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Oct. 23, 2008
Real Men Don't Do Workbooks
I dusted my oldest son's desk this morning. Again.
Since he was was about nine, I began praying fervently for God to help me guide him and train him through his teen years, to help me turn him into a godly man and a manly man, prepared and ready to carry out God's plans for his life.
Before I was following Christ, the thought of the teen years really made me nervous. I saw so many kids "go bad," --kids from good families, kids who seemed to have good relationships with their parents, kids who seemed to have it all. Not to mention my memories of the kind of teen I was myself: sulky, depressed, rebellious, defiant, and pretty much an all-around idiot.
But once my husband and I started following God and obeying His Word, I realized that the teen years definitely didn't have to include trouble of any kind. I realized that God designed families so that the parents could in fact train the children into adulthood as respectful, responsible, happy, joyful, spiritually strong individuals.
But I didn't exactly know how to go about it. I had certainly not experienced it, nor ever seen it. But I knew that following God's Word in parenting, training my children, managing my home--I knew with God it could be done. So I prayed.
One of the first things God led me to do was to "turn my son over" to his father. Yes, he was still under my teaching and training all day long, but whenever possible I placed him under his father's sole authority for decisions. I sent him to his father for all counsel. I encouraged that relationship as much as I possibly could.
That was a hard change for me, letting go. But God revealed it, so I did it.
Then, I started excusing him from school any time any other type of project came up where he could "work." Firewood, mechanical repairs, home repairs, painting, mowing, trimming, helping Dad at work, etc.
By the age of 10, my son could mow our entire yard on a riding mower (2-3 acres). By 12, he had taken over all the yard work, including trimming, clearing, weeding, landscaping, and whatever else was needed. He had become proficient at using and minor fixes for mowers, four-wheelers, and various wagon and trailer attachments. By the age of 12, it was routine for my son to go help with work with Dad whenever Dad had a project--mechanical, construction, or home repair. He could change a flat tire by himself on any vehicle. He had acquired a rifle and was learning to shoot, and talking with other men about learning how to trap. He was saving for his own 4-wheeler. He had helped collect all our family's firewood, and managed it through the winter. stocking the house wood box and the house wood pile from the barn, paying attention to the types of wood, the size of logs, and the dryness of the wood.
By 13 he had acquired a bow for hunting as a gift--a nice 50-lb. With gifts and his own money, he had it outfitted with sights, a "trigger," bought his preferred arrows and tips, a case, and various other accessories. He arranged to go target shooting with an adult friend, and he learned how to shoot well.
Now, he is 14. We started school several weeks ago, but I haven't seen hardly hide nor hair of my son. He certainly hasn't been at his desk much! Where has he been?
He has been:
Working outside on the mowing, trimming, hauling, clearing, etc.
Harvesting apples, corn, tomatoes, elderberries, etc.
Working on his or dad's 4-wheelers.
Fixing our or someone else's cars
Working for someone else doing yard work or landscaping or painting, or other maintenance work (he has built a good reputation in our community for being a hard worker and a good worker).
Cutting down trees, hauling logs, splitting and stacking our firewood for the winter (with Dad, of course)
Helping a friend install kitchen cabinets
Hunting (he got his first deer on his first day with his first arrow and first shot! He liked that!)
Helping a friend install tree stands, move tree stands, set up distance markers, etc.
Butchering deer.
I give up.
I pinned my son down long enough yesterday to get his Algebra lesson done. Then he went hunting. This morning, he got up and went hunting because he had arranged with a family friend to do so (I don't try to discourage him making his own plans with other adult men). He came in from hunting, then left to go split the rest of the firewood for winter.
I thought I saw the light at the end of the tunnel. ALL the firewood for the winter is now split and stacked. My husband and I talked about the new rule that our son may not go hunting until all his schoolwork is done for the day--so afternoon/evening hunting only unless he does double schoolwork.
Then, our friend came in with the news that he had just shot a big buck, so both my husband and son disappear AGAIN to go get the deer and get it tagged. And now, where do you think my son will be? In here doing school work? No. Butchering the deer.
And the garden fence still isn't torn down, and the garden still isn't tilled under...
And--what do you think of the tone of this post? Am I complaining? Am I frustrated? No. I have tears in my eyes as I type this. I am so grateful and thankful to the Lord. I praise Him for His answered prayers. Not just thinking about how my son is becoming a manly man, but also a godly man. I am now believing that he might be the strongest spiritually of all the members of our family, my husband and myself included. God is growing his heart spiritually, and it shows in how he responds to his father and mother, and how he responds to God. It shows in his discernment and how he allows the Holy Spirit to bring things to his mind and to lead him
We will get the book schooling done--this season will pass. He's only 14 and has been zipping along fine. We confirmed this with standardized test and teacher assessments. We've already got a few CLEP tests planned, have contacted a local college about enrollment next fall, and we'll probably be using CollegePlus to help fast-track his education (getting college credit at the same time as his HS transcript credit) so he'll get school DONE (what we feel is a reasonable, responsible, helpful amount) and do what he enjoys most: being a man.
Praise God!
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Posted by Anonymous 
Oct. 30, 2008 - Yes!