FROM PINK – TO STINK!

A true story

By CodeRed Jack

Every body has their weird moments, and I just had one of my own. We were making gooey-goo-gup for our science experiment and mine turned Pink, PINK! My least favourite colour! I thought it would turn red, my favourite colour. As you could guess, I was desperate to change it. Daniel had used up all the blue and the green was used up ages ago! “Oh, who is me!” I cried. I panicked, and grabbed the yellow food colouring from the pantry. A weird colour is much better than PINK! I shudder at the thought or site of pink. I poured about two or three teaspoons in. and started to mix it in. Almost instantly a revolting smell began to arise from the goop and travel up my nose pipes. (If this were a cartoon movie you’d be able to see green ‘smoke’ rising from it at five flies would buzz all around it.) I fell to the floor, gasping for air, wishing that the floor would swallow me up or that I could faint, but alas, hungry floors or fainting don’t come when most desired. (Sniff, sigh.)But any way there I was on the floor one hand covering my nose the other on my throat, that’s what they do in movies when in chocking mode.

I stumbled around the kitchen like a blind beggar. With a shaking, weak hand I grabbed the kitchen bench and pulled my self up. Oh, what a miserable, unlucky child I was. I felt forevermore sorry for myself, my weak, shaking, thin, little body, arms shaking as ferociously as a guitar string that has just been plucked, a face all thin, the stench having sucked every bit of breath out of me, a face so pale and fragile I could have collapsed at any moment, and my legs, were in the same state as my arms.

I thought to myself, “I must lie down on the couch and recover my rapidly disappearing strength.” I slowly glanced over to the bowel, smoke still rising from it and five more flies had gathered to join the yucky party. I straitened out my crumbling shoulders, ‘threw’ out my chest and said to myself, says I, “I will courageously find out what I put in that pink bowel or die trying!” knowing the saying sounded like it came from superman’s own lips. The thought comforted me; I mean the thought about sounding like superman, not the thought about dying trying.

I took one more look around the kitchen, probably my last one. I saw a peg sealing a bag of sugar on the windowsill; I grabbed the peg and put it on my nose. I bravely put my foot in front of me, then the other one, then the first one until I was peering over the bowl. Fifteen flies now. It was bubbling like a witch’s stew. Steam rose and rolled over my face. You can’t imagine my relief that I had a peg on my nose! My feet suddenly gave way and before I even knew what was happening I found my head lying on the bench staring at he bottle of yellow food colouring. Just when my eyes were about to close for the last time I saw the blurred label on the bottle. My eyes were millimetres from closing, like a sinking, almost sunk, ship about to hit the bottom of the ocean floor, when I murmured the fuzzy, fading words, “b-b-br-brandy.” My eyes shut and I thought I was dead when the words hit me. Brandy? Brandy! BRANDY?!?!&*#@!@!< I had put brandy instead of yellow food colouring?!?!!? My eyelids whizzed open and I jumped to my legs, completely forgetting I was supposed to be dead.

I was speechless; thunder struck, bawled over, I couldn’t say anything for what seemed like a lifetime, my mouth had gone numb, I was flabbergasted! The first word that I said would mark history forever, that heroic, valiant, daring word that I uttered was indeed…

“Oops.” Which came out as a small, pathetic little squeak.

The morel of this legend is important, in which every one needs to know if they want to live with out a peg on their noses 247. This important instruction in which I give to you with a pat on the shoulder is…

Always read the label first!

 A (very, very) dramatic retell from CodeRed Jacks amazing life adventures.