Saturday my husband raked the yard and we asked the kids (ages six and under) if they'd like to make some money helping bag the leaves.  They honestly were a big help!  We paid each one $1.20.  We first taught them to pull out 10% to tithe at church the next morning and then took them to the store  where everything costs just one dollar.  Each one picked out the toy of their choice and paid the cashier $1.06.

Our plan is to soon begin paying them for little jobs around the house.  We intend to start a chart and make check marks when they complete the work.  For now, our thought is that each check will be worth .05. 

We often get stares, glares, and rude comments from strangers about the size of our family, but we were shocked on Saturday by the comment one lady made.

We were all at the park and my husband and I were sitting on a bench with our one year old.  Our six, five, four, and two year old were playing together several feet away.  From across the way, a lady rose from a bench and headed straight for us.  She had a grave expression and my husband and I both braced ourselves for the comments that we knew were coming.

"I'm sorry," she said "but I just have to say something to you."  We both took deep breaths..."I am so pleased to see your large family!  Most young couples today just have pets.  Are you Christians?"  We nodded, now in complete shock as we tried to process what was being said.  "You are doing the Lord's work and I hope you will not get discouraged no matter what people say to you.  I consider you to be the pioneers of our day."  And she continued with several other kind remarks about our children but I was getting teary-eyed at this point and it was hard to concentrate.

It was very encouraging to meet a fellow Christian who shares our beliefs about children and it was so kind of her to go out of her way to speak encouraging words to us!  I hope that I will remember to encourage other large families that I see in public.  I suspect they rarely hear kind words from strangers.

Our large family greatly benefits from following schedules.  We follow schedules for eating, sleeping, homeschooling, and cleaning.  I believe our schedules have helped me to (among other things) stay sane, be more loving, and create a pleasant home environment. 

In a recent volume of Credenda Agenda Nancy Wilson writes "Wisdom knows when the schedule needs to be ignored, stretched, or thrown out all together."  I agree with what she says under "Perfectly Domestic."  If you want to be challenged to keep the schedule in perspective, read this: 

http://www.credenda.org/issues/17-4femina.php

I know ladies who just do not like certain members of their families or their husband's families.  But even if it is a struggle (and it can sometimes be difficult even in the best of situations), we are called to love and honor our parents and in-laws!      

Some things I try to remember . . .

1.  God has providentially placed me in my (and in my husband's) family.  He has given me specific sets of parents and in-laws, and commands me to love and honor all of them.

2. It is not honoring to roll my eyes or make critical or mocking comments . . . even if I jokingly laugh as I speak.  We Southerners tend to criticize and follow-up with "Bless her heart!"  But that kind of humor is not honoring anyone.  My attitude, tone, and words should always be respectful and kind.

3.  Love is patient.  Love is kind.  Love is not rude.  Love thinks no evil.  Love endures all things.  Love always hopes.  Love never fails.  (I need to continually be in the Word.  1 Corinthians 13!)

4.  Loving and honoring may require hard work and effort and may not always (or ever) seem appreciated.  It requires acts of kindness, thoughtfulness, and care.  This is required even if such acts seem to go unnoticed.  God does not call me to obey Him only when it is easy! 

5.  I need to pray for each family member and for my own sinful heart and attitudes.  I need to pray for wisdom, for strength, and most of all to be able to truly love.

Sometimes little ways of showing honor and love go a long way.  Some examples are:

a.  Asking questions and showing genuine interest in things that interest different family members.

b.  Sending pictures and notes through the mail or email.

c.  Helping with dishes, cooking, or cleaning while visiting.  (I have found that I am more likely to be able to help by saying "What can I do to help?" while standing in the midst of the work than by simply saying "Can I help with anything?" while sitting on the couch.)

d.  Showing appreciation for them and the things they do for us.

e.  Giving thoughtful gifts.

f.   Honoring my husband and showing appreciation for the way his parents raised him to be the man that he is.

g.  Making an effort to say hello (and their name) as I greet family members with a hug, kiss or handshake where appropriate.  Sometimes we parents get overlooked as family members head straight from the door to our children.  I want to make a point not to overlook them, and consider the Apostle Paul's words to "greet one another with a holy kiss!"

Please share your ideas via email or by posting a comment!

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I have two articles that challenge and inspire me on this subject saved in my journal.  The kind of mother-in-law I want to be one day is described here:  http://www.credenda.org/issues/16-5femina.php

The follow-up article, written to daughters-in-law is not online yet.  But I will add the link on this post as soon as I can.  Check back to this post or search by subject under "FEMINA"  at:  http://www.credenda.org/articles_by_column.php  Or grab a cup or tea, sit back, and read all of the articles found there...I think they are great! 

This article from World Magazine has fabulous advice on parenting and life.  Check it out . . . .

Andree's aphorisms

The longer I live, the truer the Bible gets—and other things I've learned | by Andree Seu

http://www.worldmag.com/andreeseu/seu.cfm?id=18520