A while back, I had a talk with my oldest at home son, who was, I think, about 10 or 11 at the time.  I shared the bare bones of this talk with some real life friends. Below is a letter that my friend, Lynn, wrote to one of her sons based on the talk I had with Jacob.  Lynn says it *much* better than I did. Thank you, Lynn.

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As a boy grows older and heads into his teens, he will go through many changes. These changes are how God turns a boy into a man. Many of these changes are physical. His hair will change texture, he will need to use deodorant, he will grow hair under his armpits and in private areas on his body, and his voice will start to change. There will be other physical changes that Daddy will talk to you about when it is time. Those are just the changes you can see on the outside. Other changes are taking place too in your feelings.

These changes are caused by hormones in your body waking up and changing. Testosterone is a special hormone that God gave Adam and all men…. and as you grow closer to manhood, the testosterone in your body will increase. Besides affecting his body in certain ways, this hormone will make a boy increasingly restless, aggressive, easily irritated, and frustrated... you might want to yell or cry or kick things.

However, those "feelings" are actually hormone issues, and God gave them to you for a reason. You can choose to view these rushes or changes of feelings as bad and choose to use them for bad - hurting people, saying things in anger, talking back, letting yourself get angry, and destroying things. There are a number of men in prison who had made that particular choice, and there are even more young men who made their families lives miserable as they adjusted to their body's changes by acting out negatively during their teen years. Your oldest brother did this.

Or you can use these "rushes" for good, as God intended. To work HARD...no more little boy work. God gave men these hormones and feelings to help them work hard to provide for their families and to be ready and prepared to defend their families if they need to. These are the hormones that help a man work hard at his job, help soldiers fight when needed, help police, help firemen, etc.

You can’t rely on the things you did when you were "just a boy" anymore. You need to take responsibility for how you handle these rushes and learn to work through them… physical work. Go mow a lawn. Go chop or stack wood. Go clean the goat shelters or yard. Go haul sticks or pick up rocks. Build something. Clean something. Serve somebody by doing hard work they can't.

Besides hard physical work…. Immerse yourself in the Lord. Read His word, spend time in prayer. Get down on your knees, learn His Word and hide it in your heart by memorizing all you can. His word is a SWORD to a mighty man.

Feel blessed that God is working these changes on your body and emotions so you can become a strong man for the Lord… but becoming a strong man for the Lord is a choice… if you do not learn to control these emotions you will bring sadness to yourself and your family. If you can learn to control them with God’s help, my help, and Dad’s help… you WILL BE a mighty man of God.

I am praying for you, Son, and Dad & I are here to help you. Going through this is a struggle… it is supposed to be a struggle. If it was easy… you would stay weak. God refines you and makes you stronger by giving you enough struggle to grow your spiritual, emotional, and physical muscles. Every time you struggle, try to thank the Lord for helping you grow stronger.