In honor of our eighth wedding anniversary yesterday I wanted to write a post on marriage. I had one written out about submission yesterday, but who needs another post about submission (just kidding!) As I lay in bed last night, next to my seriously sunburned hubby, the Lord revealed to me the true secret to a strong marriage...

 BACK RUBS

 Okay, back rubs may not make every marriage stronger. But there is a principle behind it. Early in our marriage I knew that my husband was a touchy-feely kinda guy. .My husband told me how his mother would rub his ears and how his father would stroke his back. This was all very foreign to me, and a little weird. My family wasn't very touchy-feely. So I thought it was strange for a father to rub his son's back.

 But I decided to learn how to rub my husband's back, and do it the best I could. Every night, before we fell I asleep, I conducted my research. I tried different strokes, different pressures, with fingernails, without fingernails. It was serious experimentation! I paid close attention to my new husband's responses, and spent many nights learning how to please him in the backrubbing department. Often, my arm would get so tired that I'd have to prop it up with my other hand. :) My husband definately enjoyed my research.

 After awhile I learned exactly how he liked to be touched in the backrubbing department. But learning took a lot of work. I studied my husband. I made it a priority to learn how to please him. I believe this is the secret to a strong mariiage.

 Find something that pleases your husband, and learn how to do it the best you can. Study him. Really watch him. Make it your job to learn how to please him. Maybe its not a backrub, perhaps its a special meal or an activity. Whatever it is, keep trying until you learn exactly how to please your husband.

 The point is to put your husband's pleasure above your own. Many nights I was tired and didn't want to rub his back. My arms hurt and I just wanted to go to sleep. But part of beng married is dying to self. If we don't put our husband's wishes first, our marriages will never be very strong. Either the wife will always get her way, causing bitterness to grow in her husband. Or the couple will be two ununified people, doing their own things, exploring their own pleasures, and rarely taking the time to please one another.

 So there is your homework. Find something to please your husband. Don't give up untill you have it right. Even if your first attempts totally fail, and he isn't nice about your failure. Keep trying and don't get discouraged.