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Posted in Church God Faith
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I posted this for the youth at our church and thought I would share it here. Let me tell you, it's no good. Have you ever been at a point in your life where you hold God at arms' length? Kind of like you might keep people at the front door to your house rather than invite them in if your house is really messy. You don't want Him to get too close and see what a mess you are. (As if He doesn't already know.) Well that's where I've been. And I have let the busy every day things, coupled with some personal heartache and struggles, drown out His voice. I knew my heart was growing cold and I felt powerless to stop it. I couldn't even pray, I could only say God please don't let me go-- don't give up on me. I am embarrassed to admit this because I am a preacher's wife-- I am supposed to be a "role model." For me, one of the hardest part of being a "preacher's wife" is not feeling the liberty to stand up in church and say "Hey I am really struggling in my spiritual life. Can someone help me?" I want to be real but at the same time I feel like I can't fall apart because I have to be there for everyone else. But I don't think we can have true revival until we let go of our "stained glass masquerade" and bare our souls. Because I know God will bring me through this valley and it will be a tremendous testimony to His everlasting Love and Mercy-- but if I don't share the struggle how can I stand up at the end and share the victory? My cousin in CA, had this to say on his blog: The Church would be a radically different organism if its members felt the freedom to be authentic. Nothing about the churches that I have been a part of has ever given me the feeling that I could bare my soul… I recently had dialogue with a college friend who never winced at expressing himself while we were in school. I remember being astounded at his candor and feeling ashamed that I could not reciprocate. We both agreed that if we could break through the pious barriers that hide the true personage that Christ gave his life for, the Church would see revival. What say you? Do you want to hear about the struggles from church leaders? Maybe you are one-- do you feel the liberty to be authentic with your congregation? I realize the way I am asking the question is very biased toward "baring the soul." I don't mean it to be, but I guess I am inclined that way deep down in my heart, although not experientially. My own experience leads me to put on a happy face and hide the struggles. I honestly think our church is ready for getting real. I feel love and acceptance from the people in my church. My struggle is more internal than from them. It's mostly pride-- I want everyone to think I am wonderful, LOL. For the record, God is pulling me out of the pit. He is faithful, even when we are faithless. |
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