Growing Up in Church is Harmful to Your Health

I beginning to think that growing up in church is harmful to your health. All around me, the passionate believers that I see are people who experienced radical conversion as adults. They are not the people that "gave their life to Christ" at age five and continued on in a mediocre manner at church until adulthood.

For those people, especially if they "do" church as teenagers, God is just a cultural thing. Its hard to know wether there ever was a conversion or not.

I'm also beginning to think that salvation is much more mysterious and miraculous than I previously thought. The Southern Baptist idea that all we do is "say a prayer" and we'll be saved waters down the heart-changing, God-working, Spirit-moving experience that is true salvation.

My kids are growing up in church. I don't know how I feel about this. I don't have a lot of faith in the typical American church, and I'd honestly rather not be a part of it at all. What happened to a group of believers that are passionate about Christ who lived, worked, and learned together all week, not just on Sunday? We need to change our view of what church is, because most of us go to a place on Sunday that does not resemble a New Testament Church at all.

For my kids, I want a radical conversion. But, as a mother, I don't want them to have to participate in all manner of evil things in order to understand that Jesus is the way to salvation. I just don't want them sucked into the general church culture and the mediocre, Jesus-t-shirt mindset. The Lord has a plan, and I don't know what it is.

5:23 AM - Dec. 29, 2008 - post comment

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I understand what you are saying completely. We have been attending a church that exemplifies exactly what you are talking about here. So many people who don't really act like Christians who have grown up in the church. I want something more for my children as well.

necrone - 7:41 AM - Dec. 29, 2008

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Great Post

...I struggled with feeling the need to wear a "mask" at church for years. I'd mumble how everything was great and inside I'd be aching. For the last several years I've truly desired to be real, and in fact, have tried to be candid and true about my life and journey with the Lord. I've discussed faith, and how faith goes way beyond what you learn in church....how faith is an act of letting go of the world's paradigms and truly clinging to a future that doesn't match up with the current present. And that type of faith is only available from the Lord.
I enjoy your blog. Thanks for your realness.
Blessings,
Rachel

Raesfamily - 9:44 AM - Dec. 29, 2008

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I know what you mean.....

This is something my husband and I have discussed as well. One thing I have noticed about the people that I know who grew up in church and have a passionate relationship with God is that with most of them, their parents were on fire for the Lord! They weren't just Sunday morning Christians, they were living a life of radical faith in Christ and that was the example their children had set for them 24/7. We need to be sharing God's truth with our kids not just with our words but with our own personal lives....with our actions. I am also realizing in my own life that I am called to live out my faith b/f my children and teach and share all that I can and pray, pray, pray....the rest is the work of the Holy Spirit. He has a plan, He has a purpose, and I have to trust in His sovereignty. Remembering this helps me to have peace....it's ultimately His work, I am simply an instrument which He can use....imperfect much of the time but also a great example of His grace and mercy ;)
Love,
Heather

Anonymous - 2:24 PM - Dec. 29, 2008

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I don't know if you can control your children's salvation. It's something they'll have to experience at their own time and in their own way. I do think, however, that sometimes the people who are most passionate about their religion are people who've been allowed to make mistakes or suffered...otherwise, how will you really know what you're feeling is good if you've never felt the bad?

Other than that, I'm not too much of a church goer. I believe Christianity is something that speaks louder through actions and not through words. Bible passages are empty unless you DO what you're preaching. Love they neighbor, help the less fortunate, be selfless, loving, etc. I've met so many "Christians" who are hypocritical about their religion...they preach one thing but do the opposite, are hateful and divisive. The most valuable lesson you can give your kids is a GOOD EXAMPLE.

Anonymous - 4:22 PM - Dec. 29, 2008

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To anonymous, I need to clarify some things so that my true heart is aparent. First, I believe the Bible commands believers to fellowship with other believers and to be discipled by older (in age and wisdom) believers. Because of this, I believe that if one claims to be a follower of Christ, they must have a fellowship of some sort. This may look like many things...a home church, a traditional church. But it must be something.

We cannot claim to love the Father without obeying His commands. Believers cannot give up on church just because it isn't perfect. We shouldn't church-hop for years in order to find the perfect fellowship. If you are a believer, you must fellowship with other believers in a concerted way.

Secondly, yes, when we look at humans we see flaws. Even believers in Christ have flaws. When people see hypocrites they are usually seeing one of two things. One, they are seeing people who have not been transformed by the blood of Christ, yet claim to be believers. They are seeing church-goers, not believers. Two, when people see hyprocrite, they could simple be seeing human beings messing up. Being a beliver in CHrist, transformed by His blood, does not mean being perfect.

Also, the term "Christian" doesn't just mean "nice" or "loving" or "do-gooder". The term Christian means someone believes in Christ and has been saved by Him. We cannot simplify Christianity into doing good. We must go beyond doing good and become Christ-like, which at times will not look so "nice" and "loving".

MotherJoy - 5:15 PM - Dec. 29, 2008

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Yes, I get very upset about the whole "Teen Youth Group" thing at church. I see a lot of teen's in public school, the world and trouble within the group, and I think do I want my children in the middle of that mess??? I heard Steve and Teri Maxwell say they purposly don't put their kids in church youth group for that same reason and they've seen "the group" break homeschooled teens from their parents. We're doing the Sunday School thing now at my kids young ages, but besides Sunday mornings as teens I think we'll be skipping all the other youth group outings (like the tail gating parties they go to at the local high school-no thank you!) and by the time their teens we may just have them sit in service. Direct me Lord! :O)
I enjoyed your post yet again and read your blog weekly! :O)

God Bless ya' Sis'ta!

Jamerrill

Nurs4jc - 7:51 PM - Dec. 29, 2008

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Of course there isn't such a thing as a "perfect" human being. People make mistakes. See my paragraph #1. However, there is such a thing as hypocrisy.

I go to church occasionally, but only to hear the word. I tend to shy away from the groups because with few exceptions, they tend to become "cliques" rather than true ways of welcoming everyone. I find it better to just surround yourself with people on your own terms, and not under any group's terms.

I disagree, however, that Christianity is sometimes "unloving." I think every act should always be backed up by love for our fellow human beings, even if we disagree with their choices and we are trying to change their minds. If there is not love behind it, then it is pure hate, bigotry, and god knows what else.

Anonymous - 8:39 PM - Dec. 29, 2008

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Wow. Your post SO hits the nail on the head. I wonder if there is an answer...is it home church? Something else? I don't know. But it's nice to read that other people are thinking about the same thing.

Jamie

Anonymous - 12:27 AM - Dec. 30, 2008

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Happy New Year!

It's so amazing to me how God works. I have been on this road. I have been thinking much about modern church and our traditions versus what the Bible actually says. To stuble upon your blog and the comments that deals with this subject helps me feel so much less alone. I too cringe at the whole Youth Group stucture. I just recently Googled House Church. I am tied to my church with relationships and our co-op...but I know there is more.

~Melinda

Edited by melirn on Jan. 1, 2009 at 2:03 AM

melirn - 3:02 AM - Jan. 1, 2009

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This is something I have thought so much about too! I dont know many who grew up Christian who is on fire for God! But on that same note I dont want my children walking the path I did!

angelnavywife - 1:55 AM - Jan. 9, 2009

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