I meant to write this closer to Thanksgiving, when God laid it on my heart, but I see now He delayed me for a reason. There was more to the story...
Over the past several months, I have found myself repeating a certain piece of encouragement to multiple friends and family:
"When you meet God, you're going to wish He had been harder on you."
People generally think more of thankfulness during the holiday season. I have definitely improved over the years of living a life of daily gratitude and thankfulness, but at Thanksgiving time, I found myself meditating even more on my thankfulness to God and His goodness.
This year, God pressed upon me to thank Him even more for the trials and the "bad" things, the yucky things.
I am always thankful for our family and our provisions: my husband (oh, so especially my husband) and children, our comfortable home and its comfortable, soft, furnishings, the warm showers, the abundance of good food and clothing, the abundance of all the things we have and enjoy that we don't need, the warm wood-burning stove, the furnace, the space heaters (drafty old farm house!), the central air conditioning, the kitchen appliances and modern conveniences, our cars...
But I got to thinking... those comforts are the things that can make my flesh lazy and hinder my spiritual walk, if I'm not watchful! How much more thankful should I be for God for all the things He sends my way that "keep me on my toes" spiritually? Keep me needing Him? Keep me seeking Him?
Oh, how I would hate to lose all my comforts and blessings. I'm so truly, truly grateful for them. I do thank God for them continually--daily. Especially my soft bed (what a comfortable bed), my temperature controlled home (cool air or warmth at the touch of a button), and a relaxing warm shower every day.
But I realized I haven't been looking at life--regarding thankfulness--from God's perspective. One day I will not be so thankful for all these things that indulged and pampered my flesh, encouraged my laziness, and weakened my spiritual strength.
I will, however, be so thankful for the trials, the troubles, the problems, and all the hardships--any time I had to do "without" so that I had to do with just Him.
One of my favorite verses:
Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims,
abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;
I Peter 2:1
This Thanksgiving, I gave God my deepest thanks for my trials, the perceived "lackings" in my life, my illnesses, and my hardships--for anything that kept me from fleshly lusts. In addition, I told Him--asked Him--to please not withhold ANY trials or hardships in my life that would hinder my relationship with Him, hinder me from pleasing Him and filling His purpose in my life--glorifying Him. I gave Him permission to take away ANYTHING in my life (family, money, provision of any kind), or send ANY hardship (illness or trial) and vowed I would be grateful and thankful. I asked for this out of my devotion to my King and my Saviour and my desperate longing to serve Him and please Him. How can I do so unless He keeps me needing Him? Unless He keeps me depending upon Him? How can I please Him without faith (without faith, it is impossible to please God), and how can I grow my faith unless He puts me in the position where I must live by faith and faith alone?
For it is by faith ye are saved, through grace...
And here is the funny part about how God works... I have learned this lesson many times. It is always the opposite of what we think.
Just as, in God's eyes, it is better to be thankful for the trials and hardships than for the blessings, God also sometimes blesses opposite of what we expect, and gives us opposite of what we ask.
Since Thanksgiving, God has not yanked away any of my comforts or luxuries, or sent any hardships. He has opened the heavens and poured out His blessings on our family.
In addition to the confirmed health of the new baby we are expecting (now in my 2nd trimester and the baby is growing strong and well), His provision has poured upon us like never before. Over the past several years, God has most definitely kept us in a place where we depend on Him for our provisions--an income most families of 6 couldn't come close to imagine living on--but this past year was tighter. Especially with the gas prices. I saw God do amazing things with our grocery budget and other provisions. I don't have the time or words to explain the miracles. But let's just say it's very similar to the widow's oil and flour--sometimes no matter how much food I cooked, even though I cooked exactly what I had bought and planned on our menu, we never seemed to have less in the house. It just stretched and stretched! Sometimes no matter what I put in the grocery cart, as long as I stuck to just what I needed and carefully planned for, being a good steward for the Lord, the grocery bill never got too high. It miraculously rung up low and and affordable--no way to explain it!
But I will try to tell you a little more of God's blessings:
As we were heading into this Christmas, we had absolutely zero money for Christmas. Nothing.
Well, that's all relative isn't it? This is America, after all. When I mean nothing, I mean not what I WANTED to do for Christmas on a modest level. I could have had the children make pencil cups out of juice cans and shopped at the dollar store--but that's not Christmas for most of us, is it? I just wanted to give them some of the basics they desperately needed--two of my boys didn't even have winter coats yet this year!
But what really hurt me is that every year for the past four years, our family has invested much time and effort into making a special calendar for our relatives. These calendars are carefully planned and designed, and we all come together to create them. We make hand-made scrap-book style pages with scriptures, pictures, photos, artwork, etc. They are tradition for us, and our family really seems to like getting them. They all get excited when they hear we are working on them, and start asking about them around November. They say, "Have you started your calendars yet for this year? I can't wait to get it!"
When I realized we would not have the money for the supplies to make the calendars as gifts for our family (we make about 15 each year), my heart literally ached like it was splitting in two. For two nights, I lay in bed and could not stop the tears. I was very hurt and upset about this.
But I gave it to the Lord and thanked Him earnestly for the hardship.
Two days later, I was unexpectedly given a catering opportunity--literally dropped right out of heaven--that paid me more than enough money to fund our calendar project plus provide a little money to buy some of the gifts we wanted to get for the children. I felt so cared for by God. I know that He knew my disappointment and hurt, and He took pleasure in providing for me.
And when it came to Christmas, I was perfectly willing to accept that God would give us less this year. I had asked for it, right? I talked with the children about this, and told them that if they were willing, we would structure our menu around beans and potatoes and other such basics to help us stretch our budget to help us have a small Christmas, maybe with some gifts of things they needed most. I taught them the above principles of thankfulness. They were cheerful and on board. We were happy, thankful, and content.
But God did not stop there. The blessings have continued to come.
Our freezers are packed full-every square inch-of venison from hunting season. We still have about 15 pounds of fresh salmon from the fishing trip my husband and son took with my Dad to Lake Michigan earlier this year. My Dad continues to hunt quail and pheasant and gives many of them to us. The abundance of meat for our menu has increased. A friend gave me some old "Taste of Home" magazines, which had plenty of wonderful recipes for salmon, quail and venison, and over the past few months, I have found some incredible ways to cook these things. We eat so well! Better than ever.
In addition, another lady from our church somehow gets lots of food given to her--cast-off from restaurants, grocery stores, and food banks. She doesn't cook, and for some reason, over the past two months, she has been calling and offering most of it to me. We have been inundated with fresh produce, spices and seasonings, and dairy products. Many of these things were things we could not regularly afford: Fresh spinach and greens, fresh mushrooms, green onions, cucumbers, leeks, apples, oranges, pineapple, carrots, celery, cilantro, fresh parsley, potatoes, and more. Last week, we got a beautiful head of chinese cabbage, along with carrots and sliced mushrooms. I made the most amazing stir-fry with those items, venison strips, and a sesame garlic seasoning. What a blessing!
My aunt, for no reason--just out of the blue--sent us a brand new Vitamix. I think that is why we have been getting the above provisions. At first I had mixed feelings about the gift--we have never been able to afford much in the way of fresh fruit or produce of any kind. But now we have so much being given to us! We have been putting just about everything in there to make fruit and veggie smoothies. So healthy for the family--especially the toddler and the baby!
A good friend loaded me down with 11 boxes of cereal and 4 jars of peanut butter--a HUGE help and stretcher for us, especially because we have had an unusual amount of house guests!
My husband was offered a small project; the extra few hundred dollars was definitely going to help with Christmas.
Then, we opened a Christmas card from some friends, and out fell $300 in cash. They said that God had laid us on their hearts.
God has provided enough that the children aren't just getting what they need for Christmas (socks, pants, coats, boots, etc.) but each is even getting a nice present of something they will enjoy. What a blessed way to celebrate Christ's birth--the gift of His life given for us. And, we have been able to give to others so much, too, as God has led.
At this point, I was amazed. God was just pouring provision out of heaven for us for Christmas. And our Christmas list was not for frivolous things--I really wanted to provide some of the clothing, coats, and shoes our children still needed for winter but we had not yet been able to get (can you believe, we were even out of socks pretty much?)
More provision: My baby son needed new jeans. He had outgrown the 12 months and needed 18 months. My cousin had given me a bunch of her sons' old baby clothes, including lots of wonderful jeans and cords and khakis--but they started at size 24 months. With the money God provided, I planned to buy the baby two or three pairs for Christmas.
Last week, we met my aunt for lunch. We took her and her family some homemade baked goods for Christmas, and some small gifts for her and her family-including my cousin who had given me the above-mentioned baby clothes. When we went to her car after lunch, she unloaded two garbage bags full of clothes into my truck, sent by my cousin. More baby clothes. When we got home, I opened the first bag. I pulled out three pairs of brand new jeans, size 18 months (2 Gap, one Levis). Two pairs of new cords (Gap), and two pairs of Khakis (Gap). All size 18 months. My aunt had also bought the baby a new outfit for Christmas--denim overalls, size 18 months. Amazing. Also included in the things for the baby from my aunt and cousin: Two brand new blanket sleepers (needed) size 18 months, of course, and two amazing winter coats, one lighter and one heavier (both from Nordstroms and hardly worn). Talk about God's provision! I had been squeezing the baby into a size 6-9 months fleece hoodie! The baby's complete Christmas list crossed off in one big checkmark!
My toddler son needed jeans desperately. I planned to buy one or two pairs for Christmas if we could. But four weeks ago, a friend from church gave me a garbage bag full of clothes with three pairs of like-new jeans as well as church pants. He also got tennis shoes and hiking boots. My aunt gave him new pajamas.
Then, a couple of weeks ago, my daughter and I stopped at a local thrift store as we were looking for a few pieces to finish off the costumes for her local children's theater play (Scrooge). I looked for some of the things our family needed, too. Coats, winter clothes, maternity clothes. I started finding things and pulling them off the rack. A brand new (with tags) shirt for my oldest son, just like a favorite he had outgrown, beautiful sweaters and jackets for my daughter, maternity clothes for me--piece after piece, brand name, brand new, on sale. Many of the things cost less than one dollar. When we got home and went through the things we had bought, I was amazed. We had brand new or barely worn sweaters and jackets from Land's End, Eddie Bauer, Columbia, Old Navy, J. Crew, Banana Republic, and more. Out of curiosity, I looked up the catalog prices on some of the things, and some of them were $60 and $70 dollars a piece new. I paid less than $1 or $2 for each. Amazing.
I got dressed the next day and told my husband I felt like I was rich and had just gone shopping at my favorite designer stores and was wearing a brand new outfit. (Then I remembered from ages past lessons I had learned about the fleeting satisfactions of such things).
I asked God, "Why?" It was so wonderful! Such provision! But I had asked for less!
The blessings and provisions have not stopped there. The things I mentioned above are just the beginning of a long list. Here is a list of other things I needed, was out of, or even just wistfully thought about in passing (wouldn't it be nice to have...) that I'm sure God just laughed as He blessed me and dropped them from Heaven:
Pickles (6 jars, gherkins, break & butter, dill slices--I never buy these)
Canned pineapple (10 delicious cans!)
A crate of valencia oranges and red delicious apples
Saran wrap
Aluminum Foil
Ziploc bags (I can never afford--now I have over a dozen boxes in both sizes, with the zipper close!)
3-way light bulbs (I have one, and seriously had just thought, "I wish they weren't so expensive! Now I have 8!)
Dishwashing soap
Shower cleaner (not Comet, but the good spray-on stuff that is hard for me to afford)
Paper towels
New bath towels (12)--so big and fluffy I'm still reaching for the old tattered ones!
Chicken and beef broth (an important staple)
Tupperware--I was almost completely out and was frustrated as I was trying to scrounge up a container to share some homemade venison chili with a friend. Now I have more containers in more sizes and in more types than I ever had or would have dreamed of having.
A butter dish--Bluebird Pottery (a special collectible type handmade in this region and very pretty)
Minced onions (haven't bought them for years, but often wish I had them. Now I have 3 jars)
New bed sheets for our king size bed
A new bathroom scale (handy when you're pregnant)
Diapers (via a $25 dollar gift card to Wal-mart from an anonymous donor)
A basket for my daughter's crocheting projects--woven wood, cloth lined, with leather handles
Batteries
Tape refill rolls for my dispenser (been out for a year)
Hiking boots for my oldest son and daughter (Red Wing, brand new)
Winter coats for all the children
And on and on and on... each of the things above, it's like they only had to cross my mind, not even in a wishful way, because I'm not nearly as covetous as I used to be and much more content. I think of things, but don't often wish for them, the thought is often a thought of contentment with what we already have. But it's like things crossed my mind, and God was happy to give them to me. So specific to my needs! I am amazed and delighted! And I'm sure I've forgotten to mention things--there have just been so many. I've never been so blessed before.
**Added 1-1-09*** I still spoke too soon. Alright! Who's praying for God to bless us? Since posting this post, we have been given a nearly new kitchen table, walnut, Amish style, seats 10 easily--GORGEOUS! (the table we had was falling apart and we were getting afraid to have guests sit in the chairs for fear they would crash to the ground and it was a pinch to seat 6, and we had to keep a table cloth on it at all times because the top finish was ruined), a 32-inch tv (before we only had a 20" one my husband won in a raffle over 10 years ago, and we had just noticed that it was hard to see the picture and read the text on it while watching wide-screen format DVDs from the Creation Museum), a new school desk and chair for my son with all types of great drawers for organizing his books and papers--a nice one from Office Max or Staples (his other one needs to go to the burn pile and we had been watching thrift stores for a nice one), a new computer desk/armoire for my son's room--another thing we had been watching for (one he had in there went to the burn pile, it was scrap, too), a red chenille sofa with matching plaid easy chair (our sofa history is sad, indeed, the one before last needing burned, and the current one bought used 12 years old for $50--and this one is so classy and very nice!), and a host of other miscellaneous pieces, including extra dining chairs (walnut and oak), and a three-drawer stand (walnut).
I also forgot to mention the stainless steel professional quality Jenn-Air range, with griddle and grill, and convection. The old gas range I had, I had forgotten what it was like to have something cook or bake evenly! I had often thought that the stove I had was akin to cooking on a wood-fired stove! This new one (well, new to us--it is a few years old and given to us by friends doing a remodel) is fantastic and cooks and bakes like a dream! And so beautiful. For Christmas, my husband was able to buy me a a new matching stainless steel microwave and a new matching stainless steel toaster oven. With the beautiful new kitchen table, I'm just left a little overwhelmed!
Very overwhelmed, actually!****
I asked for less if that was God's will, yet God gave me more (so much more!) during this season. I don't yet know why, other than that God is good and He loves to give us good things.
But it will not change my original request to God. At all costs--whatever He must take from me--Lord, please draw me closer to You and may You be glorified in my life.
But most of all I am thankful for Him, and the hope that He gives me for redemption and eternal life. My faith is wholly placed in Him and His death on the cross that gives me the gift of eternal life. What joy!
Be thankful! |
Posted by Debbie 
Dec. 29, 2008 - Wow!