I should be madly cleaning my house as we are getting ready to celebrate Passover.  I have been neglecting this blog because I have suffered with depression in the last year.  I won't bore you with all the details.  Let's just say that I am grateful to God for sustaining my life and that I am blessed to homeschool my children.  When all the world seems to be heading in the wrong direction, I am trusting in the Lord and His promises for His children.  I have struggled with anxiety and fear over the future ever since I became pregnant with my first child.  Even then, I knew that worry and fear was a sin.  I just couldn't conquer it!  I come from a very dysfunctional family.  Many things happened in my childhood that I am not even able  to talk about without revisiting those traumas.  When I became a believer, I thought I was supposed to become perfect.  When I failed to achieve that perfection, I became withdrawn and turned to worldly pleasures instead of God.  This all culminated last Spring with a rather dramatic performance, starring yours truly.  I had no idea where the hopelessness and fear crept in, but it hit me hard.  I am just now coming to understand how delicate life is.  I took it for granted and neglected my own health.  Where do you go when all your "friends" don't want to be around you?  What can you do when your poor diet choices have started to wreak havoc on your body?  HOW do you start to cleanse and purge the junk inside of your physical and spirtual body?  I just am so overwhelmed by all the mess around me.  I hate that I see things that I cannot change and I really want to escape from it all!

Ok, so there.  This is the beginning of a renewal period for me.  This blog will be a place where I can journal my journey with weight loss and spiritual recovery.  Homeschooling will always be important to me, and I hope to become proficient with the HTML stuff so I can post pictures of our homeschooling days.

Be Blessed!  Chag Sameach to all you Messianic believers and Happy Ressurection Day to all the other Christians!   

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