beautiful, and the world needs more of your kind of beauty. Nicole Kidman 72% Beyonce 67% Gwen Stefani 67% Eva Longoria 56% Kate Bosworth 45% Angelina Jolie 45% Carmen Electra 44% Paris Hilton 17% What Beautiful Celebrity are You? (pictures) created with QuizFarm.com

  Here's the results I got to a quiz I took. I'm happy with my results...mostly because I'm LEAST lke Paris Hilton, hehe...



  These are pictures/blinkies I got from my sister. She has a blinkie site on one of her neopet's pet pages, and I thought these were awesome, so I stole them (actually she urged me to take some, hehe).
  If you want to look at the blinkies she's made, and take some for yourself, click one of the blinkies...they are links back to the site.

  More quiz results...

You scored as Cinderella. Your alter ego is Cinderella! You often find yourself doing a lot of housework, but if you are patient, your hard work usually pays off. You are prone to losing things, so dont rush through everything. Cinderella 75% Ariel 69% Goofy 69% Sleeping Beauty 69% Peter Pan 56% Donald Duck 50% The Beast 50% Snow White 31% Pinocchio 31% Cruella De Ville 31% Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego? created with QuizFarm.com

  All day I have been in one foul mood.
  Not necessarily mean or angry (though those are side effects), but completely impossible to satisfy. I feel as if I could have everything I ever wanted and I would still sit on my throne and glower at it.
  I don't know why I am like this. It seems like if you want to be happy, you should just be able to put a smile on and everything else would fall into place, but NOOOOOO...I get into a mood and I can't get out.
  It's probably because even the little things I want are just out of reach...
  Ah, well...Hopefully I'll be a little more easygoing tomorrow...

  I went to a  concert last week!!!
  It was SOOOOOO much fun!
  Okay...I'm not going to give you elaborate details (this time) because I'm too tired. I will, however, post pictures, and comment on them.

  It's really too bad this picture isn't bigger, because it's the only one we have of us with the band...but whatever.
  In the front row, from left to right, is Brenna, Kaitlyn, Tiffy, Me, Tayva, and Colleen (who has a black square for a head for safety reasons, hehe...).
  In the back row is the band!!! (Hawk Nelson...not the only band we saw, but the one I'm most excited about seeing again after going to that concert). The one on the far left is named Jason, and he's the lead singer...I don't know who the guy next to him is, but the guy right behind me, in the green jacket (just like me) is Johnathan Steingard...trust me, he's the cutest one, too!!!
  While he was signing my autograph, he told us that they were going to Sheetz after the concert. I wanted to go see them there SOOOOO bad. We did go to Sheetz, but we didn't stay there long enough to see them.
  MAN he's cute...just to demonstrate that point, I'm going to put more pictures of him.

  In case you're wondering, I cut out half of this picture. This was originally a picture of him with a costar from "Yours, Mine, and Ours", but I didn't like that movie, and besides, I wanted a picture of HIM not HER. Lol...
  Isn't he cute, though?
  I think my taste in guys has changed...
 
  Besides meeting all these cute guys, that was one of the best concerts I've ever been to. I just can't even describe it. Great special effects, food, lots of good artists...it was just a GREAT night. *Sigh*

  I'm not going to blog about going to the Hawk Nelson until I have their pictures in the perfect sizes and to my complete satisfaction, so in this entry I will just whine about how sick I've been these past few days.
  I have been SOOOOOOOOO sick. Sick as a dog, really. I woke up on Monday morning feeling so weird, and coughing. So I sat on the couch for awhile before anyone else was awake, and then decided I felt badly enough that I wanted to whine about it. So I got up and told mom how badly I was feeling, and she said I probably had the flu. She took my temperature and it came back 102 degrees.
  It only got worse from there.
  I had chills and aches in my back that first day. I laid around and watched movies in mom's bed...quite enjoying the leisure time except for the discomfort of being sick. I didn't think it felt unbearable until the next day. I knew as soon as I woke up that I wouldn't be able to stand up hardly at all...on my way out to the living room, I literally almost blacked out. Every step I took more black clouded my vision, and I had to make a dash for the couch before I fainted. It was not good.
  Needless to say, all I did that day was lay around. My family was pretty sympathetic. Especially my mom. She waited on me hand and foot...as for the rest of the family, all I had to do to get something I needed/wanted was look at them with that, 'you-never-know-this-could-be-my-last-request' look and say, "Could you hand me that tissue?" and they'd do it. Hehe...
   I did get pretty far into the book I'm reading...I guess that's a plus.
   I thought I felt well enough to go see King Kong last night...and I guess I did until I was actually in the movie theater. Then I felt like my head was about to explode and the chills in my back erupted...
  Every time I took 2 advil though, the pain would almost instantly go away. So if you get what I had, take advil. I mean, assuming it's healthy for you and everything...
  But anyway...yeah. I've been pretty miserable these past few days. I'm feeling a bit better though.
 

  Yesterday, we were invited over to Willy's house for a get-together with some friends (Mikaela, Stephanie, Tayva, Kaitlyn (my sister) and John) to watch a new anime' movie called 'Howl's Moving Castle'.
  We got there, ate snacks, and immediately started watching the movie, which was great! It was either my first or second favorite anime' movie...not that I've watched a million of them, but I've seen my fair share...
  Afterwards, we made plans to go to the 'river', which is across the road from Willy's development. We got ourselves together and walked down the hill to go to the park, which was right beside the river, and then into the woods, which was right beside the park...
  Before yesterday, we'd never been farther than the woods. There's a creek (stemming from the river) running through the woods, and we'd never gotten across it to go any further. This time, Willy and John (big, strong, strapping young men...) picked up this heavy board and carried it to the creek with us...They made a few attempts to position the board to be a perfect bridge (during those attempts getting the board all wet and very slippery looking), and finally succeeded. I allowed almost everyone else to go before me, seeing how they would hold up while standing on the slippery part...They did fine, and so I followed...
  I made it to the other side alive...
  Next came the first climb. There is this ledge on the other side of the creek that goes up, and you have to either climb it to get to the top. There were two ways to climb it...One where you go more around it, climbing a dirt slope...that way is more safe. The next one included climbing the side of it, using the strong roots of an emaculate tree positioned on the ledge. Me, being the Gryffindor that I am, (hehe) chose the roots. I'd never done a lot of climbing before yesterday...boy did that change, hehe! =)
  Once everyone was up on the bank, we walked along the side for awhile until we got to another part of the river where two men were fishing...they were kind of creepy because they wouldn't take their eyes off us, but Willy was nice to them, and so they ended up being nice.
  Right beside where the men were fishing, there was a parking lot where a bunch of people were, and we walked past them, and started going up into the mountain that was right beside it...This whole time, I don't think any of us except Willy and John, and possibly Mikaela knew where we were going. All we knew was that we were following Willy, who was unusually good at scaling large heaps of rock.
  The first 'task' (wow I watched Harry Potter 4 too much lol) was climbing this big pile of rocks...I will just call it a small mountain. I thought I could just walk around it, but ONE, I couldn't figure out where it started and where it stopped...it was very confuzzling, and TWO I thought it would have been unadventurous of me to go around. That was only the first of many 'mountains' like that. By the time we reached our destination (basically a clearing where you could see the river and a lot of beautiful things at the top) I was saying, "Anyone have an inhaler?" I have excercise induced asthma, but since I don't have really bad asthma, I don't usually bother carrying around an inhaler...Hehe! I survived though.
  I don't know if it was scarier going up, or down...Going down was steep a lot of times, and you thought you were going to slip on stuff, and at one point, there was this HUGE clearing, and if you had slipped on the dirt, it was so steep going down to the river that had anyone fallen, they probably would have died...so...down? I dunno. It was fun anyway.
  It was a great workout. I felt very satisfied when I was done, and it was pretty thrilling doing all that climbing for the first time, too.
 
 

  I think I finally made my way through the confusion and finally know some of what I'm feeling.
  It's not depression, because I don't have that feeling of hopelessness.
  It's just plain sadness. This is a very sad time in my life. Papa is dying, I'm leaving the place I've lived since I was 4, and I'm having to let go of attachments, and face the fact that there are some things I just can't change. If something happened, it happened. It's in the past, and the only thing I can do is face it.
  The difference between sadness and depression, at least for me, is that I feel hope when I'm sad, and when you're depressed, it feels like there's no point in waking up the next morning. I know I will get through this, and I won't be sad forever.
  One song that perfectly describes what I'm feeling is 'Life Ain't Always Beautiful', by Gary Allan.

  Lately, I've been thinking about Heaven a lot.
  I guess this is because Papa may be dying soon. I've felt sorry for him up until recently...I guess I forgot that his life is not over when he dies. It slips my mind so easily. I slack up in my Christian walk because I forget that there is more beyond this life...that oneday I'm going to be rewarded...that being a Christian is more than being good, denying yourself, and spreading the gospel...I think of Jesus as a character in a fairy tale story...someone that's a part of who I was as a child, but not someone I will ever meet.
  The other day, I was listening to country radio, and a song called, 'When I get where I'm Going' came on. I started crying...Partly because it saddened me to think of Papa leaving to be in Heaven and never coming back, of having to wait to meet him there; But mostly I cried out of joy. For the first time in a long time, I realized that once Papa dies, it's not over. We are both Christians, and oneday I'm going to be where he is. Not only am I going to see Papa again, but I'm going to see him as I've never seen him before...Stronger, happier, and better in every sense of the word.
  Here are the lyrics to the chorus of the song that really got me thinking...

  If you voted that Simon Cowell is more popular than Saddam Hussein in my poll, you're wrong.
  Here's my logic...At least Saddam Hussein might be popular in other parts of the world. Simon Cowell is hated here, and everywhere else too!!!

            Tough one, huh?
 
  Oh, and by the way...since you're online, please stop my mom's blog ( homeschoolblogger.com/jewls2texas ) and post a comment saying happy birthday, ok? Obviously, today is her birthday...

  Check out my results to this colorquiz as well...this thing scares me because it's so accurate!!! (except for certain tiny, miniscule inaccuracies).

Kendra took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Seeks success, stimulation, and a life full of exp..." Click here to read the rest of the results.

  DON'T FORGET TO PRAY FOR PAPA!!!

  I'm back.
  I hardly know how to feel. For one, I'm REALLY tired (to the point of craziness, actually), and second, I got so emotionally involved in Texas, I love it just as much as I love WV now, and it's hard to know whether I feel relieved to be back at home, or like I'm at a strange place. I'm mentally exhausted because of all the confusion of being at the airport one minute, completely knocked out the whole time I'm flying, and then suddenly back in Maryland. How did it all happen so fast?
  On the plane, I stayed awake just long enough to look at the big, beautiful, billowy clouds, then, for the first time while being on an airplane, pulled my shutter down and went to sleep for almost the whole rest of the trip, which was extremely weird. Imagine falling asleep in Texas and waking up around Maryland!!! I finally woke up about 30 minutes before we landed to the sound of the Flight Attendant's voice asking my sister if she wanted more soda. "Whoa!" I said randomly as I woke up. I felt so weird...I felt like I did after I came out of surgery and was all fuzzy from the drugs. The flight attendant was really nice, and she looked pretty amused by my sudden awakening. My mom says she tried to talk to me at that time, but all I remember was saying, "Whoa!" a few times, then, "Can I get a coke?" to the stewardess.
  I was so happy to see Tayva for the first time in FOREVER when I finally got out of the airport. I practically threw myself at her, bags and all...lol.
  I managed to stay alert on the way home, then through dinner, but after that, my mom asked me if I wanted to come into her room to watch a documentary with her...I said yes, because it sounded interesting and went in.
  I can honestly say that today has been one of the weirdest days of my life. One minute I'm sitting there watching this video with mom, the next, I'm waking up out of a light sleep with NO control over what I'm doing, and no idea what I'm saying. I restlessly moved back and forth on my mom's bed saying, "There's something wrong with me...There's something wrong with me..." I felt dizzy and stuff. I honestly felt like I had just come out of my surgery all over again. Somehow mom managed to calm me down and I dozed off again before waking up and asking mom, "What did I just do?" I only had a faint memory of the incident, even though it had happened only a SECOND before...
  I was scared while I took a shower right after that. I thought I was going to go nuts and start trying to drown myself or something. Hehe...I'm okay. I think I need a good bit of sleep, though! =)
  Okay...now as for my trip and pictures and stuff...you're going to have to wait until the next entry. PATIENCE, GRASSHOPPER!!!
 

  I fasted the other day breakfast and lunch during Papa's Biopsy...
  The Biopsy went well...He's recovering alright, except his memory has gotten even worse. His problem is not that he's going insane and doesn't know anything...his problem is that he knows what he wants to say, but doesn't have the words anymore, and it frustrates him terribly.
  We still don't have the Biopsy
  I think I'm going to fast again tomorrow. Just because, like I said, he's been forgetting a lot of things, and every time he mixes words up, or says a girl is a 'he' repeatedly, I'm reminded that the tumor is still there, and it's not going away by itself. That scares me to think about.
  Today I sat in the dining room listening to old radio music...instruments playing 'Amazing Grace'. It sounded so sad, and I just thought about Papa's funeral...I thought about him dying. I tried not to be negative. In my fear, the idea of fasting came again to me, and I think I'm going to act on it.
  I just don't want to give myself false hope.
  Please pray for me, and my family, but mostly for Papa, his Biopsy results, and his illness altogether.
 

  My sister and I are fasting breakfast and lunch for Papa today, because he's getting his Biopsy done at this very moment.
  I'm really worried about him. I'm worried about the results of the Biopsy, too.
  I know this might be getting kind of old, but PLEASE pray for him! Remember that we serve a big, BIG God...the same God who parted waters, the same God who's resurrected people with a touch of His hand...Every time you pray for my Papa you're interceding for his life...you're literally participating in a spiritual battle.
  I don't want to sound like a religious fanatic, but please pray.
  Papa said the other day, "The only thing I really got going for me is that a lot of people are praying for me."
  If only he knew how many! Hehe...

  First Day

  I think I should start posting something every day, because SOOOOOOOO much is going on every day, I’m not going to be able to do one big post at the end of the 2 weeks! 

  Once we landed in Texas (I’m not going to elaborate on the flight…that would just take too long) it was about 11 pm…Even though we were all dead tired, the time in which we got our bags, waited to rent a car, found the car we were renting, and left seems surprisingly short (NOW anyway…not then). At that time, we were all pretty hungry, so we found a very cool restaurant called ‘Whataburger’. WOW!!! They have some GOOD food! I don’t know how to explain it…the food was just GOOD!!! They had the best barbecue sauce, and the best burgers I’ve ever tasted…if you’re ever in Texas DEFINITELY go to Whataburger…

  Anyway, after we left Whataburger, after only about 2 hours or so of being there, I was in love with Texas.

  It took us about an hour to find a cheap motel that wasn’t in the city. By then I was so tired I was going crazy. It’s weird how people really go crazy. How they don’t realize it. I thought I was being perfectly normal, hehe…Really though, I was lying in bed muttering and whining as I went to sleep. Ask any of my friends…I go crazy very easily when I’m tired…I convinced my friends to flash the neighbors with me once!!! (of course, they probably weren’t awake...we did it through a window at like 12 in the morning, but I still would classify that as crazy!)

  We took our time waking up the next morning…no one was expecting us. We didn’t tell our grandparents we were coming, which made for a great surprise! After packing up, we ate at a Whataburger again for breakfast...breakfast wasn’t as good as the night before, because I ordered a dry cinnamon bun, but oh well…you live and you learn.

  Going through Lufkin, I discovered that ALL my favorite clothing stores and food stores, and even things I never thought of but would LOVE are in Lufkin! When we move, I definitely want to move here, or around here…

  Right outside the city is where my grandparents live. We got there more quickly than I thought. Their house is so cute…My Papa made it himself, and Memaw decorates the inside BEAUTIFULLY with all sorts of beautiful Victorian things.

  My dad walked up to the front door first…we were all smiling wide behind him, and when Papa opened the door, he seemed to look at dad without recognizing him for a second and said, “Hey,” then he realized what was going on and hugged Dad saying, “Hey, boy!”

  We filed in after that, and Papa went on and on about how pretty Kaitlyn and I were.

  I almost couldn’t keep from crying the first few minutes we were there, because even though I’m not around him all the time, I love Papa so much, and thinking that he could die was really scary and sad, and every time he forgot something that was usually pretty simple to remember, it reminded me that the tumor was still there, and when that happened, I had to bite my lip to keep from crying. At one point he told me he felt like even though it might not be true, he usually felt like an idiot because of how the tumor was making him forget things. It’s completely understandable that Papa would forget some things with his condition, but I think he’s a very, very smart guy, and there’s no reason for him to feel stupid because of something he can’t control…

 PLEASE pray for him…I know I’ve asked OVER and OVER but your prayers will help so much. Every time you say a prayer, you’re battling the devil…Just one prayer can mean everything. I don’t mean to pressure you or anything, but I just love Papa. Sometimes I feel like I ought to be praying more, but it doesn’t have to be a long lengthy prayer or anything. Just when you think about it, say a prayer for Papa. I believe prayer changes things. He’s going in for a Biopsy Friday I believe…pray that it would be completely gone then. Pray for a miracle…

  Anyway.

  Memaw was so surprised she looked like she was about to cry as we hugged her.

  My Aunt Vonda and Cousin Adrienne were there. We found out that my cousin Adrienne is pregnant. She was surprisingly calm about it, and said, “Oh yeah, I just found out I was pregnant,” as she sipped an iced tea. My Aunt Vonda I think is more excited than Adrienne is…

  When Aunt Vonda saw Kaitlyn and I, she said, “Austin’s going to be sorry y’all are his cousins.” When Caleb (18) and Austin (15) showed up at the door a couple minutes later, she opened the door for them, said, “There are some pretty girls in here, but they’re your cousins,” and shut the door in their faces. What a nice, warm welcome…

  Soon, they came inside anyway, and I broke the ice with Austin by informing him that he had tried to drown me when we were about 4. At first he was baffled and couldn’t seem to believe he’d really done that, then became convinced he hadn’t. Hehe…You totally did, Austin!

 Austin took my siblings and I down to meet Uncle Robert. He’s hysterical…Austin told us he’d probably be drunk when we went down there, and although I’m not sure he was, he really was funny! He’s a nice old fart…who hates dogs, but has 4 that have adopted him.

 We went inside after a couple minutes when we were getting cold and met Aunt Rosella. She was really nice, and she let us have some cookies out of her cookie jar!  =)

  While we were there, we learned that EVERYONE who knew my dad as a kid has stories to tell about him. When we asked some people to tell us stories about my dad when he was little, they’d just roll their eyes, make an exasperated noise, and say, “There are lots.”

  Uncle Robert let us use his 4Wheeler after we left. First, Austin took my brother for a little ride, then me…It was so much fun! He went really fast…at one point, Uncle Robert stopped him and said, “Don’t go too fast, now. You could hurt her,” he gestured to me. “And if you hurt her, I’ll kick your butt!”

  After Austin had a turn, he asked me if I wanted to try, and taught me how to drive it. It was SOOOO much fun! The only time I’ve ridden on a 4Wheeler scared me to death because I was on the back, holding onto a 50 pound 6 year old while she whipped over hills and stuff…thanks for letting me get on the 4Wheeler, Ms. JJ, but that was just scary! =)

  I fell in love with Texas again while we were on the 4Wheeler.

  Soon we were called inside to eat fried chicken and stuff. Yum…

  After lunch and a little bit more visiting, Austin, Caleb, Kullen and I headed down the street to this empty lot, which is actually the foundation of a burnt down house. Austin is good on his skateboard, and he wanted to go down to the lot to skateboard…there’s a concrete ledge there, and Austin jumped off of it with his skateboard TIME after TIME…he would jump onto the lower level of concrete with his skateboard, and he kept falling…hurting his hands, knees, butt, and everything else…but he didn’t stop. He kept going until he finally landed one perfectly, and about that time he got in trouble when because his dad found out…oopsie!

  So we went back to the house. I got into a conversation with Papa. This might seem like just a ‘grandpa’s lecture’ to you, but what Papa said to me really impacted me. He talked to me about love and how it should happen…how I should let a man work for me instead of going with just any boy. He told me how some boys will see a pretty girl and want to sleep with her, but that people should wait until marriage, because after they’ve used you, they’ll just go on to the next pretty girl. He told me how he would think some girl was just the most wonderful thing when he was younger…how he would think he was so heartbroken when she dumped him, but the next week he’d be going out with another pretty girl. He said it was different with Memaw…He thought he was being tricked when he felt he was in love with Memaw Myrtice, so he left to go back home to Lufkin to get away for about 2 weeks…and he couldn’t get his mind off of her…How she was different than the other girls because he couldn’t stop thinking about her and he really loved her. “Back when I was young,” he said. “Girls wouldn’t chase boys. They’d even ignore ‘em at first…and the boys would think, ‘oh I gotta have me that girl,’ and they’d work for ‘em!” he said. Papa told me I might should go with a couple of boys at once so I wouldn’t get too attached to one. I think that’s actually a good idea. “You’re just too purtty to let yourself get used like that,” he said. At the end of the conversation, he said, “I just wanted to tell you that, because I don’t know if I’ll be around to tell you much longer…”

  After the conversation, Papa sat with Kaitlyn and I and looked through this book that had records and pictures of our ancestors and family and stuff. It was so much fun…

  Did I mention that I love Texas?

  Austin, Kullen and I decided to go to this house/shed/type thing that was built on the back property. That was interesting…Austin would laugh because I screamed because I heard a growl…then because I saw a dog. Everything about being up there was scary in the dark…There were traces of moonlight, but the rest was covered in shadows, and Austin’s standing there daring my brother and I to go inside and shut the door…Nope. I don’t think so.

  We went out twice…the second time I thought I would be more brave and able to go inside. Not even close…

  When we went back, my cousin and I had a good conversation, and bonded quite a bit. We exchanged AIM screen names before we left that night.

  We had to go back to the hotel soon after that.

 

  Second Day

  We went to Memaw and Papa’s house at about 10 o’clock, and watched a cool movie with Papa about a guy who just snapped one day because people kept pushing him around, and went semi-postal on people who badgered him. I know that’s not justifiable, but everyone was trying to stop him from getting to his little girl’s birthday party. It has a sad ending…

  It got Papa and I talking about how we feel like doing that sometimes, because people can just be SOOOOOOOOO stupid. “Some girl hates me for NO reason!” I said.

  “It’s ‘cause you’re purtty!” Papa said.

  “I don’t know why she hates me, but she just hates me for no reason!” I said. (If you know me really well, you know who I’m talking about, hehe…)

  Papa told me that sometimes people treat you good for being pretty, and some people treat you bad, but that it shouldn’t matter to you, and you should always treat people nice no matter what they look like. “And for that matter,” he said. “’Cause you know how it feels, you shouldn’t hate other girls for being pretty either.”

  Just so you all know, I’m going to be honest…I’m posting about how everyone thinks my sister and I are so pretty here because it makes me feel good, but I’m also going to say that I don’t think I’m pretty. I just don’t want anyone to think that because I’m posting this it makes me conceited. I don’t think I’m conceited, I just like the way it feels when someone calls me pretty. Understandable?

  Anyway, so soon Austin comes back from church. That’s about the time he, his mom, and my family went to Cici’s Pizza. WOW!!! That was GOOD pizza, and the buffet was only $4 per person! Mmm, Mmm, MMM!!!

  When we got back, Austin, Kaitlyn and I went down the road again down to where the burnt house is, and took pictures and videotaped Austin skateboarding…MAN that was hysterical. We got some FUNNY video! Soon, Austin started taking his skateboard and beating the charred boards of the house with it. My sister and I cracked up at that…

  Austin went into the house and brought back a door that was probably one of the ones that hadn’t burned in the fire. They were cheap doors, and easy to break. We spent the next hour or so TEARING THAT DOOR TO SHREDS!!! We used metal pipes, wooden planks, and huge broken pieces of statue to throw at, and beat the door with…I’m going to have to post before and after pictures, you’ll crack up. The funniest thing was that there was no reason to do it! We just beat it up for no reason…The first thing I did was kick it hard several times until it splintered slightly, and then we threw heavy rocks at it. The door was cheap, so it went right through it…

  Man, was that door destroyed when we were done with it…hehe…

  We ran back to the house to put the camera away real quick so we could destroy the door without hurting the camera, and there discovered that Austin’s family was leaving…we left the camera there, and sprinted back before his parents could tell him to get in the car!

  In the middle of our door demolition though, I heard my Uncle Brent’s voice, and looked up (probably resembling a deer caught in headlights) and thought, “Oopsie…” Lol…

  Austin said he’d probably be back the next weekend for more door-demolition-fun, we hugged, and he left. He’s a lot of fun…=)

  We stayed at Memaw and Papa’s house late again until everyone was dead tired and we left. The end of the day is never very eventful, we get home, watch court TV, and all that jazz…

 

  Third Day

  Today, my mom, sister, brother and I stayed home for awhile while my dad visited Memaw and Papa alone. We did laundry, watched TV, and got cat calls from kids only slightly older than my brother, and stares from 50 year old men. Why can’t people just realize how old they are?

  When my dad got home, we headed out to eat. Instead, we went all over Lufkin, to the zoo (which was closed because it was past 5 o’clock), and to the factory where Chick-O-Sticks are made. My dad has always told us that Chick-O-Sticks are made in his home town, and today he was excited to take us to the factory, because you can get yummy candy for really cheap because they got broken in the factory or something…We walked into the side of the factory, where there was a cute little shop full of all kinds of candy…the smell was REALLY good inside…it smelled like mint, and other stuff…I don’t know how to describe it…It just smelled good!

  Beyond the front desk, you could see this big factory behind it…It was really cool, because we can buy Chick-O-Sticks in WV, and we got to buy them where they’re made.

  Did I mention that I love Texas?

  Anyway, after we left the factory, we drove around until we found a Sonic, which is this really good burger place where the waitresses come outside and deliver whatever you order to your car. The burgers and food were REALLY good…but I don’t think they were as good as Whataburger! =) It was an interesting restaurant though…Old-fashioned, also. I liked it.

  After we went to Sonic, we went to Memaw and Papa’s house, where I ate lots of deer meat…YUM!!! Hehe…

  It was a normal visit…enjoyable, but pretty much uneventful. Then we left and watched more stuff on CourtTV. YAY!!! I really like science, and there’s this show called ‘Forensic Files,’ that has to do with DNA testing and stuff…it’s just fun to watch!

 

  Fourth Day

  Mom, Kaitlyn and I went to Old Navy and Ross today and mom bought us a couple of shirts for Valentine’s Day, (THANKS MOM!) then to Wal-Mart, where this really cute guy made a double-take at me…Mom said he was checking me out, and no matter how much I want to believe it, I still believe it was probably because I had my mouth wide open, making a very freaky, and intentionally goofy face, and it’s kind of hard not to look at someone when you wonder what the heck they’re doing! After that, we headed back to pick Kullen and Dad, got to Memaw’s house, then Golden Corral…

  Let me just say that, as everything is here, Golden Corral is better in Texas. I never liked the Golden Corral we had in town (before it closed down anyway), but the Golden Corral in Frederick was pretty good, and the one here is great!

  We went back to Memaw and Papa’s house to visit again…Dad took us down the road…first of all so we could show him our work of art (aka demolished door), and second so we could go down the road and he could show us the little bridges and creeks he used to play on when he was little.

  On the way, dad stopped to talk to one of his old neighbor. He was nice and everything, but it was his teenage grandson that caught my attention. He was mentally retarded, and really sweet. In spite of everything in me saying, ‘Don’t say anything!’, it seemed like God was telling me that just a smile or a kind word could change this guy’s day…so I smiled at him, laughed with him, and asked what his name was. It turned out to be Josh. I don’t know, I just thought that was a pretty cool experience…somehow especially because my dad had a mentally retarded brother.

  After we got back to Memaw and Papa’s house, my siblings and I hung out in the back field behind and to the left of the house. I don’t know how to describe certain things…some memories are not planned out…they’re not meant to be fun, but somehow, just being outside while the sun sets, listening to Papa, dogs running all around and feeling a little chill go up my arm…I don’t think I’ll ever forget that.

  My Valentine’s Day was good. It wasn’t a very big deal for me. I mean if I had a boyfriend or something it might be different…but as it is, Valentine’s Day is just a chaotic excuse for little kids to give you pieces of paper that are addressed to: “A friend.”

  Maybe I sound cynical. I’m typing this at 11 pm, and I’m tired…so please forgive me.

  I'm flying out for Texas tomorrow evening. Well, I guess technically today, since it's so late, but you know what I mean...
  It's very, very sudden news. I got up this morning to my mom making several phone calls...soon she was off the phone saying, "We're flying out tomorrow."
  That was just a LITTLE spontaneous, and shook me up quite a bit, but I know it's going to be a good thing. I want to see my Papa, and I want to see Texas, considering it's going to be my future home.
  PLEASE pray for a miracle...that my Papa will live somehow.
  GOD IS GREAT!!! NO TUMOR IS GOING TO STOP HIM!!!
  So please don't pray as if you know my grandfather doesn't have much of a chance.
  Remember the kid lyrics:
 
  My God is so Great
  So Strong and so Mighty
  There's nothing my God cannot do

  I may not listen to 'Wee Sing Bible Songs' anymore, but I still believe that, and I know He is faithful. I also know it may not be in His will for Papa to live, but all I ask is that you have faith when you pray.

  Guys, my Papa (my dad's dad) needs prayer. He has a tumor on his brain. The doctors gave him 3 months to live, and 6 if he gets the surgery he needs.
  I'm really sad about it. I stayed up late last night crying, but I know my dad must feel a million times worse.
  I have 2 prayer requests for you...First, that God would heal him. I know it seems unlikely, but has our God ever been one to refrain from doing something just because it was hard? No. It's not hard to him. God can heal my grandfather with a touch of His hand. I ask that you would pray for a miracle. And if not a miracle, that God would give my grandfather, and everyone this is affecting, physical and emotional relief, and peace.
  I also ask that you pray that God would provide airfare for us to get to Texas to visit him. I think my dad is definitely going to go, but the rest of us want to go and see him again too. This whole situation will be much more sad if we don't even get to see him one more time. Again, our God is an Awesome God. He can do this...He can do anything.
  Kendra

  Hey, I'm back...
  Winter Camp was awesome...I loved it.
  I met up with my youth group in Wal-Mart parking lot, and when we finally got moving, it took about 40 minutes or so to get to camp. When we got there, all we could see were a few small buildings, and a registration office. Not much to look at at first, and we looked at it for about 30 minutes, standing out in the freezing cold while we waited to find out where we were staying.
  I was happy when turning in my meds gave me an excuse to go inside...
  We finally found out where our lodges were, and I toted my bags downhill inside a large bunkhouse (they were HEAVY!). The inside was SOOO nice...nicer than the lodges of any camp I've been to. The bunks were made of new wood, and they still smelled good. The carpet was new and clean, and so were the bathrooms. Even the pillows (although I would still never use them) were clean.
  So we settled in, and then Rachel, Kelly, Tayva and I decided to go outside and check out the campground for a little while before dinner time. We walked around, getting a feel for where everything was. We found out that there was a coffee shop, and we were so excited! Tayva and Rachel studied a map for a long time trying to figure out where the cafeteria was at about dinnertime, all the while, I'm looking next door knowing I'm looking at the cafeteria, but they wouldn't listen, hehe...We could have been inside for 5 minutes by the time the brainiacs were done turning the map in every imaginable angle...
  We went inside the building where the cafeteria is, and were some of the first people in line for food.
  Okay, that was some GOOD food! I don't know where they got it or who served it or anything, but they must have had professional caterers or something. I've never really eaten fish like crazy, and they had some really good fish, and good meat, and good bread, and good mashed potatoes, and everything was just...GOOD!
  After dinnertime, we followed the crowd downstairs where worship was being held. I thought it was just going to be average, everyday worship that doesn't really do anything for me, but the youth band from the church I go to now was playing, and they were really good! They had the music turned up really loud, and it sounded so cool. As is usually expected for me, there was only one song that really touched me, but I'm used to that, and it doesn't matter because when that song came around, it was worth the wait...I shut my eyes, and for a little bit, it was just me and God (the song was 'Heart of Worship', in case you're wondering).
  After worship time, there was a speaker. His name was Johnny, and he was SOOO hyper (and self-proclaimed ADHD), and had a lot of good things to say, about how the Christian life should be an adventure.
  After worship, we left and hung around the coffee shop for a little while...Tayva and I got iced caramel latte's, which was not a good idea before bedtime. Tayva got very hyper. We were all trying to dance, which attracted one of the youth leaders (named Ron) to know what we were doing. As soon as Ron came over, a large % of the youth guys accompanied him, along with his wife, which was fun...I like being around these people. They're all a lot of fun.
  Tayva and Rachel left to go down to the lodge, leaving me and Kelly on the porch with this really cute guy...Great time for that latte' to kick in. I started rocking back and forth in the rocking chair I was sitting in, bursting into hysterical giggles about absolutely nothing...lol. I don't think he noticed, which is a good thing.
  A little while later, Kelly and I headed back to our lodge, where we stayed up pretty late and got to know the female portion of our youth group a little better...we were so loud that a (very grumpy) youth leader from another youth group came into our room and told us we had to be quiet. Soon after that we went to bed. I guess the giggling fit was the only way in which the coffee manifested itself, because I went to sleep after a few times of playing 'Miss Me Baby' in my head.

  The next morning, I was woken up at 6 o'clock in the morning (a time which I previously had not known existed, hehe) by my youth leaders, and very slowly forced myself to get out of bed and get dressed, do my makeup, brush my teeth, and all that jazz. At 7, we went to a prayer meeting, which was great, and 30 minutes later we had little mini pancakes and sausage for breakfast. 
  Next was worship. I don't remember much of what worship was like, except that it was like the night before, only with different songs. I was tired.
  At 10, when worship ended, we went back down to the lodge, where we had a bit of girl talk and such, and I showered...Now I have to mention the showers. They were the cleanest showers I've ever been in at a summer camp. The water was warm, and made me feel like summer. It was just a great shower.
  After my shower, it was about lunchtime. We had lunch. Whoop-dee-doo.
  After lunch, we were told to go down to the gym, which I was not happy about. I don't like running games and stuff like that, so I played the first game in which we pass pool noodles to each other and see whose team gets the most noodles, and then decided I didn't want to do any more games. So I went on to the steps, where the other kids that didn't want to play were sitting.
  A few minutes after I sat down, one of the boys who was sitting there decided he had changed his mind, and he did want to play the game, which involved something about running and jumping onto a collection of pool noodles and rolling across the floor on them. Everyone who did it told me it hurt, except for Kameron, and he's just weird.
  When the boy came back, I asked him, "Did it hurt?"
  "No, man!" He said, then slapping my back, said, "You shoulda did it! You shoulda did it!" What a gramatically challenged hottie.
  Tayva all but forced me to play the next game. I really didn't want to. What we had to do was take a pool noodle and a balloon and hold them both. Every team had a different colored pool noodle, and we had to try to pop the balloons of the other girls who had different colored pool noodles. I'm not really agressive...physically at least, and so I'm out there with all these girls, most of which are out for blood, and some who are whacking me across the face with their noodles, trying my best to pop someone's balloon but never managing to do it. Nevertheless, I didn't get out until the second to last round, when they released adult, 'guerillas' who weren't on any team, and were allowed to pop your balloon in any way possible. The one who got me used her fingernails.
  Although I'm glad someone took the time to put together the games, I didn't like them very much.
  We had 3 hours of free time after that. I used it eating ice cream, playing cards with Tayva, Kelly, and some of my new friends, and fun stuff! I know I did more fun stuff than that, but I can't remember, lol...
  We went to dinner after that. This is when the story starts getting scary. I was sitting at a table with Tayva, Kelly, and Rachel, when one of my youth leaders, Donny, comes over and asks if he can sit with us. Of course, we said yes, and during the conversation that followed, he told us he was going to give the guys another chance to share their testimonies during the talent show that was coming up, because no males had signed up.
  At that point, I knew God was tugging at my heart...telling me to give my testimony. He'd been doing it for a couple of days before I went to winter camp, and here was my opportunity to do what God wanted me to do. Right out in the open. He was dropping an opportunity straight into my lap after giving me the conviction. I still had my doubts, so I told God I would go to the bathroom, and if Donny was still at my table, I'd ask Him if I could give my testimony.
  Well, sure enough, Donny was almost done when I got back, but still there, and I reluctantly told him I wanted to give my testimony.
  Over the next hour after dinner, I sat in my lodge with a nervous stomach, trying to write out my testimony before I decided that it would be better to just allow God to give me words.
  I went to worship, listened to a sermon, and sat through almost the entire talent show (he put me in towards the end at my request) with the jitters, at times almost convincing myself not to do it. During one of these times, I reasoned that my testimony wasn't anything worth sharing, that no one would really care about what happened to me...it wouldn't really help anyone. But then I KNEW God was saying to me, "If I, the God of the Universe, give you a task to do, who is there on earth that can say it isn't worth doing?" That gave me such a peace, and I was not very nervous for the rest of the time...that is, until I heard my name called, and suddenly I was looking out at a TON of kids my age, who were all expecting me to say something. There was such a sense of dread that there was no turning back at this point...that I had to say SOMETHING worthwhile, if not much.
  "Hi, I'm Kendra," I said. Everyone was looking at me. The sound of my own voice scared me even more. I'm kind of surprised I didn't faint or something. My voice was shaking. In the next few minutes, I was a bit repetitive with some of my words, and rambled nervously a little bit, but all in all, I think I said what God wanted me to say. The main message behind what I was saying was that bad things happening aren't God's fault. That I've finally accepted that I may never know why God lets bad things happen, but that it's better to just trust that He'll work it into His plan, and we'll know someday when we go to Heaven, than to waste our lives suffering and whining about how unfair God's been to us, and trying to pry an answer out of Him to the question, "Why?"
  I ended by saying that we may have hard times ahead of us, but we won't be doing it alone. "Jesus will carry you every step of the way, if you need Him to," I said. And that pretty much ended it. I'm glad I gave my testimony, even if it WAS terrifying. Ron told me that it was refreshing to see when someone gets it, and to hear my point of view on how Christian's attitudes really do affect how a person views Christianity.
 
  That night was COLD...No one wanted to be outside because it was raining, and it was freezing also.
  I sat on my bed in my pajamas and talked to a girl named Devanie (hoping I spelled her name right) for awhile. She was really nice. She started the conversation by telling me she liked my testimony.
  We went to bed earlier than we had the night before because almost everyone was tired.
  This morning, we had the usual routine. Breakfast, worship, except this time, we had to pack up and get ready to go instead of having free time. It took about 40 minutes again to get back to the church where we were meeting.
  Winter Camp was an awesome experience. I knew God was there, and it felt like so much more than three days because God let me experience so much. A blog entry can't adequately describe the weekend. You have to be there and go through the emotions.
  I'll be praying that God touches your life the way He touched mine at Winter Camp.