My Inner 16 Year Old

Maybe I'm the only one here, but don't you ever feel like you are secretly still 16?  Like maybe you forgot to pay attention while you grew up, and one day you were just 28.  That's how I feel.

I remember 16, okay maybe 18, had so much hope, so much life, so much raw emotion.  You could do or be anything that you wanted.  You can drive around with the music blaring, and no one would think it was odd...but it is odd for a mom of 3 (almost 4) to be seen rocking out in a minivan.  Know what I'm saying?

I don't want to be 16, because I felt like crap when I was 16.  But I do want that hope, that excitement, the living...I don't want to be old.  I don't want to feel trapped.  I don't want to wait until my kids are out of the house to start living.  I want to feel free and fun and spontaneous. 

I'm so tired of all the responsibility.  I'm going to put my whole self into my family, my home and for what?  The world is still gonna suck. My sons will still be exposed to porn by walking into the mall. My husband will still come home to an angry, frustrated, overwhelmed wife/mother/cook/maid/diaper changer...

I know that there's hope, I'm just having a hard time finding it right now.

12:05 AM - Jul. 22, 2006 - post comment

I'm still "16"

MJ~

I identify!!! I am a minivan driving mamma of three who listens to kutlass, disciple or whatever- really loud. I wouldn't want to go back to when I was 16. I got pregnant when I was 16. My oldest son was born when I was 17. In a previous post, I read your stroy was like reading a piece of my history book. I am since remarried and have my younger two with him.

Anyway, I feel like you and wanted you to know. I think it is possible to have that hope, joy, and still be cool; with a lot more luggage in tow these days. ;)

Blessings to you and your guys. Do you know if there's another boy in the making or is it a girl? I don't mean to be envious in a bad way, but I just lost our 4th child about a month ago. I was 6 weeks along. But, I love reading your post and seeing how your journey is going with another little one on the way!!
Brooke

Brooke - 12:28 PM - Jul. 23, 2006

---

Thankful

I know this is an old post but I was just snooping about lol ... but seriously , All I wanted to say was Thankyou! It's so refreshing when you realize you are not alone with all these mixed emotions and thoughts that come from time to time. I love to be able to find homeschooling mothers that 'keep it real' ! Looking forward to cont. reading more posts from you.

Eevee - 11:38 AM - Aug. 26, 2009

---