I don't think I'm very good at blogging. What is the value in it? To have a creative outlet and be able to "talk" to "someone" about what is on my mind? OK...I'll buy that. Whenever I sit down to "blog," I have this feeling that no one in the entire world would enjoy reading my blog. If I felt comfortable baring my entire soul to the "world" that would ever possibly read my blog, then I could bare my entire soul, but since I don't, I feel rather stilted with the whole thing.
This week on the Making It Home email list (does email have a hyphen after the "e" or not -- I'd like the know the official rule) we are supposed to be working on our music rooms or sitting rooms. I have neither, so I have been very slowly working on my schoolroom (our schoolroom, to be precise, where no one actually "does" school). Today I did a fair amount of detailed vacuuming but haven't been able to get to the books yet. Perfectionism used to plague me but, thankfully, I was converted about 13 years ago when I began scrapbooking. I realized that I couldn't fix every little problem on the scrapbook page without ruining the rest of it, which was perfectly (well, not perfectly, but satisfactorily enough) fine. Perfectionism can paralyze a person, so I stopped being a perfectionist. It was driving me crazy. I still do my best, but not to the detriment of myself or my family - who deserve my best. If I am "going the extra mile" and it means that I don't get needed sleep, or the dinner doesn't get made, then I am not really doing my role, am I? So, I will do some more vacuuming when I can.
I used to "run my own life" but then I had children. I still had a routine to the day and never let the little sweethearts "run me" but the truth is, I am a slave of Christ, and when I had children (seven), I necessarily had to put their needs above my own. It seems that the needs of my chidren are many and increasing. Even if it is just to talk about what happened at the skating rink, taking the time to listen and give my feedback, it does mean that I am *not* doing something else that is "necessary" to do, at least eventually, like detail vacuuming, or mending, or organizing the pantry shelf after my lovely dd put away the groceries yesterday.
People used to say things to me like, "I don't know how you do it; I'm losing my mind with two children." I would say, "If I was still trying to do all the things that I did when I was single or only had one or two children, I would go crazy, too. But, the more children I have, the more of my own selfish pursuits have had to take a backseat." Not that everything I have put aside was a self-indulgent, unprofitable pursuit, but certain activities that a person does without thinking when they have 0, 1, or 2 children can become something that no longer fits into the lifestyle of a mother who is dedicated to caring for several young lambs. It takes time to feed, clothe, interact with children (also known as paying attention and building relationships, not to mention teaching, hugging, and kissing--reading, too!), which creates a home for a family. And we haven't even mentioned the husband stuff! That also takes time and sacrifice.
Ah, sacrifice. Let's talk about that another time.
How's that for a "blog"? |
