Treating Little Girls Like Ladies

Recently at the ball fields I watched my oldest son practice with his team. My little boys climbed up and down a big hill of dirt and built a seesaw with some abandoned lumber. What more could a little boy want? My baby daughter sat on my lap, proudly displaying her two new teeth and her innate knowledge of the feminine art of batting her eyelashes.

Down on the field below us three male coaches put their team of tiny softball girls through the paces of throwing, batting, and catching. I didn't pay them much attention at first, why would I? I had the cutest little girl in the whole world in my lap entertaining me. But when the abrasive shouts of the male coaches became more than I could bear, I had to start watching.

What I saw was sad and typical. These three men treated these extraordinarily precious little girls like rough and tumble little boys. They shouted "Get in front of the ball!" "Come on, what are you thinking?" "Stop throwing like a girl!" They didn't treat these little girls with the kindness, gentleness and softness that suits the female gender. No, they acted as if they were just little boys with ponytails.

Parents, grandparents, Christians, please listen...if you want little girls to act like the ladies that God created them to be then you must begin by treating them like ladies. It is time for Christians to look feminism in the face and say "No thank you! I don't want what you're teaching, I'll take the Bible instead!"

Feminism seriously robbed and handicapped our mothers' generation. Our generation must not let it rob us and our daughters. We must begin treating little girls DIFFERENTLY because they are different. Little girls are not little boys. Forget the mantra "You can do anything a boy can do!" Why would a little girl want to do anything a boy can do? We weren't created to do what the boys do. We were created for our own precious purpose.

That purpose is to be a lady.

We are here to soften the world, not to dominate it. When we treat our little girls like boys we are calling out of them an aggression and competitiveness that will stifle their natural femininity. We are squelching their created passion for care-giving and nurturing. We are essentially telling them that they are nothing special. When we treat them like little boys we are teaching them that their very gender is worthless.

A little girl who feels worthless is a heart-breaking thing.

6:23 AM - May. 1, 2009 - post comment

Seriously?

As a Christian mother I would never, ever teach my daughter anything other than she CAN do anything she wants to do. Do not do so limits her potential. It creates a message in her mind that she is less than.

You can still be gentle, ladylike, feminine, classy AND be pushed in sports and succeed in the workplace. God gave my daughter a brain and what she chooses to use that brain for is up to her. Hopefully it will be for the plan God has set in place for her. Not a gender role that I am forcing on her. I stay home with my children because I feel that is the calling on my life right now. God may not have that calling for my daughter and to tell her that she is not equal to a man may cause her to not follow her calling because she feels inferior.

Let's not forget the strong women in the Bible who were in positions that were typically suited for a man..Esther, Deborah, Lydia, Priscilla (who worked along side with her husband as his equal) etc.

I was raised with a very, very feminine mother. She is stunning and beautiful and takes pride in her role as mother, nurterer, servant, wife, homemaker, etc. She did her best to teach me to be feminine. My parents always spoke how boys and girls were different. Well, let me tell you, I was a tomyboy through and through. I wanted always to do the things boys were doing because it interested me more. Bike riding, tree climbing, frogging, fishing, playing army, etc. I hated dolls. HATED the color pink and anything similar. I had a ton of dolls and tea sets and kitchen set, and all the things I was supposed to like, but I didn't. My mom came to the conclusion when I was a teenager that this was the way God made me and to go with it. It honestly was not until I became pregnant and had my son that I began to feel that feminine nature inside of the me. The design and imprint that God creates a women to be born with was bloomed when my son was placed in my arms. You can't force a girl to feel feminine it has to happen on it's own. You can try to nurture it, but if it's in there, it will come out. If it's not, it's the way God made her. Saying that boys and girls are made different is a true statement and an untrue statement. There are stereotypes that boys and girls fall into because much of the time, they are true, but sometimes they aren't.

Telling a little girl she can't do some of the things a boy can do is the wrong message. What you should be telling your children is that they can do anything they want to do and leave it at that. Why make it about gender? Celebrate the gender differences when they are there, but don't squash them before they even have a chance to bloom.

Do your best to teach your daughter to embrace her femininity. That being feminine does not make her less than. That it is empowering and beautiful. That God created this about her as a celebration of who she is. Do the same with your sons. There are little girls that should be treated as delicate flowers because they are, but their are also little girls that God allowed to be tough as nails and accepting that as truth allows those girls to feel perfect and content in their love for God and their love for you. To not allow that to happen can cause little girls to feel like God made a mistake in creating them that way. To feel less than and look for acceptance outside of God's love and her families love.

Anonymous - 12:51 PM - May. 12, 2009

---

Untitled Comment

Wow, Anonymous hit the nail on the head. You are doing your daughter a disservice by teaching her (and allowing her) to be nothing... Seriously!

Scarolina - 3:00 PM - May. 12, 2009

---

<em>Untitled Comment</em>

Oh, Scarolina, why do you continue to come to my blog if you don't like what I say? You could give me your blog address and we could make this a two-way conversation, yeah?

Annonymous, I sincerely appreciate your thoughts. They were well-formed and respectful. The only thing that I truly disagree with is the following statement

"As a Christian mother I would never, ever teach my daughter anything other than she CAN do anything she wants to do. Do not do so limits her potential. It creates a message in her mind that she is less than. "

Yes, we can do anything that we want to do, but our desire shouldn't be to do what WE want, but to do what God wants. I don't think all women are cookie-cutter pink-lovers. I do believe femininity, like anything else, will look different on different women. However, girls are different than boys, created by God with different purposes entirely. We are equal, but different.

Thanks again for your comment. I hope you visit again, and leave a web address.

Edited by MotherJoy on May. 14, 2009 at 11:50 AM

MotherJoy - 12:49 PM - May. 14, 2009

---

Untitled Comment

I agree with your post MJ. I do tell my DD she CAN do anything she wants. But there's better out there. Daycare stinks. Giving away your kids to the goverment to raise at school isn't good either. I encourage my girls to be lovely little ladies who CHOOSE to stay home with thier children. To educated them and teach their children to be strng men and nurturing mothers. Motherhood is the most important thing you can do with your life, to raise them for Jesus. I can't imagine why women ever fought for the right to leave thier kids in someone else's care all day while they toughed it out at work. Here's too raising all little girls to be feminine little ladies.

Mumkins - 1:28 PM - Jun. 8, 2009

---