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Oct. 10, 2009
How it's going: Growing a Godly Young Woman
My only daughter--she is 10.
You may have read previously how I've been praying for guidance as I help grow her into a godly young woman.
I have had a hard time connecting with her. I'm not sure why. But I have been praying for God to bring us closer and strengthen our relationship so that I can truly guide her and train her and mentor her as she grows. I was so distant from my mother when I was a young girl and teenager. We had a huge breach in communication and understanding. I am praying for insight into my daughter, and for understanding of who God has made her, understanding of her point of view, and wisdom with how to guide it all.
God is answering these prayers so beautifully.
Not long ago, my daughter had a meltdown after being corrected (just verbally corrected with a calm reminder!) and just collapsed on her bed in a heap of sobs and tears (my daughter is Elsie Dinsmore in real life!). I just went and held her, and hugged her, and smoothed her hair, and told her how much I loved her. I assured her of God's love for her and the plans He had for her. I asked her if there was anything I could do to help her as she was growing, to strengthen her and help her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Do devotions with me."
I realized then how much I had been missing the boat. See, with how busy our house has been, I have been thankful that my daughter does her own devotions and Bible study. I had been counting our discussions and my exhortations throughout the day as enough for her spiritual training. But I see now she needs me to sit down with her each day and help her seek the Lord, because that is first and foremost in her heart.
We began doing that the next morning, with a hot cup of tea at 7:00 a.m. at her "Pub Table." She has been strengthened and helped. I either share with her how God is currently leading me, or what God is showing me in Scriptures when I read and pray, or I choose something to search out together in Scriptures based on weaknesses I see in our household, or I choose a lesson or a reading from Polished Cornerstones, Bright Lights, or Beautiful Girlhood.
It is working. She recently left me a card that said (after I had left her a card praising her virtues and letting her know how thankful I was for her),
Dear Mom,
I thank you so much for the card, I really like it. I also want to tell you how much I love you and how you are the best mom in the world. Thanks for starting the Bible study. I really enjoy it.
Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: When he is old he shall not depart from it.
You're doing a good job of it, Mom!
I love you.
Love,
(Your Daughter)
The other way I noticed God is answering my prayers is that He seems to be helping me to distinguish between her child moments and her woman moments. Sometimes, she is very womanly, working with me side by side to manage this home, to care for her younger brothers, to serve her father and older brother, to help with a project, to consult with me as an equal on the menu, grocery list, and budget for other household needs, etc. She is a great friend and support to me, and I am a mentor to her as a young woman. But at 10, she is still just a child, and sometimes she simply needs me as a child needs her mom. I am learning to recognize those moments of childlike joy and simplicity and let her know I appreciate her for who she is, right where she is in life at this moment. I am joyful with her when she is having a particularly fun time playing, or singing with her choir, or some other youthful activity. I share her enthusiasm when she is enjoying something that maybe I wouldn't enjoy (like learning to do flips on the trampoline), and I share her hurts and frustrations that she meets with as a child (brothers, tiredness, confusion).
I praise God for all He has shown me and how He is my ever present help. Always with me and always guiding. I know He will continue to lead. |
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