Sometimes on e-mail, you get some really lame pass-alongs, but every once in a while, there's a gem. Everyone picks their own gem.. my gem might be lame to you.. but I decided I wanted to copy my gem here. Yesterday i was talking to my BFF Susan - and we were sharing these thoughts - about being Invisible Mother's. This gem encouraged me, because my invisibility is really a blessing.
Invisible Mother.....
It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this ? Can you tie this? Can you open this??
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!?
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it. And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
Great Job, MOM!
The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.
Last week I got mad! Mad at my dishwasher. I decided I'm sick and tired of pulling a mug off the shelf and finding it speckled with food particles. This is a direct result of:
Not rinsing off the plates before putting them in the dishwasher
A lousy dishwasher
Not checking the dishes before putting them away
I decided to fix this problem with one fell swoop - No more dishwasher. Stuart even taped up the door so no one could put anything in there for me.. a trial run before we remove the beast from the kitchen.
So, after every meal now, I or one of the boys, washes all the dishes by hand, and makes the kitchen sparkle. One person washes, one person puts the clean dishes away, and another does the peripheral tidy-up, things like mopping the floor or putting condiments away.
The HUGE result is my kitchen is almost always spotless, except for when we're cooking! I've never had this result before. When we had a dishwasher, people would pile their dishes on the counter until I yelled to get the counters clear for making a meal, that meant the whole day the dishes were piling up - visually unpleasant (I don't know why they didn't just put them in the dishwasher when they brought it to the counter?!?)
Anyhow, I hope this keeps going. I was blessed with the gift of the dishwasher when I was pregnant with Janney. The wife of one of Stuart's colleagues couldn't believe I was doing dishes by hand at such a state of pregnancy. She had an unused dishwasher in her garage, and insisted I take it. It's the kind you have to move, plug into the tap, and then move away when it's finished.. such a pain.. and at this stage of pregnancy, I can't move it, so it was always a boys' job.
Here I am, 2 pregnancies later - 4 years later - and I'm going back to my old ways. It's good for me and te whole family.
Oh Friends, I had the worst day.. I'm disorganized, and undisciplined, and it's affecting my homeschool. My littles were loud and crying most of the day, and I suddenly realized (well not so suddenly, but today was a breaking point) that my olders are just not putting enough effort into their academics.
So, hubby is helping with ideas, but I'm just so miffed, the ideas are things like.. go back to your MOTH organization, or just make sure they do it.. but I've DONE all those things before.. and we constantly fall away from following it.. or.. I just don't have energy to follow up on a dozen things.
Today (I know I"m preaching to the choir here, I know you've all had days like this).. I'm trying to wash the dishes so I can make lunch, but Asher wants a movie on, so I go to the VCR to turn it on, but he's not patient enough to wait for it to rewind, he starts to cry, I get mad at the machine because it won't spit out the old tape, and ended up pulling out the plugs in the back, go to the back to rewire it, meanwhile Janney and Asher escape to upstairs to bother the brothers who are doing school.. and then they don't want the movie anymore and they're both crying. I'm getting hungry (remember I'm 19 weeks pregnant) and they won't let me get back to the kitchen. I'm finally back, washing the first thing, and Asher is back, into the fridge, have to stop him from getting something out.. back to the dishes.. and here's Janney now in the fridge..
And on and on the day went.
I did finally get the kitchen clean and lunch on the table, but not before having it out with the lazy boys who are putting in a pathetic effort into their academics.
Those dozens of things I have to keep checking up on??? I found that the horse had been locked in the barn all day again today. They give this one horse some special feed, and to make sure she's getting it all, they lock her in the barn away from the herd.. but they have to remember to let her out so she can eat hay all day and eat snow etc.. I found her in the barn at 4PM.. SIGH.. she went straight to the snow to quench her thirst. I'm having a freak out about stuff INSIDE the house.. how am I supposed to keep on top of stuff in the barn too?!?
You know how those days go.
Don't answer.. just pray for me that tomorrow is a new day, that I figure out some kind of system that works for all of us.
I'm off to my MSWord to make a list of things that need to be done so I can post it on my fridge.
I had not planned dinner, and wanted to whip something up quickly without having to defrost anything and Salmon Puffs came to mind. I searched the internet and found this recipe... which I followed loosely - using canned salmon and some not so fresh anymore spinach which I steamed and then squeezed. I did have to defrost the puff pastry, but that was quick.. 20-30 minutes on the counter and a 1 minute zap in the microwave made it rollable.
As the recipe suggested, I made a white sauce in the same pan that I had sautéd the veggies in, and added in the last little bit of egg from the glaze and the sauce had this really nice colour and flavour. I didn't add anything else. The side dish is a can of stewed tomatoes brought to a boil and I added couscous. A little fresh cucumber adds a balance of colour to the plate.
I went shopping for some school supplies yesterday. Don't know if I told you, but on Monday I had a little breakdown over the stress of preparing for a new academic year, but now I'm a little more relaxed about it and ready to get going again.
Here's my chore list for today
Hose off front walkway
Vacuum mudroom
Lawn mowing Get Asher dressed
Laundry
Bake Bread
Bake muffins Sweep kitchen floor
Wash kitchen floor Clean bathroom
Weed daddy's garden
Water Strawberries for 1/2 hour only
empty van and vacuum van
Work on lesson planning.
I bought Adobe Photoshop and now the kids and I are going to learn how to use it. It doesn't work so well on this computer, so we'll have to load it onto one of Daddy's computers and run it from there. That means we'll only be able to use it on days when he's teaching in the city, or on days when he gives the boys permission to work beside him.. (he uses a different computer - he has 3 ).
Ah, Asher is into a bucket of raisins, life is never dull here.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Later that day.. here's re revised list Hose off front walkway
Vacuum mudroom Lawn mowing Get Asher dressed Laundry
Bake Bread Bake muffins Sweep kitchen floor
Wash kitchen floor Clean bathroom
Weed daddy's garden Water Strawberries for 1/2 hour only
empty van and vacuum van
Now ask me how many of these things on the list did "I" do?
I baked the muffins... oh, and the portion of the laundry that is done, I did.. the rest of the day I sat in front of this computer trying to prepare for 2007-08 school year.
Yesterday I woke up and went to the kitchen, poured myself a coffee and started a list.
When I write a list, the list is made public - and the boys are "ENCOURAGED" (ever heard of a cattle prod? lol) to find things on the list which they can accomplish. We keep going until the list is done (and I keep prodding).
Clean old fridge.
Clean new fridge
Vacuum Stuart's office
Vacuum hall
Vacuum stairs
Vacuum Janney and Asher's room
Vacuum my room laundry wash kitchen floor
Tidy shelves between fridges
Make this weeks menu and grocery list Empty garbage - Kitchen, Bathroom and My room
Sweep dining room floor
Make lunch
Clean up from lunch
Make dinner
Clean up from dinner
This morning I woke up to a lovely clean home, a clean kitchen to work in. There's still two loads of clothing hanging on the clothes line, and a load in the washer, - funny about how laundry is perpetual and you're NEVER finished, even for a few minutes. The Menu is almost complete, and now I just need to create the grocery list, which is minimal because I tried to plan the menu from the food I already have on hand.
However, now that the fridges are clean, they're both empty, we really shouldn't have two... but I know as soon as I go shopping, both those fridges will be full again - I buy 4 4liter jugs of milk at a time and that lasts about 4 days maybe 5. Add a jug of juice in there... and you need another fridge for everything else.
So, I'll just blog some notes to myself - notes you can peek in on.
I'm trying to get the household chores under control, knowing that in a week or so, I'll have to get very busy organizing homeschooling, and then get busy homeschooling.
In the last few months, I've found being on top of menu planning and grocery shopping has been very helpful. So I'm going to prepare my menu for this week right here on the blog.
I've just been through the freezer and found these meat items:
Pot Roast (at $7.50/ kg)
Sirloin Tip (at $12.50/ kg)
Chicken Breast ($21.95 for a box which has 25-30 pieces) - 2 boxes
Chicken Drumsticks - 2 packages with 14 pieces each - I have no price, they were divided into serving size when they were brought home.
2 Marinating Steaks
1/2lb lean Gound Beef - I need 2 of these for a family meal, so this might go into a soup - a bean soup maybe.
1 lb medium Ground Beef - which I just took out to make lazagna tomorrow.
Dinner tonight Chicken Drumsticks on the BBQ - they're cooking as I type.
Cucumbers raita, raw baby carrots, raw snap peas, mashed potatoes with garlic butter.
Monday night - Lazagna - ground beef, frozen zucchini from last year's garden, carrots, tomato sauce (pre-packaged) ready made pasta (sometimes I make home made pasta for lazagna, but I think I'll use the stuff from the cupboard tomorrow. Stuart says I should maybe move this menu item to a day that is less hot.. I think he's right, it's projected to be 36°C - but Tuesday it'll be 25°C - maybe I should move it.
Recipe from Canadian Living Special Issue Comfort Cooking (Winter 2007) page 54 Slow Cooker Indian-Spiced Chicken.. it has a nice tangy orange and curry sauce. I'll need to put plain yogurt on the grocery list.
There's a recipe in Cooking Light (May 2002) page 129 for Flank Steak with Cilantro Almond Pesto. I think I'll do this with my Marinating Steak - which is close to a Flank Steak, and the way I'm supposed to cut it into slim slices, it won't matter if the Marinating Steak is a little tougher than the Flank Steak.
The menus I've been preparing for the last few months have gone into a journal that my Secret Sister sent me a few months ago.. before I knew who she was of course. I'm thinking it might make life easier once school starts if I just reuse some of my earlier menus - or at least recipes. I did write down all the recipe books and page numbers so they'll be easy to find, it's just a matter of rebuilding a new grocery list so I've got all the ingredients available for the week I need it.
I need to make some Hummus, I like to munch on it during the day, it's filling and healthy.
Hmm, looking through my journal, I'm seeing that I didn't always write down which ISSUE of a magazine I took a recipe from.. the reference I was looking at says Chicken Corn Chowder page 194 Cooking Light... I've got the magazine right here in my hands, but page 194 has no such recipe... I guess it's in a different issue. Now to go find that issue. ......... found it, it's issue July 2006 page 194. I'll have to make a nice heavy bread to go with this, or maybe a nice corn bread!!
Pot Roast.
Eggs - maybe cheese soufle - my mum's recipe. I'll have to have some old bread lying around and some good strong cheese too. I need to concentrate on using up these eggs. I'm giving some away, but there are so many, about 9-11 a day - who can eat that many! I've been making home made pudding though, Banana, chocolate.. meringues too...
This was my first finished corner, but it has since been revised to...
Next corner
And the third section
And the area of the kitchen which is most used...
I got down on the floor and scrubbed and scrubbed into the corners along the edges.. that kind of floor cleaning where you sop it with water and soap and get down there on your knees and every little spot is removed, and then you use the towels like skates and wipe up the water and dirt. That's dinner in the white pot, chicken marinating in mesquite tomato sauce, waiting for the bar-b-que. In the slow cooker near the microwave is black bean soup.
Now please don't think I managed to do this all in one day, this is my third day on the job. Tomorrow I tackle the top of the two fridges and the space between.
I read this recently in the FFOZ Torah Club Notes (Vol 5 Pinchas) which caught my attention:
It is a well-understood principal in art, music and poetry that variation of innovation only have meaning in the context of an esablished pattern. One cannot be unconventional without convention. The only way to do something different is to first do things the same. Otherwise everytihg would always be different, and different things would be the norm, and hterefore not different at all. Once a pattern is establisehd, then every deviation and variation from the pattern is noticeable. It is searched for significance, and noted as a special occasion.
The notes go on to talk about how the priests did not get up every morning and think... shall I offer a lamb today, or a goat? No they had a set norm of daily sacrifices, and only on feasts, or Rosh Chodesh, or Shabbat, would the offerings be different, and thus show the specialness of the occasion.
In the same way, we need to develop patterns for behaviour for our children. Parenting is all about establishing norms - norms for behaviour and activities, norms for patterns of speech and relationships, norms about food and drink and culture and faith.
I was noticing in my household, that seatbelt wearing is in need of a new norm. Yes, we all wear them, it's just that Janney and Asher, while in car seats, are not always in the chest latch. Janney can undo hers, so even when I do it up, she takes it off, and takes the straps off her shoulders so only the arm over her lap is holding her in. She often stands up, and we have to get her to sit down again... 4 times in less than 10 miles on the way home yesterday..arghh. When she's just in the booster seat, she puts the shoulder strap behind her, or under her arm. My view has always been, as long as she's sitting, we're OK... but maybe my NORM has not been strong enough, because she's been undoing her seat belt or scootching out of her seat way too often recently. We need to establish a new norm, a stronger establishment of using the chest strap and shoulder straps etc.
We also need a new norm about how Janney is behaving. Janney's norm is to scream to get her own way, and sadly she's teaching it to Asher. Stuart and I are taking this week, with the older brothers away, to try to establish a new norm with Janney on issues pertaining to her behaviour. I hope that when the boys get back, Stuart and I will have realized some success and retrain the boys to learn to deal with Janney's new norm.
Habits are patterns. I want my life to reflect more of this artistic norm, than the chaos it's been spinning with recently.
I like the simple things, they give me such joy. I don't know if I've posted photos of my laundry on my clothes lines before here, but I have oodles of photos of laundry on the line. I love the way it looks. I love doing it. I love watching it. I love being there.
So, I want to share my way of life - my little world of laundry hanging with you.
Over the years, I've had various solutions for holding my clothes pegs. Today I devised this one.
I had originally tried it with no cap so the rain water would drain through, but the pegs were falling through also, so I put some holes into the cap before screwing it on. I'm going to need another jug though, I have more pegs that need holding.
I'm constantly dropping socks from my laundry perch, socks and wash clothes seem to be the things I drop. It's such a long way down, so I'm often asking one of the kids to pick up the dropped laundry.
I built this perch the first summer we were here, I could never reach the clothes line, even though it had a wheel on a pole to be brought lower. So I climb up here every time - I never got the steps put on, lol.
Janney ran around under the laundry line, trying to stay in the shadows. What a joy to have such a simple game.
Header Banner photo of wild oats taken by Trent. background wallpaper is my concept, but Trent's technical abilities.~~~~
I am Sombra, and these are the stories from our house. We're a Messianic family where academics often take a back seat to the work and adventure of life.
