Perspective for Thin Women

Everywhere I go I overhear women talking about weight loss. They obsess over how many times to chew their food, how many meals or mini-meals to eat a day, how many carbs/fat/proteins they've ingested, or how many steps they have to walk to lose four ounces.

The funny thing is that all the women I've overheard are ALREADY THIN!

As an extra-fat woman, I've experienced  this thin-obsessed-phenomenon many times. If I happen to bring up weight loss in public, undoubtedly a thin woman will jump in and began to tell of her struggle to lose five pounds. She always ends with "It doesn't matter how much weight you have to lose, the struggle is still the same."

NO IT IS NOT! That's like someone with a sprained ankle telling someone with no legs that they understand what its like to crawl around on stumps.

Why are thin women everywhere obsessed with weight loss? Vanity. Straight up vanity. Thirty-somethings are trying to look eighteen, mothers are trying to look like teenagers, and everyone is trying to look like a magazine centerfold. Get over it already. How many of us are ever going to look like Jennifer Anniston? Only one - Jennifer Anniston. We need to thank the Lord for the wonderful way He made us, and stop trying to look like something we are not.

At Mount Hermon I listened as a woman in her mid-forties was complimented for being so petite. She immediately started complaining about her size and how she was growing out of her size 12 pants.  She was visibly upset, and it broke my heart because she is believing a big lie. Satan has thin women everywhere believing that they have to be smaller, tighter, and more toned to be beautiful. Listen, if you can shop for clothes at a regular store, then you are not fat. Even if you can't shop at a regular store, I bet you are still beautiful!

I have come to the place in my life where I can totally and honestly praise the Lord for allowing me to experience "morbid obesity".   With all of my heart I want to have victory over this sin issue of gluttony. However, I no longer care if I become a size two or ten or twenty. I can live the rest of my life the way I am, and be happy.

I just wish that thin women everywhere could be happy with themselves too.

10:22 AM - Mar. 25, 2008 - post comment

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I'm sorry, but I think this post sounds mean.

Why is it okay for overweight woman to be concerned with their weight, but if I am "worried" about my last 5 baby weight pounds that I have to lose, I am just being vain? I don't want to look like Jenifer Aniston, I just want to look like me-- the me I am confortable with.

I don't judge other people, whatever their size, for how they feel about themselves. We all have things about ourselves that we don't like. Please don't judge me (or others like me) because I am not completely happy at 5ft 2in and 135lbs. Even by doctor's guidelines, I am on the heavy end for my height.

Again, I am sorry for your weight loss struggles. But please remember, I do not know what it is like to be you, but you do not know what it is like to be me either.

2girlsand2boys - 11:17 AM - Mar. 25, 2008

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I really, really am not trying to be mean. I tried to edit my post so that it didn't sound snarky. I'm just trying to be realistic.

I think thin women need to ask themselves a few questions.
-Why is five pounds so important?
-Is anyone going to even notice a five pound lost?
-Is there a magic number that I equate with beauty?
-Did my family focus on being thin and now I'm stuck with an attitude of obsession?

As new moms we often have older moms come up to us and say "Cherish every moment with your children, it goes by so fast." Most of the time, we're thinking to ourselves "Yeah right, I wish it would go by fast, I'm exhausted."

That's what I wanted this post to do. I've been there. I've been thin and obsessed with five or ten pounds, thinking it would make me more beautiful, more desirable, more lovable.

I just want to come alongside some of you wonderful women out there and say "Honey, that five pounds you're worrying about isn't worth it. You are beautiful, and your worth has nothing to do with your weight."

Clearly, I haven't done this with this post, or you wouldn't be upset with me. I have more things to say about these issues of weight, vanity, and cultural beauty...but they will have to wait.

With love.

Edited by MotherJoy on Mar. 25, 2008 at 11:49 AM

MotherJoy - 12:06 PM - Mar. 25, 2008

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Motherjoy's Perspective

I hope anyone who reads this post reads the comments section. Please, understand that these are my words...not those of Motherjoy.

I know my sister's heart and I know that at the heart of the matter, she is fighting for you with her words. She is not confronting you - she is not berating or judging you...she is speaking truth.

She has seen a little sister struggle with an eating disorder and a skewed sense of self for a while now...so, when she says she wants you to know the Truth and not believe Satan's lies about weight - she means it.

What many women need to ask themselves is
1) Is your concern about your 5 extra lbs (appearance,etc) bringing glory to God (1 Corinthians 10:31)?
2) Is it a worthy thing to be thinking about (Philipians 4:8)?

My sister's battle with weight brings glory to God - she is fighting a spiritual battle, a stronghold in her life that is deeply rooted and has affected her understanding of God and who she is in God. It has kept her from pursuing a lot of things that she felt called to...it has hindered her.

Does your five pounds hinder you spiritually? Will you losing five pounds truly be a testimony to God's grace and awesomeness?"

I would guess that more than the five pounds "hinders" you, your obsession with it will cripple you - taking your focus off God (at times) and focusing on something as trivial (in God's eyes) as five pounds.

Annoying Newlywed - 1:13 PM - Mar. 25, 2008

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weight issues

“Did my family focus on being thin and now I'm stuck with an attitude of obsession?” Man is that question pointed! I’m the Mom and I am to blame for both of my daughters having weight issues. My girls have endured an incredible amount of pain because of my ignorant parenting. I can’t begin to explain away my behavior, except that I had no clue what kind of impact my attitude and choices would have on them. What makes me so sad is that I unknowingly caused so daughters so much pain and that my baggage became theirs.

I don’t know how to begin to express my remorse for the torment that I inflicted on my daughters by focusing on weight when they were growing up. I owe an apology to them for always worrying (one of my many sins)about what other people might thing about them and for focusing on food. What is so strange is that I never really worried about my weight until after I got married and experienced my husband’s anguish over his childhood memories of being “chunky” and the things that were said by others.

However, food has always been an issue with me. When I was growing up there were many times when I went hungry. Hungry because we were poor and my father chose to spend what money the family had on whiskey and women. So when I grew up I determined my girls would never know hunger. So we celebrated with food and I used it as a prescription to make everything better, but it didn’t.

To My Girls: I am so sorry and pray that God will bring healing and restoration. I pray that God will take this pain and help you help others with theirs. I pray that you will see what beautiful, caring, intelligent, and talented women of God you are! I love you.
Mom

Anonymous - 7:23 PM - Mar. 25, 2008

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May the Lord bless you for being real.

trustingdaily - 8:06 PM - Mar. 25, 2008

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Sadly, this is very true.

kaysmarmey - 7:50 PM - Mar. 26, 2008

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Thought provoking

I read your second post on this subject first, then this one. I must say I didn't find it mean at all. I do have a tendency to obsess about my weight and food issues. It is unhealthy, and it does not bring glory to God. Thanks for your honesty on a difficult subject.

Belynda

JoyfulMomma - 5:31 PM - Mar. 31, 2008

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