After mentioning it on an earlier post, some of you asked how I lost the baby weight (baby E was born in February). I've had this post in draft for some time. It has required much prayer and meditation. This is an area where it is difficult for many women, including me, to be open and honest. It's often just a longtime habit to hide so much of our real struggles in this area!
At first, I wanted to take the spiritual approach in this post, and write this like an advice column, like I do in almost all my other posts. But then I realized that this is an area that is not entirely spiritual for me. It is largely so, but there are still parts of the weight loss struggle where it is all I can do to just blunder along, mired down in self-control struggles and obsessions. So, I'm going to take more of the "personal journal" approach. Also, as is typical for me, this post has turned out to be rather lengthy. I guess it would be hard to honestly sum up a 25-year struggle in a short post. Over the years, I've grown spiritually as well as in personal experience, and lots of things came to mind as I meditated on my weight loss methods and ideas. Maybe you will be encouraged or inspired by reading my story, and maybe you will get some helpful ideas!
If you don't make it through this post, at least know that down below I recommend the book that helped me in a HUGE way: The Diet Alternative by Diane Hampton.
After having the baby, I settled in at 35 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight. Our family eats fairly healthily and responsibly, and at first I simply tried cutting back my calories, to no avail. I only lost a couple of pounds. I knew I would need to exercise.
I tried walking 2 miles a day, to the end of our road and back. That was not working for me. It used to work for me (this is the fourth time I have successfully dropped the baby weight), but not this time. This time, I am too old! The arthritis in my feet, ankles, knees, hips, and back made it too difficult to walk away from our home, especially considering that I was carrying a newborn on my front and pushing a 40-pound toddler in the stroller. In addition to problem of the mosquitos eating me and the baby (I didn't want to use bug spray because I was nursing), I would get to the end of the road, be a mile from home, and my feet or back would seize up, and getting back home was just miserable.
I prayed for a treadmill.
God gave me a treadmill in mid-July. A friend who is moving gave me one.
When I got the treadmill, I had 30 pounds to lose. I got on it.
When I first got on the treadmill, my goal was to do 30 minutes a day. The first day, I could barely do 7 laps (1.75 miles) in those 30 minutes, and I could only jog for less than 1/8 mile at a time. Every day I got on the treadmill, I tried to go a little further in that 30 minutes. I have had the treadmill for 10 weeks now. Today I did 9.5 laps in 30 minutes, and I jogged almost 7 full laps straight (almost 1.75 miles). My next goal is to do 10 laps in 30 minutes.
I don't always do a 30 minute session. Sometimes I do 60 minutes, and instead of running, I walk at a 5% incline as fast as I can. Once, doing this (with a little jogging), I did four miles in 60 minutes.
Whatever I do, I really try to work out--I keep at a hard pace and push as much as I can.
My goal is to exercise before the family wakes up so that I don't have to take away from them to exercise during the day. Sometimes I am able to do this. If I don't do this, then I can trade some of our rest time or project time in the afternoon for treadmill time, but what makes that difficult is the fact that I need a second shower when I do this.
I don't exercise every day. I do most days, if I can. Sometimes my feet or ankles are too sore and swollen from arthritis, so I will give them a break. Sometimes, there are just more important things to do. But if I miss the morning workout, I do try to get one in at some point if I can.
I dropped 10 pounds the first week I worked on the treadmill, in addition to eating less.
As for other toning exercises, if I am watching TV or a video (not often), I will do sit-ups, leg lifts, or crunches. When I lay in bed at night, sometimes before I go to sleep, I will do some sit-ups or leg lifts or arm lifts. When my husband and I were watching the Olympics late after the children went to bed, I got lots of sit-ups in then! When I walk on the treadmill (not run), sometimes I will do some arm exercises at the same time. I have no set goal or routine for these extra exercises. I just do them if I think about them.
Here is the one toning exercise that works the best for me. I sit on the couch, then scoot my behind up to the very edge where I balance on it at an angle like a teeter-totter, legs straight out, only my toes touching the floor. I put my hands behind my head, or put them up and hold on to the top of the couch behind my head (for stability), then pull my knees up towards my chest. I try to do three sets of 10. My stomach muscles feel firmer by the next day every time I do this exercise.
For how I eat to lose weight, I definitely do not have any routines or rituals. I do know that this time around, it was much harder, I think because I am just getting older. For the first time in my life, I saw the scale go up 3 pounds and a waistband get tighter just for eating a piece of cake. I had heard about things like that happening, but I never believed it. I just thought women were exaggerating. Now I believe it!
I don't have the money to buy special diet foods, so I don't buy frozen meals, snack packs, fresh fruit or produce. I just have to be simple, repetitive, and have self control. I pray a lot. I meditate on scripture a lot, especially scriptures about self-control (fruit of the Spirit) and gluttony (Hast thou found honey? Eat so much as is sufficient for thee.) I also don't believe in following fad diets (Atkins, South Beach, etc.) I believe we need to be able to exercise self-control and eat wisely regardless of the situation we find ourselves in, regardless of the food God provides.
In general, I do most of our family's baking with whole grain flour (bread, biscuits, pancakes, muffins, tortillas, pizza crust, noodles) and cook with lean meats (salmon, venison, chicken, quail), and vegetables. We use lots of beans and brown/wild rice. The salmon, venison, and quail are provided through the fishing and hunting of my immediate and extended family. A lot of our vegetables are provided by our garden, or my dad's or grandfather's.
I do not generally cook breakfast or lunch for my family, so I eat my own thing for breakfast or lunch, and I cook dinner and eat dinner with my family. Sometimes I cook breakfast (pancakes, eggs and potatoes), and I may or may not eat any. Until dinner time, I try to just eat so much as is sufficient for me, and I limit myself to the types of things that I feel are best to eat for losing weight. I eat one thing for breakfast. If I need a snack, I eat one thing. On a typical dieting day, until dinner time, I will probably eat up to four things from the following list. When I need to curb my appetite because I don't think I am truly hungry, I drink a cup of herbal tea. If I still feel hungry after drinking the tea, then I assess that I probably really am hungry and eat one thing from the list. Sometimes I just get downright shaky and I know its true hunger.
Here is what I try to stick to:
Yogurt
Cereal (1 cup serving with skim milk)
Whole grain bread (one slice), toasted
A piece of fruit (if we have any)
Fresh or frozen vegetables (I like lima beans!)
Brown rice/beans
Oatmeal
An egg
Leftover lean meat (salmon or chicken), about 2-4 ounces, if we have any.
I do sometimes buy a couple of extra things that I feel "help" me. If I can, I buy light yogurt (like Dannon). I also buy good coffee and a couple of nice, flavorful herbal teas. Sometimes I will chew a piece of sugar-free gum.
I do try to break (and keep broken) the habit of putting things into my mouth. I generally, as a rule, avoid diet soda, sugar free drinks, and any other low-calorie snack (like plain popcorn or celery or whatever) that would enable me to continue to put things in my mouth habitually all day. At one point in my past, I was a smoker! I know that part of the oral habit is the motion itself as well as the chewing and the action of swallowing! (sounds weird, but it's true). I try to be aware of the habit of putting something in my mouth because of that, even if it means I would be putting in something with no calories. Sweet stuff poses the biggest problem for me, because I get used to the taste of sweet. That's why I avoid sweet drinks, and try to stick to water or unsweetened coffee or herbal tea.
It is very hard, if we have sweets in the house, for me to stay away. Some days I can. Some days I don't. One way God really has helped me in this area is through the example of David in the Bible. Remember the story where David wanted water from a particular well so badly that his men risked their lives to get the water and bring it to him?(2 Samuel 23) He had a fleshly craving for something that tasted good to him. When he got the water, David realized how his flesh had ruled his actions and even endangered the lives of others (think about that!). So instead of drinking the water, he poured it out on the ground as a sacrifice to the Lord. (Yes, there are many other factors and lessons from this story, but you get this point!)
The Holy Spirit has brought this to my mind many times. Sometimes, when I find I have a cookie in my hand, or something else I craved and just had to get, I will remember this story, I will walk over to the trash can, and throw it in (or throw it down the garbage disposal)--REGARDLESS OF THE COST. I will thank the Lord for being with me, and helping me be aware of my fleshly desires, and offer what I was eating or about to eat--what I wanted so badly, as a sacrifice to Him, to praise Him for His goodness, and as an act of my faith (especially faith in His provision) and my loyalty to Him, and as a symbol of His Lordship in my life.
Although I set goals for my weight loss, I try to be flexible. I try, instead of setting a goal in stone, to assess the areas where I still can see and feel fat. If I have flabby areas or jiggly areas, I still feel I have weight to lose. I know that any extra weight I can get off will help the arthritis in my feet, knees, and hips. At this point, although I'm looking much better and fitting into all my pre-pregnancy clothes, I still have plenty of those areas (and doctor just said to lose 10 more to help my feet!). I will probably not lose much more in size, but I'm going to try losing one pound at a time, and stop when it seems my body should stop and I feel healthy and feel like I'm at a place I can maintain good health. At nearly 6 feet tall, when I feel I'm a good, healthy weight and size, I'll stay about a size 8-10, and stay in weight between 170 and 180 pounds (right now I'm at 182, all size 10's fit, and a lot of 8's). I weighed 215 after the baby was born. I weighed 210 when I got the treadmill in July.
As a balance, however, I do like to have some accountability. Right now, I have a weight ticker, like a thermometer, drawn up the side of our school room marker board so that my children and my husband can see my progress (or regress).
And through it all, I pray, pray, pray. I try to constantly abide in the Lord, and glorify Him in all that I do.
I try to walk with Him, and live for Him, and submit to Him always. Especially in regards to this area of my life. This area is the toughest for me. Even tougher than dealing with anger, or patience, or keeping my house clean, or anything else! I have a lot of struggles in this area. What struggles?
What I eat, how much I obsess about what I eat, how much time I spend exercising, how much time I spend obsessing about getting the weight off and why I want it off, and the vanity and pride, and even immodesty (because of what clothes fit and how they look) that tries to creep in having a thinner body. I like being a healthy weight because it is so much easier to get dressed--clothes fit easily. But I struggle against the fleshly nature that makes me feel prideful in pulling on the smaller clothes.
More on the vanity and pride (yes, I am confessing my faults here, as honestly as possible): I definitely have signs of vanity in my life still, and I continue to pray for God to make me aware of when I am doing any of the following so that I can repent:
-Being overly concerned with how I look
-Being uncomfortable receiving compliments
-Feeling depressed or anxious because of my weight or size
-Comparing myself to others
All in all, this area is full of spiritual weaknesses for me, but overall, whether I'm dieting or not, my goal is just to live for Him. I belong to Him. Jesus is my Lord. I long to please Him. My goal is really not just to be a healthy weight. My goal is to be a godly woman, and that includes a healthy weight. Why? Because it is a testimony of self-control. I'm not saying that you have to be perfectly thin to be a good testimony--that's silly. But you and I both know that, in general, someone who is seriously overweight most likely has, or has had, a self-control problem in the area of eating.
A few years ago, a drunkard we know was speaking with a pastor about his lack of self-control regarding alcohol. The pastor said, "I don't know what it is like to face the battle you face." While rubbing his belly, the drunkard replied, "Really?" Because that pastor was overweight, his testimony in the area of self-control seriously affected his ability to minister to the drunkard (BTW: the pastor was deeply affected by the comment and started working hard to lose weight).
Sure, it is also possible to be overweight and still exhibit the fruit of self-control. I know where I stand on this (when I am overweight, I can honestly evaluate whether I am lacking in self control), and you know where you stand on this.
But what else makes a godly woman?
A godly woman is (this is from my journal this week):
-Quick to listen, slow to speak, and when she does speak, it is words of wisdom, exhortation, and love.
-An eye and an ear for others, full of care and compassion
-Calm, peaceful, free of worry or stress, calming to others
-Still (she knows that He is God)
-Fruit bearing (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, meekness, self-control)
-Never hurried--even when hurried! Serene, relaxed
-Flexible according to God's leading and promptings
-Puts other's plans, comforts, and desires first
-Modest in dress, behavior, and conversation
-Meek, humble, serving, and the first to ask forgiveness
-Biblical priorities are clear and in order
-Is home, focused on husband, children
-Has rest, trust, and faith in the Lord
A great book that helped me "turn the corner" on weight loss and make it a spiritual journey instead of a fleshly one is The Diet Alternative by Diane Hampton. This book helped me realize that, basically, if I am abiding in Christ, I am going to have self-control. I am going to eat as He would eat, if He is living through me. For example, if He would not eat 4 donuts, then I wouldn't if I am letting Him live through me--where I am weak, He is strong! His actions become my actions! I highly, highly, HIGHLY recommend this book. Weight loss has been a struggle my whole life. I have read many books and tried many pills and diets (in the past--before walking with the Lord), but when I picked up this book 5 years ago, all that changed forever. I no longer need diet help except abiding in my Lord. This book also helped me realize how to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and to respond to His promptings. Especially regarding anytime I am "sneaking" food (as in, I don't want the kids or my husband to see me eating that--you know what I'm talking about! That's a tough one, isn't it?!) If I am sneaking, it's probably not something I should be doing! I am now very aware of "sneaking" and the Holy Spirit helps me avoid this.
Another area where God transformed my mind is He taught me that it is OKAY TO THROW FOOD AWAY! You see, most of us are taught that it is a "shame to waste food." And, "think of all those starving children in Africa."
Here is what God taught me instead. Pay attention!
It is actually MORE of a sin to eat more than you need than it is to throw extra food away.
You see, it is easy for God to provide too much food, and it is very often that He does just that, especially here in America, where He has blessed most of us with an abundance. We are not being a bad steward just by throwing away the food left on our plate once we've eaten "what is sufficient." I am not being a bad steward by throwing away the pizza crusts (I always eat mine, I'm talking about every one else's!), or that stale donut, or what's left on the kid's plates, or even the four bites of sandwich someone left with that expensive lunch meat and cheese! God provided the Israelites 100 times more quail than they could have eaten. The ones who ate too much were judged harshly. Even though I'm sure some of them were thinking: "We don't want this quail to go to waste!" God knew in their hearts that they were really just greedy and filling their fleshly lusts. They didn't realize that their thought process of "Let's not waste this" was actually just an excuse to feed their fleshly lusts. If they really KNEW God, they would have realized God could have provided quail in any amount at any time. God was more concerned with their self-control and their hearts being perfect towards Him, and their faith in Him and His provision. Subsequently, He provided them more manna than they needed each day. They were commanded to just eat enough, and then throw away the leftovers.
So, how does this affect me? I remember that my God will always provide my needs and that it is a sin to eat more than is sufficient for me. I still make efforts to be a good steward of my grocery budget. Often times I cook meals so that the family has leftovers for another meal or for lunch. However, I get the leftovers off the table and put away quickly. Also, many times (much more now than before), I throw away or get in the sink, as quickly as possible, the crumbs/leftovers that I would have a tendency to "finish off" like the extra frosting in a bowl (get water in the bowl!), the extra piece of PBJ or grilled cheese my toddler didn't eat (into the trash), and things like that.
I fully believe God will honor you and bless you with His abundant provision if you do not worry about throwing away something because you are worried about what it cost you. God is bigger than the 75 cents that a candy bar cost you. Or the $1.00 for that extra cheeseburger from the dollar menu. Or the 50 cents the stale donut cost. Throw it out!
Another way God has transformed my mind is helping me to remember that if I don't eat the thing I want today, it's not like I won't ever get the opportunity to eat that thing again. Let me see if I can explain. Growing up, we did not have a lot of money, and therefore, not a lot of treats (fast food, ice cream, candy, pizza). When we got it, we ate every crumb. Why? Because we didn't know when we would get something like that again. I still have a tendency to subconsciously think like that, as ridiculous as that may seem. I now am able to respond to the prompting of the Holy Spirit that reminds me God will always provide me good things and right things. I don't need to overeat now just because there is a treat provided at the moment. There will be plenty of good things in my life (the manna principle, again!).
I am also learning that there are times to just drop the dieting thing for a season. For example: PMS week (like this week). It is all I can do to get through that week spiritually without worrying about losing weight! In the first place, I instantly go up 5 pounds. I also feel achy, irritable, tired, unmotivated, and sometimes downright discouraged. I have learned to just wait it out, abiding in the Lord. The extra five pounds goes away after about 5 days, and then I am able to get back on track. Believe it or not, ice cream is a comfort to me during this time! When I am feeling overwhelmed, discouraged, and tired, sitting with a hot cup of tea just doesn't cut it as much as sitting with a little bowl of Moose Tracks. It is easier, when I am feeling this lousy, to thank God for the blessings and get a smile back on my face with Moose Tracks than with herbal tea (although I'm sure God would get me through it without the ice cream, this is something I enjoy and count as a blessing). I blunder through those few days, focusing on my biblical priorities (loving my husband and children and not making them the target of my irritability as much as possible), take a deep breath, and get back on track. Usually, the quick 5-pound drop when my body gets back on track is a great motivator and a great way to start back in trying to lose another pound or so!
Another example of when I dropped the diet for a season is when my mother in law came to visit. It was not feasible to exercise (the treadmill would have woken her up, and we stayed too busy to fit it in later in the day). I ate responsibly, but I didn't worry about it and just enjoyed her visit, and made sure meal times were enjoyable and a blessing to her.
But in closing, the biggest thing I have learned about dieting is this: Abiding in Christ and growing in self-control affects all areas of life. Not just dieting. We need temperance in all areas of our flesh: our tongue, our work, our choices of activities, our spending... For me, dieting is not just dieting. It is letting Christ grow me in temperance in all areas of my life. Last night in a class, I heard Nancy Leigh DeMoss say on CD that the Bible says that if you can learn control of the tongue, you can control all other areas of your body. She didn't give the scripture reference, but I am going to look for it this week. That is really encouraging! Dieting is not about dieting! It is all about Christ! Bearing His fruit! Glorifying Him!
Once I lose the weight, I still need to have the self-control and eat responsibly to maintain the healthy weight! Our family eats a lot of whole grains, beans, rice, and vegetables. We generally eat a low-fat diet altogether. We eat vegetarian dinners once or twice a week. Generally, I bake sweets only once or twice a month--which ends up being more than enough, because I somehow end up buying donuts or cinnamon rolls for the kids, or ice cream, at least once a month.
Here are some scriptures that God has used to personally encourage me, especially in my personal struggle with weight loss. These are the ones I meditate on most often with regards to losing weight, staying focused on Christ, and trying to repent from my areas of weakness when it comes to losing weight:
Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD and depart from evil.
It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.
Proverbs 3:7-8
Honour the LORD with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase.
Proverbs 3:9
Hast thou found honey? eat so much as is sufficient for thee, lest thou be filled therewith, and vomit it. Proverbs 25:16
It is not good to eat much honey: so for men to search their own glory is not glory.
He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.
Proverbs 25:27-28
Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.
I Corinthians 10:31
Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
2 Corinthians 12:10
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.
Galatians 5:22-25
Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims,
abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;
I Peter 2:11
Do you get that? If you don't learn to abstain from fleshly lusts, including your lust for excessive food, your soul--your spiritual walk--will struggle! You will war against it! Whew!
And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; and to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness, and to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
2 Peter 1:5-8
Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life,
which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.
James 1:12
He that saith he abideth in him ought himself also so to walk, even as he walked.
I John 2:6
Whosoever abideth in him sinneth not: whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him.
I John 3:6
Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.
John 15:4-5
A messy and difficult post, but that is my story. Some of it may sound crazy--but I'm sure I am not alone when I say the weight loss experience is overall a crazy journey. I am still growing in this area!
And please remember, if you are reading this, I am praying for you! You do not walk alone if you are walking to follow Christ!
Until next time, may the Lord keep you and bless you.
Mrs E. |
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Oct. 3, 2008 - <em>Untitled Comment</em>
A sample weight-loss day for me is something like:
B-2 scrambled eggs w/cheese, peice of sausage
S-peice of natural cheese
L-Tuna salad with a small fresh spinach salad & tomato
D-Salmon or pork chops with steamed broccoli and a ceasar salad.
The first few days are the hardest, and after that, you will not be hungry at all! Please try this- I am sorry if I overstepped or offended you in any way, but I believe that the Lord wanted me to tell you this today!
*****
Response from Mrs. E
I appreciate you sharing your experience and your success. I am curious as to why you believe God designed our bodies to work with little or no grains or carbs? Do you have scripture? Examples? I am interested.
I believe the opposite, actually. I believe grains are an important part of our God-intended diet, especially considering when God first created man, he created them to eat fruits, vegetables, and grains--not meats at all. Also, part of the communion ordinance is bread. Manna was "bread" from heaven. Bread seems to be such an important part of the Bible, many Bible stories, and part of Jesus' diet,. He fed bread to others. He used bread as an illustration when he talked in parables (The leaven of the Pharisees). Satan tempted Him with bread. Part of the OT sacrificial system was cakes made of grain. The list goes on and on and on. Because of all these Biblical indicators, I have never felt it is Biblical to follow the "fad" of the Atkins diet. I actually do not think it could be healthy, or Biblical, or be how God designed our bodies to eat. But that is the conclusion I drew after praying, seeking God's guidance, reading the Bible, and after reading two helpful books: "The Word on Health" by Dr. Michael Jacobson, and "What the Bible Has to Say about Healthy Living," by Rex Russell, M.D.--both of which confirmed where God had already led me.
There are millions of different points of view on dieting. And I just wanted to add mine on this "no carb" issue. I don't do it. I know it works. But just because something works quickly doesn't mean it's best. I don't believe it is best for me.
Edited by mrse on Oct. 3, 2008 at 1:03 PM