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Mar. 31, 2008
Getting It All Done (What can a 2-Year-Old Do?)
For the past several weeks, we have been adjusting to having a newborn in the house once again. This is my fourth baby, but this time it is different. This is the first time I've had a newborn AND a 2-year-old toddler at the same time (my older ones are all 5+ years apart).
I've had to pay more attention to my toddler's training. I've had to be more consistent. I've had to be sure of what my expectations are for my toddler, and then follow through. But it's not just my toddler! There's a whole ship to run here --and we just keep running it tighter and tighter, little by little.
Here is my list of my "expectations" of what a 2-year-old can do, and things we are successfully training and teaching ours to do. I do not want to give the impression that he does all these things perfectly; he does not. But most days, he meets the expectations.
These are the things that have helped IMMENSELY in keeping the sanity around here (my sanity, to be exact), and have made it so that we are (mostly) back on track with our schedule, our school work, and our chores.
Our two-year-old will be three soon, but here is what we expect at this point in time:
1. Instantly and happily obey reasonable and simple commands (such as, "Come here," "Put your truck away right now," "Pick up the pencil under your desk," "Bring mommy a diaper for the baby.") This is the area he seems to test most often.
2. Stop whining or fussing when told, and be happy. Sometimes it takes a few minutes of sitting somewhere by himself to "regroup"--but senseless, habitual, or "pay-attention-to me" spoiled whining and fussing is never allowed to continue more than a couple of minutes. Scowling or pouting in rebellion to parental authority is not allowed. We help him check his face in the mirror. He must make a choice to be happy to obey and stay under his parents' authority.
This does not include the cries of a wounded heart or bodily injury! There are times for real cries! Discernment must be used! Sometimes, a tiny "boo-boo" can be blown up into a big fuss for no reason--we don't allow it. But sometimes a tiny boo-boo can come with a big fall or a big scare, and comforting is needed! Sometimes a tired toddler has a true outpouring of sadness or disappointment . That takes comforting and reassurance. Parents know when their child is truly hurting, and know when they're fussing or crying or whining for no reason. Think you don't know? If you find yourself getting irritated when you hear the whine or fuss, and feel irritated about having to comfort them or deal with them, it's probably because you know deep down they shouldn't be upset! If you find yourself wanting to scoop them up and kiss them, desperate to take their hurt away, then it's probably a true hurt. Often you can tell by the tone of their voice.
3. Put away his own clean clothes neatly and in the right drawers.
4. Help put away the clean clothes for the rest of the family (he has been shown exactly where things go and how).
5. Help sort dirty laundry into different bins and loads (for example, whites, reds, darks, and "jeans & towels.")
6. Pick up his own toys and put each in the right place, and put other children's things away in the right place, or even other household things (any one's shoes back to the right closet, trivets off the table and back where they belong, baby toys/things put away, etc.)
7. Put away the clean silverware out of the dishwasher (sharp knives taken out first)
8. Set the table neatly--entirely unassisted--once the dishes are placed within reach (including filling water glasses from the water cooler)
9. "Dump" or stir anything while baking/cooking (and rarely stir hot pans ONLY with careful help and supervision)
10. Knead pizza dough, place pepperoni on pizza, sprinkle shredded cheese on pizza, place balls of cookie dough on cookie sheets, cut biscuits and place on cookie sheets, place frozen french fries or tater tots on cookie sheets, etc.
11. Dry dishes and put them away (the ones within reach, such as pans, silverware, etc.)
12. Help wash floors with a sponge
13. Vacuum (he has his own electric "stick" vacuum) or sweep (has his own broom that dad cut down to his size). I don't expect perfection! I expect him only to work willingly and happily alongside the rest of us.
14. Pull off dirty pillow cases (very funny and can take several minutes!), and help put new ones on
15. Carry out an "assigned" activity at an assigned place for an assigned (reasonable) amount of time. For example:
-Read your library books for 15 minutes. You can put them away when the timer goes off.
-Color at your desk until I'm done teaching math to your brother.
-Get your blocks and some cars and you may build garages right here on the school floor until 10:30 (he likes pretending he can read the clock).
During those assigned times, I do not allow him to get up and wander or break the "boundary" I have set. If I am teaching math in the school room, he must stay in there, and he may not even cross a finger out the door of the room. If I have told him to sit at his desk, he may not get up! If I have told him to sit in a certain place to read, he must stay in that place.
16. Help bring in firewood (one piece at a time)--but, boy! Does this work ever make him feel grown-up, tough, and strong!
17. Help shovel snow--I don't expect him to do much himself, but I do expect him to have the "happy working" attitude as he shovels and does what his older brother does. Incidentally, the attitude is not a problem. He LOVES shoveling (and eating) snow. He feels important and strong!
18. Help pick up sticks in the yard before mowing.
19. Help plant seeds in a garden, help pick beans and tomatoes and corn, etc., help weed a garden, and hold the hose to water a garden (2-year-olds are experts at handling a spraying hose!)
20. Help wash the car
21. Help his sister dust.
22. Run the pedal on the sewing machine, closely following "stop" and "go" commands.
23. Play board games (Candyland, Finders Keepers, Hi Ho Cherry O, Memory, Uno)
24. Do school work: He can identify some capital and lowercase letters on flash cards and make the sounds that go with each, identify some states and countries on a map, identify many shapes and colors, draw simple lines through a simple maze or trace a simple pattern of dots (to form a line or a circle), color with specific colors, follow simple coloring instructions, practice counting, identify some numbers ("2" and "5" are still confused a little bit, but Uno is helping, and "6" and 9" will be figured out soon, I'm sure!). School work is always more fun when you get a marshmallow or a raisin each time you correctly identify a letter or number, or answer a question correctly!
That's all I can think of for now, but there are other components to keeping things running well in this home! Never is an expectation created without thorough and consistent training. He has needed to be shown everything. Some people assume a child will understand by "common sense." The reality is "common sense" exists only after it is developed.
My older children know their expectations for chores and independent schoolwork, and they are expected to get it done. We have been "pressing" on for five years now, trying to get a handle on chores and school work, and little by little, things get easier and easier. Now, the latest rule is that all upstairs chores are done and every one is showered and dressed before eating breakfast (beds made, rooms clean, laundry started for the day, and any clean laundry put away, vacuumed if necessary, closets or drawers cleaned out or straightened, if necessary). After breakfast, downstairs chores are done (which are easy, because we've learned to get a head start on them the night before just before we go to bed!), then each of the older children start their independent school work. I then flit between nursing the baby, doing schoolwork with the 2-year-old, and teaching/helping the older ones. In the afternoon, when the 2-year-old goes down for his nap, that's when I do any necessary "teaching" portions of school, such as history, or math for each child. But I teach history once a week for about 1.5 to 2 hours, and I give independent assignments, so a whole week of history subject is taught in one day.
In addition, if I am nursing the baby or need to get something else done (or even just need a rest after a restless night with a newborn), I expect that I can ask either one of older children (sister, age 9, or brother, age 13) to take the toddler to play for a set amount of time (usually 30 minutes to one hour). Not just keep an eye on him, but happily engage in play with him: play-dough, make a craft with glitter glue, punches, and markers, play Legos, fly a kite outside, read books to him, set up a hot wheels race track or build towers with blocks... .
And that is what is happening right now. I've been getting many emails asking for me to post something again, that since the baby is sleeping soundly, I sent the toddler outside to play with his older sister (today, my oldest is helping Dad fix one of our cars that broke down--he always is excused from his regular routine around here if Dad has a project like that!). I told them to play outside until 1:00, then they will come in for lunch, the 2-year-old will take his nap, and sister will get back to her school work. It is now 12:55, so, with that, I will sign off.
In Jesus' name, keep pressing on! It can be done! It can be!
God bless you! |
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