Redeeming Our Bedrooms

This topic has been weighing on my heart for quite some time.  What did God intend for s*xual intimacy inside marriage to look like.  In a world where s*x is misused and openly broadcast from every corner, I believe that it is hard, if not impossible, for a husband and wife to come together in complete purity. 

Think of all of the advice that Cosmo and similar magazine gives to women.  They tell us to read romance novels to get in the mood, or to watch p*rn with our husbands to get things exciting.  Well, these things are clearly wrong in God's eyes.  I won't go into this much further, as I believe that any thinking Christian would come up with the same conclusion concerning p*rnography.  However, if you disagree, please comment or email me so I can give you some very clear scripture on this.

Okay, so we don't watch p*rn or read trashy novels, but what about other attitudes and actions that we bring into the bedroom.  I believe there aren't many people, women or men, who haven't been touched by the world's depravity.  Most of us have witnessed p*rn at some point, but even without explicit p*rnography, we see s*xual exchanges in movies and television all the time.  We grab a hold of how the movie portrays s*x and we believe that is the best way, the only way, the "fun" way. 

How much of what we say, what we wear, or what we do during lovemaking comes from the world's view of s*x?  Think about it.  Lingerie is fine, but why do go to lengths to make ourselves look like pr*stitues for our husbands?  Should we promote that desire in our husbands by wearing trashy lingerie?  What do we say during lovemaking?  Does what we say come from something we've seen in a movie?  Does it glorify God?  Do we use language that we wouldn't use in public?

Lovemaking in marriage is supposed to be fun, that is how God intended it to be.  However, in our attempts at making it "fun", or "different", or "exciting" are we spoiling what God has graciously given us?  I welcome thoughts and opinions on this.  I haven't found any great resources for Christians.   One Christian book that I picked up recently left me with a bad taste due to the sheer graphicness and emphasis on the physicality of intimacy.  Please tell me your thoughts. 

11:49 AM - Mar. 28, 2006 - post comment

Loving

Hi there! Love your post! Very bold and to the point! Refreshing actually! And don't you just hate waiting for the grocery line to go down and having to stand there and look at all that TRASH??? And with our kids right there too! How dare them.
Actually, I just finished "Created to Be His Help Meet" by Debi Pearl and saw that her husband wrote a book called "Holy S*x-Song of Solomon". I really enjoy their ministry of the Word, and will probably be ordering this. www.nogreaterjoy.org
So......hoping THAT is not the ministry you do not like.??!!
And I do agree that we do not want to go into the mind frame of "pretending" to be another woman in order to please our husbands.....fine line there, isn't it? But I will wear silky jammy dresses for my sweetie......it looks good, and it feels good! So, continue this post......very good!!
Blessings!
Kelly

hippieearthmama - 7:29 PM - Mar. 28, 2006

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another thought

Oh......and I think your right in discovering that you just can't find any Christian based info out there on this subject. Too taboo?? And really, that's ashame. Such a blessed part of being a part of our mate!
We could get together and write a book.
*smiles*
Kelly

hippieearthmama - 7:32 PM - Mar. 28, 2006

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I love Debi Pearl's book. It was mind-blowing for me. The book I'm talking about was written by Tim LaHaye and his wife. It just goes into too much detail, even has drawings of body parts. It reminds me of that class I had to take in the fourth grade. Eww..

MotherJoy - 9:25 PM - Mar. 28, 2006

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Well...I'm suddendly feeling a bit less inhibited than I should be?

I don't know. I absolutely agree with total absence of pornography in our relationship, home, marriage...etc. With that said, I love to be feisty and playful. My massage oil collection isn't nearly big enough. I love lights, sensual gowns, silky sheets, foods....

Now, where was I influenced as far as acquiring these ideas and tastes? Probably from reading Cosmo and other magazines back in the day, but at this point, it works, when we find the time. :) I love being with him, and I know he feels the same way.

SMorack - 3:29 PM - Mar. 29, 2006

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I've been thinking about your post a lot since I read it yesterday. I wholeheartedly agree with your thought on p*rn, romance novels, women's magazines, etc. I've also read the book by Tim & Beverly LaHaye that I think you're referring to. It does have a lot of physical explanations in it, but I think that can be necessary when a couple is having problems.

That said, I do not think that the physical aspect of lovemaking is the only ingredient necessary. You need communication, tenderness, emotional needs met, etc. in order to make the physical part real intimacy.

I do love to buy lingerie. Not tacky, prostitute, type lingerie, but pretty, feminie and s*xy lingerie. I've been known to buy a new nightie for Doug's birthday, wrap it and give it to him. After all, it is a gift for him :)

There is a Christian website for this topic, but it is also graphic. Not pictures and so forth, but talking about things. If you're interested, let me know and I'll give ya the website.

Those are just a few thoughts that I've been pondering since yesterday.

Have a blessed night~Kelly

kleo30 - 9:21 PM - Mar. 29, 2006

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I have a Christian book on this subject, called Intimate Issues. It's been years since I've read it, though, so I don't remember much except that it was very reassuring to me and helped to give the subject more importance (to me) in our marriage.

DiWilliams - 9:21 AM - Mar. 31, 2006

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