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I have been thinking about contentment (and sometimes the lack thereof.) I think of (and often describe) Macy as my most volatile child, the one most likely to blow up, the one I am least likely to leave in the care of her big brother. She is the youngest of four, and she is only 5, so I am not saying she is a bad kid. Just... a little temperamental at times. And strong-willed. But I was thinking this weekend, that in some areas she is very easy-going and content. She didn't get to play soccer when everyone else did because she was too young. She's not in dance because she is too young, and I know she would love it like Sydney does. She is most-likely-to-be-left-out-of-something just because of her age, and yet she never complains. She has never cried or begged or whined because she didn't get to participate. On the other hand, Reed, who just turned 10, is a mild-mannered, easygoing child most of the time. She is most likely to help me clean up without complaining. (Do all moms have a go-to kid? The one you know you can ask to help without catching attitude? Or is that just me?) I try not to abuse her because she is quick to help, so I intentionally force myself to ask another child at times, even knowing that the attitude may surface. But I will say this about Reed-- she has never been content to be the younger sister. She has always wanted to do everything Spenser does, and lets you know about it, too. It baffles me a little, because I had an older brother and I never remember feeling as discontent as she seems to. I have told her at times she will never be as old as he and she will never be a boy. "Get over it" may have been my exact words. I know, mother of the year. But in looking at the two of them I guess we just all have our areas of strength and weakness. For me, I think of myself as content because I don't yearn for material things (much.) I am content to make the sacrifices required to be a SAHM and wife of a minister. And yet, upon closer inspection, I too have areas of discontent. At the moment, the heat comes to mind. I am in Georgia in July in an old house with high ceilings. It is hot. However, no matter how many times I day I declare how hot I am, the mere force of my words will never ever cool the house one degree. So maybe I should get over it? |
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