1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
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In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how??...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and... I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
My little brother's hamster, Tom died last night so of course we had to go buy one as soon as he found it .He looked at hamsters for awhile, he almost got a mouse but he decided on getting a brown and white hamster, the whole time he was picking one out I was watching the ferrets (they cleaned the ferret cage and didn't put the lid back on). We bought the hamster and took it to our van where we had a cage already set up as soon as we got home Luke named it at first he thought of calling him Big Hamster but he ended up calling him T.J (Thomas Junior) . Then he picked up T.J. and ran over to show him to me like he use to do with tom it never accured to him that this one isn't as tame as Tom was, as he was walking over to me it bit him and ran up his arm then it dove off his shoaler an the dog ran over to it, while I was busy shuting her in my parents room Luke stood there and said "Kate get him! "I came back and chased it under a bookcase while Luke got my mom to help us find it we looked for it for about 15 minutes then I saw it still behind the bookcase but up against the wall in the corner first we tried to lure it out with food then we stuck a cardboard mailing tube and it climbed into it unharmed this entire time our cat Flower was looking inside as if saying "let me in I'll help" T.J. was dumped` back in his cage unharmed and we let our cats and dog back in. Please scroll down and enter my contest . I love to get comments so please leave one. as he found it .He looked at hamsters for awhile, he almost got a mouse but he decided on getting a brown and white hamster, the whole time he was picking one out I was watching the ferrets (they cleaned the ferret cage and didn't put the lid back on). We bought the hamster and took it to our van where we had a cage already set up as soon as we got home Luke named it at first he thought of calling him Big Hamster but he ended up calling him T.J (Thomas Junior) . Then he picked up T.J. and ran over to show him to me like he use to do with tom it never accured to him that this one isn't as tame as Tom was, as he was walking over to me it bit him and ran up his arm then it dove off his shoaler an the dog ran over to it, while I was busy shuting her in my parents room Luke stood there and said "Kate get him! "I came back and chased it under a bookcase while Luke got my mom to help us find it we looked for it for about 15 minutes then I saw it still behind the bookcase but up against the wall in the corner first we tried to lure it out with food then we stuck a cardboard mailing tube and it climbed into it unharmed this entire time our cat Flower was looking inside as if saying "let me in I'll help" T.J. was dumped` back in his cage unharmed and we let our cats and dog back in. Please scroll down and enter my contest . I love to get comments so please leave one. t cage and didn't put the lid back on). We bought the hamster and took it to our van where we had a cage already set up as soon as we got home Luke named it at first he thought of calling him Big Hamster but he ended up calling him T.J (Thomas Junior) . Then he picked up T.J. and ran over to show him to me like he use to do with tom it never accured to him that this one isn't as tame as Tom was, as he was walking over to me it bit him and ran up his arm then it dove off his shoaler an the dog ran over to it, while I was busy shuting her in my parents room Luke stood there and said "Kate get him! "I came back and chased it under a bookcase while Luke got my mom to help us find it we looked for it for about 15 minutes then I saw it still behind the bookcase but up against the wall in the corner first we tried to lure it out with food then we stuck a cardboard mailing tube and it climbed into it unharmed this entire time our cat Flower was looking inside as if saying "let me in I'll help" T.J. was dumped` back in his cage unharmed and we let our cats and dog back in. . I love to get comments so please leave one.
Hi my name is Kate. I'm in the 7th grade I have a little brother name Luke, two cats name Star & Flower , a dog named Henrieta, a hamster named Pixie and a hermit crab named Missie. I love to read, write and play with my pets I hate competitive sports I'm more into things like riding my bicycle (not to brag but one time me and my dad rode all the way to Grafton 18 miles down the river)and kyaking (once I went 7 miles up the river it was really fun). My little brother just got a new hamster today, he named it Thomas he's black and white a lot bigger than Pixie she's a dwarf hamster so she's the size of a mouse but more fluffy and without a bald tail, actually she doesen't have much of a tail at all. I have to go make dinner .bye
He looked at hamsters for awhile, he almost got a mouse but he decided on getting a brown and white hamster, the whole time he was picking one out I was watching the ferrets (they cleaned the ferret cage and didn't put the lid back on). We bought the hamster and took it to our van where we had a cage already set up as soon as we got home Luke named it at first he thought of calling him Big Hamster but he ended up calling him T.J (Thomas Junior) . Then he picked up T.J. and ran over to show him to me like he use to do with tom it never accured to him that this one isn't as tame as Tom was, as he was walking over to me it bit him and ran up his arm then it dove off his shoaler an the dog ran over to it, while I was busy shuting her in my parents room Luke stood there and said "Kate get him! "I came back and chased it under a bookcase while Luke got my mom to help us find it we looked for it for about 15 minutes then I saw it still behind the bookcase but up against the wall in the corner first we tried to lure it out with food then we stuck a cardboard mailing tube and it climbed into it unharmed this entire time our cat Flower was looking inside as if saying "let me in I'll help" T.J. was dumped` back in his cage unharmed and we let our cats and dog back in. Please scroll down and enter my contest . I love to get comments so please leave one. as he found it .He looked at hamsters for awhile, he almost got a mouse but he decided on getting a brown and white hamster, the whole time he was picking one out I was watching the ferrets (they cleaned the ferret cage and didn't put the lid back on). We bought the hamster and took it to our van where we had a cage already set up as soon as we got home Luke named it at first he thought of calling him Big Hamster but he ended up calling him T.J (Thomas Junior) . Then he picked up T.J. and ran over to show him to me like he use to do with tom it never accured to him that this one isn't as tame as Tom was, as he was walking over to me it bit him and ran up his arm then it dove off his shoaler an the dog ran over to it, while I was busy shuting her in my parents room Luke stood there and said "Kate get him! "I came back and chased it under a bookcase while Luke got my mom to help us find it we looked for it for about 15 minutes then I saw it still behind the bookcase but up against the wall in the corner first we tried to lure it out with food then we stuck a cardboard mailing tube and it climbed into it unharmed this entire time our cat Flower was looking inside as if saying "let me in I'll help" T.J. was dumped` back in his cage unharmed and we let our cats and dog back in. Please scroll down and enter my contest . I love to get comments so please leave one. t cage and didn't put the lid back on). We bought the hamster and took it to our van where we had a cage already set up as soon as we got home Luke named it at first he thought of calling him Big Hamster but he ended up calling him T.J (Thomas Junior) . Then he picked up T.J. and ran over to show him to me like he use to do with tom it never accured to him that this one isn't as tame as Tom was, as he was walking over to me it bit him and ran up his arm then it dove off his shoaler an the dog ran over to it, while I was busy shuting her in my parents room Luke stood there and said "Kate get him! "I came back and chased it under a bookcase while Luke got my mom to help us find it we looked for it for about 15 minutes then I saw it still behind the bookcase but up against the wall in the corner first we tried to lure it out with food then we stuck a cardboard mailing tube and it climbed into it unharmed this entire time our cat Flower was looking inside as if saying "let me in I'll help" T.J. was dumped` back in his cage unharmed and we let our cats and dog back in. . I love to get comments so please leave one. 