Posted in Critical Thinking
While some may consider this as a negative, one of the reasons we homeschool, is so that we are able to shelter our wee one from the ugly bits of life, for as long as possible. Not to be misunderstood with being overbearing, untrusting parents. That is far opposite of what the reality is. We just feel that our wee one will be barraged with the uglies of life soon enough...and we should therefore aid in perpetuating his innocence for as long as we are able.Sadly, the other day, a bit of ugliness crept into his world.
As many homeschoolers do, we play Toontown. It is a fun online game, that has always seemed to be geared towards fun and innocence. One of the features of Toontown, if you are a member, is the ability to make secret friends...which means you can have somewhat open dialogue with other people, as opposed to only using the pre-determined, speedchat phrases. It's just another aspect of the game. As an adult, I only had other adult secret friends, because I know as a parent, if I discovered my wee one was secret friends with an adult, I would be none too happy! As a general, it is an unspoken rule that you do not have secret friends that are children, if you are an adult...unless you happen to play with their parents...that is a circumstance that allows for children and adults to be secret friends. That said, after playing with many of my secret friends for months, I allowed some of them to become secret friends with my wee one, at their request. Now, however, before I allowed them to become secret friends, I detailed many times over that due to his young age, he could be a pest.
For some months, everything was all and well. These friends of mine had nothing but positive things to say about my wee one, commented on how mature he was, and so forth. The other day, everything turned ugly.
One of the speed chat phrases, is "You stink!"
It was intended to be directed at cogs...but too often one toon/player will direct it at another toon/player. The other night, my son made the unfortunate choice to direct this phrase to one of our secret friends...an adult...twice. Upon discovering that it had occurred, I immediately made wee one get off the computer, and grounded him off Toontown for three days. I then apologized to the person it was directed at, and thanked another for telling my wee one to behave. I thought that was the end of it.
Three days later, I logged onto Toontown, only to be met with a two hour barrage of what a terrible child I have; how he is an annoying brat; and the many different ways I have failed as a parent! To say I was shocked and astounded is an understatement! All this occurred, because a young child, told an adult "You stink!" I am not making excuses for his behavior...had I thought it was okay, I never would have grounded him; my point here is that it was four adults going on and on about what an annoying brat my young child is! Four adults who, honestly, became as offended as they did, over two words: "You stink!"
Needless to say, we are no longer playing Toontown with that lot!
For myself, the lesson learned was that under no circumstances, will I now allow my wee one to have any secret friends, other than myself.
That harder lesson came in having to explain to my wee one why people who liked him so much previously, suddenly no longer liked him...and why was it okay for them to call him names? Obviously, it wasn't okay, and we told him as much. We just explained how sometimes, adults act very badly, often times worse than children do.
Thankfully, he has not given it thought since it occurred; children are resilient. It is a shame, however, that these supposed adults have acted in such a poor manner. I am glad that I discovered this now, instead of later...when who only knows what could have occurred!
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