Men are responsible.
Recently reading different blogs and arguments in favor of birth control and against the "Quiverfull Movement" brings me to a rant on a perspective I have yet to find. The Bible says that children are a blessing [also translated inheritance and reward] from the Lord and "Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." The responsibility on the man includes all aspects from conception to raising the children in the ways of the Lord. The reward and blessing are pronounced as the man's as well. Certainly the woman has much involvement, responsibility, and blessing here, but the focus in Scripture (and seemingly not in the Christian culture on this subject) is on the male of the house.
If you hold to the following five truths, keep reading. If not, don't bother.
1. God is sovereign.
2. Christians are commanded to be fruitful and multiply.
3. God opens and closes the womb.
4. Children are a gift, blessing, and reward from God.
5. Wives are to submit to their own husbands.
If these truths are embraced then the questions that arise about attempting to "take control of one's fertility" are not merely in vain but are possibly sinful and at the very least could be resulting in a lesser degree of blessing on the man.
NOTE: {I do not believe that the number of children equals how blessed a man is . . . someone entrusting fertility to God may have only one or two children. That man may very well have a full quiver and be blessed beyond measure by the one or two children the Lord gave him.}
Women are full of excuses, and their men are to blame.
Many of the reasons couples stop having children are serious issues that need to be addressed within each family. Examples I hear often from women:
1. I am so sick for so long that I am neglecting my children or unable to take care of the house. The husband is responsible to take care of his family. He may need to work harder around the house for a season both with housework and in caring for the children. He may choose to work more hours to provide funds to hire household help for a time. He may decide to live near a support group such as a particular church or extended family members.
2. I am unable to homeschool like I want to while pregnant. Yes, we may have to forego teaching Latin to our second graders as we had wished but they can learn Latin in their later years. The subjects may have to be the bare necessities (Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic) and Dad may need to teach in the evenings or on Saturdays for a time. Hiring tutors or sending the children to a Christian school might be the preferred option. The father is responsible for the training and education of his children.
3. I can't handle being pregnant. Again, the husband is responsible to care for his wife's needs and to dwell with her with understanding (remember that the Bible says she is the weaker vessel). Keep in perspective that we are talking about nine months or so of the most difficult times. Step up, men, and help your wife to be strong! The nine months of misery are just a blink in the span of eternity! Men and women may need to give up all outside commitments to focus on the basics of running the household for the times surrounding births of babies. There will be years ahead to enjoy and serve in other areas.
Men are ultimately responsible for decisions made in their homes.
And when it comes to the decision of family size, some men:
1. Give up responsibility by letting their wives rule in this area. And they may very well not have the blessing of a "quiver full" of children because of it. It could be that they chose to marry a disrespectful woman and will struggle to lead her. But they must learn to rule their households well, with strong, sacrificial love, laying down their lives for their wives.
2. Are unwilling to work around the house, care for the children, or dwell in an understanding way with their hormonal wives and so limit their family size. And they may very well not have the blessing of a "quiver full" of children because of it.
3. Would rather buy "toys" or material things than provide for a large number of children with their earnings, or would rather not work hard enough to provide for a large family. And they may very well not have the blessing of a "quiver full" of children because of it.
Submission is hard and God is sovereign.
Women may suffer to some degree from the decisions their husbands make regarding family size (be that to have many children or to stop having children). I cannot stress enough to single women how very important it is to discuss this topic in detail prior to marriage. But once married, it is a great relief as well as sometimes a great struggle, to respect your husband's decision-making in this area. You can pray for God to change your husband's heart on this issue, but you must REST and TRUST that God is sovereign over your family size. The man who rejects children (either by his own desire to do so or by his weakness in not leading his wife in this area) is limiting his own blessing and reward. The consequences to others, to the Church, and to society may be far-reaching as well. He will ultimately be held responsible for his leadership in this and all areas.
Wives need to rest in God's sovereign plan, thanking Him that decisions such as family size are not ultimately theirs to make, but theirs to submit unto. Whether a man decides to use measures of birth control or not, God has ordained the exact number of children each family will have. How many are willing to TRUST Him, WORK hard, and ENJOY the blessings and rewards He will give?
Behold, children are a gift of the LORD,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one's youth.
How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them;
They will not be ashamed
When they speak with their enemies in the gate.
Psalm 127:3-5 (NASB)
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