Apr. 21, 2009
Suite 224 Contentment
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Lately I'm learning that this word that we throw around called "contentment" is a lot broader that I had realized. It seems that when I think about being content, I think about two different scenarios...the first being - satisfied in general with life. The whole "life is good" mentality. There are a few blessed moments in life when we get the reward of being able to feel this kind of contentment. The second scenario would be - that contentment that we feel that is divine, because there isn't a lot of reason to feel content when you look at the surface of life. Aren't those the two ways that we all think about contentment. Content with what you have and content with what you don't have. Right? Well, here I sit, in the 'bedroom' of hotel room number 224, that my family and I are calling home right now....and God is sharing with me that this thing called contentment is so much richer than that. He has such a gentle way about Him. He's so lavish with his guidance; so attuned to what I need to hear at any given time. He amazes me with his adept ability to know that I can't handle the whole thing all at once. In his warm way, little by little, He feeds me what I need and it's usually just enough to get me to the next feeding; just enough to keep me coming back to Him. Today, He's teaching me that the waters of contentment run so much deeper than I ever knew. He's teaching me that -- contentment can be found in the "being". You see, I'm not in that place where all is right with the world...there are a lot of loose ends that aren't all neatly tied up in my life right now. I'm also no longer in a place where you look at life and think that there is no other way to accept this particular lot other than to just be content with it and trust that the Lord has a plan. I'm in an interim phase at the moment. A phase where I can look back and see how far the Lord has brought us and there is this ever-so-shy light at the end of the tunnel, that we can finally catch a glimpse of occasionally. This interim phase is a little tricky on the heart. I want to praise and thank my sweet heavenly Father for bringing us to this place, and yet I also want to beg Him to bring that light closer and closer until we are seeing the sunshine and are out of that cramped, dark tunnel all together. And today, in His perfectly gentle way, He's sharing with me.....that there is contentment in the waiting too. I can be content just to be in this place where I'm not in the dark, but I'm not basking in the warmth yet either. It's not an all-or-nothing thing - this contentment. It's a gift. But it's a gift that I have a choice to accept. I want to accept contentment today. I want to choose contentment today. I want to feel content today. I don't need to have found the right house to live in yet. I just need to know that the One who loves me and graces me with His time and attention --- He knows. It must be okay - this interim phase that I'm in --- because He's content to leave me it in for a while longer. And if He's content with it, then I want to be too. |