Apr. 14, 2007
A Day in the Life of Asperger's Syndrome
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Ya know, a lot of folks are surprised when I tell them that our oldest son has Asperger's Syndrome. I guess that I don't refer to it that often because I don't want him to be defined by a label. I've been thinking about this the last week or so. Yes, he has some differences, but don't we all? I think that the reason that Asperger's (or autism or the like) are "labels", so to speak, is because they have such social 'symptoms'. They wear their differences on the outside...most of us are able to conceal our differences on the inside. I don't want to label him, I don't want him to label himself (therefore limit himself) and I don't want others to label him. But, at the same time....this is a fairly big part of who my son is. Or at least, why he is who he is. I don't want to deny him what is rightfully his either. I don't want him to be embarrassed by the "label". I really just want him to be known for more than the label. Known like we, his family, know him. He's more than a child with some eccentricities, he's not Aspergers - he's just a child who happens to have Aspergers. Asperger's Syndrome is on the spectrum on Autism. It is on the high functioning end of the spectrum. I don't consider it a form of autism really, because I don't want to insult those parents who are dealing with a child who is on the opposite end of the spectrum. I know that the work involved in training an Apergers child doesn't begin to compare to the work involved with rearing an autistic child. In some ways I feel like a hypocrite because having the label is, somewhat, easier when it comes to explaining his eccentricities. Before we began homeschooling, his teachers just didn't understand him and didn't respect his differences. I know that there are many faithful teachers who are very accepting of their students....but our experience has not been so great. His second grade teacher was really good for him; she was the only one who showed patience with him. We began homeschooling at winter break of that year though so he had little time with her. No one really understands why autism is growing at the pace that it is. There is, obviously, some genetic component but there has to be an environmental component as well. Otherwise, it wouldn't be increasing to the degree that it is increasing. My son is your every day average child to the distant observer. When you spend one-on-one time with him is when you really see his differences. They aren't wacky differences....just noticeable differences. For example, Aspergers children often are very intelligent and memorize facts on subjects that are of interest to them....and then, literally, lecture others on these subjects. They are oblivious to social cues that others are bored or that others might want to contribute to the conversation, or even that others are trying to end the conversation. It's not a wacky difference, but it is a very obvious difference when you spend time with my son. These children can often over react to small things. They don't seem to recognize that they are being watched or noticed when in public situations - so if they get hurt and naturally scream their heads off....they will do this in public as well, without any thought to embarrassment. They don't notice things that are right in front of their faces. They don't pick up on body language well. There are a lot of symptoms and they vary from child to child. Even just the spectrum of Asperger's Syndrome alone is a very broad spectrum. I wish that we would have realized that our son had Aspergers earlier in his life. When he was four years old and in his first preschool class, the director of the preschool gave us an article that she'd found on Aspergers (and this was years ago when it was, even, less known than it is today). She thought that he may have a form of Aspergers. We read the article but really didn't see our son in the symptoms described enough to 'diagnose' him with Aspergers. Funny thing is, that years later, as he aged, he grew into more of the symptoms and he is now, at 11, closing in on 12 years old, a classical case of an Aspergers child. I've read that the typical age for children to be diagnosed with Aspergers is around 11 years of age. Given our experience, I can understand why. A lot of the symptoms are social in nature, and a lot of younger children haven't matured to the social level that Aspergers is most noticeably recognized. When our son was, I believe, five years old his pediatrician sent him for an MRI so that they could take a look at his brain and have more insight into our concerns. The neurologist told us that he was able to see one part in his brain that was "different" but that he wasn't sure if he'd develop Autism or not. This diagnosis makes more sense now. Looking back over the years we were able to see signs from the time that he was two years old. If he hadn't been our first child, it might have been easier to notice. When our second, and then later, our third son came along it was a little easier to notice that there were/are, indeed, differences. I'm proud of my boy. I wouldn't have him any other way. He's a bit more challenging to parent than the 'average' child, but he is my child and that's all that matters to me. I couldn't love him more or be more proud of him. He is a very well behaved child; the most compliant child that I have. He's a very loving child. He's very interesting and fun. He's a great kid, and - how could this mom ask for more? It was for this child that I prayed...the one who God hand picked for our family....and it is this child who is a wonderful addition to our crazy-busy, chaotic, blessed life. There are gobs of engaging books out there on the subject, but one that I've found helpful is _The Asperger's Answer Book_ by Susan Ashley, PH.D. The subtitle is: The Top 300 Questions Parents Ask. To the, every day on-looker, he's your typical preteen boy. But, to those of us who know him, he's much more and really it these differences that make him who he is...and he's a great kid......and there's nothing wrong with that! |