Things To Do While Waiting for Baby

Things To Do While Waiting for Baby to Arrive

1. Get a piercing in a sensitive area from a dirty-looking tattoo parlor. With the best of luck, you'll get an infection and that will keep you busy until the baby gets here.

2. Bathe in raw meat and then take a trip to the dog park. The running might put you into labor. Either way, you'll get a trip to the hospital.

3. Install an outdoor pond and fill it with piranhas. Let them nibble your toes three times a day for an intense pedicure. That way your feet will look posh when propped in those metal stirrups.

4.  Spend an afternoon looking at pictures of yourself before you got pregnant. When it hits you that will never look that good again, drown your sorrows in a couple pints of Ben and Jerry's.

5. Try knitting baby booties. When you can't those stinkin needles to produce anything baby-worthy, stab them into your eyes and you won't have another thought about how much longer until the baby comes.

6. Shave your legs and other areas. You don't want unruly hair to offend the doc when he assumes the position. If you can't reach around your huge prenatal orb, attach a long handle made of wire coat hanger to your razor. Invest in bandaids.

7. Make a belly cast to commorate the one time in your life that its okay to be totally fat. When you can't unstick the plaster of paris mold from your tummy, call the fire department. That should kill a few hours.

8. Write a list of all the things you love about your husband. Keep the list by your bed for everytime he sleeps through the baby's crying. Do not keep aforementioned knitting needles by your bedside.

9. Get addicted to the tv show Jericho, then watch every episode online, in bed.

10. Go to the local movie complex and watch the teenagers milling around. Make nasty, judgemental comments to yourself such as "What are her parents thinking?" "How could her dad let her out of the house in THAT?" "Look at that punk...uh huh...if my son did that..."   Welcome to parenthood!

3:10 PM - Sep. 5, 2008 - post comment

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Ha, ha! This made me laugh so hard! My sympathies are with you as you wait patiently (or not so patiently) for this new little baby to be born. Hang in there - it really won't last forever, even though it seems like it. ;-) Love ya!

Anonymous - 5:55 PM - Sep. 5, 2008

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You are too funny. Hang in there, it's not much longer now....okay so I just gave you number 11. Make hit list of people who have left not so encouraging, encouraging remarks about the final weeks of pregnancy.

adee - 8:59 PM - Sep. 5, 2008

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