First we have tea!

To be or not to be, that is the question

7:23 PM, Jul. 20, 2008 .. 0 comments .. Link

To be what? I guess that is the question, isn't it? To be honest? To be grateful? To be giving? To be hateful? To be selfish? To be thoughtful?
I find that there a lot of 'to be's' in life. We need to wake up each day and decide what we want to be this day.
Recently I have felt God nudging me to choose a joyful or merry heart. I am not saying I am DOING it, but that the Lord is nudging me to choose it. It is the hardest thing for me to do on a regular basis. I can do it for an hour or maybe two. Then something happens :) hmmmmm..........something. My daughter is working me for something she knows I don't want her to have, or my husband wants me to run an errand that is not what I want to be doing at the moment, or I drop my favorite cup and it smashes into smithereens, or the dog is eating a dead bunny rabbit in the yard and my daughter is screaming for me to come help! or.........
But to be joyful or not to be joyful, now THAT IS THE QUESTION for me right now.........isn't it? What is your question today?

Identity

7:37 PM, Nov. 14, 2007 .. 0 comments .. Link

Who are you, anyway? Ever really wonder? Do you practice behind closed doors?

For some reason, early one morning last week, I pondered this thing. What was my identity? That took me back to my childhood when my girlfriend and I adopted the 'tomboy' image. We thought we were pretty hot stuff when we bought our new levis and dragged them through the dirt to give them the 'worn' look. My mind flashed several more images through my mind;the surfer girl- short lived; the biker chick; the gypsy look; the princess of Camelot image;the earth momma/back to nature image; on and on it went. When I had finished, I admit to a few tears. All those years of trying to impress others. Why? Because we all want to be loved, that's why. Bottom line here. Then I considered what I now wanted in an image. I want Christ's image imprinted on my person, so that whoever sees me thinks immediately of Him. Chuckle......I have a LONG way to go, but that's my latest and greatest

A Moments Rememberance

12:57 PM, Sep. 8, 2006 .. 2 comments .. Link

This morning we had to do a dreaded thing. Call the Pest Control. I hate poisons of any kind. It is always the last resort. But, we have had yellow jacket nests under our house. Every child coming to visit has been stung, with the exception of my own! My husband put his foot down, so today was 'D' (dreaded) day.
What was an awful thing in my mind, turned out to be something most interesting! The man, who had been doing this for 30 years, informed me that the yellow jackets were angry and aggressive at this time of year because they were starving to death! I had no idea! I was so fascinated when he told me why. Most of the yellow jackets that you see are sterile females. They go and get food for the hive. They eat it, take it back to the hive and regurgitate it into the larvae. In turn, the larvae put off some kind of enzyme that makes it possible for the yellow jackets to digest their own food. If they don't have that enzyme, they cannot digest their food. In spring and early summer, the Queen lays 'worker' eggs. But, in the Fall, they only lay Queen eggs. For some reason, the workers cannot get that enzyme from the queens. So, they are full of food, but they cannot digest it. Therefore, they starve to death! The queens are the only ones who live through the winter. How interesting is that??? I thought so! My science lesson for the day!

Lusting after Fall

3:07 PM, Aug. 15, 2006 .. 1 comments .. Link

Ok, it's true! I'm a luster :) Fall is my favorite time of the year and I yearn for it greedily! Just the thought of it creeping up on me is enough to send tingles up and down my spine- cause me to swallow a sharp gasp of delight, and dreamily picture myself lighting the first candle of the season. Everything is in place in my house, ready and waiting. I took out a table runner the other day and placed it on the table- my daughter said, "Mom, it isn't Fall yet. You can't leave it there." (she is extremely bossy). I sighed, disappointed, and said, "you're right". Sighed again and put it back reluctantly. I can't help myself, truly I can't. There ought to be a support group out there somewhere for people like me :)

A pearl a day makes a necklace

8:22 PM, Mar. 8, 2006 .. 2 comments .. Link

Each day God teaches me something- a pearl of wisdom. After pondering my pearls for a time, I string them on a necklace. I love to take my necklace out and feel each pearl. Some are smooth because the wisdom came easily like a sunny day with no clouds. Other pearls are rough, having come with much pain. These pearls are priceless. Even though they have not the visual beauty of the smooth ones, their color is many- hued, while the smooth ones are flat white. Some of my pearls are softer than others. Their wisdom is constantly changing. The harder ones have formed over a period of time. They form a base in a day and add layers over the years.
Do you have a pearl necklace and do you share it with others? I'll share :)

Emotions, can you trust them?

7:48 PM, Feb. 22, 2006 .. 3 comments .. Link

"Emotions, can you trust them?" was the name of a video put out by Dr. Dobson at one time. I like the title because I am there at the moment. I have had a horrid week! However, if I really take each day apart, there is really nothing to make me feel like this. Well, the hopeless feeling, anyway. It is emotion, plain and simple!
I have been extremely lonely (seems like my friends are all going down a different path right now than I am), frustrated at homeschooling my 9 yr. old who doesn't want to 'do school' at all, tired and worried about my older sons (two of whom don't have God in their lives and it is so sad to watch them go down, down down....and not be able to pull them out!)
and just plain depressed! Hmmmm, I've said the "D" word! I try not to do that often. It is unproductive, isn't it?
Now I need to go make my list of things I am grateful for. Or go and do something for someone else. That always helps!

Two against one.

12:33 PM, Feb. 16, 2006 .. 2 comments .. Link

Late this morning, I held my daughter while she sobbed in tears and choking breaths. Why? Two against one.. The last time these three girls got together, my daughter was left out while the other two went happily on their way, unknowingly causing pain. Did they really mean to? Yes and No. Will my daughter do it to another? Yes. Will they do it to her? Yes. How could I tell her the truth..... that it will happen over and over all of her life. That even as adults, this happens. What do we do about it? Well, in the warmth and love of my arms I told her that it was certain to happen again. But, that Jesus was the God of relationships as well. He can heal and make things right. He can bind and unify.
When she had finished, she lay spent and said, "I feel better now". As an adult, I want that kind of relationship with God. God wipes away our tears and we say, "I feel better now".

A few quiet moments

4:28 PM, Feb. 12, 2006 .. 1 comments .. Link

A few quiet moments in an otherwise too busy life! Yesterday, my husband sent me out for a walk. He does that now and then. I don't get many moments alone, as I'm sure most of you don't. The place I walk is a landscape of great beauty . It is right on the water, overlooking the snow-capped Olympic mountains. Every single time I take that walk, God blesses me with something. It is a wonderful opportunity to pray - just a quiet talk with my God. It is also a time of silence. Oh, I covet silence at times! Yesterday, it was morning when I walked. I could smell that delicious sweet tang of wood smoke and see the sun shining on the snow in the mountains. Sometimes it looks like strawberry ice cream when the sun is just up and hitting the mountain in just a certain way. The mountains change moods like a woman does. My favorite is when they are enpurpled and surrounded in wisps of mist. I thank God for those rare, precious, quiet moments!

Honesty with oneself

12:00 PM, Feb. 8, 2006 .. 1 comments .. Link

Honesty.....Do we? Are we? To ourselves as well as others? I don't know about you, but honesty is something that is hard to do every moment of the day. I am a great self- analyst and spend a lot of time trying to figure out my motives for things. Am I honest with myself first of all? I think that may be the hardest one of all. Why am I doing a particular thing? For myself or others? The honesty part might say, "I am doing this for myself", while I might deceive myself into thinking it is for others.
I have the feeling that the basic motivation of mankind is selfish :) We want something out of the bargin. I do, mostly. Sacrifice is something I don't do well or joyfully. I WANT TO! But, there is the honesty thing again....I DON'T often have the joy of it. It is easy to give when it is fun (fun always has a bit of 'self' to it, doesn't it?), but not easy when it involves sacrifice- something we DON'T want to do.
Just pondering.............

Do I have something to give?

8:01 AM, Feb. 3, 2006 .. 0 comments .. Link

Lying in bed early this morning, I was thinking about 'giving' and what I had to offer. Later, at the breakfast table, my husband and I were talking about the homeschool group we are going to try out today. There are about 5 classes being offered and he said, "why don't you teach a class? You know how to do so many things." I quickly retorted that I didn't do anything well enough and that others there were much better at anything than I was. That made me start thinking about what I do have to offer......seems like everyone is better at a certain thing than I am. So and so is better at art.....so and so is better at writing......so and so is better at handwork.....and on it goes. They should be teaching, not me! :) hmmmm.....sound familiar??? Do any of you do this also? Then I have to give myself the old pep talk and realize that God created all of us with unique gifts that HE wants us to share with others. What are those gifts? and how do we find the climate to use them?
Yes, I am thinking today.......

In the middle of the night!

9:48 AM, Feb. 1, 2006 .. 1 comments .. Link

In the middle of the night, I was wakened by a nasty dream. After that, I couldn't go back to sleep. Raise your hand if this has happened to you!! :) This is the time when all of those niggling thoughts that you didn't have time to think about during the day, come parading like ranks of soldiers before your very eyes. Last night was no exception.
I have an older son who has made some awful choices in his life. As a mom, all I can think about is the pain those choices will, and are, causing him now. Oh, how I wish I could help him! But, I can't. My helping days are over. I can PRAY for him, though, which I do fervently.
Do you have any of those children? Are they causing your heart undue pain? Does it feel like someone is stabbing you in the heart everytime you hear from that child? If so, take heart with me. I was recently handed a piece of paper cut from a magazine that said, "Kristi, TRUST ME, I have everything under control "- JESUS

I pinned it up on my wall and think about that all the time. He is the only one who can help us through these so-painful moments.

One of Those Days!

10:43 AM, Jan. 31, 2006 .. 0 comments .. Link

Do you ever have 'one of those days' when you had planned one thing and it couldn't happen because of circumstances so you felt totally lost at sea? This is one of those days for me. I woke up, intending to go out of town shopping and visiting, and excited about my whole day. Then, BANG! my daughter is not feeling well and all of my glorious plans are cancelled and here I sit at the computer thinking, "sigh.....but.....gee.....sigh.....but.....gee....."
Now, I have to pick myself up and take hold of any negative emotion and say to myself, "Today is a day that God has given me...what will I do with it?".

On to another thought....I am so grateful to have a prayer partner! My pastors wife and I are prayer partners and we meet once a week in my home to sip tea, eat my english muffin toast (recipe at end of this :) ) and pray and share. Thank the Lord for those times, as each day holds so many 'trying' times and I need prayer for each and every of those times.

ENGISH MUFFIN BREAD

1 1/2 cups cornmeal
1 1/2 cups polenta
3 T yeast
1T salt
1 T sugar

Stir those ingredients together and add:

1 cup warm milk
3/4 cup warm water

Add 6 cups of flour and stir (batter will be sticky)- place in two greased loaf pans and let rise til top of pan. Bake at 350 for 20-25 min or til browned on top.

This is the yummiest toast but isn't really good as just bread.

New To Blogging

2:58 PM, Jan. 30, 2006 .. 1 comments .. Link

Yesterday was the first time I ever heard about 'blogging'. It sounded like so much fun that I had to do it! However, I don't know how to go about putting pictures on here or cute little animated things :) I can write, but who would want to read it? In all honesty, I think I am doing this to meet new people . All of my friends right now are so busy with their own lives and I am losing connection. I need some new ones. I am amazed at how seculuded women in America are. In the past, women worked and lived together, thus filling the need for womens friendships. Now, we are so private and live in our private homes and there is not the 'sharing' of our lives together. In my opinion, that is why many women go off to work. Not only for an income, but for relationships. There are times when my four walls feel like a prison. Today is one of those days.As much as I love and am devoted to my home, today is a hard one. Anyone else out there feel like that?

The World is Too Much With Us

9:59 AM, Jan. 30, 2006 .. 0 comments .. Link

THE WORLD IS TOO M UCH WITH US; LATE AND SOON,
GETTING AND SPENDING, WE LAY WASTE TO OUR POWERS;
LITTLE WE SEE IN NATURE THAT IS OURS;
WE HAVE GIVEN OUR HEARTS AWAY- A SORDID BOON.

I have this poem tacked up on my wall. I don't know who wrote it, but it reminds me of priority- of the mistake we often make of spending all of our energy and hearts on 'stuff'. We are deceived into spending our very soul on things that really don't matter in the larger scheme of things. Many times, we get caught up in life and stuff and are taken by them- as a swiftly moving river might catch up a branch and move it with relentless fury downstream. I often feel like that- that things are out of my control. Yet, every once in awhile I move into quieter waters and I have a chance to reflect about where I am headed.

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