My twenty cents keeps moving!

Feb. 1, 2009

Cut out the Middle Man

Posted in Church God Faith

Jason is reading Exodus to the kids; God is telling Moses what to say.

Sydney: Why doesn't God just talk to Pharaoh?

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Jan. 29, 2009

25 things

Posted in Memes

Stole this from Emily, Em, Emy, Em-O, Emmy Lou, Emma, Molly, MeMe

1. I am scared of birds. It probably goes back to my childhood when a bird got in my house and flew around my head. And the thought of watching that Hitchcock movie? *Shudder*

2. I am completely obsessed with ice. I eat it all day. Compulsively. I love Sonic ice, but I will settle for any size or shape.

3. I can sing a song about almost any word you say in casual conversation. I don't always mean to, but the songs just come to me when I hear the word. My kids think I am insane. Especially when we are doing history and I burst into song about Vikings or Sinbad the Sailor or Henry VIII. Then I have to look them up on YouTube to prove that I am not making them up.

4. I watch the Golden Girls almost every night when I go to bed. I big pink puffy heart them.

5. I made homemade laundry detergent a couple of weeks ago and feel strangely empowered by that fact. I'm no Ma Ingalls, but it was kinda fun. And it works great and is super cheap.

6. I can't watch people get embarrassed on TV or in a movie. It makes me so uncomfortable I have to close my eyes or leave the room. (You know like when they are about to get caught looking in the boss's desk or something like that.) I hate hate hate it.

7. I used to love to cook until now that I have to do it 3 times a day. The worst part of homeschooling is not having a janitor or a cafeteria lady.

8. Oddly, though, I love cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Love love love it.

9. I hate washing silverware. I don't love washing any dishes, but I really detest spoons and forks.

10. I once won $50 in a photography contest and made Jason refer to me as "the award-winning photographer" after that. :)

11. When I was pregnant with Spenser and had trouble sleeping I watched Star Wars (New Hope), Pretty Woman or Housesitter every single night to fall asleep. I can pretty much quote all 3 of them mostly by heart.

12. I try to keep my email inbox under 50. It's completely arbitrary but it makes me feel better when it is under 50.

13. I can play guitar a little. Spenser is way better than me, though. Punk.

14. I tend to overtip waitresses because I used to be one in college.

15. Sometimes I am overcome by irrational fear. Like when all 4 kids are swimming at the same time. I am terrified that they will drown. I pray and I trust God and I know that I shouldn't be that way, but I am. Same thing when we were climbing mountains in Tennessee. To say I was a nervous wreck is a complete understatement.

16. I don't have a favorite color. All these dumb email and Myspace surveys that you get always ask your favorite color and I say green but I could not care less about the color green or any other color for that matter.

17. I am always nervous that people I know are going to read my blog and find something to be offended about. Yeah, I know, it's dumb, but it's part of the whole preacher's wife thinking.

18. Jason and I teach a Sunday School class, but I participate in another Sunday School discussion-type class via email. The teacher emails me her discussion questions, and I answer them by email. It keeps me sharp.

19. I can tolerate a surprisingly large amount of chaos without being affected. Comes from having 4 kids. I barely even notice noise unless it has a certain urgency. Once (when Spenser was still in public school) I was on a bus with a bunch of 3rd graders going on a field trip. I was reading a book amidst all of the commotion, and a teacher asked me how I could read with all of that. I looked at him and said "I have 4 kids."

20. I am a big Loser when it comes to the library. I always end up owing huge fines and so it is probably cheaper for me to use ebay, amazon and paperbackswap.

21. I once had a horrible gall bladder attack (or something abdominal) that put me in the ER during a church business meeting. At that meeting a deacon trashed my husband and the senior pastor so badly that the pastor told me (in the ER) that God spared me. Apparently horrible abdominal pain was less painful than that meeting.

22. That deacon is no longer at our church. Long story short, God moved in a mighty way. I should write a book.

23. I have an irrational fear of church business meetings. No not really, but they make me nervous even though now they are very pleasant.

24. When I find a new song that I like I will listen to it a bazillion times. In a row.

25. I feel bad that none of my random facts were deep or spiritual or insightful. Oh great, now I have guilt.

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Jan. 28, 2009

Fairy Jumps

Jason was in the play A Midsummer Night's Dream when we were seniors in college. He played Puck, the mischievous sprite who wreaks havoc wherever he goes. In preparation for the play, a choreographer came in to teach Puck and the girl fairies how to move in a fairy-like way. Jason hurt his leg in the process and had to be taken to the hospital.

We had been dating about a year, and his parents were not overly fond of me. (Come to think of it, we have been married now 17 years and they still aren't LOL) So imagine my horror when I had to call his dad to get insurance information for the hospital and tell him that his son got hurt doing a Fairy Jump. It still makes me laugh to think about it.

P.S. He was fine in a few days with some ice and caution, and he was able to perform the play with no problems. He was actually very good. :)

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Jan. 27, 2009

Is My Quiver Full?

Posted in Family

I don't talk about my reproductive views very often, mostly because I know what I believe is right for me, but I am not sure what is right for everyone. They have to find that answer from God. We have basically always left our family size up to God.

People ask me if I'm through having kids, and I don't have an answer. I am content with our family of six, and frankly terrified of having another mouth to feed and body to clothe. But I trust God and His provision, so I am still leaving it up to Him. I feel old at 39 to have any more babies, but I know women-- many women-- who have had kids later than this, My best friend is 4 years older than me and just had a baby last year. My aunt had her 6th baby at this age. So of course it is possible, but I don't really know what will happen.

But last week, I picked up some clothes in my bedroom that needed sorting for giveaway, and the pair of sassy purple corduroy overalls from Baby Gap did me in. I started to cry. The thought of not having another baby to wear those little 3T overalls that my 3 girls had all worn just broke my heart.

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Jan. 26, 2009

Blue like Jazz

I am reading Blue like Jazz by Donald Miller. I really like it, although I wasn't sure I would. This line really spoke to me:

"Something got crossed in the wires, and I became the person I should be and not the person I am. It feels like I should go back and get the person I am and bring him here to the person I should be."

I think we all feel like that at times, and I have been there lately. Anyone else?

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Jan. 25, 2009

Ministry Stinks

Posted in Church God Faith

And no, I am not really complaining. I am not using figurative language. What I mean is, real life stinks. Real ministry literally stinks. Dealing with humans, reaching out with the love of Christ stinks. It means hugging a kid who hasn't had a bath in weeks and probably hasn't had a hug in even longer. It means letting the homeless guy sleep on your couch when it is 22 outside, even though you know it will take a week and a bottle of Febreeze to get it back to normal. It means you don't get a nap on Sunday afternoon because you take the family to lunch whose mom just got saved. And then it's time for choir before you catch your breath. It means you gag when you tell the shepherds and wise men to take off the shoes for the Christmas play, because then you smell feet for the next hour or three. It means you are on the bus for 2 hours with teenage boys who love nothing better then to pass gas and then spend hours talking about it. Ministry really stinks.

You know what stinks to God? Not unbathed kids, or homeless men or flatulent teenagers. Me. Self-righteous, hypocritical , pharisaical me. I am so aware of my own self-righteous stench because I am trying to love these people. Because it doesn't come naturally. Because I have to sometimes work really hard at it. And because I see my own inadequacies so clearly. I can't do this in my own strength. I fail miserable when I try.

Psalm 38

1O Lord, rebuke me not in thy wrath: neither chasten me in thy hot displeasure.
2For thine arrows stick fast in me, and thy hand presseth me sore.
3There is no soundness in my flesh because of thine anger; neither is there any rest in my bones because of my sin.
4For mine iniquities are gone over mine head: as an heavy burden they are too heavy for me.
5My wounds stink and are corrupt because of my foolishness.

And when I can admit this, when I truly confess it and come before God with my burnt-out, hopeless, defeated self, I start to smell a little better. A little sweeter. My prayers become like incense that covers the foul stench of my brokenness.

Psalm 141

1 LORD, I call on You; hurry to [help] me.
    Listen to my voice when I call on You.
    2 May my prayer be set before You as incense,
    the raising of my hands as the evening offering.

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Jan. 23, 2009

Quick Takes Friday

Quick Takes Friday is hosted by Jennifer at Conversion Diary

1. I have not completely given up on blogging; I just have been extremely busy, Sometimes I have so much I want to write about, but I just can't get started.

2. Sometimes I think we are not getting enough school done because life gets in the way, but, then again, I know my kids are learning alot. It is a constant struggle not to be ruled by the textbooks. I especially feel pressured because Spenser will be in HIGH SCHOOL next year. Yikes.

3. I guess that answers the question I usually get from people: Will you homeschool them through high school. Apparently :)

4. Sydney won the homeschool 2nd grade spelling bee! She goes to the city bee next Monday.

5. I am taking Spenser and Reed to see Hamlet at the Springer next Friday. I love Shakespeare. My favorite is A Midsummer Night's Dream.

6. The theatre we are a part of is doing The Glass Menagerie this weekend. I am the stage manager and Spenser is running the spotlight. It is a great show, but very sad. We are having a talkback after the show to discuss the difference betweent heir hopeless lives and the hope we have in Christ. Shoudl be very interesting.

7. All 3 girls are going to be in the play Behold! The Emperor's New Clothes. Reed is The Narrator/Fool. (I prefer the word Jester.) Sydney and Macy are townspeople. It looks fun!

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Dec. 26, 2008

After Christmas Blues Redux

Posted in Church God Faith

(rerunning from last year with an update at the end)

Do you feel a little letdown after Christmas? Not disappointed, exactly, just a little.. bereft of something? (bereft: Lacking something needed, wanted or expected.) I think maybe we ask too much of "Christmas." For one day a year, please let everything be perfect. Let our relatives be at peace; let our homes be filled with joy and free from discord; let our hearts be pure; let our lives be whatever they are not the rest of the year.

Sadly, it doesn't work that way. The relatives are just as they are the other days of the year. Our homes are filled with the anxiety of expectations. Our hearts are filled with the realization that a day on the calendar cannot make us pure. Our lives are left unchanged.

This season has been the saddest for me of any I can remember-- not on a personal level, but from a ministry standpoint. We have found ourselves surrounded by broken hearts, broken homes and broken lives. Abuse, suicide, drugs, infidelity, broken engagements, broken vows, broken people. A world full of hurting people. And yet...

We grieve, but not as those who are without hope. For while one day on the calendar cannot magically transform our lives, the Baby in the manger can. Because of Him and His life, death and resurrection, we have the power to change. We have the same power available to us that raised Him from the dead. The same power that enabled Him to live a sinless life. The same power that healed the sick and and the lame and the blind and the deaf. The same power that conquered sin and death and the grave. He has given us everything we need for life and Godliness. We, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord. He has the power to transform us, to make us something new and different and better. To make us like Him.

And in despair I bowed my head
“There is no peace on earth,” I said,
“For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.”

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
“God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail
With peace on earth, good will to men.”

UPDATE 2008: This year has had it's own sadness. My friend lost twin babies 2 weeks before Christmas. My mom had to spend part of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at the doctor getting IV antibiotics. I see poverty and neglect and pain and betrayal in the eyes of the children I work with at church. But I cling to the hope that the God who saw me drowning in my own pool of unrighteousness and filth sees the ones I love. I know Him as Healer and Lover and Redeemer and Savior and I pray that those around me will know Him too. I pray that if you are reading this because you did a Google search for After Christmas Blues, you will come to know Him as I do.

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Dec. 22, 2008

Misfits, Hobos and Hooligans (Oh My!)

Posted in Church God Faith

"I've waited my whole life to belong to a church like this"

A friend of mine (who is in her 60's) said this to me last week after our children's Christmas program. I know what she means. Our church is the most eclectic conglomeration of misfits, hobos, and hooligans, with a few fine upstanding Christians thrown in the mix for fun. It is hard to describe, but I will try.

We have "regular" people, of course. And by that, I just mean people you would see at any Baptist church in the South. The blue hairs, the rednecks and the greybeards. Ok not many greybeards anymore, but we have a few middle aged women with chin hairs. (I've tried plucking but they keep coming back.)

We also have an assortment of homeless who come at varying times. And they don't all get along. It is amusing to hear them talk about each other-- they each deny being like the others, whatever that means. We have a couple of special needs adults. One guy has short term memory loss and will shake your hand 3 times in a row because he doesn't remember that he already shook it. And we have the neighborhood kids who are boisterous and rowdy. Yea even raucous (thank you Mr. Roget.)

And this is somehow the body of Christ. And I see it working. One couple hosts a Bible study in their home each week to study for Sunday School. The one-armed guy started coming, and last week he was baptized. The blue hairs bought Christmas gifts for the "hooligans." The special needs adults brought puzzles and coloring books for our homework helpers program for the kids. The list goes on as we discover how to function and minister and love as Christ loves us.

Honestly I ~~sometimes~~ usually leave the Sunday morning service feeling like I have wrestled a bear. Sitting with these boisterous kids, I don't always catch every word the preacher says. I am having to adjust my definition of the word "worship." Where I might have once pictured scented candles and soft music and heartfelt prayer, I get instead smelly kids and loud "whispers" and me praying that the preacher doesn't have to stop preaching and tell them to be quiet (again).

The preacher asked at Christmas two years ago, "Can you worship in a cattle stall?" I got the metaphor then, but now it seems less figurative. Can I worship with the misfits and hobos and hooligans? Isn't this what Christmas is about? Jesus came to us, and became one of us. He hung out with the misfits; He himself was a hobo; and I have my suspicions His disciples were rather boisterous at times. Hooligans maybe?

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners [all of us: misfits, hobos and hooligans], Christ died for us.

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Dec. 19, 2008

Sometimes you need a dose of humility. And grace.

Posted in Family

I had 3 easy, compliant children and I thought I was a ~~good~~ great mother.

Then, I had Macy. And God laughed.

(This is for Abraham Piper's 22-word challenge)

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