So begins the holiest week of the year.  I’m looking forward to a week without our “regularly scheduled program” to read, contemplate, and learn more about our Lord’s Passion.  Tomorrow we begin with the adventure of driving to St. Paul’s Cathedral for the televised Mass since Fr. S will be the celebrant as he is every 3^rd Monday.

Have you ever thought your priest had a special ability to know whatever bad thing is happening in you week so he can address it in his Sunday homily?  O.K., so I don’t really believe that; I know it's the power of the Holy Spirit, and Fr. S seems to hit the nail on the head every time.

This week I was ready to give up homeschooling.  I was out of patience.  I could not tolerate yet another morning when I go up to start school only to find a huge mess the kids have created before breakfast (and they eat at 7 am.)  I could no longer tolerate another rushed-through, scribbled worksheet.  I could no longer tolerate telling them to read aloud, or slow down reading, or actually realize what the words say when reading.  I could no longer tolerate telling them to stop running off to play whey finished with one thing and waiting for the next.  Being ignored when I ask them to pick up.  Having to sit through every single math problem because a child seems to lose his ability to do them when I am not sitting and staring at him.  Add on the fact that ds#1 quickly scribbles coloring pages at CCD so he can rush off to free time, or refuses to take notes in a co-op class while ds#2 thinks he is allowed to talk during CCD, and not share and have a generally poor attitude in co-op classes.  I really felt I had failed to teach them how to learn and how to behave.  I walked away and I screamed, convinced I did not have the temperament to homeschool.

Sometimes prayers are screamed, Fr. S pointed out today; Jesus screamed His prayer just before He died.  In pain and exhaustion, yet without despair; purposefully.

Another mom in our co-op got me thinking with Romans 5:10 For if while we were enemies, we were reconciled to God through the death of his Son, much more surely, having been reconciled, will we be saved by His life. I realized that my greatest sin was not so much my lack of patience (though that has a lot to do with it) but rather my failure to trust in Him.  I did not trust that He is in charge, and that He will give me what I need to raise and school my children.  To think that I have failed is to think that God is not capable.

My 2008 Lenten journey revealed to me, as Fr. S said today, suffering is necessary to brings us closer to God.  If the Father could have done anything else other than the Passion of His Son, He would have done it.  In His suffering we are saved; in my comparatively minor suffering, I have grown closer to Him.

Later in the day I read the shocking statistic that 1 in 4 girls ages 13 to 19 have an STD.  In my struggles I often get little bits of information like that, God telling me that even with our problems, my children are better off at home.  God will give me the strength to do His will.  So I got to work on things that needed to be changed around here.

First, I created what I call the Rules of Respect:

1. Come immediately when called.
2. Stop whatever you are doing when you are spoken to.
3. Do not interrupt.
4. Ask permission for everything.
5. Be peacemakers with each other.
6. No talking back or begging.
7. Do not whine or cry if you do not like what you are told.
8. No disrespectful attitudes—everything is done cheerfully, immediately, and thoroughly.
9. You will be spoken to or asked to do something only ONCE!

Next, I explained some of the changes during formal school time.  Work will be done cheerfully, thoroughly, and immediately as well.  They no longer can get up from their desks until it is time for the next assignment, so they better take the time to do their work instead of rushing through it to get a little play time in.  They will only be asked ONCE to redo a messy assignment, so if it is not done well the second time they will be punished.  Ds#1 will do one written dictation per day and cursive sheets daily.

Finally, I ordered the Catholic version of the Program for Achieving Character Education (PACE.)  During all of this, I saw the link to Emmanuel Books on my desk top and I could not remember why it was there.  I decided to open it before deleting it, and it took me to the PACE program.  I pray that will make an engaging and effective addition to our schooling (including writing assignments, LOL!)

Faith is taught, not caught.