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May. 27, 2009
Discipline
There are Artistic folk and there are Disciplined folk.. Some artistic folk are disciplined.. I am not. - but I want to be. I'm learning to make changes in my life.
Long ago I was a rebel. I was forced to housekeep as a child, my mother worked, my father worked - so I cooked and cleaned from the age of 10 on. I did the groceries at 14 on. I also worked and went to school, but I was home at 3:30 and was expected to do laundry and kitchen cleaning and on weekends vacuuming and dusting and bathrooms and such. It caused me to rebel against those chores as a young woman. The first 5 years or so with my husband, I did just about nothing. I did the things I liked. I cooked, but I didn't clean much. I waited until all my clothes were dirty, bought a few more, and as a last resort, did the laundry.
Finally I realized my rebellion was not hitting it's mark, I wanted my rebellion to be in rejection of my father, but instead it was making my husband do my jobs. My husband didn't complain, but he was overworked. He went to class and studied 9-5 every day to get his Masters and PhD and then came home andtook care of all the chores I had neglected. My transformation to a more disciplined woman began with the laundry.. I learned to fold laundry in a specific way, making all the t-shirts a certain size, all the towels a certain size... and loading them into the drawers in a certain way. The order made me happy to see all the t-shirts lined up, the towels all stacked. I love doing laundry now.
Other chores developed their system in time, one chore at a time I learned to manage my home. I have not perfected this home management yet, I still get piles, and there are so many little personalities to manage too now.
But the newest steps in a disciplined life for me is exercise and prayer. This morning I was praying the Shimoneh Esrie and I came to this prayer for Repentance
Bring us back, our Father, to your Torah, and bring us near, our King, to Your service, andinfluence us to return in perfect repentance before You. Blessed are You, Adonai, Who desires repentence.
As I prayed that, I realized, I can't have a disciplined life on my own efforts, I must first turn to Him, repent of my sin - my lazyness, my selfishness, my rebellion - and return to His Way and that will bring me into a more disciplined life.
So what is His Way? It says it right there in the prayer - Bring Us Back to Your Torah. That's His Way. 1 Peter 4:12 says that sin is transgression of the law - it is lawlessness. Sin is transgressing Torah - Torahlessness.
My most recent discovery in Torah has been the application of the vers Leviticus 19:19 'You are to keep My statutes. You shall not breed together two kinds of your cattle; (A)you shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed, nor wear a garment upon you of two kinds of material mixed together.
When I bought my new running gear, I asked the sales person to guide me to garments with only one fiber - not mixed. Granted, it's not linen or wool, or cotton.. but my shirt is 100% coolmax polyester, my jacket is 100% polyester.. but my socks are a mix of wool and spandex. I suppose I should knit myself some 100% wool socks, but I haven't gotten there yet. I find I'm paying attention to this detail every time I put on a garment now. I bought a beautiful skirt to go to the wedding in Tennessee, but now that I'm aware of this negative command in Levitcus 19:19, I find I'm not so in love with this skirt anymore, as it is 90% linen and 10% something else. I've put it on, and taken it off a few times since.. I don't know if I'll ever be able to wear it again - now that I know. I have plenty of other items of clothing that are of mixed fibers, I can't discard them all, I can't afford to replace them. But I do realize that now I have to keep this commandment and not sin by wearing mixed fibers. I'm in that transition stage.
May Adonai continue to do a good work in me - a Mitzvot in me.
Workout #3 is the same as workout 1 and 2.. and I did it today - 24 minutes plus warm up and cool down stretches. It was warmer, but spitting rain and strong wind. Rourke came with me. My back is not affected by the running, it's mostly twisting and bending that hurt it. |
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