You know how our children fight sleep because they are so afraid that if they give in and snooze, they will miss something while they are sleeping? I am doing that very thing right now! I have no idea what is going on with me but I am barely able to keep my eyes open and I have dozed off and jerked back to life more than a few times in the last few hours. It is 3:20 in the morning right now. Did you get that? 3:20am! I am the only one up. Everyone else is sleeping peacefully...as I should be. BUT I CAN'T BRING MYSELF TO DO IT! I have even gone so far as to make coffee. At first I only made 1/2 a pot. but then when that was all gone, I thought, "I really don't want to go to bed. I REALLY DON'T!" So I made a whole pot of coffee this time and I took 3 super guarana (a natural source of caffeine). I'm still nodding off. I think I know what the problem is. I am alone and it is SO quiet. I don't want to fall asleep and miss out on the silence. I mean... the kids are ASLEEP!! So much has been going on around here lately. I haven't been able to blog much... but I'm hoping to catch up. It has been hectic here but at the same time it has been awesome. The Holy Spirit has been hanging out a my house....

Let me fill you in.

Tommy and I know this young couple (He's 24 and she's 22) with two daughters (Cheyenne is 7 and Mackenzie is 1). They suddenly needed a place to live and The Lord told us quite plainly that He wanted us to invite them to live with us for as long as it takes for them to get solidly on their feet again...even if it takes several years. So we did something that unfortunately, is very uncharacteristic of us. We obeyed Him right away. We did not complain or question Him. We just did what He said. And that was that. They moved in. You would think that squeezing this many people (10) into a house of this size (small 3 bedroom/ 1 bathroom) would be a recipe for disaster. You would think that we would be tripping all over each other (physically and emotionally) every time one of us moved. You would think that. But...you'd be wrong. Amazingly, this has been a wonderful experience so far. Jess and I ...as well as Tommy and Daniel, are growing closer everyday. We are all so much alike. The kids get along and haven't fought (except with their own siblings). We have been having SO much fun. We are comfortable with each other. Their kids like us and our kids like them. Tommy and I have no doubt that God is planning to do something huge with Jessie and Daniel. Just a few days after they moved in...we had the awesome privilege of explaining to them The Father's unconditional love for them. We told them about the sacrifice that Christ made for them and why. We explained why only He was worthy to pay our debt. And we explained God's amazing grace to them. The Holy Spirit confirmed it in their hearts. He drew them to Himself and they accepted Christ as their Savior that night. The joy that filled this house... it was indescribable. And that same joy is still lingering today! We just know that this is the beginning of an AWESOME plan for them and we are SO thankful to be a part of it! Our Father is SOOO AMAZING!!!

So, that's what's been going on around here that has kept me from blogging. I'll try to check in more often.

Until next time...

Trusting in HIM,

Shirley

"Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer."(Psalms 19:14)

It is after 2 in the morning and I am still awake. My whole family is sleeping peacefully... even Samantha! I laid in bed for a while and tried to sleep but I couldn't. So, I got up and had a bowl of ice cream. What else is there to do in the middle of the night? There are so many things on my mind that I just can't seem to shut it off tonight. Nothing bad. I'm not worrying about anything... just thinking about a lot of things.

This has been happening more frequently lately. During my late night/early morning bouts of insomnia, I have discovered that Isaac talks in his sleep. It really is quite funny. I can't always understand him but most of the time he is yelling at someone. He will yell, "Tommy!" or "Mom" in a really irritated tone. Sometimes the yelling is followed by loud mumbling. It is so funny.

Jacob does it too. The other day Jacob was asleep on the love seat and suddenly he stood up and started climbing the up back. The whole time, he was fussing about something. It was obvious that he was mad but we couldn't understand what he was saying. When he had climbed the back of the seat, he grabbed the curtain behind it and started pulling on it. He was fussing the whole time! He was trying to wrap up in the curtain. We think he may have been upset that his blanket wasn't covering him to his satisfaction and he  was trying to right it. But for some reason, he climbed up and grabbed the curtain instead. It was hilarious! His daddy took the curtain from his hand, laid him back down and covered him up without Jacob ever waking up.

Little Tommy sometimes walks in his sleep. He usually does it when he needs to go potty. He gets up and kind of shuffles to my room screaming the whole way. When he gets there, he stands beside the bed crying and sort of hops around as if he is in pain. After he peed in my floor a few times, I realized what the problem was. So now when he gets up screaming like that, I quickly redirect him to the bathroom. He goes to potty and then goes back to bed...but he is sleeping through it all. My husband laughs in his sleep quite often. He sometimes talks in his sleep, but mostly he just laughs. I also talk in my sleep. I have woke myself up doing it before. I've also snored so loud I woke up. What a bunch of active sleepers we are!

Gosh, I just realized that it is really never quiet at my house...even when we are asleep!

I think I'm ready to stop writing about sleeping and actually go do it! I'm going to bed! Bye for now!

In Christ,

Shirley

"Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer."(Psalms 19:14)

Guess who is eating from a spoon!!!

Well yes, I am...but I have been for years! Guess who else is eating from a spoon! Samantha is eating rice cereal. The only problem we had was when I wasn't getting it to her mouth fast enough!

This is how it happened. The poor baby has been so gassy! She's got reflux really bad and she spits up everything. Lots of times it comes forcefully out her mouth and nose and she gets choked. So, she's been having some really bad days lately. Lot's of gas pain and crying. Last night was rough and when we went to bed she whined and grunted and cried for a while and I thought, I think I can mix up a paste that will help her belly. I mixed ginger paste, lemon grass paste and peppermint (all herbs that are used for upset stomach, gas and indigestion) together with a little bit of water. I put in in my magic bullet (it's like a small blender) and made sure it was all chopped extra fine and mixed well. Then I gave her a small amount from a spoon. She loved it! and she wanted more...so i gave her more. Then she wanted more, so I made some rice cereal and mixed it in with the cereal. She ate it all and wanted more. I didn't give her more but I did nurse her and then we both went to bed and slept peacefully all night!!! Did you get that? We slept all night. Thank you God!

In Christ,

Shirley

"Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer."(Psalms 19:14)

I am so disappointed in what the boys did yesterday evening. Anyone who knows me knows that I am extremely protective over the boys. I have actually been accused of being over protective (imagine that...is that even possible in today's world?). When we moved from the country to town I wouldn't let them play outside without an adult. I mean...they were only 4 and 5 years old at the time. But as we got use to our new home and the kids became familiar with the boundaries I agreed to let them play in the back yard (behind the house, away from the street) alone. Then they met a few boys from down the street and after meeting the boys parents and talking with them a few times we agreed to let them play in the other boys' yards. They were not allowed to go inside for a few reasons; 1) one or both of the parents of the other boys are smokers and my kids are allergic to cigarette smoke; and 2) I can't see what is going on inside their houses. I don't know them well enough to say that I would trust them with my kids behind closed doors.

So anyway, I let them go down to play in the other boys' yards and a little while later a neighbor who knows how protective I am, came to tell us that all of the boys were nowhere near any one's house. They had taken their bikes down onto a completely different street and were riding from one end of that street to the other and back. Well, at one end of that street is the busiest highway in the county! I freaked out. Needless to say, the boys are Grounded...with a capitol G! They are not allowed to leave our yard or have their friends over until further notice! They are allowed to play outside in our yard (but not with their friends) just to preserve my sanity. If I kept them cooped up in the house with me 24/7 we might all lose it! I'd say it won't be long until we allow them to have friends over but they will not leave our yard to play anywhere else in the neighborhood until they are responsible enough to be trusted with that freedom. That may be a while!

I thought I had found a home-school group for us to join. But I'm not so sure. It seems like a great group except for a few things. They seem a bit strict for my taste. It's not that I don't agree with their rules and standards. I think I do agree with the majority of them. One of the things I take issue with is the fact that they have a strict dress code. I agree with the way they say we must dress but I don't agree with the fact that they take that choice from the parent. It is my choice what I wear and what I put on my kids. I do dress modestly (Very modestly) and I don't allow the kids to wear anything inappropriate. I just don't like the fact that they have made rules about everything. Isn't homeschooling about freedom? And if it is truly a group of Christians there should be no problem with dress or conduct that requires that much control by the leaders of the group. I don't know, but I think I'll keep looking.

Well, the phone is ringing. Gotta go for now.

In Christ,

Shirley

This is Samantha on her birthday.

This is Samantha a few days ago.

This is Samantha Yesterday.

On Friday I was admitted to the hospital because of the preeclampsia. They took little Samantha a bit early. She was born at 34  weeks and 3 days. She is in the NICU at Children's Hospital. She is doing great. Right now she weighs 4 pounds and 12 ounces. She was on a ventilator but is now breathing independently. She's learning how to get her sucking, swallowing and breathing coordinated enough to eat. They had been feeding her intravenously until yesterday. They are now giving her the breast milk that I am pumping. She's doing pretty good with the bottle. She has a great appetite! Last night they let me nurse her. She did pretty good at that too! I was discharged last night so I'm home and she's not. They can't tell me when they think she will get to come home but she is progressing faster than they expected. She's has lost five ounces since birth though, and she needs to gain it back before she can come home. She also needs to be able to eat 1 and 1/2 - 2 ounces at a feeding. With her appetite, I dont think that will be a problem. They said her stomach needs to do some stretching first though. I'm going to post a picture of her sometime today.My boys are still at my brother's house. I miss them so much. They are staying for two more days if I can stand it.

Right now, I think I'm going back to sleep.

Please pray for baby Samantha. I want her to come home. I am asking the Lord to bring her home by the weekend. He can do that! Please help us pray. Thank you.

In Christ,

Shirley

I haven't updated the blog in a bit because it is becoming increasingly more difficult to only focus on the positive things. I really don't want to blog the negative stuff. But I guess if I'm going to keep you up to date I'm going to have to let you in on some of the not so good things that are going on around here.

I have mentioned that I'm having problems with my back and my sciatic nerve. That just keeps getting worse so I have had to spend most of my time in bed. When I do get up long enough to go potty I have to use a walker. Then it is right back to bed. Our six year old, Isaac, has been a huge help around here while his Dad is at work.

As if not being able to walk isn't enough, now I'm having some loss of kidney and liver function. I'm having horrible headaches and blurred vision. It's looking like pre-eclampsia. I'll find out exactly what is going on on Friday.

On top of that Tommy is still only getting to work 4 days a week and he's even had to miss some of those to drive me to the doctor or to go himself. He's having problems with a nerve in his face. He feels pretty bad. So anyway, without him getting 40 hours at work, money is really tight. That is pretty much an understatement. We are so broke and we aren't even meeting the bills.

 Last night little Tommy, (our 5 year old) was riding his bike and had a wreck. He sliced the back of his head open. He got 3 stitches and a huge knot back there. He was brave and didn't cry at all while they were stitching him up! What a big boy!

On the bright side, the very best friend that anyone could ever have, Lisa, spent the whole day here with her kids yesterday getting us caught up on laundry and dishes. They were even brave enough to clean the boys' room. Let me tell you, that was a task!

As far as the financial things go, God will provide. He always has. He always will.

Pray for our family. Pray for my ailing body and for the health of our daughter, Samantha. It's looking like she may come early. Pray for My husband. He's under a  lot of pressure. Pray for little Tommy's head to heal quickly.

It's bed time. Bye for now.

In Christ,

Shirley

Here are two prints from the ultrasound I had today. I thought Baby Samantha's face was pretty clear in these. Thought I'd share them. The first one only shows the left side of her face from the front. Look at that chubby little cheek!

The second one shows her profile.

Crazy. My children are driving me crazy! That old Patsy Cline song has been playing in my head for days! And I haven't listened to that kind of music since I was saved several years ago. I'm telling you, this week has absolutely been one for the record books. I have never seen so much fighting and whining and screaming and mess making in all my life! And I've seen a lot of all of those things. I mean I do have three kids and a husband. It seems that all the boys are in overdrive. They go through a room and leave it looking like a hurricane hit.  If there is more than one of them in the same room at the same for more than a few seconds the screaming begins. "Gimme my toy!" "Stop looking at me!" "Don't touch me!" "Stop talking!" You're making too much noise!" "You're in my way!" "MOM!!!" If anyone ever needed a Calgon escape, I do!...You remember...those old commercials where the tired and overstressed woman soaks in a steaming tub with Calgon bath powder? She would say, "Calgon, take me away!" When she stepped into that tub she looked so relaxed, like that bath powder was the answer to it all. But at my house the bathroom door doesn't keep anyone out. I don't think I've been to my bathroom alone (for any reason) in six years. I'm not really even sure why we have a door on there at all. If I lock the door and try to have a few minutes alone, all three kids (especially Jacob) have a meltdown outside the door in the hallway. Little hands and arms come poking through from the other side. They shove little toys and pictures they have drawn for me under the door. Of course Jacob cries the whole time and beats on the door. It really is pitiful. If I'm in the shower or the tub everyone in the house has an urgent need to potty.

But tonight, tonight will be different (Please , Lord, let tonight be different!). Tonight my husband has gone fishing (again). He has been cut back to four days at work again. He's off tomorrow so I don't expect him back until early morning. The kids are getting in bed SOON and I am having a long hot soak in the tub. I don't have any Calgon but I do have Epsom salt for my aching muscles and lavender essential oil for my frazzled nerves! I may take my Bible and read a bit. Or I may just sit in there and relax. And heaven help any young'n that dares to get out of his bed. And they had better not even think about coming through that bathroom door! I'm not sure if you've picked up on this or not, but I really need a break; A long, quiet break.

I think one evening very soon I am going to try to talk Lisa into getting out of the house with me. We can leave our kids and men to look out for each other and maybe go have Chinese or something. Maybe we won't do anything except go somewhere quiet and sit and soak in the silence. It would be great if we could store it to draw from later the way a camel stores water.

Okay. It is now 8pm. Jacob has fallen asleep on the couch. Isaac and Tommy are getting ready for bed now. I'm going to move Jacob to his bed, kiss the boys goodnight and get in the tub.

Bye for now!

In Christ,

Shirley

It's nap time for little Jacob so I thought I'd have a few minutes of quiet. I was wrong. My other two little angels are taking advantage of his absence. I have a boy at each elbow. I am laying across my bed. I spend as much time as I can in this position because my back hurts the least when I lay like this. I have pillows stacked under me to keep from putting so much pressure on the baby belly. The draw back is that the boys can't seem to resist the opportunity to bounce around me on my bed. So much for quiet time.  Last Saturday I was laying on the bed and there was a wrestling match going on with My husband and the boys. They were having so much fun. It was cute until I got a little knee buried deep in the side of my belly. Everything is OK. The doc says I just have a bruised uterus and I should take it easy for a while and be sure to keep away from the family wrestling matches!

I don't really have a whole lot on my mind to share today. I just had the desire to blog. What I am thinking about the most is our church situation. Without going into a whole lot of detail I'll just say that we have had the hardest time finding a church for our family. We don't seem to fit in any of the denominational churches and things seem to get a bit crazy in most of the non denominational churches we have been to. We aren't that picky (some would disagree with that statement). We would just like to find a place that preaches what the Bible says without putting their own weird spin on it. We thought we had found such a place. But then it became painfully clear that they do not practice what they preach. Don't get me wrong. We can handle goofed up people in the church (we are so far from perfect ourselves). What we cannot handle is goofed up leadership. Call me crazy but I believe a person who is truly called (by God) to preach is by definition speaking words that have been inspired by God Himself. He shouldn't be up there giving his own opinion as fact. That's how false doctrine is introduced into the church. I  have been told that listening to preaching is like eating fish. You have to eat the meat and throw away the bones. Well I strongly disagree! If the message is really inspired by God (as it should be) then there will be no bones! God doesn't hand out garbage and leave us to separate it as we are able! That is just plain confusion and we know who is the author of confusion! I have never seen an example in scripture where a message was given by God and people had to sort it out keeping the truth and throwing out the lies. God has never worked like that and He doesn't work like that today.

As you may have gathered, as of now, we have no church home. We still preach at the local jail every Saturday. That is such an awesome opportunity. We love going there. I would like to go to other institutions (hospitals, nursing homes etc.) as the Lord leads. I'd also like to have home Bible studies for those who are being released from jail (and anyone else who wants to come).

Have any of you had similar experiences with church? Does anybody understand or do I just sound like a fruit nut to all of you?

Another problem I have encountered is friends for our kids. I am pretty picky about who I let my kids spend time with. They are very impressionable and I don't want them negatively influenced by non believers. It's one of the big reasons that we home school. The trouble is that I was really counting on most of their social interaction coming from church. It's hard to get that if you can't find a decent church. We are friends with a Christian family who has 4 children. We don't get together as much as we would like. It seems that we are always busy or they are always busy. I guess we should make a better effort to get together more. What do you guys do to provide social experiences for your children (besides church)? I sure wold like to hear from any of you who have ideas or advice.

Well, Jacob is awake. That was a short nap. Gotta go.

In Christ,

Shirley

I know, I know! It's been almost a month since I've updated my blog. Trust me, it's not because nothing is going on in my life. I have been extra busy with doctor's appointments and physical therapy (for my back and leg). It seems like there is always something that needs doing and some where we needed to be 15 minutes ago. Yes, we are one of those annoying families that are chronically late. I try not to be late. I really do. I even plan to be early and I start trying to get everyone ready a few hours in advance but somehow we always end up running late. It drives me (and everyone else) crazy!'

Tommy took the boys camping last weekend. It was there first real camping trip and they had so much fun. My boy Isaac missed his mommy and came home to spend friday night with me. But he was ready to rough it again with his daddy on Saturday morning. They didn't catch any fish. They didn't even get a nibble. They were all frustrated. I felt sorry for them. Poor guys. On Sunday evening afetr all of the Easter festivities, Isaac stabbed himself in the hand with a knife. That was tramatic for everyone...especially him. But he's all put back together and healing nicely now.

It's still a girl! I'm still excited and Tommy is still nervous. The boys are looking forward to her arrival, except for Jacob. He doesn't understand yet. But he will as soon as there is a little baby in his spot on Mommy's lap. That will be hard for him I'm sure.

Well, This is about all the time my back will allow me to spend in this chair (painful) so I have to go for now. I just wanted to let you all know that I'm still around and doing good. The baby is doing great (thank you Jesus!) I hope to check in again soon.

Bye for now!

In Christ,

Shirley

It's a girl! It's a girl! We're having a girl! It's funny. I have prayed for a girl. we have three boys already. I know that the gender of the baby depends on the father. My father-in-law was into genealogy and he traced the family back to the late 1400's and there has never been a girl born in the family. So I was hoping for a girl but I knew that the chances were slim. I really was not expecting a girl. When the ultrasound technician said it was a girl I thought she was kidding. Tommy and I had been teasing each other throughout the ultrasound. He would see a  body part and say, "Is that his hand?" and I would say, "No, that's her hand!". The technician was laughing at us and I just figured that she was getting in on the goofing around when she smiled really big and said, "There it is! It's a girl!" She was not kidding! We are having a girl! Everyone is thrilled! Well, except my poor husband. The thought of having a girl makes him very nervous. He's just not sure what to do with one. Poor guy. I have assured him that when she is born and he holds her in his arms the daddy instinct will kick in and it won't matter if the little sleeper is pink or blue, he'll know what to do. I remember when Isaac was born. He was our first and I was so nervous. I felt like I couldn't do anything right. But Tommy, he was a natural. It was like he had been doing it forever.

Gosh. I'll have to rename my blog now!

I'm pregnant! I'm pregnant! I AM PREGNANT!!!

Okay, I am a bit excited. I took a home pregnancy test a few days ago and I am pregnant. I haven't been to the doctor yet. As of now I still don't have health insurance since Tommy lost his job. But we're working on it. If I have calculated correctly, I should be around 6 weeks along. I may have to change the counter later on. Anyway. I just wanted to share that with you really quick. My husband is waiting to use the computer. It seems that someone always is lately! I hope to be able to write more later. I'm doing well to check my email (not answer it all...just check it) and get my school planning done. Anyway, I do have to say bye for now.

In Christ,

Shirley

P.S. Pray for a girl! Looks like I'll have to change the name of the blog!

We had a great day today! As you all know, my husband has been laid off since the 10th. We've had a lot of time together and it has been awesome. I joke with him and tell him that if he doesn't go back to work soon I'll have him banished to the back yard! But really, I love having him home. He helps out with the boys and school. He's even been helping me cook since I haven't been feeling well. Most of the time he's looking for something to do. Don't get me wrong, there is plenty to do around here. More than enough to keep him busy for months. The thing is that he needs money to complete any project he has to do. Money is something that we don't have a lot of right now. I mean we are paying the bills and feeding the family (that is definitely a God thing...always has been, always will be). There just isn't any extra money to spend. We don't go out to eat or buy anything we don't absolutely need. We don't do a lot of driving around. We try to get all of that kind of thing done at the same time. Of course it doesn't always happen that way but we try. Anyway, today we had to go to the shop (where he worked). There is a chance that he may get called back to work and the Lord hasn't given him another job yet so he still has lots of tools at the shop (in case they get more work and call him back). He needed to pick up some of his tools so we all went along and made it  trip to the mountains. We didn't have to go very far out of the way and we found a pretty easy trail to hike with the boys. They had so much fun. Tommy and I enjoyed it too. Poor Jacob tired easily but had a good time for the most part. The slide show at the top of my page is pictures from today. God is an amazing artist. When I look around at all that He has created, I'm just in awe. He must have some kind of imagination. I mean do you ever wonder how He came up with the designs for some of the beautiful plants and flowers He made? And the bugs and the animals. It's just amazing. Today we walked up to this huge rock. It was taller than my husband and twice that big around. The boys ran up to it and one of them yelled, "Wow! who made that!" And I said, "God did." They said, How cool!" They had so much fun today and they learned a lot about God and His creation. I am so thankful for the time our family has been given to spend together lately. What a blessing! Isn't it just like God to bring a blessing out of a rough situation! He has a knack for doing that. I don't always notice it or appreciate it. I take so much for granted. He's so good to me! I have this great devotional called, How Great Thou Art. It's Compiled by Steve Halliday and William Travis. I haven't read very much of it but what I have read is wonderful. It's all about the glory and majesty of our Heavenly Father. I'd like to share some of it with you sometime. I have been trying to share a prayer devotional on my prayer blog. I haven't been able to add devotions daily. There's been so much going on around here. We've been getting that mobile home ready to move. It's all unhooked and ready to go. We are just waiting for the electric company to take the power lines from the pole so we can move it out of the way. The mobile home movers can get the home out without taking the pole down but they will have to cut some limbs from Bobby & April's tree. The pole has to come down anyway so we might as well just get it first. They should unhook it tomorrow. Monday at the latest. The good news is that it will be moved by the last day of the month. THANK YOU JESUS!!!!

Well, it's been a while since I've updated my prayer blog. I'm gonna go do that. Why don't you visit and share your requests? I sure would love to pray for all of you and I 'd sure appreciate your prayers as well!

Bye for now!

In Christ,

Shirley

I could tell you all about the day but I still couldn't explain just how trying it was. I will just go over the big thing that happened. My husband did get get laid off. He has no job. He will eventually get to draw unemployment but it will bee around half of the normal amount that he brings home each week. I guess I should say that the amount he brings home each week barely covers everything. Things were getting better and I'm sure we would have been ahead soon and not just making it from week to week but then the dreaded lay off came. I was so surprised. I just knew that he was in no danger of getting laid off. I mean logically he was the worst choice. But the business owner isn't the most logical guy. We have insurance for the next 30 days. That should cover the very important work that Isaac has to have done to his teeth in 3 weeks or so. It should cover Jacob's next check up and shots. It should cover Isaac's visit with the psychologist in a few weeks. It should cover Big Tommy's medicine that keeps him from having seizures. It should cover the procedure on my heart next week and the follow up visit. But after that, I don't know what we'll do. I guess we'll just trust the Lord to do His thing and take care of his children. Tommy says that he is past being worried and is now excited to see how our Heavenly Father is going to provide each need as it arises. What faith he has. I sure love him. I am so glad God chose to put Tommy and I together. I don't know how I would get through this life without him. With God's help of course, but Tommy makes it much more interesting and much more fun. He's amazing. He's truly created in the image of God. Don't get me wrong...I'm not comparing Tommy to God. But I sure see Jesus in him a lot. He makes me so proud to be his wife. I know that I lived for 22 years before I met him but I really can't imagine my life without him. I don't want to imagine my life without him. I can honestly say that as I was growing up I had know idea that it was even possible to be this happy and to be this blessed. Of course, I didn't know God then. I met Tommy before either of us knew the Lord. It wasn't that great. But He was saved and then I was saved and only after we knew the love of God were we able to fully love each other. And the rest, as they say, is history. I'm not saying that we don't have our tough times. We do. The only thing is that now we look at each other and our commitment to each other through our commitment to Christ (who hates a broken vow). And With The help of our Heavenly Father (who is always there to help when we are willing to HUMBLE OURSELVES and pray) everything always works out and we grow closer to each other and our love for each other gets stronger all the time. We do have our hard times spiritually, but God has never abandoned us and he isn't about to start now. My husband isn't perfect. He does have his faults (as do I) but there is no doubt that he is a man called of God (I am so proud of what God is doing in him). I can't imagine life without him...or with anyone else. I'm so in love. Just when the honeymoon is coming to an end God renews my love and commitment and my desire for my husband. Isn't God great! He really does care about our relationships! What an awesome Father He is!

I guess I have ramble on enough. I feel like I could praise God forever though. I should hush now. The kids need me to tuck them in and pray with them. It's past their bed time.

In Christ,

Shirley

I'm feeling a little down today. I'm not sure why I am blogging about it. It's kind of like writing in a diary I guess (except it's meant for others to see). You know how it just feels better sometimes to just get it out? I guess that's what I'm doing. There are so many things in my life right now that are causing stress. The main one that is bothering me is the whole deal with the kids and homeschooling and Isaac and Asperger's syndrome. Everyone has an opinion (that they see more as fact than opinion) and no one seems to have a problem telling me what they think the problem is with my boys. Of course, no one agrees with the doctor's opinion except me and Lisa. Everyone else thinks that I have made him how he is somehow and that the only solution to the problem is to be more strict, spank him more, show him who's boss, don't ever let him have his way (even on things that don't matter), and of course, send him to public school so that all the "normal" kids can teach him to be just like them. This is even causing tension in my marriage. Tommy thinks Isaac's disorder is no big deal and if we try hard enough, we can force him into the mold that will shape him into the boy that everyone will be comfortable with. By trying hard enough, I mean we have to spank him and fuss at him everytime he steps out of line. We can't give him any slack.It doesn't seem to matter that the doctors say that his brain doesn't process things the way everyone else does and he can't seem to connect the offense and the punishment. So, even when he has been punished  for an unacceptable behavior and we try to explain why this is happening, he goes right back and does the same thing again. Not out of defiance or spite, but because he doesn't get that the thing he is doing is what's bringing the bad consequence. He is a good kid. He's very affectionate. He doesn't always try to do the wrong thing, it just happens and then he always seems surprised when he gets in trouble. A well meaning neighbor told me yesterday that I was hurting the boys by homeschooling them and that I needed to stop being stubborn and do the right thing by putting them in school. She says I have no control over them at all (which is not true). They do have behavioral problems. But contrary to popular opinion, it isn't because they are bad kids or I'm a bad parent. I admit that I feel overwhelmed at times. Sometimes I just don't know what to do with them. Not because I just don't know how to parent (I'm learning as I go...just like everyone else) but because I've tried everything I know to try and most of what others have said to try and it doesn't seem to be working! Some things work sometimes, but nothing works all the time and sometimes I'm just worn out physically, emotionally and mentally and I just don't know what else to do. Does that make me a bad parent? I mean, really, does it? Everyone around me seems to think so (except Lisa. Thank God for Lisa!!)

I'm sorry. I'm not trying to bring anyone down. I just needed to get it out. Lisa isn't home so I can't talk to her. I could talk to my aunt Kathy (she's one of my best friends) but she's got enough to worry about without me calling her up crying about all this. I'd love to talk to my husband...I wish I could. But he doesn't agree and he won't budge. And we usually end up mad or hurt at each other. It's not because he's insensitive. It's just that he and Isaac have a lot of the same problems and he grew up just fine without psycologists and occupational therapists and different discipline and parenting techniques. The thing is...he didn't make it just fine. He had problems at school. he has problems with social interaction. He had problems at home. His dad had a lot of the same problems as well. And he was abusive to Tommy. Tommy did not grow up just fine and I want better than that for our boys. Asperger's was virtually unknown while Tommy and his dad were growing up. But if they had known more about it I'm sure they both would have been diagnosed.

Isaac's psycologist said that people like that...who have dealt with similar problems in themselves and were never evaluated or diagnosed are among the least understanding and sypathetic to the needs of kids like Isaac.

Does anybody out there know what I'm dealing with? It would be great to hear from you. Leave a comment or email me. Maybe we can encourage each other.

Please pray for our family.

In Christ,

Shirley

Wow, have you ever been glad it's Monday before?! This was quite a hectic weekend for us. The biggest thing we are doing is trying to get the old place cleaned out so we can get rid of it. So, I spent a lot of time and energy up there this weekend. There was also a birthday party for my dad and my brother, for which I had to make the gifts. Then My husband, Tommy was sick all day Saturday. He's been having seizures (please pray for him). All day on Saturday his speech was slurred and he stumbled when he walked. He ended up going to bed instead of the birthday party. The kids and I went on ahead, even though I wanted to stay home and watch over Tommy. He needed to have quiet so he could rest more than he needed me hovering around asking if he's alright every few minutes. We ended up having a good time and Tommy had lots of rest.

Our youngest son, Jacob, had his first hair cut this weekend. My husband took him in the bathroom and closed the door and he had all my baby's curls lopped off before I knew what was going on. I was quite upset. Sure, he's still adorable. But it's just not the same (check out my photo album there is a picture of him with curls and one without). They still look like babies until the first haircut. Then they look like little boys. I wanted him to look like a baby for just a little longer.

Isaac and I visited the PBSkids website yesterday. We played Super Why spelling games. He did so well! I was sooo proud of him. And even better than that, he was proud of himself! We will be visiting that site lots in the future!

Well, Tommy will be home from work soon and I have to go to our old place and work some more. I'm almost done!! So, bye for now!

Shirley

Right now all my boys are asleep, even the big one. The cats and I have the house all to our selves. I’d be in bed too but I’m waiting on the last load of laundry for the day to get finished before I go to sleep. Then there will be one less load to deal with tomorrow.

I said last time that I would tell you the funny story about that night’s dinner. So, here goes. My mom and I go to water aerobics on Tuesday nights. This week we showed up for class and it had been cancelled. So the only logical thing to do was go out for dinner! I had already left food and instructions for my husband so I knew my family was taken care of (I couldn’t have enjoyed dinner if I thought they were hungry). We went to Ruby Tuesday’s and on the way to our table I saw the best looking salad bar I had seen in a while. But I told my mom, “We can have salad anytime! Let’s have steak! I’m buying.” So we both ordered steak and shrimp. It came with broccoli and a baked potato. We also ordered the salad bar. So we sat there eating our salads and waiting on our steaks and the craziest thought crept into my head…and then out my mouth before I knew it! I said, “Mom, maybe we should fill up on the salad and take our steak and shrimp home to our husbands!” And would you believe it, she said she thought that was a great idea. We told our waiter what we were doing and he laughed and said we should eat it all, hide the receipt and not tell our men that were even there.  (Do you think people really do things like that?) But we told him to bring us some boxes and we packed it up and took it home. I dropped my mom off at her house and came home to my bunch. Well Jacob always cries for me as soon as I come through the door so I handed my husband his box and grabbed my fussy boy. Tommy said he had already eaten and that he would take the meal to work the next day for lunch. Well, after that the evening got pretty hectic with games and baths and prayers for everyone and before you know it we were all in bed. The next morning, the clock started blaring at 4:30 and we arose to find pieces of steak and shrimp strewn all over the living room. The cats had eaten all they could and slapped the rest around the floor. I wonder if maybe we should have just eaten it at the restaurant!? My poor Tommy had peanut butter sandwiches for lunch!

Bye for now!

Monday night I had a family dinner that was pretty close to perfect. I wanted to write about it yesterday but I never had an opportunity to sit down at the computer, so, I’ve saved it for today’s entry.

First, let me tell you what a typical family meal is like at my house. For the past six years we have lived in a very small two bedroom mobile home. Since we started having kids and we all started to accumulate stuff it’s been very cramped. Our kitchen table was not big enough for all five of us to eat at and even if it had been, it seemed to always be covered with stuff. So,, we usually ate in the living room. I always wanted to be able to gather the family around a big table where we all had our own space and have meals where we could eat and talk together (like I use to see on TV). Our family only gets to do that at holiday gatherings at other people’s houses.

My father-in-law passed away in February and left us his home. He and his brother grew up in this house so it’s pretty special to us. It is quite a bit bigger than our old place. The kitchen is huge compared to my old one. We have a table that seats six now and we all gather around it at meal time.

Last weekend I was feeling pretty cruddy so we had take out a lot and we had lots of food left over. On Monday evening I heated everything up and added a few side dishes. I put each thing in its own serving dish and set the (big) table for five (I’m sure it would have been better if I had cooked it all myself but I didn’t want to waste all that food)  We all sat down and thanked our Heavenly Father for our many blessings. Then I served my husband the biggest chicken breast we had. That’s how our meal started. It ended with Tommy and I clearing the table and putting away leftovers. Then he looked at me and said, “That was a perfect picture of a homemaker. You should have seen your smile when you served me first. And you gave me the best piece!”  The Lord has given me one of the things I have always wanted most; A big kitchen table and a family to gather around it. Isn’t He wonderful!!!

I’ll have to tell you about last night’s dinner in my next entry! I’m sure you’ll laugh. Bye for now.

I never did get back to the blog yesterday. No, Jacob did not eat the cat! We've just been so busy around here! We are right in the middle of moving. We have a very small place that we are moving out of and a bigger place we are moving in to. We are actually living in the new place but the old one is still so full of junk! It's amazing how much has been packed in to that tiny place for the past six years. Pulling it all out is a bit like watching 20 circus clowns crawl out of a Volkswagen. You wouldn't believe how much stuff my kids have managed to pack under the couch. And I don't even want to talk about under their bed. I wonder if they need anyone at the circus to help the clowns squish themselves into tiny places.

They seem to be much happier in the new place. They have more room to play, inside and outside. The baby has his own room. He loves that. Tommy Sr. and I are pretty tickled about it to. At the old place Jacob's crib was at the foot of our bed. Now he has his own room with a new bed that he can get in and out of by himself like a big boy.

Uh Oh. I hear a conflict  brewin' I have to go play referee!

I hope to hear from some of you soon. Where are all you bloggers anyway? The faithful Lisa, and I seem to be the only ones looking at this thing!

oh....now there's screaming. Gotta go!