My oldest son is 15. This year, I turned him loose from my constant management and his regular household duties and have been exhorting him to work on his own--set his own schedule, plan and complete his own schoolwork, and make his own decisions on how he sets his priorities and spends his time. I have been trying to give suggestions, support, encouragement, and guidance. I have high hopes (because of how I have trained and taught him) that he will be able to walk in the spirit, seek the Lord fervently each day, be a good judge of how to spend his time, be serving to his family (like he will need to be as a husband and father one day), be responsible, a hard worker, be a leader and mentor to his younger siblings, and make wise decisions. With just a smidgeon of high school work to finish (about 3-4 credits), we needed to gauge whether or not he was ready to work independently with CollegePlus starting in January.
And I say, "Whew!"
He is doing so well! I have been so pleased with this young man.
He set a schedule on a calendar for finishing his HS work. He started setting his alarm to get up at 6:00 a.m. to knock of some school work. He still works with Dad so much, and he still offers to spend time with the little ones to give me a hand. He still pitches in on chores he sees that need done (one day I came home from taking the younger ones to doctor appointments and he had cleaned the whole house--such a blessing!).
I was talking with a lady not too long ago who began off-handedly lamenting about her teenager. She said, "What do you do when you tell them they can't go somewhere unless they clean their room--but then they don't clean their room?" I gave her a sympathetic nod, and didn't say anything. But I was thinking, "Wow! My teenager--not only would he never have a messy room, but he wouldn't even consider not cleaning it (or anything else, for that matter), if he was told." I am blessed and thankful. I know God created my son with a free will. I know he could choose at anytime to disobey. I am thankful that it is firmly embedded in his heart the importance of honoring and obeying his parents. He knows that it is the commandment "with promise" for him. The Lord has done a work in his heart -- PTL!!
I am still praying fervently for how to guide him. Most recently I have been teaching and exhorting him that God tells him to be wise as to good and simple towards evil--reminding him he doesn't even need to know the details of all the sinful things people do. He is to flee from evil, look away (which I have taught him since he was little). He is to keep his thoughts on things that are true, honest, just, pure, and lovely. He understands. He believes it with all his heart. His love for God and God's best blesses me--it just blesses me.
I was also blessed when I heard that he gave my daughter the following advice. He said, "If you prove by the time you're 12 that you're mature and responsible, people will just expect and accept that that is the type of person you are and won't freak out as much when you're not like all the other teenagers." I liked the advice, and I liked that he was thinking of her enough to mentor her and help her. I liked that he had learned from his own experience and was able to draw this conclusion and give this advice--because he came up with it on his own.
I don't want to mislead anyone, he still has plenty of areas where he needs growth. He is good about jumping in to care for his little siblings, but he sometimes still doesn't catch the need to do so. For example, we were sitting in church just this week. I was at one end of our row, and he was at the other end. Next to him was the 4-year-old, who decided to start jumping and hopping and pulling all other sorts of antics that he has NEVER been permitted to do in church. My 15-year-old was oblivious. Didn't even look at the little one next to him until I sent a tap on the shoulder down the pew row.
Yet I will never stop teaching, counseling, encouraging, and exhorting. I know he will continue to grow. The growth I have seen just these past few months has been tremendous. My prayers for him continue. I know God will guide me every step of the way as I seek to fulfill this purpose--raising this young man for the Lord.
