What I've Learned - A Memoir

This time four years ago I was awaiting the arrival of two things that were very dear to me - our long- prayed-for second child and our first official year of homeschooling. Our oldest son was six and we had tried for about three years to get pregnant. I went through the normal ups and downs and spiritual questioning that every woman who has faced infertility has seen. We were thrilled when the Lord opened my womb, with no help from doctors, and were counting the weeks until our second son came into the world.

As for homeschool, my husband had allowed me to 'try it out' on a temporary basis for my son's K4 and K5 years. I prayed for a year for God to work His will in my husband's heart regarding homeschooling. That year, when our son was six my husband gave his blessing that we could homeschool, and I was busy preparing the state-required paperwork.

I spent hours planning for both the baby and homeschooling. I spent the summer reading birthing books and writing lesson plans. The baby was due in September, so I hoped to get a full month of school done before he came. I worried about how I would do school and care for a baby. I agonized over curriculum and baby-scheduling and came up with a perfect plan. I had objectives for every subject, monthly evaluations, and even a homemade planbook that I had spiral-bound at Staples. I wrote down four different schedules for the baby, faithfully attended childbirth classes, and stocked up on all the sweet-smelling-Johnson&Johnson products I could buy.

Then God happened.

It was our first week of school and it had gone well so far. That Thursday we were set to work on reading, math & science.  While I was sitting in our rocking chair, reading a book to my son, I wet my pants. Or so I thought. When I stood up and more liquid gushed down my leg I realized what had happened. My water broke. A month early. I wasn't scared, but just frustrated that things weren't going according to plan, and I didn't even have a bag packed.

I had no idea what to expect, so I went to the bathroom to see if anything mysterious, like a baby, came out with the water. It hadn't. I left my soaked shorts on the bathroom floor and waddled to the phone in my underwear. My industrious six year old grabbed a towel and followed behind me as I left a trail of amniotic fluid all over our new laminate floors. I called my sister and my husband. I told one to bring me maxi pads and the other to get his butt home from work fast.

I had no idea then that the two things I had been waiting for would come in the same week. Sometimes God surprises us like that. Sometimes He just knocks us plum out with His love - like blessing us with four children in those four years (one is still cooking). 

Four years later, I am again spending the summer planning for another baby and another schoolyear to arrive almost simultaneously. Only this time I have more experience and wisdom to draw from when I'm making my plans. Here's what I've learned about babies, birth, and homeschool during these four years.

• I've learned that rocking my babies to sleep is okay.
• I've learned that hospitals are the worst places to give birth.
• I've learned that what a struggling reader needs more than an oustanding phonics program is an encouraging and relaxed mom who loves him when he succeeds and when he fails.
• I've learned that everything I thought I knew about parenting when raising one compliant child turned to dust when we added three progressively more stubborn children.
• I've learned that my husband can't read my mind when I'm in labor, and even though he  sometimes needs me to tell him what to do, he is the only person I want touching me when I'm having a baby.
• I've learned that school will get done eventually and children are always learning, even if their progress doesn't fall within the parameters set forth by public school.
• I've learned that its harder to break a 2yo from finger sucking than from paci-sucking, but it does make for a cute picture.
• I've learned that all the parenting, birthing, homeschooling experts are really just people and they don't always know everything.
• I've learned that no matter how well-laid out my plans are or how much I think I know, God's ways are better than mine. And if He brings about something in my life that doesn't go according to my plan- well, then I should shove my plans to the backburner and thank the Lord that He loves me enough to lead me on.

4:15 PM - Jul. 1, 2008 - comments {6} - post comment

Stay Tuned

I'm incredibly busy right now with childrearing. I've been trying to take some time to purposely change some things in our home. Its exhausting. I'll give an account at some point, after all the dust has settled. Stay tuned for some blog posts that are bumping around in my brain.

The Conspiracy Theory Post:  a list of my favorite conspiracies

The Submission Post:  duh, its about submission...been thinking on it for awhile.

More posts on childrearing and what not to do...from experience!!!

The School Planning Freak Out Posts: a series of posts where I lay down the expectations and goals for the next year, even though there's an 87% chance that I WON'T meet them.

4:50 PM - Jun. 30, 2008 - comments {1} - post comment

Birthday Pranks

We celebrated my hubby's birthday last weekend. My sis and oldest son concocted a prank to play on him. It involved whipped cream and little children (oh, and one big child...my sister).

He wouldn't know what hit him (okay, he totally did...he is very hard to surprise!)

That was awesome!

What a pair. Its so funny because when these two met almost 9 years ago at my oldest son's 1st birthday party...one of them started a cake fight.  It is still not known who was the culprit! Clearly, my sister won this round.

1:44 PM - Jun. 13, 2008 - comments {1} - post comment

Hawaiin Shirt Day

My in-laws spent last week in Hawaii, and blessed us with some groovy souvenirs from the islands. The boys have cute outfits and koa necklaces, while hubby and I are looking tropical in pretty leis.

11:05 PM - Jun. 8, 2008 - comments {4} - post comment

Totally Bored

I'm so bored. I'm hoping my husband will call. But since he is taking his sweet time, I went searching for something to make me laugh. Here's what I've come up with...funny t-shirts! Can you imagine me wearing these in public?!

11:16 PM - Jun. 2, 2008 - comments {2} - post comment

Daddy Gone Day #1

Hubby is off leading worship at a youth camp for the next seven days. To pass the time, we're trying to do lots of fun stuff. This morning we hung out at my parents' house. Then we made a run to Sam's for a week's worth of junk food (ie, quick and easy). We'll be eating off paper plates three times a day, so I don't have to worry about dishes. Woohoo.

Once we got home, we filled up the kiddie pool with soap and water and enjoyed a huge bubble bath. I had a video, but I have no clue how to upload it to youtube or anything like that. I'll try, though.

In March, when I left for a week, hubby did very well with the kids. I hope I do as well! We plan on going swimming several times and maybe even heading to the 'beach'  at some point. I have two cakes to make this week, too, so that should kill some time during the evenings. One is for a relative's baby shower. The other is for hubby's birthday party on Sunday night. I'll post pics, of course!

6:12 PM - May. 31, 2008 - comments {1} - post comment

Pukefest 2008

We are on night four of Pukefest 2008. Wednesday night and Thursday night the three littles turned into puke monsters and dirtied every blanket or sheet in the house. Friday night, my oldest son and I became the vomit kings and managed to puke everywhere but the toilet.

My husband pointed out OFTEN that the 3yo managed to make it to the toilet each time, but th 9yo and the 30yo didnt. It was nasty. I know my husband loves me because he has seen me with chunky orange liquid rocketing from my mouth and dripping off my clothes. Attractive, yes?

Tonight, we assume that oldest son and myself will still continue to vomit, though right now we are feeling fine. I'll update you in the morning, if you are interested in our bodily fluids.

10:40 PM - May. 3, 2008 - comments {2} - post comment

Busy and Updates

i have not done much writing since I've been back. Shame on me. I have a few things that need polishing before I can send them off to the editor. I have a homeschool article to research and write, so I just have tons going on.

Not to mention that I'm having company over this week, so I'm in a frenzy to get the house ready. I'm finishing up several projects that I started awhile ago, like the kids' bathroom.  We tore the wallpaper off, and then realized that it was tearing down sheetrock with it. So, we left the kids' bathroom in an unfinished state for several months. Now, they have a cute beach-themed bathroom. The theme was my oldest son's idea. I just told him that I didn't want it looking like a Florida condo. :(

I'm also working on curtains for the living room and kitchen. I'm praying they turn out okay. I'll post pictures if they do. Hopefully I'll post our Easter pics as well.

Check in later.

2:40 PM - Mar. 31, 2008 - comments {0} - post comment

Striped Hair

In anticipation of my trip, I planned a hair appointment several months ago. I decided to take the plunge and get my hair dyed. I wanted something different. What I got is striped hair. I used to look at women with obviously dyed hair and think they looked so fake.

I look fake.

But I like it. Its different. It makes me feel good. And it'll grow out if it doesn't grow on me. The best part is that my husband likes it. I think he was tired of the frumpy-homeschool-mom look that I was sporting most days. He definately likes the trendy divaish thing I've got going on now.

I love being a homeschool mom. I just don't want to look like one.

10:06 AM - Mar. 5, 2008 - comments {2} - post comment

Bringin' Back Frumpy

I'll be going to Mount Hermon in less than two weeks. I'm excited and nervous. My mom and mil have been sweet and bought me a few outfits to take with me. If I were a bit more confidant, I'd pose for yall, but that's not going to happen.

I'm not a fashionista by any stretch of the imagination. Normally, I'm comfy in sweats and t-shirts. But, I felt so pretty trying on my new clothes, and my hubby definately appreciated them. So, I think I need to work on taking better care of myself. He deserves me to look my best. No, I can't look like Cindy Crawford, but I don't have to look like a dowdy, tired housewife, either.

I'm totally loving the babydoll shirts. Those are perfect for robust gals, like myself. Maternity fasions have gotten less clingy and much more lose, which I love. Honestly, I'm tired of seeing supertight maternity shirts stretched over bulging bellies. Where's the love for mumus? When I was pregnant with my first (10 years ago), maternity shirts were made of yards and yards of gathered fabric. Not flattering, but it sure did hide the belly!

I guess I'm just trying to bring back frumpy.

2:34 PM - Feb. 29, 2008 - comments {1} - post comment

Vacation Workout

Lighthouses are beautiful. This weekend we started our vacation by walking up this one. It is not the best way to start a vacation. Especially, if you are overweight and not used to walking up 178 stairs with four children. Our legs were sore the entire time. They are still sore, but it was a great experience.

The gorgeous picture is courtesy of my hot hubby's mad photo skills. NO editing! None of the beach pictures needed editing because of the great sunset lighting.

9:39 PM - Feb. 25, 2008 - comments {2} - post comment

Busy Weekend

Today was a loooonnngggggggggggg day. We spent the afternoon in a darkened bowling alley with 1400 kids and rockin' booty music. We were at my nephew's birthday party and the boys really enjoyed bowling. It was the first time for our 3yo, and he was so excited to go "real" bowling. You see, he's been playing Wii bowling, and he can beat everyone in the house. So, he was ecstatic to get his hands on a real bowling ball.

After the mass hysteria of the birthday party, we ran errands and then ended up rocking out at a youth praisefest at 8pm. So, we're pooped. Tomorrow is the 2yo's birthday party, a very small family affair...but it still requires cleaning and cake baking. My mom was a gem and cleaned while we were out today. The cake is in the oven, and will only get minimal decorations...some crumbled graham crackers for sand, and some spray icing for water...woohoo.

Have a great Sunday.

9:38 PM - Jan. 26, 2008 - comments {1} - post comment

Barbara Curtis

      For my birthday my sis and bro-in-law gave me a gift certificate to Barnes and Noble. Last week I made my purchase online and today I got my books in the mail. Yeah!!!!  Here's what I got.

    Originally I was going to buy "Passionate Housewives, Desperate for God", but these two just called to me. Barbara Curtis, the author, is going to be a teacher at The Mount Hermon Christian Writer's Conference, so I decided to check out a few of her books. I knew  from her blog, that she was a homeschool mom with lots of kids, so I wanted to see what she wrote about.

     I really need the refresher for preschool teaching, because I've got three preschoolers coming up and its been six years since I've "taught" preschool. The book is great, so far. It stays true to the idea that mommy is the best teacher for her children, and that real education doesn't happen in a classroom. I'm encouraged and I hope I can start to use some of her suggestions this week.

     I bought the other book because I have a hate-hate relationship with my laundry room, my laundry, and most other housecleaning tasks. I read the first chapter online @ Amazon and I was hooked. If God can meet me in my laundry room...He can meet me anywhere. I'll post more details as I read, but I'm super excited.

Thanks sis and bro for the presents. I will enjoy the hours I get to sit quietly and read, read, read.

9:38 PM - Jan. 21, 2008 - comments {0} - post comment

New Year Update

     We have had such a busy and lazy (hm?) time. Our past two weeks have been full of fun activities and laced with many naps in between. My husband is back at work today, and the boys and I are working toward getting back to 'normal'.  I don't expect that we'll be anywhere near normal until the weekend. I'll probably use the rest of the week to get the house cleaned up and prepare lesson plans for the rest of the year.

     I have to update my Thirty Before Thirty list. I have a few things to add. I may not make it to thirty things, but that is totally okay with me. We're in the midst of travel planning, making airline and hotel reservations for my trip in March. I'm excited but getting more and more nervous.

     I'll post again later today with more updates. I hope everyone had a great time during Christmas and New Years.

2:17 PM - Jan. 2, 2008 - comments {0} - post comment

This post was made possible by a generous donation from the

My Sister Rocks Foundation.

Unlike the previous 420 posts on this blog I am writing this one while reclining on my comfy sofa.  I can do this because my sister and brother-in-law gave me a laptop for Christmas. After crying like a baby, I immediately felt like a big loser, and not in the tv show way. With this gift the sis and bro have sucessfully changed the gift giving dynamic. I mean, a pound of cheap coffee and a Best Buy giftcard cannot compete with a laptop. I know its not a competition, I am just floored by how thoughtful and generous they were. My sis also made this gorgeous laptop cover.

To see and order other beautifully handcrafted items, visit my sis's store, The Purple Martin.

We had a great, but hectic Christmas. I'll have more updates for my Thirty Before Thirty List soon.

2:42 PM - Dec. 26, 2007 - comments {1} - post comment

The Fun Time of Weekend Prep

12:57 PM - Dec. 7, 2007 - comments {2} - post comment

Much To Do

This is a busy week, and I probably won't blog very much.  I have an article to write for the publication that I mentioned yesterday.  Its a last minute thing, the editor wanted a Christmas article and I told him that I could have one in 24 hours.  Hopefully, I didn't just chop my legs off!  Aside from that I have a cake to make this week, and two more this month.  I'm excited about the chance to get creative, but I know that it will be hard amidst the usual Christmas stress.

Have a great Tuesday, and remember Advent is coming up.  Pull out your wreaths and candles and get ready to light the first one this Sunday!

1:22 PM - Nov. 27, 2007 - comments {0} - post comment

Black Friday

Two years ago I posted about this Ridiculous After-Thanksgiving Ritual.  I had to edit my post because I sounded so rude.  Praise God for helping me to find a more gentle voice on this blog!

This year has been a huge leap for us in the terms of the materialism and Christmas.  It started with a revelation on wish lists and has pervaded our entire "giving" mentality. I was writing out wish lists to give to the grandmas (at their request) and realized how selfish it seemed to give someone a list of stuff we wanted.  I informed both sets of grandparents yesterday that we would not be making lists next year.  A gift should come from their heart, not from a list of stuff the kids want. 

My husband has always enjoyed buying gifts and spending money at Christmas.  Hubby has been slowly growing more aware of how little stuff we really need, and how ingrained materialism is in our culture.  Yesterday, seeing a 200 person line form at Best Buy ten hours before the big Black Friday sale clinched it for my hubby, solidified his thoughts on having and getting "stuff" . 

In another post from two years ago, I wrote this to explain why we purchased  a certain gift for our child...

I think our biggest reason, some might see as petty, was to totally blow our son away at Christmas.  We just want to see that big smile, complete surprised face when he opens his gift.  It might be petty, but for a parent, its the best part of Christmas. 

Well, I'm done trying to blow away our children with presents.  That is not the best part of Christmas, and how could I have been so shallow?  Its true, our nine year old is already jaded.  He has had some huge Christmases, especially when he was an only child.  As our family begins to stop focusing on presents at Christmas, it will be hard for him.  He has the experience of walking into the living room and seeing it covered with gifts and bows and all the glitter that makes a great childhood memory.  I worry about if he will be disappointed.  BUT isn't the temporary "pain" that he might feel, worth the lesson that he'll learn? 

If you go out today and brave the crowds in the name of good deal, please remember that you represent Christ.  Be friendly and patient.  And no rude comments like I made two years ago!  Ugh...I shudder at the memory.

9:14 AM - Nov. 23, 2007 - comments {4} - post comment

Girly Night

My hubby and oldest son are away on a church camping trip.  So, I'm having a girly night.  Yes, the three little boys are still here, but they've been neatly tucked into bed.  Praise the Lord for the end of Daylight Savings.  It was dark at 6:30, so they all went to sleep quickly.

For our girly meal, I made a super-easy spinach quiche.  The little boys loved it, but my picky man and man-in-training would have hated it.  They are probably glad to be eating hot dogs even if they're bums are freezing off.  The Hallmark channel will be the channel of choice for tonight, no ESPN or Military channel for me!  I've seen enough men going after each other, either on the football field or the battlefield, to last a lifetime.

Oh, the last part of my girly night is to do laundry, because laundry is a girl's best friend.  What?  They told you it was diamonds?  Oh not, lest we get spoiled.  Its matching six different sizes of socks and folding four hundred pair of underwear in one evening.  That is what every girl wants!

I'm off to wallow in my pile of cash...er...clothes, like the queen that I am.

7:05 PM - Nov. 9, 2007 - comments {1} - post comment

Fat Behinds and Covered Wagons

I know I need to get back to the theological discussion that I started a few days ago, but it'll have to wait another day.  Tonight, I'll just check in and share a few tidbits (note to self: find out where the word "tidbits" came from) from the past few days.

The total fear of squishing this fat behind into an airplane seat has inspired me to walk each day since I found out about my trip to California in March.  Three days of walking is a pretty good record for me, which is totally pathetic!  Other details about the conference have me in a small tailspin, but God continues to remind me that He's in charge. 

Hubby and I loaded the kids into our covered wagon and spent the day at a historic reenactment town on Wednesday.  We had a blast!  My oldest was in a group of homeschoolers that was "performing" school for the tourists (who were all PS school field trips).  They sat in the old schoolhouse and acted out a regular day of school for almost two hours.  My son read his composition, worked on a slate, and even read in front of the group out of a McGuffey reader.  For those who don't know, my son hates reading.  I was so proud that he did it, even though he was afraid.  Later I told him that he wouldn't be brave if he hadn't been scared.   

There were two homeschooling families who worked at the historic reenactment town.  They simply brought there children with them, and the children played a part in the town as well.  There was a boy named "Leviticus" who was about 10, and went through the town staring and stoking the fires in all the buildings.  WOW!! What a way to learn and live.  I can't think of anything better!

That's about all from me.  I'm tired and I have a lot of work to do.  There are four thousand loads of laundry on my bedroom floor.  They've been sorted into piles: white, darks, lights, and probably-not-dirty-but-we'll-wash-you-anyway. 

10:01 PM - Nov. 8, 2007 - comments {2} - post comment