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Teen Missions Team 08027

Robert Krasawski III

Caixa Postal 01

Sao Miguel do Guama-PA

CEP 68660-970

BRAZIL

I just got home from taking Princess #1 to a dance recital.  Everyone's asleep (everyone who's home, anyway) so I thought I'd pop on and see if there were any updates from the Amazon (there aren't.)  Then I realized I'm not quite tired enough to sleep yet, so I thought I'd check my email.  Then I wanted to read something so I checked out a blog I frequent occasionally (is that an oxymoron?) and ran across this great post.

http://ebeth.typepad.com/reallearning/2008/07/i-was-a-better.html

This topic is one I think about often, because it bugs me when my kids spend too much time online or in front of the tv, yet I find myself spending too much time here myself.  I think it's because I'm an information junkie.  Seriously.  I *love* the internet, because I have such a desire to know, well, to be quite honest, EVERYTHING.  Who has what on sale for the best price when?  What's dominionist theology?  What time is that movie?  Was it any good?  What spices do I add to chicken salad?  Who was president before Cleveland?  Does Math-U-See work?  When is Jon and Kate Plus 8 on?  Why is my pool water looking greenish and how do I fix it?  What is my car worth if I want to sell it?  What does "grace" mean in the Greek?  I could just spend all day learning things.  On top of that, I am an introvert who also likes to interact with people on my own terms.    In the old days, you'd have to call someone to get answers to all those questions--probably several someones!  In my life, I have had one big group of friends who I could trust implicitly; we belonged to a church where I never heard anyone gossip and we all loved each other, looked out for each others' kids, cleaned each others' houses, etc. etc.  We lived in the ugliest place on earth; Midland, Texas, and so people had to be nice to each other, is my theory!   We had the best pastor and the best Bible studies and the best small groups, and everything since, to be quite honest, has paled by comparison. 

I've never really articulated that before, but it's true.

I miss them all.  I miss those days.

Why on earth am I talking about that?

I'm not really sure.  I guess I was just thinking that ever since, life has been full of complicated relationships; ones where I can't really trust people or places or organizations or whatever.  It's quite honestly easier to keep very busy with the practicalities of my life, and just keep most of my interactions to online, which is under my control.  Now, I do have numerous friends now who are delightful.  Like I said, we attended a dance recital tonight with dear friends we've had for years; I teach 3 year olds at church every Wednesday night; for 8 years we've attended the same school group.  It's just that I've got a distance sortof meted out around me, and people don't get in like they used to, somehow.  Life has gotten busier within my own walls, and more complicated without.

I like what the post-er said about how the internet tends to steal her alone thinking time.  I personally *know* that happens to me; I find there are days I'm drawn here more than normal, and it usually ends up being a crabby day for me!  It's usually when I need time alone, and I do come here to "veg" but it's draining, I think because I follow one rabbit trail after another 'til I'm exhausted.  Plus the kids hang on my legs crying for things like new babas and for me to please turn the TV on and for crazy things like dinner.

A few months ago I read another blogger who was sharing that her goal was to only be online when her kids weren't around.  I think that's a good goal--when I asked the teens in our homeschool group what their moms could do to make school better, there was quite a consensus about "stay off the computer!"  So it's not a bad idea.  I definitely need to at least set the same limits for myself as I do for them--30 minutes a day online--for the same reason I'm always spouting at my kids:  It's bad for you! 

And with that, I suppose I should go to bed.