Homeschoolers in our state, at the end of every "school year," are required to turn in a certified academic assessment of our children. We have two choices. We can have our children take an approved standardized test for the appropriate age/grade level (such as the Iowa Test of Basic Skills) and turn in the results (they must have a 25th percentile composite or higher), or we can have a certified, currently-licensed teacher review samples of the child's work for the year and write and sign an affidavit stating that they feel the child is learning well enough at home in "accordance with their abilities."
As far as these academic assessments go, I don't fret about them too much. I know my responsibility to teach my children to read, write, calculate, and have a working knowledge of history, government, etc. I know I am teaching it, and I know where my children stand in these areas. I am fulfilling my responsibility to make sure my children get an efficient academic education that will prepare them fully for college--if that is God's plan for them--or any other type of career or work that may be God's plan. We keep up with the academic work, at the pace that is right for each child. And that usually means they "stay ahead of the pack" when it comes to national standards and public school standards. Last year they completed their standardized tests and scored very well. This year, I'm sure they will do the same.
But for me, these academic assessments are not crucial. It's not how I measure my children's success. Think about it: Why would a Christian homeschooling family structure their homeschooling around spiritual goals, raising children that are Christ-centered, and then only worry about academic assessments to see how they're doing? Makes no sense! From day one of homeschooling, God made it very clear to me that my main goals for my children were spiritual, and that if I kept those spiritual goals in focus--as the priority--the academics would naturally work out. That has proven true. Because of this, I think it is far more crucial to do a SPIRITUAL assessment of our children on a regular basis.
This year, as we are slowing down on the academic schoolwork for a season, as we do each summer, I have replaced the bulk of the academic assignments with spiritual assessment exercises. For my older two children (10 and almost 15), I had them watch a video sermon by Dr. S.M. Davis titled, "What to Expect from a 12-Year-Old." They watch it every year, sometimes more than once. It is an excellent video to help children understand some of their spiritual goals. We started homeschooling six years ago when my oldest was nine, and in answer to my prayers for God to lead our homeschool, this sermon was the first thing we heard. Since that time, my main educational goals have included the points from this sermon. So, what should you expect from a 12-year-old, if your primary goals for your children are spiritual ones?
A 12-year-old should (if you have trained them in the ways of the Lord):
1. Have a mature sense of responsibility, purpose, and destiny.
2. Have a keen sense of discernment, especially in relation to the company they keep.
3. Have a burning hunger to understand truth and wisdom.
4. Be fully obedient.
5. Be consistently respectful.
6. Be fully committed to doing the will of God.
7. Have an unmistakeable godliness about his life.
This year, my children watched the video again, and made an outline of the above points and scripture verses. Then, I gave each of them a chart with the above seven expectations. I asked them to rate themselves and put those qualities in order from what they felt was their strongest area to their weakest. Then, I had them rate each other. Then I rated them, then Daddy did the same. I let them look at their ratings and ponder them for a while, and we discussed the significance of how their self-ratings were vastly different from how others perceived them.
I then spent some time with each of them, praising their strengths and discussing their weaknesses. I have been giving examples, sharing scriptures, and helping them come up with suggestions on how they could exercise their weak areas to make them stronger. They then each wrote a paper about their self-assessments, confirming their understanding and discernment. They listed examples of their wrong actions, scripture verses confirming the way to be godly, and then wrote their personal plan for trying to grow in those areas.
And since then, I have been able to correct them more effectively to grow them in these areas that they are made keenly aware of.
For example, my husband and I both agreed (and we didn't collaborate on our assessments) that my son's biggest weakness was his sense of responsibility regarding his younger siblings and family. My son rated himself high in responsibility, because he does do his chores, keep his things organized, get his schoolwork done, and does everything that he is asked, and many things that he is not asked to do--he is very "by the book." However, we explained to him that he does not take on responsibility for his younger siblings willingly and without being told. He does care for them when asked, but not wholeheartedly. If he were truly responsible, he could be trusted to be responsible for others, especially those younger than himself. We have been explaining this to him, and because of our "assessment," have been able to point out areas where he should have jumped in to take responsibility without being asked. For example, if his younger brother needs help getting his shoes on, he shouldn't have to be asked to help. If I have the children with me on an outing, and I am holding the baby, then he should automatically step in to help with the 4- year-old. If I am driving, he should assume responsibility for caring for the young ones in the car. He should develop a sense of responsibility for the care, shepherding, and well-being of his younger siblings. For example, today while I was driving all four children to an appointment, the baby, who is teething and has a runny nose, sneezed. I had to prompt my older children to check his nose to see if it needed wiped. I was able to explain to them that if they were truly responsible, they would have automatically realized that I was unable to care for the baby because I was driving, and jumped to care for him as soon as they heard his sneeze. They need to learn to be in tune to the needs of their younger siblings and aware of times that they need to take the responsibility. If something like that happens again, I plan to silently pull over, and without a word, care for the baby myself. That should make the point!
My daughter's greatest weakness, and my husband and I again both rated her the same, was her sense of discernment, especially regarding friends and activities. We have let her join a local children's chorus where she is around children of all ages and from all types of families, even teenage girls and boys from the high school. We use this situation to help her learn discernment and how to make wise choices. She is so friendly and exuberant, and she is so well-liked by all the girls in the choir, my daughter has to be discerning about their offers to view cell-phone pictures, text messages, and videos, or to play with their DS games, or to get drawn into their silliness regarding boys, or rebellious and defiant girl-talk. She is quite good at just separating herself from foolish behavior, but with the older girls in the midst of a 2-hour practice, it can be hard for her. After this year's assessment, we were able to give her specific examples that will help her keep improving in this area while still being able to be a good and loving friend to those around her. And while we are teaching her discernment and wisdom in this area, we continue to train her that it is ultimately wiser to stay in the company of older, wiser, and more godly friends--even if it means adults are the only option. My daughter needs to understand that faithfulness to God and His best for her life is the only choice. And it needs to be her choice--and it will be, if we have trained her right in the ways and goodness of the Lord.
Another thing that God led me to do this year for assessment is the "chore" test. My children have had daily chore checklists for about four years now. They have gotten very good about completing their checklists according to our structured schedule. But my job is to train them to do chores and get things done without my management, my checklists, my schedule, or my promptings. I took away the chore checklists. I took away the chore lists. I wanted to see if my older children did any chores voluntarily, or took up responsibility for helping around the house without my direction.
What happened, do you think? I'm sure you can guess. Everything came to a screeching halt. I explained that it was a test of their responsibility, maturity, and initiative. I explained how it was my job to train them to make the decision to work for themselves. I explained that God gave them a family as their "on-the-job training." We need to use this time to teach them to work and take on full responsibility, and the family setting is where it all happens. I explained to them that they would still be just like babies if the only work they could do is work they were told to do, or work from a checklist! There's no mature responsibility in that system.
It has been about a month now, and they are improving and starting to get the point. After failing miserably still for the first few weeks, I asked my husband for help because I was getting frustrated. My husband came up with the idea for them to keep a daily log sheet of their decisions on how they spend their time to help them become more aware. He printed them a daily chart where they fill in their activities each hour and share it with him in the evenings. It has certainly helped. For the most part, however, at this point they have to be asked still to help around the house. But today, I've noticed that the house is looking better and things are getting more done than they were three weeks ago. I'm hoping this little exercise will pay off! My goal is to have children who all pitch in around the house all the time as a priority, without ever being asked or managed. I want them to automatically and always be looking for what needs to be done, and then jump in and do it. My goal is for them to learn to take on as much responsibility for the family as they can learn, so that when they have a family of their own one day, they will be ready. When they have a job of their own one day, they will be ready! That won't happen unless I train them to function without my constant management and reminders!
As for other assessments I have planned, we will be studying more in-depth the areas of friendships, responsibility, submission to authority, and having a heart for God.
I already gave my children an initial "test" regarding friendships. I had them write a quick paragraph explaining to me how to view friends from a Biblical perspective. Here is what my daughter (age 10) wrote in the space of about 15 minutes:
We need to choose our friends carefully. Why? Because evil is contagious, and holiness is not. When choosing a friend, never look on the outside. For example, when God told Samuel to look for a new king, he went to Jesse's house. Jesse brought out his sons, who were all big, strong, and muscular. Samuel was sure one of them should be king, but God said, No." When Samuel asked if there were any more sons, David was called. He was young, and not like the others at all. God was looking at the heart. Not the outside. Wrong friendships will harm you. We become what our friends are. Proverbs 22:24 says, "Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man tho shalt not go." We do not need friends. Why do you have a family? God gave you a family to be your friends. If you would rather be with a group of kids than your family, you are off track spiritually. I'm not saying you shouldn't have friends, but if you do, choose them wisely, and be cautious and discerning at all times.
I am now able to take her paper, and discuss it with her from her point of view and help her expand her thoughts and convictions. When my children are grown (by their mid to late teens), I want them to be able to have complete freedom in Christ when it comes to where they go in the world and with whom they come in contact, whom they spend time with, and whom they are called to minister to. They will only be able to do that if I use the opportunity now to teach them about the godly way to handle friendships and relationships.
I'm so thankful to God for His continual guidance. He is the one who leads our family and our homeschool. I'm so grateful He is showing me how to assess my children's hearts, and how to equip them to one day serve Him fully. When I was telling my mom about these "assessments" on the phone last week, she said, "When I was raising you kids, I never knew anything like that. I never even thought about it." I said, "Mom, two weeks ago, I didn't know it either. God is leading me every day." Last week, I was also explaining to a friend one of my current child training concerns. I am praying fervently on how to prepare my 10-year-old daughter for womanhood--like how do I teach her about her changing body, and train her for the long term in a godly and Biblical way about marriage and sex so that she is fully prepared for marriage to enjoy all the blessings it brings, including sex and having babies. My friend said, "Does your brain never stop?" I said, "God's the one who never stops! He is the one leading me!" I know He will lead me in this area with my daughter just as He has done in all other areas.
Well, that's just a quick note on how assessments are getting done in our home these days.
Thanks for your patience with my lack of writings. For those of you who have asked, Baby E #5 (another boy!) will be here in June. We're busy getting the garden planned and ready to plant, getting the house ready for the baby, and getting the oldest son's work and school planned for the summer. He plans to start with CollegePlus within the next year, but has a few things to finish up first, so I am "coaching" him to set his own goals regarding those things and make his own schedule for work this summer (he has a list of regular customers for yard work). God has continued to grow me in my marriage and mothering skills, and He answers me faithfully with every question at every twist and turn. If only I had the words to sing His praises. He amazes me continually at the ways He answers my prayers. He is so good to me!
O sing unto the LORD a new song;
for he hath done marvellous things:
his right hand, and his holy arm, hath gotten him the victory
The LORD hath made known his salvation:
his righteousness hath he openly shewed in the sight of the brethren
He hath remembered his mercy and his truth toward the house of Israel:
all the ends of the earth have seen the salvation of our God
Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all the earth:
make a loud noise, and rejoice and sing praise.
Sing unto the LORD with the harp; with the harp, and the voice of a psalm
With trumpets and sound of cornet make a joyful noise before the LORD, the King.
Let the sea roar, and the fulness thereof;
the world, and they that dwell therein.
Let the floods clap their hands:
let the hills be joyful together
before the LORD; for he cometh to judge the earth:
with righteousness shall he judge the world,
and the people with equity.
Psalm 98
Bless you, dear readers, and as always, you remain in my prayers that you will continue to seek Him first, and His best for your life.
-Mrs. E |
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May. 10, 2009 - Untitled Comment