Edited to add--thanks, Mom!: seminar cost is $150; $125 if you don't stay at the ranch itself--there's a little hotel about 8 minutes down the road with rooms for $75 per night (2 nights for seminar time) if you'd rather not be in a cabin with 15 other ladies, LOL!  Maybe we could even get enough girls to go that we could have a cabin all to ourselves, which would be super fun . . . *but* there are rumors of wildlife in the bathrooms--not fun at night!    You could have a room at the hotel to yourself if you know you need it to be able to sleep comfortably, or double or even quadruple up if you want to save some $!  They feed us *well* at the seminar, so there are no food costs.  Just add whatever travel expenses you'll have for a total!

I've got a few minutes while the waffles cook to type!  I've been wanting to crack open my notes and share a little of what I've been learning in the past few weeks and haven't taken the time, so here goes.

First of all, I want to throw out this invitation to all my friends, old and new.    Please go check out Hettie Lue Brooks' family ministry, Brookhill Ranch.  They have a Christian school, church, radio station, kids' camps during the summer, and a college.  Every spring and fall, Hettie hosts a women's seminar.  For three weekends, several hundred women come and stay at the ranch for several sessions of teaching, demonstration, singing and renewal.  I hadn't been there in at least 8 years, and was thrilled to find it even more beautiful and more inspiring than I remembered.  So here we go:  I want as many of you as can to meet me there this fall!  I think the fall seminar is generally September/October, and I'd like to go for the last one (whenever it is.)  Some of you have been there before, and others haven't.  Wouldn't it make a fun reunion?  I want my mom and sister to go, too!  My birthday is in October, so I will consider it a gift to me if you just show up, LOL!  While I was there I just kept picturing so many of my dear girlfriends being blessed by the ministry they have, and I know we'd all have a great time together--but the most wonderful thing would be the change the Lord would do in our lives.  I personally feel like I was taken apart and put back together; it will take some time to really get it all down here at my blog but I have 20-some pages of journalled notes to share!  So drop one Starbucks visit a week, or pull a smidge out of your grocery money, start throwing coins in a bottle or cash in the bank or *something* and get ready to fly to Arkansas in the fall! 

I really felt like I was being set up for this retreat from the moment I signed up.  I picked up that book by Dannah Gresh (5 Questions . . . I wrote about it earlier) and realized that it probably would end up "matching" the theme of Hettie's seminar, which was "The Elect Lady and Her Discontent."  Weird title, mmm?  Not the usual for her!  Anyway, the book led me to see that my frustration and discouragement needed to be read as signals that I'm working outside of my personality type (given by God) and probably outside of His plan for me at this point--or at least, it's meant to direct me otherwise.  I wasn't really sure what all that meant, but it was a relief to think that I wasn't doomed to another 20 years of feeling overwhelmed!  I am such a planner by nature that I work extremely hard to figure out what is the "right way" to do everything.  The problem is that if that plan doesn't work (or stops working) I find myself absolutely stuck--it's very difficult for me to come up with another plan!  In my world, plan B doesn't exist!  Imagine how well that works out, LOL.  Anyway . . . I brought another old book called Total Joy which I randomly grabbed from my bookshelf--one I'd never read before (so strange!)-- with me, and the first few chapters, I read at the airport in Little Rock.  It's mostly about having joy because your marriage is good, and that was great reading for me on my way.  Of course, we have to start with Jesus, and then ourselves!  Here are my notes . . .

a) change what you don't like about yourself.  This would include weight, your attitude, fitness level, clothing, learning, etc.

b) accept what you can't change.  Eye color, ethnicity, marriage status, LOL--these are in this category!

c) get out of your rut! Stop doing the same thing if it makes you and those around you miserable.

d) Live in the moment--move toward your goal.

Good, mmm?  Okay, so then she said to pick a one-word epitaph for yourself.  What would yours be?  (I had to say "tired"!)  What would your family choose as a word to describe you?  Busy?  Devoted?  Happy?  Cranky?  Is that something you want to change?  DO IT!

What things in your life do you most want to change?  Write them down.  Then, write down next to each item the thing you are going to start doing to change it TODAY. 

Make a list, and do the "worst things first."  That needs to be a motto around here!

Okay, waffles are done.  Time to rally the troops for breakfast!

I've copied and pasted portions from one of the (ai yi yi!) many emails in my inbox this morning because it was so good, I had to share it.  I love the folks at Vision Forum and their heart for the preservation of the traditional family.  This would have been a good thing to read before Mother's Day, but I was at DisneyWorld so you'll have to forgive me!  If you'd like to read the entire letter (it's worth reading!) and receive others, you can check them out at www.visionforum.com . 

Only women can be mothers. Have we forgotten this fundamental?

Only a woman can carry in her body an eternal being which bears the very image of God. Only she is the recipient of the miracle of life. Only a woman can conceive and nurture this life using her own flesh and blood, and then deliver a living soul into the world. God has bestowed upon her alone a genuine miracle — the creation of life, and the fusing of an eternal soul with mortal flesh. This fact alone establishes the glory of motherhood.

Despite the most creative plans of humanist scientists and lawmakers to redefine the sexes, no man will ever conceive and give birth to a child. The fruitful womb is a holy gift given by God to women alone. This is one reason why the office of wife and mother is the highest calling to which a woman can aspire.

This is the reason why nations that fear the Lord esteem and protect mothers. They glory in the distinctions between men and women, and attempt to build cultures in which motherhood is honored and protected.

In his famous commentary on early American life, Democracy in America, Alexis de Tocqueville explained:

Thus the Americans do not think that man and woman have either the duty or the right to perform the same offices, but they show an equal regard for both their respective parts; and though their lot is different, they consider both of them as beings of equal value. They do not give to the courage of woman the same form or the same direction as to that of man, but they never doubt her courage; and if they hold that man and his partner ought not always to exercise their intellect and understanding in the same manner, they at least believe the understanding of the one to be as sound as that of the other, and her intellect to be as clear. Thus, then, while they have allowed the social inferiority of woman to continue, they have done all they could to raise her morally and intellectually to the level of man; and in this respect they appear to me to have excellently understood the true principle of democratic improvement.

De Tocqueville contrasted the American understanding of women, with European sentiments:

There are people in Europe who, confounding together the different characteristics of the sexes, would make man and woman into beings not only equal but alike. They could give to both the same functions, impose on both the same duties, and grant to both the same rights; they would mix them in all things — their occupations, their pleasures, their business. It may readily be conceived that by thus attempting to make one sex equal to the other, both are degraded, and from so preposterous a medley of the works of nature nothing could ever result but weak men and disorderly women.

The War on Motherhood

America’s glory was her women. de Tocqueville believed this when he wrote:

As for myself, I do not hesitate to avow that although the women of the United States are confined within the narrow circle of domestic life, and their situation is in some respects one of extreme dependence, I have nowhere seen woman occupying a loftier position; and if I were asked, now that I am drawing to the close of this work, in which I have spoken of so many important things done by the Americans, to what the singular prosperity and growing strength of that people ought mainly to be attributed, I should reply: To the superiority of their women.

But this birthright would be exchanged during the last century for a mess of pottage. Perhaps the greatest legacy of the 20th century has been the war on motherhood and biblical patriarchy. Feminists, Marxists, and liberal theologians have made it their aim to target the institution of the family and divest it from its biblical structure and priorities. The results are androgyny, a radical decline in birthrate, abortion, fatherless families, and social confusion.

Incredibly, the biggest story of the 20th century never made headline news [i]. Somehow we missed it. It was the mass exodus of women from the home, and the consequent decline of motherhood. For the first time in recorded history of the West, more mothers left their homes than stayed in them. By leaving the home, the experience and reality of childhood, family life and femininity were fundamentally redefined, and the results have been so bad that if this one trend is not reversed, our grandchildren may live in a world where the both the true culture of Christian family life and the historic definition of marriage are the stuff of fairy tales.

Heaven help us.

The chorus of this song is so powerful to me!  I was in tears on my way home tonight listening to it on the radio.  It seems to be right where God has me--preparing to let go of (something???) keeping me from being all I should be with Him.  I knew I liked Chris Sligh!

Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord, empty me of me so I can be filled with You

I've seen just enough of the quick buys
Of the best lies
To know how prodigals can be drawn away

I know how I could stray
And how fast my heart could change

Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord, empty me of me so I can be filled with You

'Cause everything is a lesser thing
Compared to You, compared to You
'Cause everything is a lesser thing
Compared to You, so I surrender all!

Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord, empty me of me so I can be filled with You

"Empty Me," Chris Sligh

Wow!  It's been 10 days since I've posted anything, and even then it was a link!  Whew, we've been busy.  Mostly, we've been doing school, and whenever I'm online, I've been planning our trip to Disney!  The people at WDW-DINE have become my best friends lately, LOL.  I've made more phone calls to them this week than to my husband.  If you're not familiar with the Disney dining system, basically their restaurants book up very quickly.  The "window" for making reservations is anywhere from 180-365 days, depending on the restaurant!  I'm a little closer to our trip than that, of course, and so I'm doing some scrambling trying to make arrangements.   They actually don't even take walk-ups at any of the table service restaurants *at all* anymore, so I'm trying to arrange one meal a day at a nice spot and then we'll do "counter service" for another and one at the foodcourt at our resort.  This really feels almost like it's our first trip to Disney in some ways, because it's the first time we've gone just as our family *for more than one day*!  The littlest kids are very excited because our dear friends are going to be at the Magic Kingdom with us for one of the days and they are just dying to ride together on everything!  We're even doing a character breakfast with them.  My dear friend is the Queen of Disney; she goes all the time with her kiddos and knows everything so she'll be the perfect tour guide--and I'm thinking we will have to sneak away for a girl moment at some point!  It's going to be an absolute blast.  They have 200 restaurants (no, that's not a typo, it's 200!) so it takes some work, I tell ya!  I have reservations for a few of the very popular spots with characters and everything so we're all very excited.  The funny thing is that I've really seen what an obsessive planner I am.  My husband is not one for crowds and craziness (yet he lives in my house--what was he thinking, LOL?) and so I really am working to make sure HE enjoys our trip.  I really love to plan!  By the way, if you have a Mickey trip in your future, you have to try the services at www.tourguidemike.com .  He spent years as a VIP tour guide at Disneyworld (betcha didn't know they had those, did you?  Sure thing--and it's only $750 a day!  Yup, it's a Disney economy thing!)  and now has a website where you can pay around $22 to get advice personalized for your trip--least crowded park days (so you know which park to hit on which day of your visit), resort advice, dining advice, even touring itineraries.  He tells you which rides to hit in which order so you'll never spend more than 10 minutes in line all day long!  Now *that* is worth $20 for sure!

But enough about Disney!  I'm also preparing for my weaning weekend, heading out for that women's retreat.  I'm so excited because I feel like God's got me set up once again to really hear from Him, because I was in the Christian bookstore the other night looking for something specific and didn't find it, but I DID run across this wonderful little book which I'll also highly recommend called Five Little Questions by Dannah Gresh.  The subtitle is something like "finding the life God designed for you" and it's fabulous.  She's a very open and honest writer and I'm finding myself challenged by what she's saying in some uncomfortable ways!  The book is about looking at your life and determining if there are things you need to let go of in order to move into what God has for you, and I think that's definitely true in my life.  I believe I'll be learning more about what those things are over this weekend, and I'm really looking forward to it! 

I won't have a clingy nursing baby anymore after this weekend!  My little pumpkin is such a dumpling and the cutest thing ever--when he toddles around on his fat little legs with his curly hair I can't even stand it.  It will be very nice to actually sleep through every night, though; and to have my bed to myself (well, I guess I'll let dh back in eventually, LOL--he'll sleep with Moo for a little while in his new bed to help him get used to it, but in the meantime I'll have my squishy king all to myself! )  I've noticed that around this age with all my children, it's seemed they've gotten cranky and it's felt as if they want me all the time and can't be calm unless in arms and usually nursing.  Then when I take a few days away and daddy helps them through weaning, when I get home they're happy as clams!  I think it's because they do want to be independent and yet something clings to being an infant, too.  Anyway, I know it's one thing the "experts" tell you not to do when you wean--doing it cold turkey and especially mom going away--but it works so well for us.  I'm really looking forward to being able to just hold him and have him cuddle on my shoulder; something nursing infants seem to do with everyone *but* mom.  You know that scripture, "I have quieted myself like a weaned child with its mother"?  That's so true!  I think of it every time I'm living with a little one.

The ranch they hold the retreat at is gorgeous.  Over 500 acres of rolling hills in Arkansas.  Every time I'm there (okay, so it's been twice, and it was 10 years ago--eeek!)  I've been so impressed by how much I'd love to have such a setup, myself, someday!  I'll really enjoy it.  Peacefulness and alone time--I haven't gone away alone, well . . . ever!  So this will be interesting!

All right, it's been 20 minutes and I'm burning up my alone time for this morning.  Just wanted to pop in and say hello.  I'll try to write more later today or tomorrow.  I need to take my laptop with me on the trip!

Boy, my days (weeks?) have seemed awfully full lately.  I've had no time to read or blog, it seems!  So what am I up to?  Well, first of all, we've had a pretty full school schedule.  The kids are doing well as we attempt to finish this year out on time.  Only 6 weeks to go--yippee!  We're going to Disney in May so that's a good incentive.  We went for a couple days at the beginning of December and kindof squished everything into one park-day before the cruise, which was fun.  We went to Disney for the first time several years (and children!) ago when my dear sis brought her family here and treated us (I told you she was a dear sis!) and really enjoyed it, and then again a few years ago when we'd just arrived home from Austin, TX a little beaten and bruised (R had quit his job, I was 5 mos pg, the air conditioner in our house was broken and it was a zillion degrees and I had 5 kids and NO FURNITURE--yikes!) my mom came and insisted on treating us for a few days again!  I had to laugh at the Lord, because with all the chaos in my life He'd managed to take my whole family to the "Happiest (and Most Expensive) Place on Earth," LOL. 

Anyway, so this year our homeschool group decided to make it our end-of-the-year event.  Even though the dear friends who planned and plotted to get the trip okayed bailed out and aren't going at the same time as the rest of us after all will not be there, we will have our dear W friends with us and we're so excited! I spent a few hours online yesterday figuring out which hotels to stay at and what to do, only to find that one of the resorts didn't have any availability for the dates we wanted.  Can you say overly-obsessed-with-making-perfect-plans--and foiled, anyway?   Anyway, I'm sure it will be great.  I'm planning in 2 relaxing at the resort days and 2 park days so my hubby will be happy!

Dh surprised me last weekend by asking if I still wanted a horse.    I had to say that quite honestly, I "still want a horse" the way I "still want to go to Africa and start an orphanage"--somehow the reality has displaced the dream, kwim?  (I was reprimanded for that comment, by the way.)  Anyway, he apparently ran into someone down the street with a horse for sale who had suggested to him in the convenience store that our family needed one!  So he wanted to know what kind I wanted.  Hmmm . . . well, an Arabian would be my favorite, but those are hard to find (it's a purebred Arab.)  A gelding would be most people's pick because they're calmer, but a mare would be awesome because maybe we could breed her (she's a girl.)  I love white but that's hard to find, and palominos are just dreamy, but ditto; so a dark, dark brown/black would be great--especially if it had a blaze (that's this one to a T.)  We mentioned it to the kids and they got really excited.  I've always said Micah is my little cowboy, so he needs a horse, and the girls positively squeal every time they're in close proximity to horses (which isn't very often!)  So I drove by the guy's house and he was outside.  We got a look at the mare and she's truly beautiful, but he says she's a bit of a handful--9 years old, hasn't been ridden lots because they have other horses and the wife and eldest daughter have sortof lost interest.  He also wanted twice the price for her that he'd originally told my dh (there were 2 horses for sale and they got mixed up.)  So we've decided to forego this one--my horse skills aren't very prodigious so I think I need either a baby which can be totally family-hand-raised, or an average-aged horse that's already a child-lover.  The situation did open my eyes to the fact that we all really *would* like to have a horse, though!  We'll see what happens.  I was surprised to find that the average cost of horse-keeping was around $150 a month rather than the $300-$400 I'd assumed.

My parents bought me a pony when I was younger.  I got impressed thinking about that!  We boarded him out near my friend's farm so I've never lived with a horse, LOL, which would be so great, but it was darned amazing to own my own anyway!  I'm sure my mom would have rather had a horse for herself, but she got one for me, instead.  That was an awesome mom-sacrifice.  I had a few happy years of trail riding and 4-H with that horse and learned a lot.  Thanks, mom and dad! 

So today, my 5 yo has a birthday party for her best little buddy at church, and then I'm heading out with some of my own friends for a birthday tea at our local cafe/tea room!  Should be a fun day.  We had a good time at our teen night last night with a few new faces! 

I stumbled on the Carnival of Homeschooling for this week and thought I'd put the link here.  Now if only I had time to actually read it myself, that would be great!  I've got 5 emails in my inbox that I'm saving for when I have time, and that time doesn't appear to be on the horizon anywhere!  Oh well.  It's a gorgeous day; who wants to spend it at the computer when we could be planting something?

Here's the link!  Happy weekend!

http://blog.nerdfamily.com/2008/04/carnival-of-homeschooling_15.html

http://gracefulgirlhood.blogspot.com/2008/04/your-mother-daughter-relationship.html

Thanks for this heads-up, MistyB! 

I read these scriptures yesterday during my quiet time, and they were so poignant to me that I had to write them out on a card to give to my eldest.  Whoever complains about Paul being so brash and uncaring apparently hasn't spent enough time with his writings!  I love his *motherly* heart here . . . it reflects mine perfectly right now as I worry about correctly disciplining my teenage sons, who are caught in the transition from childhood to adulthood, while I'm caught in the transition from teacher to guide.

2 Cor. 2:2-4

For if I cause you sorrow, who then makes me glad but the one whom I made sorrowful?  I wrote to you so that when I came, I would not have sorrow from those who ought to make me rejoice, having confidence in you all that my joy would be the joy of you all.  For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote to you with many tears, not so that you would be made sorrowful, but that you might know the love which I have especially for you. 

2 Cor. 3:2-6

You are our letter, written in our hearts, known and read by all men; being manifested that you are a letter of Christ, cared for by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts. . .   Such confidence we have through Christ toward God.  Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God.

Those scriptures are so full, I don't want to add my thoughts on them yet.  Read them again and see if there's anything God wants to say to you in there, either from Him to you as your Father, or some truth about your relationship to your children which you (or they!) need to see.

7 weeks left on the schedule--woohoo!  I didn't ship them all off this week, after all.    I rounded up some of the missing books and we did what we could, but I took my dear friend's advice to chill out over what I *didn't* have in order.  Mom, I'm sure you do understand about teachers getting tired of the school year no matter what sort of teacher they are!  And I appreciate the kind words from you ladies, truly.  Thanks!

I'm headed to Arkansas in 3 weeks for a women's retreat.  I think the Lord has really set me up because I'm going alone since none of my friends are able to join me--and I can't remember the last time I went anywhere alone for longer than 3 hours at a time!  3 whole days, during which Mr. Moo Bear will become a big boy without his mama (sniff, sniff!) and I'll actually SLEEP ALL NIGHT LONG for at least 2 nights in a row!!!  No one will ask me what's for breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, or dinner!  Or whether they can play x-box, where their shoes are, or if they really have to do all the math problems in the lesson!  I'm going to feel like a new woman.  I'm going to fly on a plane like a big person, and then rent a car and drive to Hot Springs which has darling antique and furniture and clothing shops which I can peruse to my heart's content for a few hours (my friend says I have to get a salt rub treatment at the big hotel downtown, so we'll see about that), then I'll head to Hettie Lue's ranch for the women's retreat.  She's this fantastic older (I'm serious about the older--I believe she's in her seventies!) woman with a real heart for God and a gift for teaching; they own over a hundred acres of beautiful rolling hills which they've made into a kids' camp during the summer and then women's retreats are held there in the spring and fall.  I've only been there twice and it was 10 years ago.  Her presentations are always extremely visual and deeply spiritual, and I'm so looking forward to just being alone with God for the weekend! The day after I booked my flight, I opened up my Bible in the morning to read and found Mark 6:31, "Come away by yourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile."  That is exactly what I intend to do. 

I took the girls to see Disney Princesses on Ice tonight.  Pretty impressive!  We loved it, though Noonie was upset when they all left and she hadn't been able to say hello to them all.  Her blood work results came back completely normal, praise God!  So that's trouble averted. 

We visited the boys' potential high school on Thursday and, dare I say, I love the principal!  He's great.  He's been there 31 years and you can tell he loves it.  He doesn't put up with any swearing or cursing from teachers, coaches, or kids.  He seems to be a good reader of people.  The campus didn't feel like I expected; it was actually very calm and almost home-y feeling somehow.  Apparently there are hundreds of kids who choose to go there rather than the brand-new high school that's local to their area, because they like it better at Clay.  We're still getting all green lights down this path, so we're still headed that direction, and doing it happily since it appears to be a given.  The boys will come with me on Tuesday night for a scheduling explanation so they can choose their classes.  Wow. 

The older boys have a friend staying with them for the weekend.  When they first met, they were only 3 years old!  It's so cute to see them all towering over me and having deep voices and all.  This afternoon they were jamming in their room; one playing keyboard and the other guitar.  It was gorgeous!  They're so talented and fun.

Oh, a book recommendation--if you have teens, you've got to read this book!  It's called, Yes, your Teen is Crazy!  by Dr. Michael Bradley.  I promise you, it's the best book I've read about teenagers.  He's extremely practical and explains a lot of things that you know, but don't know the *whys* about.  I can't put it down, and it's a long book.  He's an adolescent psychologist so he's seen a lot and it's not an easy read, but I'm telling you, he's got a lot of wisdom to offer. 

And I must head to bed! It's Friday--that means when I wake up, it's Saturday!  Yippee!

This year, I didn't do a good job.

The unschooling experiment was a failure.  I think it's ridiculous, and today, if someone told me that they don't direct their kids at all, the kids just work on whatever they want and still test well and learn everything they need to, I would call them a liar.

J's handwriting and math books are lost.  My oldest doesn't want to write down what his work plan for the next 8 weeks will be.  I have to go through and edit the chapter in our history book (the one that I *think* we left off with) before I can read it, and that's if I can get the baby to be quiet enough for anyone to hear.

My husband isn't answering his phone, and neither is my homeschooling friend.  No one to commiserate with . . . and I do mean that "miser-" part . . .

I stink at this.  I want to quit.

This is a quote from WorldNet Daily today:

Senator Obama (D-Illinois) was giving his opinion on abstinence-only education at a recent town hall meeting in Johnstown, Pennsylvania, when he said: "Look, I got two daughters -- nine years old and six years old. I am going to teach them first about values and morals, but if they make a mistake, I don't want them punished with a baby. I don't want them punished with an STD at age 16."

Apparently, values and morals do not mean *life*--a frightening thought, to say the least.

I was also appalled today to learn that McDonald's is now sponsoring the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (excuse me????)

McDonald's signs onto 'gay' agenda
Family restaurant puts executive on board of homosexual chamber

Posted: March 30, 2008
12:20 am Eastern

By Bob Unruh
© 2008 WorldNetDaily

Blech, blech and double blech.  I've already emailed the company.  Perhaps I'll be skipping those french fries after all. 

  Just checking!  LOL  We're on our way to the library and the McD's with the big play area, so I thought I might get lucky!

I had a *horrible*  HORRIBLE headache all afternoon and evening yesterday.  It's settled to a dull roar, so I suppose it's due to the detox.  Yuch. 

Dd 3 had a doctor appt yesterday because she's been complaining that her leg hurts for the past month or so, just randomly off and on--then she runs all over the place and it doesn't bother her at all.  The doctor moved it all around and said it looked good, then sent us for labwork to check to see if it's arthritis.  I am not happy about this situation.  We are supposed to get labs back in a week.  Please pray! 

Well, first of all, I have to say that I'm doing this 7 Day Detox from www.therawdivas.com .  You hear about detox-ing all the time now, and I guess the idea is to get rid of all the junk in our bodies that we put there from the fabulous food choices we make--preservatives, dye, herbicides, etc. etc.  Eating fruits and vegs only helps your body clean out the junk.  Of course, fasting does it, too--and probably better!--but won't work for me right now.  This is the first day, and I'm supposed to be fasting, but I still have a nursing baby so I'm jumping on to the fruits-and-veggies only part.  I woke up and had a glass of water, did my Beth Moore study (the last day!  Sad!), and ate . . . one large orange.

I am hungry. 

The funny thing is, it's so true that I am seldom hungry, because I'm always eating!  From breakfast, lunch, and dinner with the kids to stolen bites of chocolate from the stash in my closet, I don't give myself much of a chance to ever get there.  I realized during my pregnancy with Micah that I was absolutely an emotional eater, and I just went with it, LOL!  Bad me!  When he was born, I was not happy to find that I barely lost anything-- I think it was about 10 pounds in the first few days . . . and it just doesn't seem like I ever lost any more after that.  Lately I find myself over and over  having to SIT SIT SIT on the couch with the baby to feed him or hold him because he's fussy (which usually means he wants to eat!), when I have a zillion other things I want to be doing--cleaning, writing, reading, whatever--and it makes me frustrated so I grab some chocolate on the way to the couch.  Yeesh! 

We have a family membership to a 24-hour gym across the street, which is great . . . when I'm not too tired from being awakened every 2 hours all night to be able to go!  So I've not been a loyal patron.  Basically I've figured that when I wean him, I'll sleep all night long (mostly!) and that's when I'll have enough energy to exercise.  Also, I feel the need for a long fast--there are several things I would like to pray about, and it's also such a good thing to do healthwise--but that has to wait for the baby, too.  Getting closer!  Once we figure out how we're going to configure the bedrooms, we can set up a bed for him, and I'll go away for a weekend to make it easier (I know they say not to do that--whomever "they" are--but it works for us!) 

Found this 7 day detox thing online and it sounded like a good start in a good direction.  I know I crave sugar, and needed to do something about that.  So it's hysterical, because here I am writing about my fruit-and-veggie diet.  I get up to take the kids' muffins and bacon out of the oven, and habit takes over . . . I pour juice, pray with the kids, sit down, and eat half a muffin and a slice of bacon before I realize I am *not* supposed to be eating that stuff!  LOL  Anyway, at least it was only half of my usual, and maybe I'll do better the rest of the day.  I'm supposed to do situps, pushups, and take a walk sometime, too, and that actually sounds good--I got some sleep last night--so . . . it should be an interesting week!

She's been teaching a daily lesson on this heretical book since January 1st.  Here's a website with direct quotes from the book, as well as Scripture references against the statements made.  I'm sad that she's so lost.  Pray!

http://www.logosresourcepages.org/FalseTeachings/miracles.htm

*Kirstyn, you'd better watch out!    Please, if we haven't had a heart attack yet with all the craziness in our houses, we should be safe, right?  LOL!

*Mom, I'd read that about Oprah attending Obama's church.  But apparently the pastor (who has retired) was complaining because after joining the church many years ago, she stopped attending regularly and has rarely shown up over the past 8 years, so I don't know if she still considers herself a member there.  It's certainly an interesting place, though; one entirely inappropriate for a man who would be president, I think.

*Gan, don't worry about heart things--you don't have any of those major symptoms, do you?  Just eat some banana pudding!  How was your Easter party?

My homeschooling friend Vicky sent me an email this morning about women and heart attacks.  Did you know that one of every two women will die from heart disease or stroke?  That was an amazing statistic to me!  I'm sure this email is making the rounds again, but I think it's warning is definitely a good one that we all need to hear.  Main point:  you might not have stabbing chest pain as a sign of heart attack if you're a woman.  I didn't realize that *jaw* pain was also a major signal.  So here's a medical article from www.healthy-heart-guide.com that I hope will help someone recognize a serious problem before it's too late!

Heart Attack Symptoms in Women

Heart attack symptoms in women are often different than those of men, and as such women should learn the specific signs of a heart attack.

FACT: Heart disease is the #1 cause of death in American women...it is estimated that almost 1 in 2 women will eventually die of heart disease or stroke!

What are the heart attack symptoms in women?
The symptoms of heart attack in women are often much subtler than those of men, and as such can be harder to detect.

Take a look at the following heart attack symptoms in women:

Female Heart Attack Symptoms

• Loss of breath not necessarily accompanied by chest discomfort
• Feeling of unusual fatigue, body aches or weakness
• Nausea, vomitting, headaches, cold sweats and other flu-like symptoms
• Feeling of pain in the upper body - chest, shoulders, neck and back
• Feeling of unexplained anxiety or unease

How are symptoms of heart attack in women different than men?
The heart attack symptoms women experience can be different than those of men. As men typically experience the severe chest pain and pulsing through the arms when they are having a heart attack, heart attack symptoms women experience are often less severe, and as such are often misdiagnosed as other less severe problems such as chronic fatigue or flu.

Also, most of the studies related to the heart and heart attacks have been performed on men, so many doctors are less familiar with the symptoms of heart attack in women. As such, treatment is often delayed in women that suffer heart attacks, resulting in increased damage that could have been avoided with proper diagnosis.

What should you do if you have the aforementioned signs of a heart attack?
If you experience any of these female heart attack symptoms, do not hesitate to seek medical attention. Call or have someone call 911 immediately and tell them you might be having a heart attack. You must get to the emergency room as soon as possible, it could be a matter of life or death!

When you arrive, insist they test you for a heart attack....don't fall victim to a misdiagnosis.

I read in another article that over 70% of women who suffered heart attacks had overwhelming fatigue in the month previous to it--not the usual I'm a tired mom variety, but the I have to stop and rest while making the bed variety.  Another point not to miss: DON'T DRIVE YOURSELF TO THE HOSPITAL! (yup, that would be me!) *and* DON'T LET YOUR HUBBY DO IT, EITHER!  He won't be able to pay attention to the road. Oxygen is your friend and the paramedics have it.  If you think there's a possibility you might be having a heart attack, dial 911.

Gan, this is especially for you, my banana pudding lovin' friend. 

Beautiful, pastel yellow and the yummiest ever, I promise--after all, it's Paula Deen's recipe!  I was never a big banana pudding fan; what's to be impressed by, after all?  Nilla wafers, bananas and instant pudding?  Who cares?  But this . . . it's pretty much from scratch, it's creamy, it's light, it's crunchy, and altogether too yum. 

Here it is . . . Not Yo' Mama's Banana Pudding, by Paula Deen

2 bags Pepperidge Farm Chessmen cookies
6 to 8 bananas, sliced
2 cups milk
1 (5-ounce) box instant French vanilla pudding
1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened
1 (14-ounce) can sweetened condensed milk
1 (12-ounce) container frozen whipped topping thawed, or equal amount sweetened whipped cream

Line the bottom of a 13 by 9 by 2-inch dish with 1 bag of cookies and layer bananas on top.
In a bowl, combine the milk and pudding mix and blend well using a handheld electric mixer. Using another bowl, combine the cream cheese and condensed milk together and mix until smooth. Fold the whipped topping into the cream cheese mixture. Add the cream cheese mixture to the pudding mixture and stir until well blended. Pour the mixture over the cookies and bananas and cover with the remaining cookies. Refrigerate until ready to serve.

This is a great dessert because you can make it just before you serve it, OR several hours ahead.  I wouldn't recommend more than 12 hours, though, because I like the cookies to stay crunchy! 

Our church has special services this evening; Thursday, March 20th and also Friday the 21st.  The services are called "Tenebrae," Latin for "shadows" and are basically a passion play without the happy ending.  The service incorporates hymns, contemporary music, drama and reproductions of various scenes in Christ's life, from His birth to Good Friday.  You have to come back on Sunday morning to see the ending!  I really appreciate that we're doing it this way, because sometimes I feel that in our non-liturgical churches, we've thrown out the baby with the bathwater in terms of the Christian year.  While we're happy to have fun and be glad in the Lord on every holiday, sometimes I think we take the "Every Sunday should be Resurrection Sunday!" thing too far.  In my own life, I know that there have been years when I feel I really experience Good Friday and Easter, usually during years I'm part of a dramatic or music celebration of them, or am in a deep Bible study of the life of Christ.  But that's not most people's experience, and so I imagine most sortof go through these spring holidays the way I more usually do--remembering that Christ died and rose again and glad of it, but sortof feeling as if the holiday has passed me by.

I'm so glad this year is different for me!  I have a small part in our Tenebrae service, playing the role of a friend of Mary at the time she learned she was to carry the Christ child.  It's just a few lines.  But I'm so honored and thrilled to be part of telling the greatest story ever told; the most true story ever told; the one that all other good and true stories are mere shadows of.  I'm thrilled to wave a palm branch and cry out "Hosanna!" which means "God save us now!" to Jesus as He rides down the aisle (on a real donkey, even!) because I believe He is the Messiah, the only One who truly can save us.  I'm a bit more troubled to find myself a few scenes later, robed in black, watching Jesus come down the aisle, wounded and stumbling, carrying His cross, and being driven back by Roman soldiers shouting, "Is this your King???" as we weep and pray during the crucifixion, which quite honestly I don't even like watching on television.  Anyway, I encourage everyone to attend a recreation of the life and death of Christ this weekend.  Your Easter will mean so much more to you, if you do!  Our services at First Baptist Middleburg are at 7 pm, Thursday and Friday.  I hope you all have a blessed Easter!

The Oprah Secret/New Earth thing is still really bothering me, especially after noting the comment somewhere below which certainly seemed to have missed the point I was trying to make about the fallacy of Oprah's latest sermonizing.  Let me make it as clear as possible:  Jesus Christ was not just a nice teacher, here to raise our "Christ-consciousness" (whatever that's supposed to be.)  I actually watched a show on Discovery a couple of nights ago which was supposed to be about the host's search for the real Jesus.  It ended up highlighting the Gnostic gospels, and saying that Jesus was a "political revolutionary" who was killed because He was preaching that the Romans should not be in charge of the Jews (I missed that somehow in my study of the gospels, but perhaps it's in there, somewhere???)  Here's the deal:  Christ was crucified because HE CLAIMED TO BE GOD.  A quick review:

When Moses asked the Voice in the burning bush, 'Who shall I say sent me?'  God said. . .

Exodus 3:14  I Am Who I Am.

The name God gave him is translated Jehovah, and is the name God was referred to primarily throughout the Old Testament.  Jesus applied this same name to Himself during His earthly ministry, therefore claiming equality with God. . .

John 8:58 Before Abraham was, I am.

That's why the Pharisees were so ticked off at Him!  They recognized these words to be a proclamation by Jesus, and were so offended that they picked up stones to throw at Him *right there!* 

Jesus often introduced Himself with the words, "I am . . ." as noted in these scriptures:

1.   I am the bread of life                            Jn. 6.35-59

2.   I am the light of the world                    Jn. 8.12; 9.5; 12.35-36

3.   I am the door                                        Jn. 10.7-10

4.   I am the good shepherd                         Jn. 10.11-18

5.    I am the resurrection and the life         Jn. 11.25

6.    I am the way, the truth and the life      Jn. 14.6

7.    I am the true vine                                 Jn. 15.1-11

And here are some really good ones!

8.  I am the Alpha and the Omega                   Rev. 1.8; 1.17-18; 21.6; 22.13

9.  I am the root and the offspring of David,
 the bright morning star                              Rev. 22.16

In Mark 2:5, Jesus says to the paralytic whom He later healed, "Son, your sins are forgiven."  In Mark 2:7 the Pharisees are recorded as saying, "Who can forgive sins, but God alone?"

Before His death, Jesus said to the disciples, "He that hath seen Me hath seen the Father."  (John 14:9)

John 10:30 "I and the Father are One."

I wonder that more people don't see the dichotomy between believing that a) Jesus was a really good guy and b) He wasn't the Son of God.  First of all, He accepted worship, which would not be appropriate unless one were God.  Second of all, He claimed to be God, which is of course also inappropriate unless one is telling the truth!  Thirdly, He allowed all of his disciples to be killed for the belief and declaration that He was the Son of God, which doesn't seem a very nice thing to do unless that were actually the case . . . not to mention the millions who have died for such a belief and declaration since then (more in this century than all the previous ones combined, by the way.) 

While claiming to be God, Jesus was either lying, crazy, or TELLING THE TRUTH.  "Nice guy" is not one of the options.

In several places the writers of the gospels make it clear that they know Who Jesus is . . .

John 1:1-3,14: "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  He was with God in the beginning, and without Him was nothing made that has been made. . . and the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth."

Matthew 1:23: "'Behold, the Virgin shall be with Child and shall bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel,' which means, God with us."

Luke 2:11 "unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ, the Lord." 

Please see that Christ is declared to be our SAVIOR, not merely our example! 

Why does it matter?  Well, in John 8:24 Jesus Himself says, "Therefore I told you that you will die in your sins, for if you do not believe that I am He, you will die in your sins."

But if we *do* believe in Jesus--that He is the I AM--we won't die in our sins.  In fact, He promises that we will live forever, though we die.  SO . . .

Colossians 2: 4,8-9,13 "I say this so that no one will delude you with persuasive argument . . . See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ.  For in Him all the fullness of Deity dwells in bodily form . . . He made you alive together with Him, having forgiven us all our transgressions, having canceled out the certificate of debt consisting of decrees against us, which was hostile to us, and He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross." 

Well, that's it for today.  Others have spelled this out far more eloquently than I, but I just had to make my own defense here.  Christ is God.  He died for us on the cross, and it matters what we believe about Him.  He is the only forgiveness we have, our only freedom from the enemy and our own guilt and shame, our only hope for the here and now and the hereafter.  I'm sure there will be more and more deception over the airwaves, especially this week, as the enemy tries to cloud the truth of the death of Christ.  A New Earth is still number one on the best seller list, it's being advertised and promoted day after day, 24/7 by one of the wealthiest, most recognized public figures in the world--one who is actively promoting a candidate for President of the United States-- and it's LIES.  Let's make it as plain as we can to as many as we can! 

How about being responsible for Jesus, THE SON OF GOD???

And when they took Him to Jerusalem for the Feast of Passover/Unleavened Bread/Firstfruits when He was 12, she lost him.  Can you imagine the guilt?  The wringing of hands?  "God gave me His Son, and I've gone and misplaced Him . . . "  Can you imagine the conversation?  It probably went something like this: 

Mary:  Joseph, where's Jesus?

Joseph:  I don't know.  I thought He was with you.

Mary:  What do you mean, with me?  I've been walking with my mom and my sisters; our conversation wouldn't have interested Him.  I thought you were going to go over those algebra problems with Him on the walk home?

Joseph:  I had the donkey.  Hasn't your mom seen Him?  Maybe He's with Stephen and James . . . let me check . . .

And it wasn't like she could try to find Him real quickly before God the Father noticed . . . I'm pretty sure she knew He already knew that she didn't know where Jesus was.   Joseph probably had to remind her that the Father also already DID know where Jesus was.  Good thing, too, since he didn't.

Next time you're concerned about your parenting, just remember . . . the pressure could be worse.  And at least you probably know where your kid is. 

Or think she seems pretty spiritual and so must be okay . . . check out these videos.  I wanted to throw up.  This woman has millions of people watching, and she's put out this book for FREE . . . why????  Keep in mind whom she's supporting for President . . .   Please know, I don't know much about the author of this particular website link or the book she's written (though it sounds fascinating!); what I'm wanting you to see is the words from Oprah's own mouth in these clips from her show.

http://www.carringtonsteele.com/page/page/5670554.htm

*First, a note to the kind commentor from last night: Need I tell you that when I got the email telling me I had a comment on my latest entry, I steeled my stomach before coming here to read it?  Thank you so much, dear commentor.   You don't have to be shy about identifying yourself, but if you must, that's fine; truly it's always the spirit behind the comment that makes it welcome or not welcome and that always comes through.  Bless you, and I pray God makes your way clear to you.  That way, regardless of the outcome, you'll know there was a purpose to it! 

 I have to tell you that the idea that my decisions would influence anyone to *stop* homeschooling makes me sick to my stomach.  Keep in mind that I will still have 5 homeschoolers come this fall! I'm such a proponent of it, and still believe it's the best education you can give your children, regardless of their age.  I believe anyone CAN do it.  I believe it's definitely the best sheltering situation for our children when it's the most important and even imperative.  My mom is a public school teacher herself, and that's basically what she said to me-- that she thinks it's the optimum situation for kids, given a sane mother with decent curriculum, LOL.  What I don't mind influencing people to do, however, regardless of the outcome, is to LISTEN TO GOD.  Listen to your kids, and your husband (especially your husband, by the way!), and to wise counsel . . . and don't plug your ears to the Lord because you're afraid, or because you don't want to feel like you've abandoned your ideals, or because you don't know what your friends will think.  This life is truly lived before a Judge who is One, and we have to answer to Him.  Be willing to set aside your visions--especially when they stop working-- long enough to hear whether God's trying to change your course, or perhaps so He can remove the foliage blocking your view and you can see where you actually *are* as it has seemed in my own case.  Be willing to let Him mess up your plans, to take a risk, to give your kids wings.  Know where your family is in the process, and choose the option that will best further the plans God has for all of you, not the one that adds to your supermom list or makes you more of a martyr or lets you keep your fears in the closet.  If God says to change direction, do it.  Then again, don't just jump on a bandwagon!  You can't just blindly follow the people around you because God has a specific plan for each of your children.  You don't ultimately answer to your local school board, or your pastor, or even your homeschool group leader.  When we lay aside our own preconceptions of what life should look like and ask God to really tell us what to do, only then can we be assured that we're on the right path.  I do pray we all feel free to do that!